Thursday, April 25, 2024

You Read It That Way Too Huh

    Hi!  Last Day Of The CrapWeek!  Not sure I'm particularly proud of this week.  Not even close!  FUCK WEEKS THO, I CONTAIN MONTHSITUDES.  I can stand to have some weak weeks when I've been pumping out some monumental months.  Who could forget OCTOBER 4 Example.  Halloween.  Not sure I can take credit for Halloween.  But one can bet your bottom dollar I PLAYED INTO HALLOWEEN JUST RIGHT.  I capitalized on Halloween like a MOFO FUCKER and wrote THE BEST paragraphs.  We talkin Hallowizzle 2023shizzle?  FOR SURE.  What DID happen last year now that I think about it.  NOT MUCH.  Nobody likes you when you're 2023.  Speaking of Lyrics TO That SONG Does The state really look down on sodomy?  I know a lot of PEOPLE look down on sodomy.  But OUTSIDE What's My Age Again Lyrics I've NEVER heard a single instance of The State actually officially or semi-officially Looking Down On Sodomy in the 20-21st century.  BUT I LIVE A VERY VERY SHELTERED LIFESTYLE.  Just cause I never heard about it DOESN'T MEAN IT AIN'T HAPPENING.
  "Your husbands in jail, the state looks down on sodomy."  Then why did they put her husband in jail!  That's just gonna increase the chance for more sodomy!  THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS IN JAIL.  They're not thinking two steps ahead I'm Sad To Say!  WELL ANYWAY when I tried lighting the Last Marijuana Prerolled Cigarette I Had the entire thing IGNITED and broke apart.  I'm not sure how to explain it exactly.  It's like the marijuana contained therein came apart from the skin of the joint.  Like a magic trick!  Just somehow the two pieces separated from each other while remaining completely intact themselves Upon Combustion!  Either way now I get to smoke that marijuana by putting it in my pipe and smoking it!  ALRIGHT then.  The State isn't LOOKING DOWN on Sodomy by putting Her Husband in jail.  Looking down is PASSIVE DISAPPROVAL.  Putting someone in jail is THREE STEPS BEYOND.  I don't like this song anymore.  I'M SCARED.  Don't worry it's just a prank phone call within the context of the song.  IT'S NOT REAL!!
   Oh okay that's good.  What are the odds this lady actually doesn't know where her husband is.  She answers the phone and this person says YOUR HUSBAND IS IN JAIL BECAUSE OF SODOMY.  Off the bat there's a 90% chance she'd be like Noooo... he's right here....  Prank phone caller gota be like WRONG.  BODY DOUBLE.  REAL ONE IS IN JAIL FOR SODOMY.    But Yeah!  I Don't Like The Odds She's Like WAIT A SECOND HMM THAT'S RIGHT I HAVE BEEN WONDERING WHERE THE HELL MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN FOR A WHLIE.  ..JAIL FOR SODOMY.  AH.  THAT ADDS UP.  The point is I WOULD SAY usually you know where your husband is most of the time but I LIVE A VERY SHELTERED LIFESTYLE.  NO SPOUSES AT ALL TO CALL MY OWN.  Anyway.  I can relate to Nobody Likes You When You're 23 because Nobody EVER Likes Me EVER.  Including when I was 23.  So FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR I was like YEAH.  RIGHT ON.  TOTALLY. 
   Fourth paragraph!  Gonna get Diner Delivery tonight.  Possibly leaning towards Scrambling Eggs and Bacon.  That sounds like it'd be a blast and a half.  What year POST CHRIST was it when I was 23.  More or less 2012.  EVERYONE LIKED ME when it was 2012 now that I think about it.  If anything.  Hmm.  Most years nobody liked me but that years EVERYONE LOVED ME.  The Age I Am Now is an important age in Lyrics.  Comes up in a verse in It Was A Very Good Year The Francis Sinatra Song.  Thirty Five.  FUCK.  AFTER THIS ONE IT GOES STRAIGHT TO ...now the days are short, I'm in the autumn of my years... WHAT TEH FUCK.  THAT'S THE NEXT THING I HAVE COMING UP AFTER THIS?  That doesn't sound exactly right.  Surely Frank Sinatra could have a Delightful Wonderful Year that's like 49 or something.  Really don't need to go straight from 35 To Elderly, do we?  Ah well.  This is the life I chose!  I chose this life by continuing to live it.  I have two choices!  LIVE life.  END life.  Also you can LIVE LIFE any which way you want.  Think of all the ways you can live your life!  The possibilities are endless!  What Fun!  ALL the colors of the rainbow.
  Anyway.  What's the most appealing age in It's A Wonderful Year.  Lemme LTURQ.  I dunno.  Reading the lyrics doesn't really give me Any Kind Of Jolt.  Listening to the song Makes Me Feel All Sorts Of Feelings!  I listen to that song and I WANNA BE ALL THEM AGES!!!  I read the lyrics and I couldn't care less.  The takeaway is that Frank Sinatra IS NOT TALENTED AT ALL.  Terrible lyricist.  Why do people think he's any good.  That's what I GET out of this story.  WHAT?  Interent says Originally Written by, "ERVIN DRAKE?" I'm so dismissive of him I'LL PUT HIS NAME IN QUOTATIONS I WILL.  Anyway what else is going on.  Called myself JAKE in some scene in Improv Class.  I don't like it when I'm forced to use a name for myself at some point during a scene!  MOst of the time I just call myself Michael!  I don't like doing that, either!  Look if I can come up with a name at my own speed I'll come up with a fine name.  But Improve Class IS NOT my own speed!  SORRY.  What's my own speed.  There's probably something out there in this big blue world of ours That's My Own Speed.  OCTOBER.  Huh. Maybe a reboot of the Speed Franchise.  WHY NOT IT'S POSSIBLE.
   Sixth paragraph.  I assume I'd be the Heroe.  And by which I mean the actual Hero and not the Villain who may appear to be the Hero to psychologically disturbed people.  WHAT mode of transportation would New Speed take place on.  Hmm.  Have they done BUS yet.  Yep.  First one they did.  Hmm.  What else is going on.  I just realized there are two concurrent flavors of Ruffles Potato Chips Cheddar and Sour Cream and Sour Cream and Onion.  I don't know WHICH ONE I thought was real.  I thought it was just ONE OF THEM though.  Either way I just added Ruffles ORIGIONAL to my Supre Market order for tomorrow morning.  So that's good.  What else is up.  Seems like Jerry Seinfeld's Directorial Debut is coming up soon.  About Pop Tarts.  What's THE DEAL With Pop Tarts.  I was about to do a Jerry Seinfeld Character where I do a riff on Pop Tarts in a Jerry Seinfeld voice.  ...So I was just gonna... off the top of my head... do material that's more or less Jerry Seinfeldeqsue.  YEP.  THAT WAS THE IDEA!  Changed my mind thoguh.  DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.  I could have.  But I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.
    Four paragraphs to go.  They call em Pop Tarts BUT THEY'RE NOT TART.  It sounds like Jerry Seinfeld IF you manage to read it like him.  OH.  So we've abandoned trying to craft jokes like him.  NOW we've just settled for dumbly mimicking his tone of voice.  IF A RANDOM READER MANAGES TO DO IT HIMSELF IN HIS HEAD BY CHANCE.  That's what worries me about Brother Movie!  Maybe I can Dumbly Mimic Myself into saying something that my Brother Interprets as Something Worthwhile, but it's ACTUALLY A THOUSANSD DEGREES AWAY from something I'M ACTUALLY PROUD (AND SOMEWHAT HALFWAY CAPABLE) of putting out there!  Oh ok that's good.  What else is up.  What's the tartest Pop Tart you got.  I feel like I asked this here before a couple of moths ago.  What's the Deja Vuest thing you got.  Either way it's VERY POSSIBLE I don't care at all.  I googled What Is The Tartest Pop Tart.  Based on the results I DON'T REMEMBER googling this before.  There are no results.  NOTHIN in terms of any anyswers that satisfy My Queries.
    Three paragraphs to go.  Let's see. Got my mom some cigarettes this morning.  CARTONS of cigarettes.  Probably could have picked them up on a walk but for some reason my Dad drove me to a store to buy them.  That's HIS prerogative not mine.  Is it possible I'd Enjoy Life More IF I WERE Smoking Cigarettes?  Smoked cigarettes for right about ten years.  At this point I've been OFF The tobacco for right about FIVE years.  I don't have any real chemical urge to smoke!  But INTELLECTUALLY I'm thinking hmm wonder if that'll Balance out my life a bit.  If I started smoking again.  My feeling is PROBABLY SHOULDN'T.  Whatever it adds to my life, IS IT WORTH taking ten years off my life?  MY FEELING IS PROBABLY NOT.  I don't want the lung cancers and the heart diseases and the PAINS and the SICKNESSES and whatknot!  Not to mention the hundreds of thousands of dollars Over The Lifetime.  IT DOES go to a worthy cause at least though.  THEM. 
   Penultimate paragraph.  SNOT RAC.  Cartons backwards.  OK.  I saw in a prison mini series they smoke Coffee Sticks or something.  Not sure how that works exactly.  But it piqued my interest!  What's a NEW form of transportation they didn't have in the 1990's that SPEED should take place on.  That would be a NOVEL way to take the franchise in 2024.  OH.  A SEGUE.  Okay.  OH.  AN UBER.  Okay.  OH.  TESLA.  GOTCHA.  SPACEX.  THAT THING THAT SUNK THAT WAS TAKING PEOPLE TO THE TITANIC.  Anyway.  Guess there's not really that much new in the mode of transportation these days.  I'm not proud to admit it, but I'm pretty sure about half of the time when I pronounce Tesla in my head, I pronounce it Telsa.  Not MOST of the time.  Not ALL the time.  More or less a coin flip!  Wonder what that's all about!  The important thing is this paragraph is OVER.
   Amazing.  FOR THIS WEEKEND, maybe I just read a book I already have in my house and presumably have already read before.  HMM.  Wonder what that'll be.  IN GENERAL it's ALWAYS RIGHT TO READ SOMETHING. That's my philosophy.  Better for your health than watching TV at least!  So that's good!  Anyway.  Haven't listened to a podcast in a long time.  Probably not since February.  It's APRIL now.  That's... two months!  Huh.  Then I got Improvement Class on Monday.  That should be interesting.  All them people!  I like the people in this class.  They're quality 201 Level Improvementizers!  I'D LIKE TO SEE WHAT THEY CAN DO in a 301 level class.  Probably pay 500 dollars to participate in one.  IMO.  Whatever. I'll figure out A Good Book To Read whether I have it or not.  That'll increase my Brain Power and give me an optimal Framing Of Mind.  So that's good!  Anyway.  I'll see ya'll next week!

-4:54 P.M.  
   
    
  

Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Maybe You'd Prefer Another Website

    Hey, friends!  Maybe got half a dozen life updates for today.  There's ON GOING STORY LIENS of my life!  What's new!  Hmm.  I'm probably getting Chinese Food for dinner.  THAT'S FOR ONE.  Gonna get Treasures Of The Land And Sea.  I don't like the name.  But I like the dish.  Sounds like if there were Treasures Of The AIR Too it'd be even better.  What could be a Treasure Of The Air. PHEASANT.  Do Pheasants Fly.  Not even sure we still really have Pheasants.  Seems like an Old School Dish.  Exchange Some Pheasantries and whatknot.  DUCKS.  Ducks fly a good amount.  Humans eat ducks.  Let's get some DUCK in this House Specialty Dish.  I have an affinity towards DUCK.  I know it's true.  YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE if you trust me as much as you should.  Hmm.  Maybe you should be skeptical.  That way at least ONE OF US is right.  Donald Duck IS KIND OF A Cuck.  He's not even in any Sexual Relationship with anyone to begin with but he's just giving off those kind of vibes IMO.  In Chinese Restaurants WHAT IS Duck Sauce.  WE KNOW it has nothing to do with Duck.  NOW WHAT. 
   "MIGHTY," Ducks?  YOU GUYS AIN'T MIGHTY.  DUCK?  More like CUCKS.  EVERYONE'S A CUCK.  MEANWHLIE I AM TEH WALRUS.  CUCK CUCK A CHOO.  There's a UCB Stand Up class that starts a few days after my Improve Class ends.  Maybe I take that instead of the Online Late Night Writing Class.  I dunno!  It's an entirely different animal.  Whereas one of the classes might be a Lemur, the other one might be some sort of Jackal.  I don't know which one is better for myself and/or the world in general.  I guess I got some time to think on it!  LEMURS HAVE FEMURS.  DEAL WITH IT.  JACKALS ARE HACKLES.  What possessed me to write those sentences.  I don't know!  It's not often something possesses me to write such absolute nonsense.  I mean, sure, RELATIVE NONSENSE, yes.  BUT USUALLY I CAN GIVE SOME SORT OF EXPLANATION for what I type.  NOT THIS TIME.  I GOT NOTHIN FOR YA THIS TIME.  Is it important I Know What I'm Talking About?  I don't know!  Ideally I'd know what I'm talking about.  But I guess in the end it's not a necessity I know what I'm talking about.  TRUE STORY.
    Third paragraph!  My brother got his Camera.  First songs that occur to me that are camera themed OFF TEH TOP OF MY HEAD AS OF THIS MOMENT?  Wilco -- Kamera.  Spoon -- I Turn My Camera On.  Paul Simon -- Kodachrome.  Alright I'm done.  Three's enough.  Anyway.  I'm not at my most INSIGHTFUL Spring 2024.  And we're gonna start FILMING not this weekend but WEEKEND AFTER NEXT WEEKEND.  I got time to build up to being Good Subject.  Is, "Insightful," the ULTIMATE to aim for? I  dunno!  It's the last adjective I used Just Now!  So there's THAT.  Been drinking two beers per entry this week.  Instead of one.  Not a big deal, really.  The important thing is The Brady Bunch kids are AMAZING ACTORS.  HOW THE HELL do they manage to pull off Their Actings.  They have more self awareness as people AT TWELVE YEARS OLD than I have EVER.  I WILL DIE before reaching their levels of self awareness.  THAT'S ACTORS FOR YOU.  KINGS AMONG MEN.
    Something along those liens.  We're starting to see some specific pairings in season two.  PETER AND CINDY.  GREG AND... I FORGET.  The important thing is WE GET INTO TEH WEEDS with some specific pairings.  Anyway.  Thinking about whether I should get my brother to read my The New Monkees MANUSCRIPT before filming the DOC.  Probably wouldn't make that much of a difference!  But that might provide CONTEXT for What's Going On With Me And Whatknot.  I DUNNO.  The story I was trying to tell a couple of months ago.  Lemme think on that one for a while.  ANYWAY I wanna get back into doing music.  Haven't been making music in a long while seriously.  Partially because I'm Not Good At It in a long while.  But nowhere in the rule book does it say A Dog Can't Be Good At Music.  Huh.  Maybe my brother can just DOCUMENT me MAKING A MUSIC PROJECT.  That's as good as any other dumb idea he has.  PLUS it's motivation for me to make music.  Which is an entertainment project that's actually WORTH something!  ZING ZANG ZONG.
   Fifth paragraph.  Brother can make music with me.  He's competent enough on the guitar!  WHY NOT.  Any dumb encouragement he could give to me RE: Making Doc ("It'll be good just do it I'm telling you I can absolutely see it and it will be good") I CAN MAKE TO HIM RE: Making Music!!!  Hmm.  THIS IS SOUNDS VERY ENCOURAGING.  I'm definitely coming out of this feeling Something Brilliant Is Going To Happen.  What else is up.  Anyway.  I dunno.  That's something I WILL consider.  This DOC my brother wants to make isn't a ONE AND DONE deal.  MAYBE I get the impression NOW THAT'S HIS THING OR SOMETHING?  HE'S INTO MAKING FILM?  So he might make a One Off Film about His And My personal inner Life or something kind of along those lines As A First Things First to work things out.  And then maybe a second project is Hey Let's Film Michael Doing A Music Project.  I dunno!  I REALLY DON'T.  The important thing is I keep doing MY THING.  And YOU KEEP DOING YOUR THING.  And those in your life KEEP DOING THEIR THINGS.
   Halfway through the entry.  SURE.  Started listening to the new Ben Folds/William Shatner/Symphony Orchestra musical collaboration album earlier.  It's okay.  I don't know what I think about it!  Not sure I formed a single THOUGHT about it.  I FELT MY WAY THROUGH IT is more accurate.  It was a pleasurable experience.  I wasn't paying well enough attention to make out most of the lyrics.  BUT I FELT William Shatner was surprisingly articulate.  I found myself thinking HMM I think he sounds slightly less like a caricature of William Shatner than you'd guess he would.  MAYBE BECAUSE THE CONCEIT TO THIS TRACK IS he's Singing A Song.  Either way I'll continue to listen to that album because I FINISH WHAT I START.  That's kind of a weird BRAG for people to say.  I FINISH WHAT I START.  Okay.  I kinda get the sense that Whenever Someone Says This, it's in a context where THEY'RE PROBABLY BETTER OFF Not Finishing What They've Started?? Ah well.  PERSONALLY I'd like to get started on something NEW that's a Potentially Better Situation For Me.  That's just me though.
    Seventh paragraph.  What else is going on and crap.  Paul Simon -- Kodachrome EH.  Sorry I got distracted looking Up At Previous Blobs Of Words.  How does Weird Al feel about You Can Call Me Al.  Probably wishes people were calling HIM AL this whole time and not Paul Simon!  And how does Carly Rae Jepsen-- Call Me Maybe work into that equation.  Probably SIGNIFICANTLY.  What else is going on.  If I were Weird Al I'd feel POSITIVE about EVERYTHING.  Otherwise it'd might depress people.  Makes sense.  Anyway.  I find it interesting when we do this Improv Exercise which we take turns singing songs while in the center of a circle, and 80% of the songs everyone is singing along to I Have No Idea What These Songs Are.  It's FUNNY because I LOVE MUSIC and I'M A MUSICIAN.  I have DEDICATED MY LIFE TO THE LISTENING ARTS and yet I cannot keep up with The Music Exercise Of Singing Songs You Know in Improvement Class.  Huh.
   Three paragraphs to go.  To be fair I can't keep up with just about anything in class or out of class.  So there's THAT.  Well, anyway, what else is up.  I don't like the Starbucks people starting to make my order before I've given it.  Just because it's the same order I get every other day.  YES they're inevitably correct.  And it DOES end up saving time.  BUT WHAT IF THEY WERE WRONG.  WHAT IF today I wanted something unique.  I don't think they should be taking chances like this!  It's not safe!  Anyway I'm just putting that out there into the universe.  If I type it out HERE, I imagine it might reach Starbucks People THERE eventually.  Might take some twists and turns but over the course of time THEY'LL GET THE MESSAGE.  Probably!  I don't like it during the early-mid afternoon where Starbucks has BATHROOM Closed off. THAT'S MORE IMPORTANT.  Make sure they get THAT message.  Keep Bathroom NONCLOSED OFF A.K.A. OPEN all the time.  TELL EM MIKE SENT YA.
    Penultimate paragraph!  Hmm.  Hot 'n Sour Soup is gonna come with my Chinese Food whether I like it or not!  And guess what-- Kind Of Like It!  Delicious.  Not gonna finish the entirety of this dish in one night.  And there's not enough for two dishes.  DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME FOLKS.  I'LL EAT ALL I WANT IN ONE MEAL AND FIGURE OUT THE REST LATER ON.  IT'LL BE GOOD DON'T WORRY.  Eat leftover rice and shrimps and whatknot as a snack here and there.  Who cares.  It'll make sense.  Not a big deal.  What's the problem!  Kinda feels like a problem now.  It wasn't at first but now I'm getting ProblemVibes.  Ah well.  IT WAS GOOD WHILE IT LASTED.  What was.  ProblemFree Existance.  NOW MY LIFE IS NOTHING BUT PROBLEMS.  Starting with Chinese Food leftovers.  WHAT TO DO WITH THEM. LIFE SUCKS NOW!!!  Anyway.  White Rice.  Pork Fried Rice.  White Rice.  Prok Fried Rice.  Think I'm gonna go with White Rice.
   Last paragraph!  I dunno!  DO I WANT to do a new music project.  I don't know.  Maybe.  NEW MUSIC PROJECT.  BE A STAND UP COMEDIAN.  Gotta do SOMETHING.  I have it in me to do something great.  And just BE A DOCUMENTARY SUBJECT is a cop out.  I can CREATE GOOD THING I think.  If I deal myself the right cards!  Anyway.  The World can REALLY USE a new music project that I am vaguely capable of creating.  IT'D REALLY BE THE TITS.  YOU'D BE KNOCKED ON YOUR ASS!!!  Anyway.  THAT MAY BE my brother's inner monologue right now What With Documentary Film??? I dunno.  Could be completely off!  I have no idea.  WHO KNOWS ANYTING these days.  Pretty sure lots of people know things but NOT THE PEOPLE YOU'D WANT TO.  So there's THAT.  Anyway.  Probably watch some Brady Bunch tonight!  I don't think I'm tellign tales out of school with saying that!  Guess that's it for now, though.  I'll see ya tomorrow!

-6:10 P.M.
         
  

Tuesday, April 23, 2024

Already I Hate It

    What's up!  LOOKS LIKE BOBBY got a Drum Set.  What.  What's going on.  Oh.  REAL LIFE?  HMM.  I was talking about Brady Bunch.  LEMME THINK ON REAL LIFE FOR A SECOND.  Got some nice comments on my haircut in Improvement Class yesterday.  I'm not sure I have any other experience in my lifetime of people just saying nice things about my appearance.  THIS WAS IT.  BETTER MAKE SURE I GET THE MOST OUT OF IT WHILE I CAN.  I guess I did.  I accepted the consequences of those words and got some SEROTONIN or DOPAMINE as a result.  One or two of them!  I felt good for SOME REASON.  And THAT was THAT.  Dopamine sounds better than serotonin.  No one has ever adequately explained to me WHAT a dopamine reaction or a serotonin reaction is but I've formed my own unconscious half formed assumptions of what they mean.  AND I'M GUESSING Serotonin is for CHUMPS and Dopamine is for CHAMPS.  I guess.  Kind of lots of Weird Contexts in my brain to them.  To me Serotonin is more FEMININE for some reason.  Dopamine is more AGRO or something.  Hmm.  DOPAMINE, ALL MINE!  I'll take serotonin too, though!  I'LL TAKE EVERYTHING YOU GOT.
    I had teriyaki chicken SUBWAY sandwich last night.  It was NEH.  I'd like to submit a SIDEBAR THOUGH that TERIYAKI IS A FUN WORD.  Try pronouncing each syllable individually.  TE RI YA KI.  Teriyaki.  FUN WORD. ...IS IT POSSIBLE TO COMPLETELY REMOVE THAT SIDEBAR???  ....The second Subway Sandwich I got to justify the order was a sliced turkey and ham combo!  Gonna have that tonight.  Almost done with the current round of Pre Rolled Marijuana Cigarettes I have.  NICE.  I get to start a new BLEND next time I buy.  Whew!  THINK DIFFERENTLY!  I haven't PARTICULARLY LIKED the way I've Thought Specially While High the last three weeks.  It's NOTHING TO WRITE HOME ABOUT the way the marijuana has been making me think and feel lately!  SURE IT'S FINE.  COULD BE BETTER THOUGH.  LOOK, WHEN I SMOKE MARIJUANA AT NIGHT IS SPECIALTIMES.  It's when I THINK ON THINGS FOR CONTEXT.  Last few weeks hasn't been particularly Wonderful.  Been.. not bad... just... I DON'T KNOW.  Hard To Say Exactly.  The strain is Candy Jack.  Maybe that'll speak for itself!  Kind of a boring name IMO..  IT IS WHAT IT IS.  It's BORING.  It needs SOME EDGE or something.  There's no such thing as Boring Names.  ONLY BORING NAME INTERPRETERS.  So much fun you can get out of CANDY JACK.  Huh.  Maybe.  Not right now though.
    Huh.  NOW'S NOT THE TIME.  Maybe tomorrow!  Passover going on right now.  I feel like I am WITHIN the spirit of celebrating Passover by Skipping Celebrating Passover.  I'm still passing over SOMETHING.  Hmm.  I LIKE JUDAISM.  I'll celebrate Passover NEXT YEAR.  What with the bitter herbs and all.  Huh.  I DON'T KNOW how anti-Semetic it is In Places Like College Political Arenas now.  IS IT REALLY ALL OUT ANTI SEMITISM or is it just Anti-Israel stuff.  WHO KNOWS.  Who cares anymore.  Hmm. If I don't care about THE NEWS what should I care about.  Well clearly the answer is THE BRADY BUNCH.  Huh.  There must be a better answer to this question.  IS the answer FIND OUT ABOUT THE TRUE STATE OF ANTI-SEMITISM ON COLLEGE CAMPUSES?  I guess.  But HOW.  It's not EASY TO ME RIGHT AWAY to JUST FIND OUT THE TRUTH.  IF ONLY THERE WAS A SOCIAL MEDIA DEDICATED TO THE TRUTH.  Also, let me emphasize... a SOCIAL media dedicated to the Truth.  a TRUTH SOCIAL one might say.  THAT SOUNDS LIKE IT WOULD BE THE INVESTMENT OF A LIFETIME.
    What's going on.  I always imagined Truth Social more like an Ice Cream Social and not in the context of Social Media.  I'm pretty sure an Ice Cream Social is a thing.  I guess there's a 25% chance That Means Nothing.  Anyway.  I think we take Iced Cream for granted.  When our elders like Joe Biden or Nancy Pelosi say they like Ice Cream we think oh that's nice it's an easy PR move to say you like ice cream because everyone likes it.  But when someone whose 100 years old say they like iced cream and it's important to them it's because THEY WERE ON THE GROUND FLOOR LEVEL WITH ICED CREAM.  JOE BIDEN PROBABLY GREW UP IN A WORLD WITHOUT ICED CREAM is what I'm going to tell Generation Alpha and that's why it's such a big deal to him.  Huh.  I eat a lot of iced cream.  I guess I'm in good company.  Joe Biden.  Nancy Pelosi.  Gotta imagine a Third Much Better Company.  Hmm.  Nancy Pelosi likes CHOCOLATE.  That's her thing.  I read about it PROBABLY IN TWITTER BIOGRAPHIES or something.  WHICH ARE IN FACT BINDING CONTRACTS.
    Fifth paragraph!  I guess I gotta write six more paragraphs. MY BROTHER says he purchased NEW CAMERA yesterday.  Might get around to doing some filming this weekend or sometime next week.  That's good.  I have no idea what he wants from me.  AUTHENTICITY.  Off the top of my head that's my best guess.  Keep It Real or something!  That'll do the trick.  BROTHER bought a STATIONARY CAMERA that also takes moving pictures.  But it looks like a Still Camera would.  WONDER if that'll impact my frame of mind while being filmed.  WHAT FRAME OF MIND.  I have no frame of mind.  I really don't think I do now that I think about it!  WHAT THE HELL IS A FRAME OF MIND ANYWAY.  THAT SOUNDS COMPLETELY STRANGE TO ME.  Better figure out a Consistent Frame Of Mind for Film.  Huh.  What's a good FRAME OF MIND.  Whatever.  Might not know WHAT frame of mind to be in but as long as its CONSISTENT throughout the project it'll be good.  Didn't have lunch today.  I'd like the taste of eating lunch RIGHT NOW even though it's almost dinnertime and I'm not hungry.  THESE ARE THE PROBLEMS HUMANS LIKE ME EXPERIENCE EVERY NOW AND THEN.  The point is I don't want the taste of a snack.  I want the taste of a meal.  Don't get it TWISTED.
    Halfway through the act. I wonder if we can incorporate a soundtrack of Popular Music Songs in the Documentary.  I'm gonna guess WE CAN'T.  I know we can't LEGALLY.  You can't just put in songs that are copywrighted into your work without asking.  I mean, YOU CAN.  Just DO IT.  There will be consequences.  But YOU CAN DO IT AND FACE THE CONSEQUENCES.  Either way my Brother will probably FORBID IT.  The point is How obscure will this ultimately be.  Cause if it's ONE HUNDRED PERCENT COMPLETELY OBSCURE then there IS NO HARM in putting in Popular Music Songs!  Might as well have some fun with it.  That's how I feel.  I guess the point of the film is to make it AS LEAST OBSCURE AS POSSIBLE.  We want to reach as many people as we can!  I DON'T KNOW WHY EXACTLY BUT IT'S POSSIBLE THE ULTIMATE GOAL IS TO GET THE MOST AMOUNT OF WATCHERS AS POSSIBLE.  Seems like one of the top twenty goals to achieve if not THE MOST IMPORTANT one at least.  Get the Most Amount Of Peoples To View It!
    Seventh paragraph!  WHAT IS IT ABOUT EXACTLY AGAIN.  I can't tell you that now.  It's about PEOPLE.  You know.  Those Things that You And I Are.  Something along those lines.  That's the impression that I get.  COULD BE WRONG.  As far as I can tell as of this moment it's PEOPLE filming PEOPLE about PEOPLE.  Well the first two thirds are right on target definitely at least.  Last third is open for interpretation!  There's a People Magazine.  FINALLY a magazine group to which I BELONG.  I'm a people.  I've never felt so recognized before in my life!  SURE if it was invented today they'd stylize the magazine PPL.  Well, maybe.  I don't KNOW if kids these days spell People PPL.  That's what WE DID WHEN WE WERE KIDS.  We did a lot of things when we were kids.  What else did we do.  Abbreviated OTHER words, for one!  Like what.  I CAN'T GO THROUGH ALL TEH WORDS WE ABBREVIATED WITH YOU.  I JUST CAN'T.
    Three paragraphs to go.  What's going on in The Wide World Of The World.  Seems pretty shitty.  I don't have the best context for The World but as far as I can tell world sucks shit.  Maybe I'll gain greater context though.  That's possible!  What are the chances that some context presents itself to me as accurate and is like ACTUALLY THE WORLD IS PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME.  That'd be the tits.  Anyway what else is going on and crap.  How's my Mind working today.  IMAGINATIONWISE and whatknot.  I dunno.  NOT GREAT.  I was watching THe Brady Bunch and NOW I'M HERE.  SO HOW GOOD CAN IT BE?  Greg Brady SMOKED CIGARETTE.  TRUE He told the truth about it and didn't pick it up as a habit.  BUT HE DID IT ANYWAY.  I'm disappointed in him.  I'll never look at him the same.  I HAVE NO SON.  Except for Bobby and the other one.  Peter.  What's Peter good for.  I think his voice changes in one episode.  That should be good for a larf.
    Penultimate paragraph.  I was really proud of myself when my voice dropped.  It corresponded to being in Chorus in middle school and getting all kinds of SOLOES and doing my Bar Mitzfah and... ALSO getting SOLOES.  Not gonna lie-- Was kinda full of myself with my Deep Singing Voice and whatknot!  Especially as a contrast to my Tiny Compact Body!  TO BE FAIR I was getting outside positive reinforcement so you can't blame my Dumb Self Confidence ALL ON ME.  Blame my feelings of assuredness on the people who errantly gave it to me!  THIS IS ALL THEIR FAULT.  Ah well.  TO BE FAIR I no longer have that self confidence SO IN THE END it all worked out more or less!  SO that's good.  Is there a good reason why there's no bar somewhere in the city called Bar Mitzfah?  YES.  Because it's INFANTILE.  Ah.  That's a pretty good reason!  That settles that.  TRADITIONALLY how come Jewish kids don't lobby their parents to drink a glass of wine during their Bar Mitzfahs and whatknot.  WE'RE ADULTS NOW.  SEEMS like JewKids would be good at doing that sort of thing.  Cause we're CLEVER and WILY.  Not sure I like that characterization.
    Last paragraph!  Let's see.  WHAT WOULD BE GOOD MATERIAL for a final paragraph.  Probably Funny Stuff.  Off the top of my head, that's ideal fodder!  I finished the MusicScienceBrain book this past weekend!  GREAT.  Happy to get it out of the way.  I guess 20% of it was interesting and most of it was a let down!  WHAT NEXT.  Do I have a book IN MY POSSESSION that's next.  Lemme LTURQ.  I DON'T THINK SO.  I can look up some books to get on AMAZON (dot com).  Comedy or Music memoirs are some evergreens that I always like.  I read someone ON THE INTERNET say that most celebrity memoirs are GHOSTWRITTEN.  Now that I think about it this anonymous Social Media'r IS PROBABLY RIGHT.  YES IT'S TRUE My Favorite Comedian or Musician is more likely to have it in them to Write Their Biography than your average person... but it's still worth considering Maybe They Possibly Still Didn't Actually Write Their Biography Now That I Think About It.  I DUNNO.  Either way I'M DONE HERE.  I'll see ya tomorrow.  I ACTUALLY WROTE THIS.  ME.  I SWEAR IT.  I'M AMAZIN'!!  See ya tomorrow!

-6:22 P.M.    
 
   

Monday, April 22, 2024

We Should Do This Again Sometime

    Hey, friends!  STARTED a new medication.  WE'RE TALKIN' VYVANSE.  Some sort of Stimulation Medication.  It is taking the place of Ritalin!  Today is my third day of taking it!  So far kinda liking it!  I feel like a real Normo somehow.  Off the top of my head, SURE I FEEL DIFFERENT, and THAT'S HOW.  Suddenly everything's Exactly Normal I Would Imagine.  Go figure.  My imagination seems dulled now that I think about it.  It's POSSIBLE I just haven't particularly wanted to activate my imagination yet.  There's A TIME for imagination and that time hasn't come yet!  I was just in IMPROV class.  I would have liked to have Imagination then.  You can't always get what you want.  That's for babies.  And people who haven't heard The Rolling Stones Dyscography.  Improv class went decently.  I was terrible AS IS my M.O. but got some laughs anyway.  Who cares.  YOU CAN GET LAUGHS FOR A THOUSAND REASONS other than the ones you want.  Could be pity laugh.  Could be idle laugh.  Could be robotic.  Could even be a Secret Sarcasm Laugh!  Just getting the laugh will get you the chemical reaction you want In Improv Class but IN TEH END IT MEANS VERY LITTLE.  Well that's all behind me now anyway.
    VYVANSE helps with eating issues as well!  Which I have!  And I can immediately already see it helping.  So all in all Vyvanse is the shit!  MOVING ONWARD.  I listened to the Taylor Swift album.  It took my several hours but I DID IT.  Here are my thoughts-- DUHHHHH.  I have no thoughts.  Turnt me into a dullard!  Listening to the music made me LAME and RETARDED in the CLASSICAL SENSE of the word at least TEMPORARILY throughout the course of the music happening and in the immediate aftermath.  At FIRST I thought it was the Vyvanse that had my mind Sorta Locked Up the last few days but NOW I think it was The Taylor Swift's album That Made Me Tangibly Stupider.  ON TEH SUBJECT, WHAT are Matthew Lillard's thoughts on the term Dullard.  Anyway YES its insipid music SURE but I'd like to see Anyone Else On Earth Do Better Other Than A Few Hundred People.  I'd probably enjoy a lot of it if I listened to more of it.  I don't know how that's gonna pan out!  We'll have to SEE how algorithms give me tracks going forward or not!  That's THEIR BUSINESS not MINE.
    Into season II of Brady Bunch.  Another thing that might be destroying my brain!  Jeez.  Brain is really taking its lumps lately.  Brady Bunch is unironically better than you'd think!  And by, "You'd Think," I mean, "I thought!"  I don't know why I used two completely different words to convey two two completely different words!  That's ENGLISH for you.  Throughout the process of writing the album did Taylor Swift consider herself A Tortured Poet Department.  Huh.  Sounds like she's the secretary or something and not the poet.  SHE'S ANSWERING THE PHONES OR SOMETHING.  Hmm.  TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT!  HOW CAN I CONNECT YOU.  She's at the switchboard.  GOOD.  SOMEONE NEEDS TO DO IT.  I don't know if that metaphor carries over to when you actually LISTEN to the album though and not just Know The Album Title.  I don't REMEMBER What The Songs Sounded Like.  I REALLY DON'T!  Huh.  Probably ECHOES of old Taylor Swift songs.  Those were probably good times!
    Fourth paragraph.  Why is a billionaire a poet.  And IF SO you have to go out of your way to reconcile.  I don't think she did!  Unless she did and I didn't PICK UP on it.  Possible I'm just not a good enough LISTENER.  I'm not good enough a WRITER.  Makes sense I wouldn't be a good enough listener either!  The moral of the story is This Lady Sang At Me for 2 hours and I absorbed none of it!  Is it my responsibility to keep listening to these TWO HOURS OF SONG until I absorb all this crap?  HOW IS TAHT ON ME?  Hmm.  Anyway.  Gotta do something I guess!  Not sure what else I'd should'd be listening to.  Kiss-- Rock N Roll All Nite.  That's one possibility.  Good.  One possibility is all you need.  If it's a good possibility and you fulfill it.  Bing Bang Bong.  Maybe get some Subway delivered tonight.  Subway Sandwiches.  Gonna have to look into that one.  Look into that one hardcore!
   Anyway.  My brother is EXCITED about doing some sort of FILM PROJECT with me.  I don't GET IT EXACTLY.  But it sounds fun.  Some sort of DOC (Short for Documentary).  About Me and Him.  And just us talking about ourselves and our personal lives and OURSELVES And THINGS and STUFF and THINGS.  I think he has unrealistically high expectations of How Good It Will Be And How Easy It Will Be To Make It Good.  But maybe he knows something I don't about Making Weird Things That I Don't Quite Understand As Of Yet.  Seems unrealistic that he knows something I don't.  He knows millions of things I don't in many areas but in terms of Making Entertainment Things, NEH!  That's MORE MY THING AND NOT HIS.  I make entertainment things and put them in front of people all the time!  YOU DON'T JUST DO TEM OFF TEH TOP OF YOUR HEAD AND THEY'RE INSTANT GENIUS.  Unless he knows something I don't.  Maybe he's an Instant Genius.  Pretty sure he's not an Instant Genius.  NO SPOILERS but I've been in talks with My Brother for a while and he's A SMART GUY!  But that's about it.
    Either way it'll be SOMETHING.  I like THINGS IN GENERAL.  Maybe he's a Secret Superstar.  What do I know.  He didn't do a lot of Describing to me of What It Will Be.  "SAD AND FUNNY."  That's the very little bit of Hints he gave me of WHAT IT WILL BE IN TONE.  Hmm.  OKAY.  I can work with that!  Sixth paragraph.  WHAT IN LIFE have I found to be Sad And Funny.  Hmm.  OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD A Clown.  But that's too OBVO an answer.  How about a Scarecrow.  I DON'T UNDERSTAND.  MOVING ON.  Let's see.  FARTS.  I DON'T LIKE IT.  Let's see.  I guess we'll have to find out what SAD AND FUNNY we land on.  WHATIF The SAD AND FUNNY my brother wants is different than the one I wanna give.  Maybe I give him the one he wants anyway?  WHO KNOWS.  What's the Sad and Funny AMERICA WANTS THOUGH.  That's the one we should give!  THAT'S FILM MAKING FOR YOU.  ...SAD.  ...AND FUNNY!  That's may not be the kind of sad and funny my brother wants.  It's not the kind I want either!  I'm just getting it out of my system NOW.
    LOST TRACK of if this make sense.  Seventh paragraph!  Anyway.  What else is going on and crap.  Guess I'll probably just watch a bunch more Brady Bunch tonight.  I don't see any real reason to consider doing anything else.  Today is EARTH DAY.  EARTH gets no love.  For being The Place We All Live On And Depend On EARTH GETS SURPRISINGLY LITTLE LOVE.  AH WELL.  What else is going on.  I assume today was Earth's Birthday.  HOW OLD IS EARTH.  Huh.  122.  What else is going on.  I wonder what the hell is going on in my Brother's Brain exactly.  Now that I think about it I've been taking for granted that At Least He Knows What He's Thinking but it's very possible even he realizes he's winging it!  HE MAY HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE WHAT THE FUCK HE'S TALKING ABOUT.  Looks like it's on MICHAEL to make this Film Project Sad and Funny.  Oh No I Don't Know How To Do Things. ...OR DO I.  Hmm.  Let's see.  Hmm.  Lemme think for a second.  Nope.  Don't know how to do things.  DAMNIT.
    Three paragraphs to go.  WE HAVE NO TRAINING OR EXPERIENCE MAKING A FILM.  Or so it would seem.  We have NO SPECIFIC VISION for the film.  Not to the untrained eye.  Anyway.  I would ASSUME people's first instinct to seeing me or my brother on screen is THEY WANT TO PUNCH US. People had the same reaction to all their favorite movie personalities at first.  Anyway.  Already went through HALF of the Improve 201 class.  FOUR classes.  And it's all been within THREE weeks when you really think about it.  4/1 to 4/22?  That's KIND OF three weeks.  I don't CARE how Math REALLY works.  That's SORT OF THREE WEEKS if you COUNT WEIRDLY ALONG WITH ME.  YEAH.  I actually like the characters of the Brady Bunch.  They're GOOD PEOPLE.  ALSO the character of The ACTORS TOO.  Not just the Brady Bunch characters but THE CHARACTERS OF THE ACTORS.  The actors GIVE AN IMPRESSION of who they really are-- AND I LIKE IT.
    Penultimate paragraph.  JAN.  What is Jan Brady short for.  Just the luck of the draw I guess.  CAROL BRADY KNOWS HER PLACE.  Let's call it like we see it!  Did Mike Brady design the home they live in.  Not sure if they explicitly say.  If so MIKE BRADY KNOWS HIS PLACE backward and forward too.  Anyway.  If anyone ever called his family The Brady Bunch TO HIS FACE, Mike Brady probably would have taken them As Fighting Words.  "You and your Brady Bunch..." WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME!!!  It's CUTE for a TV Sitcom Title but in a different context it's SLANDER.  Anyway.  What's the basis for my Subway Sandwich.  Ugh.  Maybe Teriyaki Chicken.  Ugh.  Not sure I'm happy about this at all.  But there's no better alternative.  That'll have to do the trick I guess!  Hmm.  Maybe I can do Magic Tricks in the Documentary Film.  I don't know any magic tricks.  Fine. I got a week or two to learn some magic tricks then.  This documentary isn't about magic tricks.  It's THE EXACT OPPOSITE.  What's exact the opposite of magic tricks.  I dunno.  NOT ANNOYING PEOPLE.
    Last paragraph!  Let's see.  Wonderful.  If you name your kid Brad Brady would he pronounce his first name wrong.  I WOULD.  I'd pronunce my name "Brayd," if my name was Brad Brady because that's just the kind of guy I'd be in this hypothetical scenario!  What else!  Everything is GROOVY in The Brady Bunch.  I DIG IT.  Not so many things are DUG though.  Not as many things as you'd think!  DUG IN THE GROOVE.  The terms are related!  They're MUSIC VINYL RECORD Related word.  People enjoyed listening to records in the 60's and 70's and records were DUG In The Groove.  I cracked that code.  I CRACKED TEH CODE FOR ALL US.  Whew.  Anyway.  What else is going on and crap.  I feel Groovy is more of a seventies term than a sixties term.  It works for sixties!  But Seventies is where it REALLY shines!  I feel very strongly about this!  I'm not sure why.  I guess I'll see ya tomorrow.

-6:49 P.M.        
        

Thursday, April 18, 2024

Those Were The Days

    Hey!  Time to write an entry.  I don't think it's gonna be any good!  Not gonna be FUNNY.  Won't be entertaining.  If we're lucky It'll Make Sense.  Rewatched the original Curb II Enthusiasm 1 hour special that spawned the series As We Know It this morning.  KIND OF A WEIRD SHOW.  As far as I can tell the point of the show, In Real LifeWorld, was Larry David wanted his Famous Show Business Friends To Say Effusive Nice Things About Him On Television.  That's it!  This is before the public knew who Larry David was.  And the special featured interviews with famous comedians and Hollywood people who Talk Up Larry David and whatknot in interviews to the camera.  So YES it works as a piece of entertainment and whatknot and Good It's Great.  But it's also just Let's Unabashedly Get The Word Out To America On The Genius Of Larry David but the person behind the camera is LARRY DAVID.  Well either way Mission Accomplished I guess!  Worked out for everyone involved more or less!  Well done.
    Huh.  Looks like Quinton Tarentino is DROPPING what was gonna be his last film and may do a NEW Last Film.  For some reason he's limiting himself to Ten Films Overall.  And he's already made nine.  Anyway.  ALRIGHT.  Now whatever his NEW LAST FILM will be MAY INCLUDE ME.  I'M BACK IN THE MIX IS THE POINT.  Just watched the trailer for the new M Night Shaymalan movie.  Looks good.  If the twist to this one is that It Includes Me I WILL BE KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT.  I DID NOT SEE THAT ONE COMING. I don't remember participating in the making of this movie at all but I guess there could be an explanation for anything I suppose.  I had TACO BELL for lunch today.  Wasn't great.  Was room temperature.  The taco I had that was Potatoe and Bean based was kinda gross.  ALL IN ALL it was a bust.  Anyway.  Picked up with putting on some more Brady Bunch episodes.  Not bad!  It's a decent thing to put on in the background.  I don't know any REAL HUMANS who act like any of these people but that's fine!
   Looks like the Kennedy Family came out EN MASSE to throw their support for Biden.  Looks like I should start gathering my family for a press conference.  IS FOUR A BIG ENOUGH NUMBER FOR A PRESS CONFERENCE.  I dunno if people care about FOUR.  Now if My Family was SEVEN STRONG, that's press conference worthy.  WHAT?  A FAMILY OF EIGHT SUPPORTS BIDEN?  WHAT A SCOOP!  But anyway you get the idea.  I looked at myself in the mirror last night for the first time in months which was good because I Wanna Get A Haircut and if you get a haircut after 9 months of Not Getting A Haircut THAT HAIRCUT IS A BIG COMMITMENT.  You're gonna wanna Look At That There Mirror before getting that haircut!  Anyway.  It's the right move I think!  They should ask Republican Senator John Kennedy who HE supports for president.  And then when he says Donald Trump they'll be like WHAAAAA.  Or maybe that SHOULDN'T happen.  Now that I think about it I think I'm leaning towards maybe that shouldn't happen!
   I have to change a lightbulb in my bathroom this evening.  We're talking straight up SOON.  Let's say Oh I Don't Know TWO HOURS OR SO from now.  Anyway.  Got a few days off from writing Wesbite after today.  This week was the shittiest week of website EVER!! and/or in about three months.  Three months sounds more accurate.  But it's possible that this week is even shittier than those shitty weeks Three Months Ago!  Looks like there's a new Tailored Swift album coming out.  I've listened to ONE Taylor Swift album Back To Front!  It's called SPEAK NOW and I'm not sure why That and Not Others.  That's just the way My Life Crumbled!  What were my favorite Tracks.  Hmm.  Get off my back about it.  That's a good song title.  Get Off My Back About It.  What else is up.  I liked the titular track.  Real tubular.  What is the definition of Tubular.  Hold on.  I have a dictionary.  I bet the definition is in the dictionary.  LONG, ROUND, AND HOLLOW LIKE A TUBE.  Nailed It!
    Fifth paragraph.  Is the tube in youtube a VERB or a NOUN.  I think noun is more likely.  But it's definitely not an open an shut case!  Anyway what else is up.  The way Television Sets Work is because of TUBULAR Things.  TUBULAR.  That's how I would use Tubular in a sentence.  Also that's not accurate with Smart TV.  But that's how I imagine OLD SCHOOL TVs.  You open up an old school TV, I IMAGINE SOME TUBES IN THERE!!!  What do I know though.  Not A Lot!  THAT WAS TEH 20TH CENTURY.  THE WORLD RAN ON TUBES OR SOMETHING I DUNNO.  Listened to some HOLE MUSIC the last couple of days.  NOT BAD.  I enjoy it!  MOST OF IT I enjoy halfway and some of it I ENJOY MOSTWAY.  All in all there's nothing wrong with what I get out of it!  I'm 50% sure I remember a plotline in The Brady Bunch where Mike's ex and Carol's Ex meet and they become an item.  It occurred to me now idly as a joke and as soon as it did I felt ACTUALLY THAT PROBABLY HAPPENED.
   Halfway through the act!  If that happened WHO THE HELL ARE THE KIDS' PARENTS.  It's CHAOS for the kids.  THEY HAEV NO TRUE PARENTS.  They go from having TWO TRUE GOOD PARENTS to Having NOT FOUR Good Parents But ZERO good parents.  It doesn't ADD to their Situation but DETRACT.  SUDDENLY NOTHING MEANS ANYTHING.  Huh.  WHAT ELSE is up.  ALSO I assume each matching set of kids forms a relationship with each other.  JUST FOR BALANCE.  What else is up.  Let's see.  The point is I got an Improvement Class coming up in a few days.  WHAT CAN I DO to do well in that class!  I don't know if there's any thing I can do.  I'm pretty sure all I can do is Nothing!  Just resign myself to Showing Up And Performing Mediocrly in life.  AH WELL.  Maybe every time I perform Mediocrly I get incrementally better??  Sure!  Real incrementally!  Incrementally like you wouldn't believe!  Nobody ever seen Increments like this before! 
   Seventh paragraph!  I don't believe it!  Pretty sure Alice is a lesbian.  SURE I know later on there's a character named SAM THE BUTCHER.  But let's put that aside for now.  PUTTING THAT ASIDE, Alice is probably gay!  I dunno.  TO BE FAIR I don't know what people looked like in 1969.  BUT if I saw a woman like that today I'D PROBABLY GUESS THAT'D BE A GAY WOMAN.  To be fair, Carol is gay, too.  Marcia and Jan wouldn't be a complete shock, either!  EVERYONE IS GAY.  WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY.  WHAT ELSE CAN I BE.  ALL APOLOGIES.  Kurt Cobain sure gave lots of signs of being pro-Homosexuality without To My Impression displaying any signs of actually being homosexual.  Really makes ya think.  What's going on there!  I'd like to get to the bottom of that once and for all.  And then move on with my life.  Because of the, "And For All," part.  I got to the bottom of it For Once!  And that was For All!  RIGHT.
   Three paragraphs to go!  Jury Doody.  What does that accomplish exactly.  Well, it doesn't UN-accomplish anything.  It's not like by saying Jury Doody I DETRACT from anything.  What else is going on.  Having a rare SECOND BEER right now with the entry.  I had NO BEER yesterday.  So that's why I feel open to having a second one today.  That's a good story.  I gotta remember htat one for the future! Who knows when it May Come Up Again.  Let's see.  I was just trying to picture Kurt Cobain but my mind was giving me Mitch Hedberg instead.  I think I was watching Mitch Hedberg a week or so ago on Youtube and was pretty sure it was an AI COPYCAT because it seemed shitty.  ALSO I WAS HIGH that was an important part of the story.  ME BEING HIGH is an important part to MANY OF MY STORIES.  Huh.  Good night.  Sleep tight.  Don't let Mitch Hedbergs Bite.  Huh.
   Penultimate paragraph.  Why do people say don't let the bedbugs bite.  I really have VERY LITTLE choice in the matter.  What else is going on.  How come there's no Jury For Me.  I think there should be A JURY FOR MY LIFE.  I have been accused of no crime.  Hmm.  THEN EXPLAIN MY LIFE SENTENCE OF HOME CONFINEMENT.  Bad luck?  Oh okay that's good.  Let's see.  Anyway.  IF there was a jury for my life they would NOT have to worry about their own lives.  VERY low chance that I would have them killed if they voted against me.  JUST NOT MY STYLE!  Anyway.  They should have GROUP lunch breaks in Court.  Imagine the judge and jury and lawyers and spectators ALL eating Chinese ALL TOGETHER and whatknot.  WHAT A BONDING EXPERIENCE.  I want to go to court now.  Or MORE ACCURATELY I want to eat General Tso's Chicken now.  Huh.  WHAT DOES DONALD TRAMP EAT from different kinds of places.  What would be his GO TO from Chinese Take Out.  WE DON'T KNOW!! Maybe we'll FIND OUT!!
    Last paragraph.  I wonder what we'll find out from This Trial.  Gonna be a lot of Talking over the course of several weeks or a couple of months.  INFORMATION IS CONVEYED when people talk.  THUS we will FIND THINGS OUT over the course of the trial.  Hmm interesting very interesting.  Anyway.  Wouldn't be shocked if ONE WAY OR THE OTHER Trump wants a dish to show up on a restaurant Trump Chicken.  To commemorate his success on the world stage.  Off the top of my head most likely it'll be Outback Steakhouse in about 15-20 years.  And it'll be disgusting.  Anyway.  That's the week for ya.  What are good meals from Outback Steakhouse.  The bread.  The shrimp.  The baby back ribs.  The steak.  The ribs.  Probably got some desserts.  Sides.  I like the devices they hand out when you wait for your table.  You go there and you have to wait for a table?  They give you an electronic device that you can carry with you while you leave the establishment!  You can walk away and then it beeps when they're ready for you!  ELECTRICITY AT WORK.  Anyway I'll see ya later.

-6:27 P.M.     
    
            
    
   
    
  

Wednesday, April 17, 2024

I Was Gonna Do That Anyway

    Hey!  I don't mean to blow anyone's mind, but it's possible today's entry will be GOOD!  I dunno!  I don't think I'm going to explicitly TRY to write a quality entry!  That wouldn't be within the SPIRIT of the website.  We'll just take it as it comes, I guess.  Anyway.  Gonna get a haircut this weekend I BELIEVE.  I dunno what's gonna happen to the hair.  End up in a landfill or something.  Maybe it'll get burnt and EVAPORATE.  It's possible someone will eat it!  Three or four times over the last month, I woke up while trying to fall asleep with headhair in my mouth!  Somehow in the process of settling into slumber, somewhere along the line my hair gets in my mouth!  I DON'T LIKE IT.  I could SWALLOW IT!  You don't want hair in your stomach.  It's just gonna stay there!  That's not good AESTHETICALLY.  Just clunking everything UP.  Also if enough hair clumps together now you got a foreign object.  Oh no!  HOW BEZOAR.    
   Let's see.  Got chicken pot pie for dinner tonight.  Delectable!  Court Cases have WEDNESDAYS OFF it turns out!  I ASSUME because judges want to watch South Park.  It airs Wednesdays at 10:00 PM per my memory.  Huh.  Gonna assume the original Addams' Family was aired on Wednesdays.  So the name of the character was A FUN JOKE.  Looks like the premiere episode of Original Adam Family was a Friday.  So I guess I DON'T KNOW what was funny about The Adams Family.  Is there a plotline in the Adams family where John Adams of Presidents Fame is actually One Of Them?  My guess?  I Doubt It!  They can't get the rights to John Adams.  Or something.  I dunno.  Let's get the Bush Family ON THE SPOT of who they support for presidency 2024.  WHY NOT.  Do people care?  Not Really.  Is it uncomfortable for them?  Probably.  SO LET'S DO IT.  MAKE EM SAY OUT LOUD WHAT THEY FEEL INSIDE.  Whatever that is.  I thought I knew but I don't now that I think about it.  I was joking but now the moods all changed.  Are there any W HEADS out there.  Gotta be a couple of people who are like IF HE'S ON BOARD WITH BIDEN THAT'S ENOUGH FOR ME.  There's A Couple Of Morons Out There FOR ANYTHING UNDER THE SUN.  Maybe W is on board with Trump though.  Who knows!  Not me!
   W HEAD?  WHEAD?  NOW you've got my attention!  What else is going on.  With this ring, I thee whead!  I'm not sure how to pronounce ANY of these Words!  I bought my fair share of RING POPS when I was a kid. It's the candy where it's a plastic ring you wear on your finger with a sucking candy on it.  Not sure what that accomplishes.  It's sucking candy but you get the fun of pretending you're sucking something you shouldn't be!  COMPOUNDED BY being wasteful and bad for the environment!  C'mon, man!  Everything's bad for the environment when you think about it!  What ISN'T bad for the environment.  Hmm.  MORE environment.  If I can build a machine that increases the amount of environment, that'd be good.  Hmm.  Probably would end up destroying the environment completely just trying to build the machine.  Not worth it!  I just can't win!  Let's see.  What if the environment really sucks.  We take for granted The Environment Is Good And Worth Protecting And Serving.  WHAT IF THE ENVIRONMENT IS A STRAIGHT UP ASSHOLE.  Then we should reassess our relationship I guess!
    Fourth paragraph!  Everything I know about the environment says IT'S GREAT.  From what I've seen and observed, the environment is FINE.  And from what I've read and heard about, environment is EVEN BETTER.  All signs point to The Environment Being WONDERFUL.  Absolutely no reason to believe otherwise.  Anyway.  Watched the first 3 or 4 BRADY BUNCH episodes a couple of days ago.  Great!  This is what the 1970's were like Is What I Always Thought Whenever I Saw This Show As A Kid!  Did I still feel that way WATCHING IT NOW?  I WOULD HAVE EXCEPT FOR KNOWING THAT THE EPISODES I JUST WATCHED WERE BROADCAST IN 1969.  Knowing that CHANGED EVERYTHING.  Now I don't know WHAT THE HELL this show is supposed to be.  It's a story.  About a man named Brady.  And a... very lovely girl... all of them had hair of boys... just like their brothers... the Brady Bunch...  You get the idea.  Anyway.  Interested in looking up Rankings of Brandy Bunch characters.  Not LITERAL, "Interest."  Just IDLE, "Interest."  You know what I mean!   
   Wow.  I always felt like The Brady Bunch movies from the 1990's were a Big Revival and they were probably framed that way but, C'mon, they weren't THAT MUCH after the series ended.  If the movies came out JUST A FEW YEARS EARLIER it would just be Hey there's a new Brady Bunch FILM now but it's with a new cast AS A FILM and it's appropriately a bit more updated to the times but it's pretty much just the same thing we remember from before AS LITTLE TIME HAS PASSED.  THINK ABOUT IT.  Well, maybe you already thought about it appropriately while you were reading it.  In which case, I dunno, what else is there to do!  MOVE ON WITH OUR LIVES.  When they met each other were Mike and Carol attracted to each other's Offspring Situation SEXUALLY.  I think we have to assume so.  Wha.  You have Three Same Gendered Kids Too.  That's hot.  Because it's just like them.  Things you can relate to are ATTRACTIVE.  We look for PATTERNS as humans.  THAT'S WHAT GETS US OFF.  I KNOW HOW THINGS WORK.
   Halfway through the act.  They weren't attracted TO the kids.  They were attracted to THE PARENT.  But the IDEA of the Parent HAVING the kids WAS SCORCHING.  Put yourself in THEIR shoes.  Huh. Now I AM imagining YOU Putting Yourself In MY Shoes Coming Up With This Joke.  And You Being Like Hmm Michael Must Be Really WEIRD AND STUPID To Come Up With THAT Kind Of Nonsense Riff.  Probably.  Anyway.  WHAT THE HELL is Alice's inner monologue.  "I'm A Weirdo!"  WHO IS THIS PERSON.  I mean it makes sense NOW.  She says some sly remark and Mike and Carol go That's Alice being Alice.  But what was Alice's ORIGIN STORY.  How did her relationship to that family BECOME that.  At first glance it seems perfectly normal and natural.  She's a competent maid and butler and a congenial wise cracking person.  But at the same time SHE'S AS A RULE disrespectful to her host family.  That's her BASE.  She WILL be a dick every single chance she gets.  WHY!
     Four paragraphs to go.  Why do we need Alice.  When they pitched the Brady Bunch, I imagine they originally didn't have Alice, and they were like, HMM, it's good, but WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH CHARACTERS YET...  Maybe.  Anyway.  The Brady Brunch.  Could that be a thing.  Hmm.  Not sure I've ever had Brunch in my entire life.  Probably should at some point.  It's one of those things we should do before we're too old.  In the Simpsons when a Character describes Brunch he says it comes with a slice of Cantaloupe at the end which TURNS ME OFF.  Otherwise Brunch sounds nice but the Cantaloupe makes it sound BAD.  I AM NOT A FAN OF FRUITS except for fruit juice which half the time can be delightful and half the time I'M NOT A FAN OF IT EITHER.   Hey Michael are you able to Sudden Secret Runaway Wedding right now?  NOPE CANTALOUPE.  Oh that's too bad.  THAT'S OKAY I WASN'T SURE I WANTED TO ANYWAY.  Huh.   
    Eighth paragraph.  I guess the last season of Brady Bunch was 74 and The First Film was 95.  That's TWENTY ONE YEARS.  If they made a film of a sitcom that ended in 2003 now WHAT WOULD YOU THINK ABOUT THAT.  Well we'd need A Lots More Contexts that's for sure.  The important thing is who cares why did I have to go back to that, I made my point JUST FINE.  Let's see.  There's lots of shows I've never seen that I will eventually see IF AND ONLY IF they make a movie about it.  Huh.  That's an interesting sentence.  IF THEY MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT SOMETHING I'M MUCH MORE LIKELY TO SEE ABOUT IT.  Breaking News Flash Right There!  Found an SNL Channel on my Smart TV.  NORMALLY when I turn on my TV it's on an CONAN O BRIAN channel automatically for some reason.  Where it's clips from Conan O Brian TBS show.  NOW I inadvertently found an analogous channel where it clips from SNL.  AMAZING.  So far I've enjoyed it to some extent.  The characters.  The plots.  The jokes.  Can't really go wrong.  I get the premises in general I feel.  More or less!
    Penultimate paragraph!  What else is up.  I wonder if Artificial Intelligence can write comedy.  What do you get when you add AI to SNL.  SNAIL.  What else is going on.  I'LL BE HERE ALL EVENING.  Actually I'll be gone for a good portion of it.  In fact I won't be here for most of it.  Once I'm done with the entry I'm GONE.  I think asking if Artificial Intelligence Can Write Comedy is the wrong question.  What I wanna know is can Artificial Intelligence UNDERSTAND comedy.  I guess.  I don't REALLY wanna know that.  I don't really wanna know ANYTHING.  I just want THIS TO END really.  That's all anyone wants.  Huh.  It's hard for me to get excited about the, "IT," SNL sketch of the moment The Beevis and Butthead sketch because I REMEMBER the sketch from Years Ago that was The Same Sketch with Bart Simpson.  WHERE'S MY MEDAL FOR WATCHING TV.  I WAS watching SNL before it was cool.  And I will continue watching things while being uncool FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES.
    Last paragraph.  Watching the SNL channel really drives the point home that the writers are NOT AFRAID of Not Being Funny!  LOVE IT.  VERY BRAVE stance for comedy writers to take and I'm 100% on board and relate fully.  Lots of eras of SNL seems like the writers want to entertain Themselves More Than Their Audiences.  HOW do I know what They Themselves Find Funny And What They Them Audiences Would Supposedly Find Funny?  I DUNNO!  Well I got clues.  There's a LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.  I know when they don't find something funny because NO LAUGHS.  And I know when the Writers think something is funny becuase THEY LEFT IT IN TEH SKETCH.  They must think it's FUNNY ENOUGH OR SOMETING.  Anyway.  YOU PICK THINGS UP HERE OR THERE is the point.  What else is up.  Entry is over!  I guess!  I dunno.  I wrote this and I don't think this is funny so just because I wrote it and left it in doesn't mean it's an endorsement of its quality!  THINGS ARE TRICKIER THAN THEY MAY SEEM.  I'll see ya tomorrow!

-5:11 P.M. 

Tuesday, April 16, 2024

Definitely Worth Skipping

    Hey, friends!  Tuesday!  Reasonable chance this will be a good entry!  Took care of some laundry today.  Brought it in to laundromat.  Took it back from laundromat.  Anyway.  Just got a good idea for a business-- Laundromat that isn't a laundromat but launders money in the SLANG sense.  So my big idea is to COMMIT CRIMES.  Well, yes, but for profit!  Not out of being a sociopath.  It's because I want to benefit FINANCIALLY, so IT'S OKAY.  Ah okay Makes Sense!  Anyway.  Watched the Jack Black Gulliver's Travels last night for I'm Gonna Say The Second Time Overall.  Not exactly sure why that had to be a movie.  I think different parts of it had to be things for different reasons.  MOST OF ALL it had to be a thing to make money.  But that's in a MACRO sense.  If we look at it as separate components then we see Why It Had To Exist For Completely Unique Reasons.  Ah What The Opening Ten Minute Accomplishes is different and separate than what the middle thirty minutes achieves.  BUT IT MAKES JACK BLACK MONEY as well as the studio money AS WELL AS whoever wrote Gulliver's Travels I wanna say Jonathon Swift.  He must be rolling over in his Grave IN A GOOD WAY.  Rolling Over Coffin!  Revolving Coffin!  Massaging coffin.
   When you're dead your back gets real tense!  Really stiffens up!  The point is did I enjoy watching that film?  Neh!  I'm gonna employ the very rarely used word Neh.  This is exactly where it belongs!  Started rewatching Tenacious D: The MAX Show.  I wonder how my framing of watching that show was influenced by hearing the Songs first before seeing them.  BY WHICH I don't mean hearing the regular Tenacious D songs we all know and love, although that applies.  I mean actually having listened to the random songs that don't make it past the oeuvre past the MAX Show.  I had even heard THOSE songs first before seeing the show. And this happened AS I WAS DEVELOPING my love of MUSIC AND COMEDY.  THE SONG IS WHAT'S IMPORTANT.  The context is secondary.  Having These songs exist OUTSIDE the context of The Tenacious D Television Show Narrative and knowing them As Song first before actually seeing the TV Show Plot?  THIS.  Changed.  EVERYTHING?  Possibly!  Not even just about listening to those songs.  Possibly about my experience listening to TENACIOUS D IN GENERAL.  POSSIBLY about how I absorbed music and/or comedy COMPLETELY.  BASICALLY MY POINT IS BECAUSE I listened to, "Tenacious D: Angel In Disguise," many times on my mp3 Player before actually seeing the titular episode My Entire Life Is Completely Different Than It Would Have Been.  On the other hand maybe I watched the TV show first.  THAT'S ALSO POSSIBLE. 
    Ok.  [EDITOR'S NOTE-- I Have No Idea What I'm Talking About Around Preceding and Proceeding This Editor's note!  YOU ARE NOT ALONE.] Let's go with I Did The Unique Thing In My Life.  That's fun!  Might as well Default on THAT being my life story.  WHY NOT.  Also I THINK it's accurate.  I listened to "Tenacious D: With Karate I'll Kick Your Ass" all the time before seeing the episode.  That's the ALT Title.  SAME SONG.  ALT TITLE!  See the episode!  Ya'll see what I mean!  Got a delicious Hearty Soup for dinner tonight.  Grandma's Soup.  I bet!  I don't know how Jack Black manages to pull off being Obese looking like being slightly overweight.  ALSO being a once in a generation comedic actor.  BUT MAINLY the Carrying His Weight Well Thing.  VERY impressive.  Boy you're gonna carry that weight a long time.  WHAT DO YOU KNOW about that weight.  Or about how long I'll carry it.  YOU DON'T KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME.  About THAT WEIGHT.  About HOW LONG I'LL CARRY IT.  You know NOTHING about this situation.  The Beatles get a lot right in their lyrics but they are getting it WAY WRONG in this song.
    Ugh.  Fourth paragraph!  I wonder if I'd be a good actor based on my Improvisation Training.  I bet I would be.  I've got hours and hours of practice of Saying Things I Don't Mean.  AND that's just based on my time in therapy!  Hmm.  That's what therapy OFT is.  How are you doing.  "FINE."  At least SIXTY percent of therapy responses over the years is I'M DOING FINE.  Huh.  I am Fine a lot of the time!  YEAH But IRONICALLY I'm fine when I say I'm NOT fine and I'm NOT FINE when I AM FINE. ...YEAH.  This is very hard to follow.  This website.  There's regular font, there's italics, there's quotations, there's in caps... I don't know WHO I AM, or WHEN I'M TALKING TO MYSELF, or WHEN I'M BEING FACETIOUS... NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE.  I don't know how to read this at all!  Ah well that'll happen on occasion.  You all know the app FACETIME? You all know the word FACETIOUS? ...YOU SEE WHERE THIS IS GOIN?
   Fifth paragrpah!  FACETIOUS D.  THAT'S where I was going.  WHY are coffins necessary.  What do they accomplish other than just dumping a person in a hole.  While we're at it what does the hole accomplish.  Well ya gotta do SOMETHING with the person.  The hole accomplishes something.  WE NEED THE HOLE.  The coffin though is redundant!  Anyway.  What does the band Hole accomplish.  I'm not sure I've ever heard a songle Hole Sing!  Maybe THAT'S ON ME though.  I'd like to think Courtney Love would think I'm cool.  Closest thing we have to an Arbiter of Cool we've got!  Which is ironic because WHY.  I'm not sure why.  Someone's gotta do it!  Whatever.  Close to being halfway done with the entry!  Then I get to... write another half of the entry!  Hole is an okay band name but I think Courtney Love would be an even better band name IF we didn't already know it was already a regular name.
    Yeah!  Are we SURE it's a regular name?  Seems like it'd be a cool name to make up now that I think about it!  I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT BEFORE.  WHAT A FOOL I'VE BEEN.  How come I've given Courtney Love no credit for her great name.  WHAT AN IDIOT.  ALRIGHT I LTURQ AND Her name is TRULY COURTNEY but Love seems to have been an affectation.  HMM.  TO COURT LOVE is a thing.  I guess.  LOOK I'M DONE WITH COURTNEY LOVE I GUESS.  I've, "GONE TEHRE," as much as I please to!  If you thuoght Kurt Cobain came up with the name Courtney Love you'd be like WOW THAT'S THE GREATEST NAME ANYONE EVER CAME UP WIT.  Because YOU LOVE Kurt Cobain.  YOU COURT HIS LOVE.  Ugh.  Close enough at least.  What else is going on.  Look Kurt Cobain didn't come up with Courtney Love but IF I KNOW KURT COBAIN LIKE I THINK I DO I bet Kurt Cobain LIKED LOVING A GIRL NAMED, "Courtney Love."  Assuming HE KNEW SHE WAS NAMED THAT at the time.  What THE HELL is going on.
    Seventh paragraph.  Courtly Love!  That's what I was trying to think of.  It's a phrase!  I DIDN'T COME UP WITH IT.  SHE DID and/or Universe Did.  Anyway.  Kurt Cobain's initials are KAKA.  He's FULL OF SHIT.  I bet Courtney Love liked that.  Cause she's I DON'T KNOW WHAT.  His initials are MORE ACCURATELY Kirko.  Not sure WHAT that makes him.  Either way that's HIS BUSINESS not mine.  Well he's dead now.  So I guess it's MY BUSINESS.  It's gotta be SOMEONE'S BUSINESS.  No one else claimed it!  Might as well be mine.  I don't WANT IT though.  AM I CRAZY?? Who wouldn't want KURT COBAIN'S INITIALS?!?!   OF COURSE I'D WANT THAT!!  What else is going on.  Let's see.  Start a band called WHOLE and the first album is called See What Happens.  The answer to the question is NOTHING.  That's great.  I don't know.  That's What Goes On In My Mind, Though!
    Three Paragraphs To Go!  Delicious Soup coming up.  It comes with rye bread which is delicious but I have delicious Heartier ROLL from two days ago which is even heartier!  Basically life is Hearty if not great!  Whose the modern day Courtney Love.  Sounds like Courtney Love to me.  Whose the Yestereryear Courtney Love.  Gonna stick with Courtney Love.  HOW ABOUT THE FUTYRE Courtney Love.  Hard to say.  Don't have enough input yet to be able to say.  What else is up.  Let's see.  I lost track of what I was talking about.  I was pretty sure I was talking about Courtney Love and then something else.  But WHAT was the Something Else.  Coulda been practically anything!  Would Courtney Love think this entry was COOL.  Practically definitely NOT.  Odds are astronomically low she'd be like Yeah, actually, that was DOPE.  I would not count on it.  Hmm.  Does Courtney Love think Courtney Love is cool.  Probably not.
    Penultimate paragraph.  Bad thing(s) have happened to Courtney Love!  It's sad!  Much love.  More love than there was at birth at least.  LESS HARRISON though.  Huh.  What else is going on.  Birth name was Harrison.  Could you INTUIT that?  I dunno.  You can't INTUIT SHIT.  What else is going on.  Hard To Read! -- Random Reviewer Of Website.  That's my assumption of the presumptive takeaway from Reading This Website.  Maybe it's easier to read than I think.  You're on the journey with me!  SOMEHOW every turn I take YOU MANAGE TO TAKE WITH ME.  I dunno HOW you do it.  But you do!  AMAZING.  What else is up.  ALSO I manage to READ WITH YOU ON YOUR JOURNEY WHLIE I'M WRITING THE ENTRY.  You're reading it one way and think I'm being Obliviously Stupid About Something but Guess what I'M 10% MORE SELF AWARE THAN YOU'D THINK!  So that's good.  Huh.  I guess I have to write one more paragraph.  I guess a lot of things!
    Amazing.  Courtney Love WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP with KURT COBAIN of the band NIRVANA from the 1990's.  Well that's good I guess.  Almost done with the entry.  Not sure what today accomplished.  VERY possible that tomorrow will be better than today, though!  I remember the 1990's.  Very formative decade for me.  It's from when I was The 1's of Ages.  I TURNED THE 1's in December of 1989!  Fascinating!  The important thing is WHAT IF There was someone a magnitude Courtney Lovier than Courtney Love and was like Courtney Love ain't Cool.  HOW WOULD THAT MAKE COURTNEY LOVE FEEL.  We don't know because we can't even contemplate such a scenario.  Hmm.  I dunno.  SURE I only see Courtney Love through Male Gaze.  I don't get Courtney Love the way Courtney Love should be Get.  I get it!  SUCH is life!  Anyway.  That'll do it for today.  I'll see ya tomorry!

-5:12 P.M.       

Monday, April 15, 2024

Am I Writing This Or Are You Reading This

    Hey!  Let's compromise and say YOU ARE WRITING THIS.  Or perhaps I am Reading this.  Let's go with that as a blanket statement for What's Happening Right Now.  I AM READING THIS.  It's even true if it's YOU.  YOU are an, "I."  SOMETIMES when people say, "I," the, "I," refers to YOU.  I MEAN IT.  ...Huh.  Speak aloud.  "I Am Reading This."  At first glance the I is me but once you speak now suddenly we're talking YOU.  I think I've made my point.   Unless none of this makes sense.  ANYWAY.  I was MERE A MILE OR TWO away from MUCH TALKED ABOUT EX PRESIDENT Donald Trump today!  He was in Downtown COURTH Ouse while I was in Improvement Class.  Couldn't have been more than 2 miles apart!  Who was judged more today?  I don't know!  He was the one ON TRIAL but based on how I performed in class today maybe I should have been!  I did poorly!  Not happy about it!  HOWEVER I think I performed well socially in pretending to not be fazed by doing poorly at improv.  Because IN MY HEAD the main thing OTHER PEOPLE WERE TINKING OF was Michael is doing really bad at improv today BUT HE'S HANDLING IT VERY WELL.  That's the headline for today!
   What does that mean.  "Performing well Socially."  I didn't have ANY conversations with people to betray one way or another how I might feel about my In Class Performance!  You know...  Who I made eye contact with and how I did or didn't do it.  HOW I employed eye contact and BODY LANGUAGE.  THAT'S how I conveyed I'M TOTALLY GREAT with being terrible at Improve Class today.  Anyway.  Donald Trump might be our Ex President but who is our X President.  Roman Numeralwise.  I'm gonna guess HARRISON.  JOHN TYLER.  We had a president named, "Tyler!"  He was THE ORIGINAL Fight Club!  Possible Tyler Durden was based around Your Favorite President American President X.  Huh.  Tyler ended up helping create the Confederacy.  Well no wonder he's not part of our history.  He ended up choosing the wrong dog in that fight Later On!  FUCK THAT GUY.  If it weren't for that, American History would be all TYLER THIS, TYLER THAT.  Hmm. 
   When you imagine Tyler Durden after watching Fight Club (1999) I guess we're supposed to imagine Brad Pitt but at some point after having lived with Having Seen The Movie Enough we reach a level where we accurately realize we're picturing Edward Norton.  NO SPOILERS.  That's NOTHING BUT Spoiler.  It's a spoiler masquerading as a comment or analysis.  When in fact it's just me SPOILING THE MOVIE FOR YOU.  Enjoy!  Why do you have First Rules Of Fight Clubs and whatknot.  THESE GUYS AREN'T KNOWN TO FOLLOW RULES.  They're CRAZY have you seen these people?  They fight each other for no good reason at all!  Just for the blood lust and for the fun of it!  YOU TINK THEY'RE Gonna follow your rules even if you double up on the rules repeating them multiple times for emphasis?  You must be even crazier than you think you are!  Civil War was the original Fight Club.  There we go.  That's the button for that paragraph.  Hmm.  Probably belonged in the last paragraph.  Ah well!
    Fourth paragraph!  Interested in seeing this new film Civil War.  I hear it's about War Journalists.  I consume a lot of journalismtainment.  Seems like that film would be right up my alley!  I'm gonna be really upset if MY SIDE doesn't win in Civil War.  We can determine my side by GEOGRAPHY.  Case closed.  Kinda would like my side to be MAGNANIMOUS in victory.  Whatever!  If Civil War is a Big Enough Movie, is it possible that further generations will FORGET about American Civil War (1860-1865) and confuse it With This Film?  PROBABLY NOT.  WE didn't have that problem when the Marvel Cinematic Universe Film with Civil War In The Title occurred.  So WHY should it be an issue now!  Anyway.  Started watching the Curb Your Enthusiasm Podcast on television.  Hosted by Jeff Garlin and Susie Essman.  Something's OFF about it.  Can't QUITE put my finger on it.  Jeff Garlin isn't QUITE Jeff Garliny enough.  I KNOW who Jeff Garlin is based in 3-4 cumulative hours of podcast experiences.  I THINK he should be 15% more Jeff Garliny in these podcasts!  Something's WRONG.
    Fifth paragraph.  Susie Essman.  Checks out!  She's got a lot of, "S's," in her name.  She is QUITE The, "S," WOMAN.  What I DON'T GET IS is Larry David Larry David or not.  They go back and forth by saying YES when Larry does that in the episode THAT'S THE REAL LARRY DAVID TO A T and then they'll also go You gotta remember LARRY DAVID IS ABSOLUTELY NOTIHNG LIKE who that guy up on the screen is!  PICK A LANE.  Either you are who you are or you aren't who the guy you are is!  I guess.  If I had to pick a lane I would either pick PENNY or BOWLING.  IMPROV CHOPS COMING UP!!!  Hmm.  Anyone whose watched Family Fued could write that sentence.  WRONG.  Gotta pay thousands of dollars in Improvement Class Fees to be able to come up with it.  JOHN MC.  Okay.  Let's play Family Fued with myself ON THE INTERNET.  MC Mike.  That's a good MC name for me.  Gotta write that down in case I forget.  Ugh.
    Halfway through the act.  I guess!  Tomorrow has a good shot at being a good entry.  Today was a bad entry.  So you'd ASSUME tomorrow would be a good entry.  Makes sense.  What else is going on.  Middle of April.  Tax Day.  ...T Rex.  Any kind of anagram I can make out of Tax Day into T Rex?  Nah.  Doesn't look like it.  THERE'S NO, "E."  OH NO.  There's, "E," out there in the world.  Just not in the phrase, "Tax Day."  Okay!  Looks like they are figuring out the jury for Trump Trial #1: Hush Money Election Interference Case To Remember.  If I was called into jury duty for the case WOULD I VOLUNTEER my bias when asked?  Probably!  It'd be THE LEGAL thing to do! I privately hate this guy!  Am I able to determine his innocence or guilt on the case at hand indeterminate of How I Already Feel based on the person in general and what I think I already know about the case from The News?  I THINK I am but JUST TO PLAY IT SAFE probably should vacate my Jury Seat to someone who DEFINITELY has no bias.  BECAUSE I'M A GREAT PERSON.  But on the other hand what if an IDIOT takes my place.  Do I want that on my conscience.
    Seventh paragraph.  I don't want ANYTING on my conscience. It's ALWAYS BAD things on your conscience.  Never anyone walking around with some great things to be proud of weighing them down.  It's never I DID SOMETHING GREAT IN MY LIFE AT SOME POINT AND IT'S ON MY CONSCIENCE NOW FOR THE REST OF TIME.  Maybe there is I dunno.  I want to see CLIPS of Pauly Shore movie Jury Duty and I wanna see them NOW.  Is society ever gonna realize MAYBE WE WERE WRONG ON PAULY SHORE?  MAYBE HE WAS GOOD?  It's possible.  Anyway.  OJ Simpson was famous TV Court Taker and then now he died.  Now we got A NEW Famous Court Taker.  Really makes ya think.  Trump Court ain't on TV.  Not yet!  Either way I dunno.  How close ewas Trump's Courtcase to my high school.  Musta been within a Single Mile Radius.  And anyway the point of that is LAY OFF because I FELL ASLEEP DURING CLASS ALL THE TIME AS WELL.  AND My future was ON TEH LINE as well.  I dunno what kind of ramifications he may or may not face.  But FOR ME GOING TO BINGHAMTON OR NOT was at stake.
    Huh.  Three paragraphs to go!  Wonderful.  Any other American Presidents That It Turned Out Were Pro Confederacy besides Tyler?  Nope.  Looks like that was it!  I HIT UPON the biggest secret in American History.  There was that One President who it turnt out later on was a Traitor.  Until NOW There Was That One.  At least Trump fans can rejoice in knowing Trump has Traitorous company in American History I guess!  JOHN TYLER IS THE FEEL GOOD STORY OF THE YEAR.  So that's good I guess.  How come Union States don't think back on all the good times we had when we were The Union.  If Southern states can have fun cosplaying as Confederacy HOW COME we never have fun reminiscing about the days of yore being THE UNION.  Because it was just America.  We are what it was.  I dunno!  I think there's more to it than that!  I think we should blow ourselves in regards to Being Who We Were in 1861!  It just Makes Sense.
    Penultimate paragraph.  Got some Western Omelet to eat for dinner tonight.  Things could be worse!  I think Western Omelet is an American thing.  Sounds like it means WESTERN (AMERICAN WEST) to me.  That's the context for WEST I get!  Either that or Herbert West from ReAnimator.  I guess!  They'd like this kind of Omelet in THE ROCKIES for example.  Ham and onion.  They'd like that in Colorado.  I dunno WHY but it's pretty clear that's the case.  What about Eastern Omelet.  Eastern Omelet only exists in context of and relation to Western Omelet.  Oh OK Good.  Northern Omelet.  Southern Omelet.  These things must exist in diners somewhere and I'd like to know what they consist of!  Southern Omelet is probably better than Northern Omelet off the top of my head but I'd be intrigued by either!  How about you buy an OMELET and it's made how the people in Kansas might like it. Oh great I'm real happy with that.
    Last paragraph!  Amazing.  Hey I just realized I can put the omelet and Home Fries in the oven instead of microwave.  PLUS I just realized I could Write That On The Website taking up two or three sentences.  WOW!  Things are looking great on my end.  How long does that take.  To cook.  In the oven!  I'm gonna estimate half an hour.  Should be either 5 minutes too long or 15 minutes too short.  Either way IT IS WHAT IT IS.  Every time a Southern State wants to celebrate Being The Confederacy they need to punctuate their celebration with reminding themselves THEY LOST.  That's the moral of the story to Civil War.  Remember!  Your side loses!  Always!  In perpetuitium!  That's how I feel.  If only they remembered they're losers they might remember they don't want to be them anymore!  Huh.  i guess that's about it for now!  I'll see ya tomorrow!

-6:29 P.M. 
   
     
              
   

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Thursday, April 11, 2024

Everyone's A Critic

    Hey!  Thursday Day!  Ten paragraphs to go for me to finish the week!  Looks like OJ Simpson has died.  FAMOUSLY KNOWN for having the same initials for his first and middle name as ORANGE JUICE does.  Original Jangster.  I guess he was a DIVISIVE personality.  Some people and outlets are Pro Celebrities Or Rich People No Matter What WHILE OTHERS would prefer DRAW THE LINE at someone who was FOUND GUILTY (Found responsible for Wife's Death In Civil Case) of murder!  I'm anti murderur.  Name ONE good murderer.  Son Of Sam.  is the murderer The Son Of Sam or was his Best Friend: The Dog the Son of Sam in question.  Or was the dog himself SAM, and then the murder was THE SON of the dog?  I better LTURQ because I NEED CLOSUER.  YEAH.  The dog is named Sam.  Good thing the dog wasn't named... huh... what's a good name For The Dog that the Son Of Sam would need to carry over to his name.  That would make him, "SON OF, 'Whatever"  A BITCH.  Half dogs are bitches.  He could easily have been known as THE SON OF A BITCH KILLER.  Yeesh.
    Norberg is a FAN FAVORITE in the Naked Gun Trilogy.  KIDS LOVE NORBERT in particular.  I speak personally as a child watching The Naked Gun series.  I never REALIZED I enjoyed OJ Simpson in a Childish way that was probably universal.  But I just REALIZED IT NOW.  Cause he gets hurt over and over.  Kids LOVE it.  Okay!  When OJ Simpson has to CONFRONT HIS AFTER LIFE does he see Hell and be like WHAT THE HELL did I do to deserve for me to Go TO HELL! ...OH RIGHT.  THE MURDERS.  He forgot himself!  According to Today's News, it's just a small part of of his overall life story and personality.  I've never mudrdered anyone!  AND I'm not just saying that off the top of my head only for me to go, a few seconds later, ...Oh right.  THAT Murder.  Nope!  We're talking STRAIGHT UP INNOCENT of personally causing the death of ANYONE.  But if I DID cause the death of someone, THIS IS HOW I WOULD HAVE DONE IT... Anyway.  WHY would someone who knows everyone thinks he's a killer WRITE A BOOK.  If 150 million people in America thought I was a deranged Wiferocider I probably would just stay at home and not bother anyone.  HE was like I GOT THEIR ATTENTION NOW. TIME TO WRITE A BOOK TO FURTHER CAPITALIZE ON THIS GREAT SITUATION I PUT MYSELF IN. 
   What's the ROOT Latin Phrase for Killing Wives.  Hmm.  UXORICIDE.  I was hoping there'd be a word for that-- there's a word for all sorts of SIMILAR Killing Specific Peoples.  Anyway.  UXORICIDE.  Doesn't disappoint!  THE FLUXORICIDE CAPACITOR is WHAT MAKES TIME TRAVELING TO KILL YOUR SPOUSE possible.  WHY did the pun go that way.  Ux-or-i-cide.  First pun I think of is FLUX CAPACITOR for that?  I DON'T LIKE IT.  Michael BE SLIPPING lately.  You MAY want to kill me based on today's entry.  What's the word for killing an entertainer so I can call attention to this situation before it manifests completely.   Lemme LTURQ.  Nope.  Not seeing anything.  I guess it's GOOD we don't have a word for Killing Critically Acclaimed Blog Writers.  Means it hasn't happened often enough for us to need the word.  TIME TO LAY BACK AND RELAX.  My murder IS NOT imminent.  For now.  Who knows what the future will bring!  Time Traveling Wife Murderers would know.  Their MAIN goal was Murdering Their Wife In Time but a secondary benefit is They Know Whether The Future Will Find ME Murdered Or Not.
    Yeah!  What if OJ Simpson could travel through time and actually spent most of his live Preventing Atrocities From Occurring.  Stuff that didn't happen.  But would have happened!  IF NOT FOR TIME TRAVELING OJ SIMPSON.  I say let's give him the benefit of the doubt on this one!  How do I go about getting cast in the Naked Gun Reboot.  I think I'd be a good get for the Short White Friend they have.  I'm SHORT.  I'm White.  FRIEND is a stretch but 2/3 ain't bad.  Is OJ Simpson responsible for OJ Simpson's death?  In a sense YES.  Add one more victim to his tally.  Nobody is safe!  What does OJ stand for.  Oswald Jimpson is my guess.  I SAY his name is Oswald Jimpson Simpson.  Let's see.  Orenthal James.  Well you can't argue with that.  Orenthal sounds Other Culturally Than Me.  I CAN'T DIS another culture's name.  THAT'S FOR THEMSELVES to figure out why it a dumb name.  NOT MY PLACE to get involved.
    Hmm.  Possible I should put out a Diss Track against OJ Simpson.  I don't know anymore.  Anyway.  I wanna write a book called If I Did It about me taking a poop.  Is it based on a true story?  Sure seems that way!  But I'm not LEGALLY LIABLE for now just because officially I'm SPECULATING I might have used the bathroom earlier in my life and This Is How It Could Have Gone Down.  Not sure I like saying, "Taking A Poop."  I never used poop as a word as a kid.  Now that I'm ADULT I have to start saying poop all of a sudden?!  Well if I have kids I'm okay with raising THEM in A Poop Household.  But for now, on my own, no reason for me to start saying Poop.  Fun word though.  I guess!  How come OJ didn't write an entire LINE OF If I Did It books.  PEARL HARBOR.  I didn't do it, OJ SAYS, but if I did... this is how it would have gone down!  The asteroid that killed the dinosaurs.  WASN'T ME, says OJ SIMPSON, but IF IT WAS I WOULD HAVE DONE IT THIS EXACT WAY.  How about a book written by Exxon Mobil about Climate Change.  LET'S.  GET.  POLITICAL.
    I'm NAMING NAMES and TAKING PUNCHES.  Lots of pearls found on Pearl Harbor.  Probably!  Bad things keeping happening to Norberg in Naked Gun.  KIDS respond to that sort of thing.  Is it racist.  That bad things keep happening to the one black guy?  They WANT to see AN AFRICAN AMERICAN suffer?  Probably.  Kids are notorious bigots.  Some of them are.  I guess!  WHAT ELSE is going on in the wide world of sports.  HOW can they make a new The Naked Gun (2025).  They already made all the Naked Gun jokes in The Naked Gun (1988).  And in the off chance they missed a Naked Gun joke in that one they had TWO SQUEAKUELS already.  What more is there to say.  You can have the black guy falling out of windows and stuff over and over.  IT'S BEEN DONE but maybe the poeple demand more?  I don't like it!  But I GET IT.  Bad thing happen to Frank Drebin as well as George Kennedy, too.  Good.  What else.  Moral of the story is We Want To See Bad Things Happen To Regular People.
    Four paragraphs to go!  Why am I getting so many e-mails from Tim Kaine.  Of all the jerks running for senate why is THIS ONE all up in my grill.  Does he have my e-mail from 2016.  I probably donated to what was popularly known as, "The Dream Team," Tim Kaine and Hillary Clinton, so maybe Kaine retained that e-mail address for personal reasons.  Either way not my top Senate Seat I'm Looking At.  Let's bring up the Big Board.  What are we talking about that I'm Looking At.  I've GOT MY EYE on Texas as well as MONTANO.  Ugh.  Anyway.  Three and a half paragraphs to go!  Lots of competitive RACES in the senate.  But just like in Regular Track And Field it doesn't matter if you win or lose, as long as the special interests that donated to your campaign also donated to your opponent's campaign!  Either way Everybody comes out on top!
   Eighth paragraph!  Might have cup o noodles for dinner.  I had a hearty lunch of Buffalo Chicken Roll.  Feels like I should have a light delicious dinner.  Not sure the point of abbreviating the word, "OF," as, "O'."  Same amount of characters and syllables.  Really not shortening anything that much.  Is it fun, though, now that I think about it?  YEAH.  Everything is fun Once You Think About It.  Not sure that checks out.  Ah well!  I don't like Track and Field.  My first impression of Track and field is It's Just running WHICH WOULD MAKE IT JUST TRACK.  Where does FIELD part come into play.  I'm guessing there's a second half to Track And Field Practice where you Do Things On A Field?  Lemme LTURQ.  NOPE.  Internet is ON MY SIDE FOR ONCE.  Track and field is just running or walking on a track.  What The HELL is Field doing in this phrase.  Maybe one out of ten times There ARE Fields Activities.  That's what wikipedia says now that I delve further into my research.  THROWING.  JUMPING.  These are things that might happen On Your Field Part Of The Field per wikipedia.
   Penultimate paragraph!  SECOND WORST ENTRY of the week.  Possibly worst!  Not happy about it.  OJ Simpson gets Memorialized as Famous And Beloved Football Player And Actor when he's a killer.  MEANWHILE when I pass away they'll say MORON BLOG WRITER FINALLY DIES.  Such is life for us non-Famos!  If I were FAMOUS they'd FRAME MY DEATH BETTER.  Or My LIFE better upon the occasion of My Death, more accurately.  One of the main perks of fame!  When you die they give you the benefit of the doubt in mainstream publications If Not In Popular Sentiment.  YES!  What else is up.  I don't particularly care how I'm remembered which is good because I Will Not Be Remembered!  That solves that problem.  I can write a book called IF I DID IT about beating a CHESS GRAND CHAMPION and I DID IT by being EVEN BETTER AT CHESS THAN HE IS.  Not sure that fits in with the logic of The Rest Of The Jokes and Puns I was Making.  AH WELL.  I think the premise is people will assume I Really Did Do It if I wrote an If I Did It and now I wanna lean into that and make people think I Am A Chess Grandmaster.  Couldn't HURT to have people think that at least.
    Last paragraph!  George Kennedy Jr is now running for president?  I dunno!  Whatever.  Let's see.  Probably can finish the MusicBrainScienceBook this weekend.  Then I'll be smart!  Makes sense.  George Kennedy SR was in a movie about a Haunted Boat.  I saw it a couple of years ago!  NO ONE IS GETTING OFF THIS BOAT WITHOUT BEING SPOOKED FIRST.  So that's good.  GET THOSE TAXES IN.  Tax Day is coming up.  Move it or lose it!  What does that phrase mean.  Where does it come up exactly.  Where the person TRULY has two options-- Moving IT (Whatever it is) or LOSING IT (does the second IT have to be the same IT as the first IT?).  I imagine saying it to a car ahead of you in traffic that has an option to move forward but isn't.  LOSE WHAT THOUGH.  Are you threatening they will Lose THEIR CAR?  I don't see how that's giong to happen!  Ugh.  Wanna make a company that relies on Spamming People for somehow making money and it's called O.J. Spamson.  Not sure why that was necessary.  Alright.  Next week!  Should be better than this week!  Yes!  See ya later. 

-5:23 P.M.
 
 
 
     

Wednesday, April 10, 2024

I'm Not 100% This Title Hasn't Happened Before

    Hey, friends!  Time for the Wednesday entry.  I got Not A Lot going on this week!  The TV I'm watching I'm only 33% enthusiastic about instead of 67%!  I've just been watching random movies that I don't like.  I know hatewatching is a term but there needs to be a term for between RegularWatching and Hatewatching.  I'M GETTING AMBIGUOUS NEUTRAL FEELINGS ABOUT NOT REALLY LIKING THIS SHOW I KEEP WATCHING.  I'm BOREDWATCHING it.  TM subject to change COPWRIGHT Michael 2003.  It's 2024.  YEAH but I actually came up with it in 2003!  Copywrighted it back then!  It just never came up until just now!  It was more fun browsing around Cable TV compared to what we got going on now.  We would spend all the time we'd NOW spend BoredWatching BoredFlipping.  Just turn from channel to chanel.  Get a taste of EVERYTHING.  It was a different time people were into Free Love and whatknot.  Nobody NOW is going I'm gonna watch 12 seconds of Forrest Gump, then watch 20 seconds of Taxi Cab Confessions, and then 5 seconds on THE OC.  I liked Forrest Gump as a reference for that.  I did NOT like the next two ones!  I could be wrong.
   Wow!  Right now I'm in the middle of re-watching Last Year's Exorcist.  LAST YEAR?  This Exercist is old news now.  You may as well be asking me to participate in watching an Exorcist where... Forrest Gump was a new movie... and Taxi Cab Confessions was only in PRE-production, and... OC... you get the idea!  More like Forrest Chump.  That's how I'd choose to mock him off the top of my head.  Preferably AS A KID.  Kids can't fight back!  If I mock Forrest Gump as an adult it's possible he'd knock my lights out.  He seems pretty non-violent.  What about the time he WENT TO TOWN on those chocolates.  Huh.  He was waiting to GO INTO TOWN at least.  Waiting For The Bus while eating chocolates.  The good news is What Else.  I live in THE QC.  C means County.  Q means Queens!  Anything can do down in the QC.  Mostly people walking around their neighborhoods Here And Fro for some reason.  WE GOT THAT IN SPADES.  And one day we might have David Spade.  Ya never know!
    Let's see.  What else is up.  Was Taxi Cab Confessions just the guy talking to the other guy.  That seems kind of boring.  Wow it's SCANDALOUS because they might talk about EROTIC SEXY THINGS.  But it's still just two people in a cab talking, right?  Is that really an exciting X RATED show to get a kick out of?  Probably.  IT WAS a show for a while.  Must have been SOMETING to it.  Anyway.  I didn't like the HBO show Real Sex.  Because it was exciting to see nudity and whatknot AT ALL on TV, but they always had segments on normal ugly people doing stuff.  SWINGERS and whatknot.  But not SEXY swingers.  Just see a bunch of mediocre below-average looking nude people eating with one another.  Well more sex than eating.  I typed, "eating," PER ACCIDENTALS.  But they were mostly overweight.  So they did like eating in general. Anyway did Real Sex show Sex?  I dunno!  I think usually it showed them GATHERING presumably for sex but it only shows them hanging out naked.  Either way the people weren't the making-me-horniest people I've ever seen. 
    You've gotta do something wrong to make NuditySex Show not very appealing to a thirteen year old.  YEP.  Swingers, eh.  AM I MONEY and I don't even know it?  Probably not.  The results of my recreational life up until this point would be pretty different if I was Money.  Almost definitely.  Must not be money.  Maybe COINS.  You're gonna wanna be PAPER MONEY re: Swinging.  Maybe I'm 37 cents.  Yes!  It's weird that MINERAL WISE what we use as a stand in For Money is MORE EXPENSIVE for LESS WORTH things.  I mean, gotta imagine, it's CHEAPER to produce a Five Dollar Bill than it is to produce a Quarter.  THUS QUARTERS REALLY ARE WITH MORE THAN BILLS.  Strange!  Probably gonna get Pizzeria Pizza for tonight.  Maybe get it for tomorrow and get Pizzeria Chicken Roll Or Something for tonight.  One of those two things!
   Sure.  There was a film called Orange County just a year or two before THE OC Television show.  Are they in the same Extended OC Universe?  I dunno!  There's no TANGIBLE connection between the two but at the same time if there was suddenly a crossover they can easily RETCON it so that it was The Same World All Along.  I never watched The OC.  I got the sense it had sexy teenagers.  I was a teenager at the time.  So it's OKAY for me to find Teenagers to be teenage.  What's a good show I was watching instead of The OC.  Huh.  WHATEVER WAS ON UNIVISION WEDNESDAYS AT 9 PM.  I can't get enough of it!  Kinda seems Orwellian.  UNIVISION?  ONE VISION?  I think we should all have unique visions.  Anyway.  Not a lot of really successful seminal utopian novels.  ALWAYS with the Dystopia!  How come nothing good ever happens in Big Time Novels.  That's the story people want to hear!  THINGS WORKING OUT AND GOOD TIMES FOR ALL.
    Halfway through the act!  Sweet.  Watched the trailer for Joker II: Some French Words.  Looks good!  I like Comic Book Movies half the time!  Pretty invested in this sort of thing.  Also it apparently has a bunch of Real Songs in it.  WOW.  Popular Music Songs?  AMERICA ISN'T READY FOR THIS.  You may think you are but YOU AIN'T.  Better be some Smash Mouth on there.  Anyway.   Is Smash Mouth a threat?  They're gonna Clock Me right in my Puss?  Either way let's stay on Smash Mouth's Good Side just to play it safe.  All Star is a song about Global Warming but I think it turns out Smash Mouth is a Right Winger.  Interesting.  Huh.  Before dying Lead Smash Mouther WAS a Crazy and stuff.  Did Nazi solutions RIGHT ON STAGE.  Well he's dead now.  He can't hurt us anymore.  ALRIGHT.
   Four paragraphs to go.  "Lady Gaza."  Is that a thing?  IF not... WAIT A SECOND.  It Could Become A Thing At Any Moment!  I used to confuse Lady Gaga with Amy Winehouse.  Until I figured out whom they were and how they were different.  Which occurred just a few months after Knowing Both Their Names.  So it's not that interesting a story I guess!  I think when Amy Winehouse DIED that really drove the point home that She Was Her and now Lady Gaga Is That.  So that's good.  I remember when Joker I came out and they were saying IF they ever did a sequel WHICH THEY DON'T WANT TO it'd be a musical.  I thought they were just Joshing!  Trolling us!  Just a GOOF.  Nope.  They meant it.  And they were right.  SIGHT UNSEEN I can tell you it was perhaps possibly the right move.  MUSIC UNHEART, too.
   Three paragraphs to go.  Wouldn't it infuriate the Incels who were Joker's Biggest Fan Base the first time around to see him with a lady.  HOW will they square that!  I guess we gotta see the movie to find out.  I think most men are Incels at least HALF of the time.  Even if you're in an active sexual relationship.  HALF the time you must be like I AM IN FACT INVOLUNTARILY CELIBATE RIGHT NOW.  I WANNA BE DOING IT THIS VERY SECOND.  I guess.  I've never been in an active sexual relationship that lasted longer than two nights.  They say men think about sex every seven seconds.  Does it work if I think about it eight seconds a minute?  I don't NEED to think about it for a split second every time seven seconds rolls around, right?  That's INSANE.  NOBODY thinks that way... ...Unless they do.  BUT maybe I think about sex for 8 minutes out of the hour On The Regular.  THERE WE GO.
    Penultimate paragraph.  Seems kind of low.  Maybe Fifteen Minutes every 2 hours am I consumed with Thoughts Of Sex.  I dunno.  I've not Journaled My Sex Thoughts.  Whatever.  I guess.  Looking forward to that, though.  What.  Hmm.  What was the last thing I was talking about That I Could Be Looking Forward to.  Joker II: Delusion Or Mental Illness Shared By Two People In Close Association.  THAT'S WHAT GOOGLE SAYS THE WORDS MEAN.  I am nothing if not fealty to Google.  What's the tense of, "Fealty," I'm looking for in that sentence.  FEALT?  I DON'T KNOW.  Probably should be Journaling my Sex Thoughts.  Then put all of my fantasies into an Excel Spreadshseet.  That' what being An Excel is.  I'm a TRENDSETTER I'm THE FIRST Excel.  Nope!  Ugh.  Wonder if they'll do any Lady Gaga songs in Joker II.  I'LL SAY 20% chance they do.  A LOW 20%.  It's only 1 out of 5 odds!  That's not that great!  I DON'T THINK IT WILL HAPPEN.  I've made my position On These Odds pretty clear I think.
    Last paragraph.  I thought the theme song to THE OC was a CHUMP'S version-idea of a good song but I listened to it a dozen times over the past few months and I STILL believe it's for fools BUT even us Excels can appropriately get a kick out of it in the right circumstances.  Whatever.  Their name is Phantom Planet but the song's name is California.  Sure sounds like OUR Regular planet.  That's where California EXISTS.  Guess there's a California on Phantom Planet, too.  WHAT ARE THE ODDS!  20-33% I'd say.  I think California is too powerful culturally versus New York.  New York should be at the top of all your lists but California appears to be at the top of TV and movies if you take THE OC AT FACE VALUE for example.  NOT A FAN.  We need more New York Centric Stories.  YOU KNOW LIKE TAXI.  WE NEED A NEW TAXI.  Ugh.  It's called E-Bikes.  Or Citi-Bikes.  Or whatever it's called.  The New Taxi is about REGULAR PEOPLE who ride the bike and the friendships and pitfalls along the way.  Not sure that's a great structure for a show.  Either way, that's it!  I'll see ya tomorrow.

-5:13 P.M.     

Tuesday, April 9, 2024

Why It's a New Entry

    Hey!  Yesterday was a real crappy entry.  Let's put that behind us!  That's how TIME WORKS anyway so it should be easy!  I got a meatloaf sandwich to eat tonight.  Let's put that in front of us!  Anyway.  Did I like the Curb II Enthusiasm finale?  ON THE ONE HAND yes, but on the other hand ALSO YES.  Good for Larry David: The Person for Going For It with that Ending Premise and whatknot.  IS Larry David's first name Lawrence?  Doesn't seem Jewish enough.  What's a Jewish Proper Name Larry could be.  Baseball player LARRY WALKER.  NOPE!  Wikipedia says his name is Lawrence David.  Huh.  Does that EXPLAIN EVERYTHING about Larry David?  That his name was LAWRENCE THIS WHOLE TIME?  I never would have associated This Character/The Person with the name, "Lawrence."  But now that I think about it THIS MAY JUST BE THE CONTEXT I NEED to GET IT.  Get off on it maybe!  Plus his middle name is OTIS or something.  I just saw it 90 seconds ago.  Something like Otis!  I forget!  Gene.
    Slant rhyme Lawrence with Low Rent.  You can do it!  I'M not gonna do it.  Door's wide open for YOU to do it!  In the band The Doors do all the doors open up to the same place?  I think they do!  Just a bunch of parallel doors that all lead from The Same Place TO The Same Place.  No one KNOWS why we need all those redundant doors.  We don't really NEED to know.  What's important is that we adjust our Life Expectations re: Doors lining up or Not lining up.  The FACTS are what matter.  Not WHY THE FACTS ARE.  Sometimes you'll get redundant doors if there's a lot of traffic.  Yeah but this is an absurd number of doors relative to the traffic.  So you can see why someone might find it funny or even humorous.  Watched A Wendy Williams documentary earlier today.  Not THE one.  There was one that got Press for being Entertaining.  This one wasn't that!  It was about her life and now I know about her life.  But it didn't have SENSATIONAL things.  The only of my senses that were activated were SIGHT and SOUND.  Two out of five!  THAT'S IT.
   Good morning and I'm The Wendy Williams Show.  That's how she opens her show each day.  Okay.  I really dislike daytime TV show like that.  I'm not sure if its the content or what.  Maybe I don't like the audiences.  I think it's the MIXTURE of the two where it's The Content Pandering To The In Studio Audience.  WHAT.  You're making content FOR PEOPLE.  Who EXPLICITLY aren't me?  I don't like this!  Also it just reminds me of being In Hospital and the only thing to do is watch DayTime TV in the... what do they call that room.  Not the REC Room.  Not the SOCIAL room.  Maybe it was just called the TV room.  It was a medium sized room with just a small TV.  Oh.  Medium Sized.  Now I get it.  Either way day time talk TV shows WILL drive a normal person insane and if you're a little crazy already then they'll push you over the edge!  It's not important but WHY ARE CELEBRITIES UP SO EARLY TO PROMOTE THEIR WORK?  THEY NEED THEIR REST.  This is just MADNESS.  What do I consider early.  PRE PM.
   Isn't Pre Post Modern Depression a thing.  Well, no, for several reasons!  But the phrase, "Post Modern Depression," is a fun one!  But also because, "Pre Post," is a JOKE as well!  Great.  I AM A CELEBRITY.  My Job is BEING CELEBRATED.  Show up at 9, punch out at five, that's the deal!  I gotta get into PORNOGRAPHY DEEP FAKES.  There's the ethical consideration but on the other hand WHAT FUN.  Put MY MUG on some of the male actors in porno.  Then think MAYBE I DID THAT, WHO CAN REMEMBER.  Then suddenly my Memory of My Past Lives is logarithmically better!  HAD SOME SEX.  PLAIN FOR ALL TO SEE.  EVEN IF IT'S FALSE.  So that's good.  I SEE they illegalized practically all abortion in Arizona.  ARIZONA?  THE LAND OF ICED TEA?  WHY I NEVER.  I think pre-being brainwashed by corporate products it would have made a lot more sense to name an Iced Tea brand after some EASTERN Southern state instead of Arizona.  Because they're well known for their Iced Teas.  I'm imagining GEORGIA but it applies UP AND COWN THE COAST.  Arizona Iced Tea?  WHAT THE HELL IS THAT.  I mean now we know it's delicious.  BUT we can't count on that from the start!
    Sure.  Arizona makes you think of hte word ARID which it probably is across Arizona!  Also makes you think of Aziz Ansari but no state is perfect!  Remember when Aziz was first publicly accused of sexual misconduct and he presumably probably apologized somewhat or mostwhat?  MORE LIKE AZIZ, "I'M SORRY," right?  What's the percentage of Successful Male Comedians that aren't creeps.  Because my goal is to become a Male Comedian/Comic Writer and IDEALLY I'd refrain from being a creep.  ALL THINGS BEING EQUAL I'd like to avoid it!  So I wanna know what my odds are.  Have I been a Creep In The Past?  I dunno.  Privately, sure.  Most people are Private Creeps!  But not AT PEOPLE.  We're all on the Private Creep spectrum.  Ugh.  We all have two wolves in us.  One is a creep.  One is not to be a creep.  WE HAVE TO FEED one of the wolves.  The other one we STARVE.  Then that wolf goes crazy with Famishedness and CONSUMES AS ALL.  
   Halfway through the act!  YES.  Better than yesterday.  Worse than practically every other day!  YES.  Gotta look out for the wolf you're starving.  Gonna come back and bite you on the ass!  We should get these two wolves WORKING TOGETHER.  Found some ROME.  We can use some A NEW ROME in our lives.  I CALL MAYOR.  Anyway.  Romulus and Remus were THE ORIGINAL Cain and Abel.  In the sense that they worked together to put aside their differences and MAKE GOOD for All Of Mankind.  Huh.  Why did Wolves care about staring a Human Empire.  WHAT COULD THEY POSSIBLY have at stake with this.  Dumb wolves.  No wonder they're idiots.  Because they're STUPID.  Huh.  Did Romans domesticate wolves into dogs.  Seems like something they would be at the forefront of!  Maybe R & R wanted nothing more than to become Dogs.  Good.  Good wolves.  Yes you are! 
   Wonderufl.  The boy who cried wolf.  Why did society get so concerned that There's A Wolf.  LOOK YOU LIVE IN OLDEN TIMES.  There's gonna be wolves around.  It's not like a boy cries HEY I SAW A WOLF and then everyone in town goes This.  Changes.  EVERYTHING.  NO!  WE ALREADY KNOW THERE'S WOLVES OUT THERE.  Just knowing that Some Kid Saw One-- who cares!  THEY EXIST WHETHER WE WANT TO ADMIT IT OR NOT.  Plenty of them.  Not even just The One!.  Well maybe this takes place in a place where there's normally no wolves.  SOUNDS LIKE THIS KID IS LYING THEN.  But in the meantime I can understand how that'd freak pepole out.  WHAT?  A WOLF?  NOT SURE I LIKE TEH SOUND OF THAT. -- Ignorant Townspeople.  HAHA the boy CRIED wolf.  What a jerk.  Boys Don't Cry!  He thinks he's pulling a fast one on his community but in the process he makes himself look like a wimp!  A FAUSTIAN BARGAIN if I ever heard one.  I MAY have never heard one.
   Three paragraphs to go!  Wonderful.  HMM.  What to do when Improve 201 ATTEMPT #2 is over?  Right now there's a couple of sessions opening of Online UCB class WRITING FOR LATE NIGHT TV.  It's like Morning TV which as we've covered HORRIFIES ME but it's on SEVERAL HOURS LATER.  So instead of wanting to avoid it now I want to make it MY LIFE.  Yep that checks out.  Makes sense.  Anything is better than nothing.  IN THE SPIRIT OF THAT TRUISM let's settle for Not Accomplishing Or Doing Much..  We've already won!  Whatever we got going on, It's NOT NOTHING.  I'll settle for a Real Crappy Anything, in fact it's only fair, it's called REACHING BALENCE and COMPROMISE in the universe.  Something Is Better Than Nothing But Worse Than Most Things But What Are Ya Gonna Do.  Sure.  Kinda seems weird that no country or civilization in the modern world, Roman or not, has elevated any animals to positions of power.  There should be at least A COUPLE places out there! THERE SHOULD BE A GOAT WITH POWERS.  POLITICAL POWERS.
   Nope!  Penultimate paragraph.  Today ain't great.  But it's a bridge from YESTERDAY to TOMORROW.  That's all Today Ever Is!  I think the premise of Arizona Iced Tea is They'd LIKE THIS In Arizona.  People in Arizona need iced tea because it's an arid climate.  Aridzona!  They need to hydrate themselves.  So we read ARIZONA ICED TEA and think, "WELL if it's good enuogh for the people in Arizona surely it'll be delicious and quench MY thirst as well!"  Oh Okay That's Good.  Anyway.  I'm surprised they haven't made it clear that it's legal for people with Male Parts to have abortions.  YES it could never happen EVER in the real world.  Just say If for some reason a man is carrying a baby For Some Reason They Can Have Abortions.  If it occurred to Republicans drafting the law to make an exception for Males Who Can Suddenly Carry Babies, they would explicitly say that's okay.  YES.  HYPOCRISY.  I CALLED THEM OUT.  I lost track of what I was talking about.
    Hypocrisy?  More like HYPOCRACY.  That's what we LIVE UNDER.  A SYSTEM of hypocricy.  I'M SPEAKING TRUTH TO POWER.  What else is up. I hope the meatloaf isn't stuck to the bread.  I'd like to warm up the meatloaf but not the bread!  If it's stuck to the bread now we're talking about an ordeal.  AH WELL.  You can eat cold meatloaf sandwich.  DELISH.  What else is up.  THEY COULD always make it legal to have an abortion if The Father Who Contributed To The Fetus okay's it.  That's A GOOD COMPROMISE.  They say a good compromise is when nobody is happy with the results.  THIS WEBSITE IS A GOOD COMPROMISE.  Who knew!  Did they know Australia was The Land Down Under even before maps?  Hmm.  We should call America The Land To The Left A Little Bit.  Whatever.  We look at maps centered around The Atlantic Ocean.  Or I do, at least.  Maybe when you look at maps you mix it up!  I hope you do!  I don't trust the Atlantic Ocean.   TITANIC.  Wonderful.  That's it.  I'll see ya tomorrow.

5:14 P.M.    
  

   
     
  

Monday, April 8, 2024

You Read This Far

    Hello, friends.  A new week has begun!  Very exciting stuff.  Hence the exclamation mark.  I looked at the moon eclipsing the sun earlier!  After Improvement Class, a couple of us went to THE PARK and looked at the sun.  It was more exciting than I thought it'd be!  I was ENRAPTURED by how quickly the moon progressed.  I'm used to celestial bodies moving slow.  This sucker was wasting no time with eclipsing.  Today was Moon's Moment and IT KNEW IT and IT SATISFIED.  Why is it The Moon's Moment.  Maybe you should give just as much credit to The Sun.  Or EARTH even.  Idunno.  Sun is just doing what it always does.  I say it's THE MOON that's really shining during the eclipse.  But you could say Moon is ALSO just doing What Moon Always does.  Just happens that TODAY its Mooning Where the Sun is Sunning.  The point is MOON comes in first in my rankings, THEN Earth, then I rank THE SUN as a distant third.  If you don't like it you can get the Hell out.
    I had GLASSES.  But I'm proud to say I stared at the sun for a couple of four second bursts at the Heighth of eclipse.  Felt no pain.  I feel like there will be NO CONSEQUENCES.  NOW I KNOW HOW DONALD TRUMP FEELS.  That's why he looked up at the sun Last Eclipse.  He faces few consequences from ManMade Laws.  So why should The Laws Of Nature work on him.  Anyway.  Hmm.  Kinda wanna look at the sun again.  Now that I got a taste of it I wanna do it some more.  Kinda shot myself in the foot on that one.  Anyway.  Improve Class #2 of 8 went fine!  Did I do good?  Sure!  As good as mediocre is!  But it's FINE.  I can hold my own in the sense that I will look at my scene partner and often come up with things to say in response to them talking to me.  Hmm.  Did some looking and nodding at Teacher today.  Teacher was really dispensing the Improv Lessons that indeed doubled as Life Lessons.  Ah.  I get it now.  IT ALL MAKES SENSE.  I UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING.  I hope I don't forget Everything.  I think I already forgot most of it.
    WOW.  I started watching some American Horror Story.  I watched over half of the seasons YEARS ago.  I watched 1.5 seasons THIS WEEKEND.  That's THAT.  Still got more to watch.  I like it.  It's FUNNY.  Why is spooky stuff happening.  Must be humorous in nature.  That'll take the edge off.  Great!  The eclipse glasses say they expire after 3 years.  But the next eclipse isn't until 2044.  I'm gonna roll the dice and save these glasses for twenty years.  It's called being a Conservationist!  I care about the environment and resources!  I'm PRO environment and NEUTRAL ON resources.  Anyway.  The world didn't come to an end when Eclipse happened which is sort of a bummer!  I like the world just fine but it would have been interesting if some sort of Biblical Shit happened!  Biblical with a SMALL b.  Even though I used a capital, "B," pretty intentionally.  WELL somewhere between lower case and capital.  I'm trying to have it BOTH WAYS re: capitalization of B's.  Great!
    LOCUSTS for example.  We don't need the world to end, but maybe some OTHER Plagues could happen in addition to Darkness.  I had my heart set on LOCUSTS but no locusts or anything.  Locusts are a great plague because they're not gonna kill you.  Just really annoying!  Locusts gonna eat all our crops.  Then we'll die of starvation.  What are we AMISH.  Neither of us have Crops!  Locusts are just gonna be a bother to us, that's all!  Huh.  We can eat the locusts.  Problem solved I guess.  I just read a reference to Joe Biden's BUILD BACK BETTER (BBB) bill on Social Media and I almost forgot about that!  Biden was REALLY LEANING INTO The, "B's," wasn't he.  Gotta wonder if that'll pay off on the long run.  I think it's a winning campaign message.  Lots of B's.  I don't know what that means!  We watched Eclipse in The Park and when it happened everyone applauded.  Congratulations all around!
    Fifth paragraph.  Total Eclipse Of The Park.  Anyway.  Probably should have put my mask back on during Crowded Park Occasion.  But I didn't.  That's life!  And, possibly, Death!  Probably not!  Read some more of MusicScienceOnBrain book this weekend.  Almost done with it.  It's very exciting to finish books you don't like.  You got a clean slate now!  Think of what you can accomplish and how much fun you can have with a clean slate.  Read a book you DO like.  Ah seems good.  Today woulda been a good day to rob a bank because the security officers were all staring at the eclipse.  Unless your kink is you want to get caught while doing it.  Then do it any other day!  I WAS HOPING it'd get dark overall across the sky.  I wanted some sort of NightTime in the day.  Might have gotten 5 or 10% darker besides The Sun Itself Being Eclipsed.  MAYBE.  NOT A FAN.  GIVE ME DARKNESS OR GIVE ME DEATH.  I might not ACTUALLY feel that way but it drives the point home pretty well!  Ugh.
    Halfway through the act!  Hmm.  Just wondering how my friends The Sun and The Moon are doing.  I can check in with the moon most every night.  Not so with the sun though!  Just gonna have to take for granted The Sun Is Doing Okay Don't Worry About The Sun Okay.  Wow I got to watch the Curb II Enthusiasm finale tonight.  I already read some spoiler on it but it just makes me want to watch it All The More!  WOW.  Woke up early today to go to class.  What kind of person gets up at 8 AM.  Normal People.  What kind of person is a Normal Person.  Seems kind of strange to me!  Being normal is BIZARRE.  I don't like it!  Thought about taking a couple of, "Tokes," before watching the eclipse but I didn't do it before entering the park and you're not supposed to smoke in park and in the end it was probably the right move anyway!  Marijuana is for stoners!  I can't stone myself out in the city.  I don't know what would happen exactly.
    Seventh paragraph!  When did they come up with WRESTLEMANIA.  It's the technical word for when YOU'VE GONE INSANE ABOUT WRESTLING.  We've got WRESTLE-MANIA and that's what we've all come here once a year to congregate about.  Kinda feels like you should see a doctor.  Not sure if there's a wrestler whose a Doctor.  Closest thing off the top of my head is There's An Undertaker and/or his Coach-Slash-Friend The Pallbearer.  Maybe go see The Undertaker or The Pallbearer about your Wrestle Mania.  Huh.  Gotta be wrestlers equally as close or closer to Doctors as an Undertaker is.  Lemme LTURQ.   I googled, "Wrestlers who are Doctors," and there immediately was a link Top Five Wrestlers Who Are Doctors.  So they've given it a shot!  Multiple times!  But it never quite caught on it appears.  One name sounded familiar.  And not because of any personal relationship I may or may not have with him Clinical Or Otherwise.  Familiar because of Watching Wrestling.
    Three paragraphs to go.  Four out of five entries are better than today.  Possibly Nineteen Out Of Twenty!  YES.  Great.  I don't wanna Get Covid From The Eclipse.  That'd be a shitty way to get it after all this time.  Or a great way.  I dunno!  Things don't matter.  What else is going on and crap.  I can get up as late as I want tomorrow!  10 30 AM, 11 30 AM, the sky's the limit!  There's lots of songs you could have on your Eclipse Playlist but I think if I was listening to headphones during Peak Eclipse I'd put on The Offspring-- Staring At The Sun.  Nah.  I think I could pick one better than that.  That's a good SECOND choice.  Better than most.  But not Top!  An eclipse is the moon is slowly taking a bullet for the sun IF one of us were shooting a gun from Earth.  YES.  Kinda seems it's doing it pretty fast.  Moon revolves around Earth fast.  I don't care what your point of reference is!  Moon is moving at 2,288 MPH per the internet.  That's pretty fast!  I actually thought it'd be faster.  Heck, I could revolve 2,288 MPH given the right circumstances! 
   Penultimate paragraph.  Man.  We go our entire lives-- Decades And Whatknot!-- being told not to look at the sun.  Then for half an hour WE CAN.  Now we we're supposed to jsut go back to NOT looking at it?  WELL I CAN'T DO THAT.  I've gotten a taste of Staring At The Sun and I WANT MORE.  Ok.  I made that riff earlier.  I'm adding nothing to it besides doubling down on it.  YEAH.  That's a good strategy in Improv Scenes.  Don't konw how to build on the scene?  Just Do Some Doubling Down on what has already been said and/or occurred!  That'll Getcha There!  Well sure in an ideal world.  Huh.  What other kinds of things could I passively stare at in the meantime before 2044.  Hmm.  I saw a legit double rainbow a week or two ago.  I don't even explicitly remember seeing a single rainbow before.  THIS RAINBOW(s?) was OFF TEH HOOK though.  So maybe that might come back!  Ya never know. 
   Last paragraph!  How do you know which end of the rainbow your Leprechaun and Pot Of Gold are at.  You might go to the end of the rainbow only to find out There's Nothing There and your road to riches lie all the way at the opposite end.  Oh well that's your problem not mine.  I don't, "get," the song No Rain.  Surely there's SOME Rain.  Ugh.  Well tomorrow should be good at least.  Entrywise.  I like my chances!  Anyway.  I guess I gotta write the rest of this paragraph now.  Huh.  Enjoyed some City Walking today.  Turns out there's a Chick Filet somewhere in the 20's of Streets.  I didn't know that existed in New York outside of a single franchise location they had inside a New York University Cafeteria!  This.  Changes.  NOTHING.  For.  Now.  But.  If they add.  Another one.  Within GrubHub Distance.  It.  Changes.  SOMETHING.  Anyway.  I'm done for now!  See ya tomorrow.

-7:54 P.M.
    
            
     
   

Thursday, April 4, 2024

Alright That's My Time

    Hi!  Time to write 10 paragraphs.  Presumably a medium-to-medium-high quality 10 paragraphs!  I got some hot coffee going on today.  Not really hot.  I made it just now.  Only WARM.  What's up with that?!  I think it's because I made a small amount.  If you make a small amount with this crappy coffee machine only warm coffee comes out.  I don't know the science behind it.  I don't know the science behind anything.  GLOBAL WARMING, MITOSIS, etc.  Still drinking from my Bernie Standards Promotional Coffee Cup mug I got from looks like his 2020 campaign.  Hmm.  Wonder what he's up to.  Probably still in the Senate.  Doin' his thing.  Being moderate on Gun Cuntrol probably!  If I remember correctly IN HIS CHECKERED PAST he had a vote or two which didn't align progressively with gun control.  WHAT A CHUMP.  Anyway.  I watched The Dark Knight Rises.  AND BOY DOES HE.  What goes up must come down though.  Bruce Wayne bound for a fall!  I don't know.
   I'm not sure What Goes Up Must Come Down.  That sounds like GRAVITY talking.  A lot of places there's Not So Much Gravity.  In some places, you go up, YOU AIN'T NECESSARILY COMING DOWN.  Does What Come Down ever tend to Go Back Up.  SURE.  All things being equal!  Universe is full of BALANCE.  I say if you come down ODDS ARE YER GOING BACK UP AT SOME POINT.  I have a bad habit in Improv Scenes where in the 1 out of 20 chance there's a funny thing that could come out from something I do I JUMP ALL OVER IT and clunkily Respond With The Funny Thing MYSELF instead of let my partner say it WHICH WOULD BE FUNNIER AND MORE SMOOTH.  Because I'm so excited to realize there's a funny response!  I don't even contemplate Oh it's better for Partner to say it.  WELL now that I've identified that problem no time like the present to Stop Doing It.  Huh.  I'm never gonna stop doing NOTHIN.  What Starts Happening Never Stops Happening.  That's my interpretation of Newton's Laws Of Notion.
    Well sure that's right.  Okay.  Huh.  Eight more paragraphs to go!  I guess that's doable.  What the hell kind of Good Stuff can I write IN THEM PARAGRAPHS though.  I forgot to take my Ritalin before the class on Monday.  IMAGINE how well I could have done if I was ON A METHYLPHENIDATE.  Whatever.  These kids in these classes.  Good people.  They're talented.  I think one day I might turn a switch and be more talented than ALL OF THEN instead of NONE OF THEM.  Either that or I will go on with my life Not Being An Improvisor.  HARD TO SAY EXACTLY WHICH ONE TO BET ON.  What's important is that we bet on it ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.  No sitting on the standlines!  Get some skin in the game!  Hmm.  What kind of class should I take when this one is over.  I THINK I got Stand Up Classes I can take.  Or possibly CERTAIN WRITING CLASSES ONLINE.  Either way Session #2 of Improve 201 is coming up next Monday so WE'LL SEE.  Not sure why they can't just call it Improv 2.  There's no other Improvs other than 101, 201, 301, and 401.  WE DON'T NEED THE, "01's," AT TE END.  They're redundant.  I could be saving UCB tons of money by shaving off those two digits All Over The Place.  But also costing people tons of fun.  THE 01 ADDS FUN.  WHERE DO I GET OFF ADDING TO THE WORLD'S MISERY BY TRYING TO GET RID OF FUN LIKE THAT.
    Fourth paragraph.  Wow.  What should I watch-- Film Wise!-- next.  I GUESS I can watch more Batmen or more Christopher Nolan Helmed projects.  OR some film where Ed Helms participates in the making of it.  Huh.  Never quite sure whether to go by Mike or Michael in Classes or Open Mics or anything.  I think in ideal world Professionally let's stick with Michael.  But in ideal world if we're talking socially let's go with Mike!  However IN REAL WORLD I have no shot at a Professionalism OR Sociality so HMM Not Quite Sure Which To Pick As It Matters Not Either Way.  The point is ED HELMS settled on ED so that's one hint that I should go with MIKE and not EDWARD.  Huh.  Remember when people were worried if you were on Team Edward or Team Jacob?  It was A BIG DEAL.  FOR ME it seemed like a younger generation's problem.  TWILIGHT WAS for people, I dunno, 4 or 7 years younger than me.  But NOW young people coming up are probably like TWLIGHT?  WHAT'S THAT.  So NOW I'M ALL ABOUT TEAMS EDWARD OR JACKOB.  Pick a side.  It's too important to sit this one out.  If we don't pick Team Edward or Team Jacob NOW we may not get the chance to even have a choice FOR A NEXT ELECTION.
    Okay.  It's possible the wrong one might cancel elections.  I don't know how Twilight works!  They're fuckin Zombies and Wolfmen or something.  They might try to stop us from choosing Edwards and/or Jacobs down the line if we choose whichever one is the autocrat this time around.  THEY'RE MONSTERS THEY'RE CAPABLE OF ANYTHING. ...Huh.  Think I'm gonna be on team Jacob then.  Off the top of my head the vampire is probably the Joe Biden equivalent because since he's a vampire he's probably 400 Years Old so that's his main mark against him.  But that's just ONE QUALITY of A THOUSAND POSSIBLE QUALITIES to determine which presidential candidate is which Ghoul From Young Adult Novel and Film Franchise.  The important thing is WE DELVE DEEPER into this comparison at a time of our choosing.  I CHOOSE LATER.  Possibly never.  The important thing is I Guess Not Now Though.  Seems weird that people wanted to decide who Kristen Stewart's character would end up with.  Uhh let HER decide.  What the Hell is YOUR problem.  STAY OUT OF IT you freak.
    Sure!  WOW.  There's a new THE OMEN film coming out.  What a franchise!  I may have never enjoyed a single film in the franchise but I RESPECT that they exist.  I've seen most if not all of Original Omen.  It's a RESPECTORED CLASSICAL Horror Film.  Huh.  Who cares about The Omen itself.  OH NO.  There's a sign early on that this kid might be the anti-chirst.  WHO CARES ABOUT THE SIGN.  THE KID IS THE FUCKING ANTI CHRIST RUN FOR YOUR LIVES.  The sign ISN'T WHAT'S IMPORTANT AT ALL.  Huh.  Might get Chinese Food for dinner tonight.  Been a while since I had Chinese Food.  What if the Anti-Christ is Chinese.  How would we even be able to tell!  WE DON'T SPEAK MANDARIN OR CANTONESE.  IN FACT I think we'd have caught a break if that were the case.  I don't know what that means.  Why does the Devil have to be the opposite of Christ.  Why can't The Worst Person-Thing That ever Lived That Will Doom Us All just be AMBIVALENT to or NONCONCERNED with Christ.  HMM.  That conjecture sounds like something THE DEVIL might say.  I'VE GOT MY EYE ON ME.
     Seventh paragraph.  Yeah.  AUNTIE CHRIST.  Think about it!  Or don't.  Probably would come to the same conclusion either way-- It Means Nothing.  Thinking about cycling through The Tales From Within The Crypt again.  One by one!  In numerical order.  IN FACT I watched ONE AND TWO last night.  Time for episode THREE if that's what I decide to do today!  What's JOHN KASSIR aka the voice of The Cryptokeeper been up to recently.  WHAT THE HELL.  His wikipedia filmography is in ALPHABETICAL ORDER and not Chronological order.  I've never seen this before!  I don't know what the Hell is going on anymore.  I GIVE UP.  I don't get the world and I never will.  Alphabetical order.  Huh.  Maybe I can try to UNDERSTAND TEH WORLD AGAIN From A Fresh Start.  THIS IS GROUND ZERO for me understanding the world ANEW.  Okay.  So his filmography is alphabetical order.  O...Kay...!  What's next.  Anyway.   
    Three paragraphs to go!  Maybe just have cup o noodles for dinner tonight.  It's CHEAPER by practically 100%.  It's less calories.  Lots of reasons.  Amazing.  Seems like I got a few days of a break from the website coming up!  Maybe I shuold just write every day.  You could make a case for it!  You'd lose the argument eventually.  But GOOD FOR YOU for making that case in this hypothetical scenario that will never exist!  Anyway.  The Dark Knight Rises is not as good as The Dark Knight!  It still LOOKS and SOUNDS as good.  It FEELS close to as good.  But if you look at the characters and everything There's A Lot Missing that had been in The Dark Knight.  THAT'S MY CURRENT PERSONAL OPINION from Just Me Watching It Specifically This One Time Around.  Huh.  Batman Begins was probably better than The Dark Knight Rises.  I haven't seen it in Halve A Year though!  No way to say for sure!  Great!  What if I'm wrong.  And if I'm wrong about this, WHAT ELSE AM I WRONG ABOUT.  OH NO.
    Penultimate paragraph! Sure!  Not sure how I feel about new strain of marijuana I'm smoking.  Seems OKAY.  It makes me feel GOOD.  I just don't like exactly how it makes my mind work EXACTLY.  Not exactly PERFECT for what I wanna accomplish with my Thinkings.  Maybe it's good.  I'm gonna be with this strain for a month or a month and a half or so.  It could become GOOD overall.  But for now I'm still getting used to it.  Also on the internet they say DO THIS STRAIN FOR DAYTIME.  Whereas I'm doing it for NightTime.  THAT'S ON ME.  Well sure.  Ugh.  What else is going on.  Mandarin and Cantonese are too easy to spell and speak in English.  They can't be REAL Chinese words.  If you ask a Chinese person who only speaks Chinese what they speak NO WAY They say MANDARIN or CANTONESE such that we would recognize those words.  I FEEL VERY STRONGLY ABOUT THIS.  How would they know what you're asking them if they only speak Chinese.  Hmm.  Ya got me there.  I fell victim to my own dislogic.  That'll happen!
    Last paragraph!  You asked them Through a TRANSLATIONOR you idiot.  Ugh.  Next week is a new week!  More or less.  How am I supposed to know.  It hasn't happened to me yet.  Guess I'll watch more of the Underglad Film Class they have on THE MAX.  I like it.  The teacher who narrates it and guides us feels like A REAL teacher.  I see some of MY DAD in there.  (My Dad is A Real Teacher).  So that's good.  I assume when we arm teachers, teachers at least get to choose wat kind of semi-automatics they want to carry.  Give them SOME choice in the matter.  There hasn't big a Big News Story about A Big School Shooting IN MONTHS.  Problem Solved I guess!  WE DID IT!  Moving on!  What else is up.  But if I were a teacher fifty years ago, and brought a gun to class, SUDDENLY I'D SEEM LIKE AN ASSHOLE.  Funny how time works like that.  Doesn't seem right!  WELL that's it.  I'll see ya next week.

-5:33 P.M.     
   
   
      

Wednesday, April 3, 2024

Some Entries Just Suck

    Hey!  It's a rainy day outside.  I don't need to say it's a rainy day, "Outside."  Nobody is wondering whether it's raining outside or inside!  FOLKS.  Took a few Walks today-- Three.  Not as many as usual-- which would be Four by now!.  But more than yesterday-- Zero at this point.  Zero Mostel.  If someone were asking me to keep track of how many times I molested someone I'd say ZERO MOSTELATIONS.  I think.  A couple of times in the past when I was drunk I may have overread the situation and KISSED or TOUCHED a girl BRIEFLY before being rebuked and being like MY MISTAKE.  SORRY.  LOOKS LIKE I GOT A FEW OR SO MOSTELS on my record.  What does, "Overread," mean.  It means there were SOME signals but NOT ENOUGH.  Girl was a little into it but when push comes to shove TURNS OUT NOT REALLY!  I can respect that.  When push comes to shove I'm Not Really Into Anyting Either!  Except for girls.  I'm all about pretty much any of them pushing OR shoving.  I'm into pushing AND shoving AT THE SAME TIME.  Hmm. 
   Zero is a pretty bold name to give your kid.  Maybe one day my child will live up to their name and be A REAL NOTHIN.  Why is Zero an insult.  Zero is one of the most important numbers!  Nice CLEAN number, too.  Aesthetically nice.  Everyone Loves Them A Zero.  In golf Zero is the best score you can get.  That's when you use The Force to get the ball in the hole with NO EFFORT.  Hmm.  The principal in Billy Madison is Zero Mostel's son.  I knew his name was Something Mostel. Never consciously realized he was a Nepo Baby PARTLY because I have no idea who Zero Mostel is.  Anyway.  Thinking about The New Monkees pilot a tiny amount.  I should take another pass at it.  Do a real good Draft #2.  Try OVERHAULING it completely.  Then do a Draft #3 UNDERHAULING IT if that's possible.  I wanna approach this things from ALL angles.  How many degrees are there in three dimensions.  If we're talking let's say a 360 degrees for 2 dimensions, how does that translate to 3 dimensions.  41,235 degrees.  Wow. That's too many degrees!  That's SPHERES for ya.
   Huh.  I DON'T LIKE IT.  I WANNA REWATCH SPHERE: The Dustin Hoffman vehicle.  I LIKE IT.  Who else was in Sphere.  Sigourney Weaver.  Bill Paxton.  Ernie Hudson.  That's about it.  If Ghostbusters I was released today I think people would be upset about Ernie Hudson becoming a Ghostbuster because it's DEI.  Hey.  He got Ghostbusting job because he EARN..ie.. Hudston'd... it... THIS LINE OF JOKING WENT SOUR SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY.  Hmm.  Opus Dei.  IS TAHT what right wingers are up in arms about?  Cause I'm with them there! It's from The Da Vinci Code and I am VERY concerned AS WE ALL SHOULD BE.  I'm gonan be honest I don't remembre how Ernie Hudson become a Ghostbuster.  I am 85% sure they put an ad out in the paper We Need a Fourth Ghost Buster and he showed up and they were like YOU GOT THE JOB.  That's not a joke!  I'm 85% that was an entire 15 minute sequence in the film!
    WELL great Ernie Hudson was obese for a while but I think he looks great now.  But when he was Chancellor of OZ Penitentiary he was Unhealthy in terms of BMI.  Are conservatives scared of BMI yet.  It means BLACKS MIGHT IMPROVE (their lot in life).  WHITE PEOPLE CAN'T BE HAVING THAT.  What's the last good thing that happened for black people.  On a large scale.  American Large Political Scale.  Hmm.  What's the last good thing that happened for ANY of us.  Hmm.  When The Democrats lost the house in 2022 BUT NOT BY THAT MUCH.  WOW.  THAT'S THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED IN OUR LIVES.  I hope that happens again at some point.  Can't hurt to dream!  Anyway.  Google Best thing that happeend for black people lately.  Do black people care about Cowboy Carter.  Or is it mostly White People Caring. HMM.  Better Google THAT NOW too.  I don't think google has the answers to these questions.  AI should.  Why not.  Five years down the line, at least, no reason AI shuoldn't be able to answer these questions!
   I mean I don't WANT to know the answers to these questions.  TOO INTRUSIVE CULTURALLY.  But no reason AI can't figure 'em out anyway!  YES.  AI.  BRILLIANT.  If I went around calling myself Cowboy Michael people wouldn't be celebrating me.  Best case scenario they'd think I'm an idiot and worst case scenario they'd think I'm insane.  Huh.  That's just my regular life, then, I guess, it turns out.  I don't think Beyonce is ACTIVELY making people call her Cowboy Carter.  But we don't have all the facts in front of us at this time!  Huh.  I'M NOT A COWBOY.  I'M A COWMAN.  So that's good.  Watching The Max miniature documentry series from a Film Professor about FILM.  Wow!  It's like taking an Intro To FILM Undergrad class FROM THE SAFETY from my own home.  You know how dangerous those classes can get.  Sitting in those orchestra lecture halls.  Nothing REALLY to duck and cover under if there's a nucleus bomb. 
   Halfway through the entry!  Yeah!  It has to be in the orchestra lecture hall because it's a BIG class.  Just like THE WORKING CLASS.  WE OUTNUMBER THE REST OF TEM BUT OUR POLITICAL POWER GOES UNUSED OR MISSPENT.  I'm not in the working class.  I'm making Middle Class money in my family and I don't WORK at all.  IN FACT I'M A FAT CAT in the end when you put in all the variables and crunch the numbers!  I don't like it!  SE7EN but where Kevin Spacey only does his Sevens on Cats.  For example a Fat Cat!  Feeds the cat over and over until it bursts.  Huh.  HOW are cats capable of Wrath.  Shows how much you know about Cats.  Hardly anything.  If you have to ask that question.  YOU, SIR, DO NOT KNOW CATS.  I had a cat.  Slothful!  If I had to project a Seventh Deadly Sin onto my childhood cat Definitely Gonna be Sloth.  She hardly does anything!
    Seventh paragraph.  WAS Sloth from The Goonies particularly Slothful?  I don't remember specifically seeing that!  Maybe he wasn't GIVEN THE CHANCE to work.  Different thing!  Not his fault!  Got a delicious hamburger for dinner tonight.  Delicious!  I guess.  There are also people besides black people and white people who may or may not like Cowboy Carter.  DO THEY have a dog in this fight.  What Dog.  WHAT FIGHT.  I don't know.  That reminds me though I might want to eat a couple of pieces of fried calamari cold right now.  I bought it thinking I'd eat it as a meal.  SOON I DISCOVERED I'd prefer to eat it as SNACK here and there.  Do Pacific Islanders have any thoughts about this.  They would if THEY WERE INFORMED.  Unfortunately they've been kept in the dark from this entire news event!  Might save hamburger for tomorrow IF my parents get Food Delivery for tonight.  SOMEONE GET CENTRAL ASIA ON THE LINE.
    Three paragraphs to go.  What in the world is going on other than what we already touched on.  Must be something.  Accepting an Amazon Fresh delivery any moment now within the next 2 hours.  Receiving a Sour Cream and Cheddar bag of Ruffles potato chips.  That'll solve our country's woes!  Well anyway.  That'll be a side to my hamburger!  What IS hamburger helper.  Throughout most of my life I've always been like Hmm that sounds really good.  I can't wait to try Hamurger Helper at some time.  I still JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.  Is it BEANS.  Is it RICE.  Rice sounds right.  Lemme LTURQ.  Looks like it's usually pasta.  Sometimes rice.  HUH.  I still wanna try it!  I STILL WANT TO TRY IT FOLKS.  BREAKING NEWS.  MICHAEL WANTS TO TRY HAMBURGER HELPER.  Let's get Peru's thoughts on this.
    Two paragraphs to go.  CROSSOVER where Ernie Hudson is the warden of a jail for ghosts.  YOU BUST THE GHOSTS.  NOW YOU GOTTA REHABILITATE THEM.  And it's a crossover world between Ghostbusters and Oz.  IT'S OZ PENITENTIARY featuring EM CITY.  And SLIMER is one of the Aryan Brotherhood, etc.  And Ernie himself is some sort of MIXTURE of his two characters.  Ugh.  What else is going on.  Maybe watch The Dark Knight Rises starting tonight.  I enjoyed re-watching the Regular Dark Knight.  STANDS TO REASON I'd watch it RISING as well.  YES.  Passover coming up.  Feels like it wouldn't be in the spirit of Passover to watch something RISING. Cause of BREAD.  WOULDA been in the spirit of EASTER though.  Cause of THE CHRIST.  Lost my chance there though.  What is Ernie short for.  It's clearly a nickname for something.  Can't be EDWARD.  That'd be Eddie.  ERNWARD isn't a name... WHAT AM I MISSING.  Oh.  ERNEST.  That's what I was missing.  What's the importance of being Ernest though.  YEAH.
    Last paragraph!  Wonderful.  Top choice is Pizzeria Pizza for tonight.  Delishious!  Otherwise I may as well just have a hamburger.  I like Hamburger Helper because it KNOWS it's second fiddle to the hamburger.  The best way to help hamburger is to LET HAMBURGER TO ITS THING.  be a SUPPORTING actor to the Hamburger.  Anyway.  What else is going on.  Man I'd eat Whatever My Imagination Is Producing To Me As Hamburger Helper RIGHT NOW.  DELISHIOUS.  Anyway.  The only hamburger helpers I've had in real life are French Fries and sometimes Onion Rings!  But I RESPECT that you're trying to try out new things!  Great.  Ruffles Potato Chips are hamburger helper.  Prove me wrong!  Anyway.  Tomorrow is ONE MORE CHANCE to write a good entry this week.  Then again it's also a nice BRIDGE to NEXT WEEK which would be a CLEAN SLATE for writing GREAT entries! So I could write another crappy entry to provide consistency for this shitty week.  So all in all Whatever I'll See Ya Later I Guess!

-5:24 P.M.      
  

Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Worse Things Have Happened

    Hi, friends!  What a crappy day!  I got up early for a therapist appointment, then came home and went back to sleep for four hours.  Probably not gonna accomplish any of my Walkings today.  Probably do the Treadmill for an hour tonight instead.  Burn A MERE half to two thirds of the calories.  I stooped at McDonalds and ATE a Sausage and Egg Mcguffin though for breakfast.  First time I've been in a Fast Food Restaurant not counting Coffee in a while!  And now The Fast Food is IN ME.  They know what they're doing when they make these Egg McMuffins.  Bite by bite I enjoyed it To The Max.  And the frosting on the cake is it's actually good for you!  I am NOT going to see an Improv show tonight.  INSTEAD I will go lie down soon when this is over.  YES.  Is it possible Larry David had Richard Lewis, "taken out," to give extra closure to finale of Curb Your Enthusiasm?  YES.
   Ugh.  Is it possible the band Franz Ferdinand wrote the song, "Take Me Out," to entertain their audience and put on their record?  YES.  I'm probably gonna double up on Egg for dinner.  Get some scrambled egg with bacon.  Who cares.  My cholesterol needs to be put in its place!  ANYWAY when I was getting blood work done today they were checking my weight AS THEY DO and I was like, as I got on the scale, Don't Say my weight out loud I don't wanna know AS I DO but this time around they were like ACTUALLY BY LAW I CAN'T SAY YOUR WEIGHT OUT LOUD.  Which means in the past they've broken the law repeatedly over and over.  Also I don't know what that law is for!  Lots of things about that response perplexed me!  Also they didn't make that law as a response to me repeatedly telling nurses Not To Say My Weight Out Loud.  She says the law has been on the books for a dozen years.  TWELVE YEARS A SLAVE.  Did anyone go see that movie and be like SO WHAT I'VE BEEN A SLAVE FOR THIRTY YEARS.  THIS GUY IN THIS MOVIE HAS IT EASY.  NEXT!!!!
    Huh.  Watched the two part Steven Martin documentary over the weekend.  It was pretty good!  If it were up to me there'd be more Steve Martin to go around.  But not THAT MUCH more.  A good amount more.  But we don't need AN EXTREME amount!  LARRY DAVID, "GOES TEHRE," with TRANS TALK on latest episode.  OH NO.  He's risking Cancellation.  It BORDERS on transphobic but I DON'T THINK it gets there.  AND I'M THE AUTHORITY.  I've been following Trans Talk from afar on Twitter.  Basically Larry David slept with a Trans Man when they were still presumably a lady.  And he's like NOPE.  IN ESSENCE I SLEPT WITH A LADY.  LET'S JUST LEAVE IT AT TAHT.  I think that's FAIR GAME POSITION JOKE.  But what do I know.  It's a real problem a lot of people face I guess!  WHAT IF you sleep with Trans Men pre-them-coming-out and thus have your sexuality threatened!  OH NO.  WHAT TO DO.  Larry David Route is the standard way to go.  INSIST THEY WERE ACTUALLY LADIES AT THE TIME.  Yeah!  Seems pretty straight forward.
    Fourth paragraph.  I realized it's kind of weird that Larry David went into his show 25 years ago going I'M GONNA PLAY A SUPER RICH OLD MAN.  And, I mean, sure, HE IS.  He WAS.  But he didn't have to be THAT GUY EXACTLY. He was a comedy writer.  He could have leaned into any other character.  But he was like.  NOPE.  I'm going to be a ULTRA RICH OLD WHITE JEWISH MAN.  He was in his early fifties when Curb started!  TO ME it felt like he was already an elderly person, though.  Maybe that's my neurons misfiring though.  Huh.  Curmudgeon Misanthrope Outcast.  WHY IS HE ANY OF THESE THINGS.  How did he decide to be this person!  And we all accepted this character like OH WELL CLEARLY THAT'S JUST EXACTLY WHO LARRY DAVID IS IN REAL LIFE AND THIS IS A REALITY SHOW.  Cause we're all idiots!  Anyway.  I tried the new marijuana last night.  I took one puff and it was enuogh to get me MicroHigh.  That's how HIGH the THC was!
   Six paragraphs to go.  I guess I shuold figure out a new show to Binge Watch.  How about It's Alwyas Sunny In Philadelphia.  Everyone on that show is sexy, from DANNY DEVITO ON DOWN.  Not sure how I came to that conclusion or why that's my criteria for watching shows.  I bet Danny Devito is excited when he meets children.  Not SEXUALLY.  But he's excited to meet people shorter than him.  Maybe he's excited sexually.  I don't know if he's a pedophile or not!  THAT'S DANNY DEVITO'S BUSINESS NOT MINE.  Leave celebrities alone!  Ugh.  When do people start getting shorter.  AM I ALREADY slightly shorter now at 35 than I was at 20.  CAUSE IF SO someone's gonna pay, and PAY DEARLY.  Possibly children.  Not SEXUALLY.  Just VIOLENCE WISE. Point of contention-- Non consensual sex is inherently violent.  Good.  That's FODDER for THE COMEDY WEBSITE.
    Halfway through the entry.  In Improve Class there were 2 or 3 moments where the Improver went for SHOCK VALUE for laughs!  That'll happen.  I think that's a happy medium.  Too much is too much.  NEVER is too little.  SOMETIMES is too Sometimes.  WHAT WAS I talking about again!  I dunno.  Let's see.  I started rewatching Creepshow *1982* I before I started this entry.  Good!  That's a fine Horror Anthology Motion Picture.  I like the Horror Anthologies.  They get me going boy.  It's possible if I weren't walking in life I'd just Never Not Be Sleeping.  Huh.  I've been enjoying that song I WOULD WALK 500 MILES AND I WOULD WALK 500 MORE lately.  Even before I realized it was biographical about my life.  I just liked the tune!  Then I was like OH WAIT A MOMENT, RIGHT, THIS IS ALSO EXACTLY DESCRIPTIVE ABOUT WHAT MY LIFE IS.
     Seventh paragraph!  Worked with the Kiosk at McDonalds to make my order instead of a person.  NOT A FAN.  Then again after I was done it wasn't too difficult and I got my order without problems so going forward I don't have an issue doing it again.  A FAN.  Good deal.  How much money does a Kiosk make per hour.  I guess it's less than minimum wage.  We gotta get these kiosks unionized.  They know not what they do contributing to the workers plight!  Has anyone proposed a MAXIMUM wage?  SURE IN HISTORY EVERYTHING HAS BEEN PROPOSED AT ONE TIME OR ANOTEHR.  Hmm.  Maximum Wage seems to make a lot of sense off the top of my head.  WHY should anyone make more than a thousand dollars an hour.  WHAT'S THE POINT.  Because they produce a product or service more valuable or make their company or organization or whatever Much Much more than they would be compensated by Thousand Dollars Per Hour.  OH.  WELL OKAY THEN.  I GUESS I'M JUST AN IDIOT IN THIS SCENARIO AREN'T I.
    Three paragraphs to go!  How long does it take for me to walk 500 miles.  I guess I walk abuot 6 or 7 miles a day on average.  77 days.  Good.  Huh.  I don't like Beyonce's music.  I like that it's a big thing.  I'm happy that she's achieved success and that other people are getting a kick out of it.  But I just don't get it!  I listened to the Blackbeard Cover.  That was okay!  But I wouldn't go out of my way to listen to it!  I JUST DON'T LIKE POPULAR MUSIC.  What kind of music do I like.  ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH DUMB MUSIC.  Have you heard of ME.  The genre is DUMB MUSIC and the band IS ME.  Me is My Favorite.  Anyway.  I assume at some point in my life I'll figure out Beyonce and I'll be like Oh I Get It This Is Pretty Straight Forward and I look forward to that day!  IN THE MEANTIME THOUGH I'm jealous of all the love and adoration she's getting WHEREAS I'M GETTING VERY LITTLE.  Doesn't seem completely fair.
   Penultimate paragraph!  I had a roommate in 2009 who would play All The Single Ladies over and over and over.  And over.  And over!  And did that drive me insane? No.  I was already insane.  But it didn't help!  Also he played not the album version but a clip of Oprah introducing it or something IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY.  Ah well.  Huh.  Does Beyonce REALLY fancy herself a cowboy.  Became she's a girl.  She'd be a Cowgirl.  Who should I alert with this Urgent Note.  IT'S VERY IMPORTANT.  Anyway today's entry was a snooze.  Which I guess makes sense because I slept all day leading up to it and in an ideal world I will sleep all day following it.  I HATE IT SO MUCH.  The entry.  The day.  MY LIFE.  Take yer pick.  I'm gonna stick with, "The Entry!"  Who cares about anything else.  THE ENTRY is what's important.  And it sucks.
   Last paragraph.  COWBOY CARTER track titles are in All Caps.  Big red flag for me.  I don't like it!  Anyway.  LOOK is everything gonna be tailored to my exact sensibilities I GUESS NOT.  So what.  Moving on!  ORIGIN OF TE NAME BEYONCE-- GO INTERNET, GO.  Hmm.  I think the origin of the name Beyonce is Her name was Beyonce.  Interesting Origin!  Anyway.  Entry is almost over.  What a piece of shit.  Oh.  I get to watch CREEPSHOW when this is over.  That's pretty cool.  I get to enjoy some more of Supercharged marijuana later on.  See how that works out for me.  Get to Try Again with entry tomorrow.  That'll go better than today went.  Life ain't all so bad!  You idiots.  If I was a country music fan would I be ANGRY at Beyonce this week.  I dunno.  If I was a country music fan I'd be Some Kind Of Idiot In GENERAL I guess.  Interesting.  WELL that's it.  I'll see ya tomorrow!

-5:13 P.M.     

Monday, April 1, 2024

I'll Write Something Good At Some Point

    Hey, friends!  On behalf of The Website, I welcome you to APRIL.  Had first day of Improve Class earlier!  Went pretty shitty!  I was hoping I'd be effortlessly good!  Instead, I was effortly bad!  It took me effort just to perform poorly!  Welcome to LIFE.  On the other hand the teacher and students were good.  I liked the thing when the teacher was teaching and the entire class was nodding in unison.  Normally I'd be one of the nodders.  HOWEVER since I've taken Improve 201 already I've got a bit of a head start so I can sit back and relax a bit.  None of this teaching is particularly significant.  Everyone's nodding like Ah all of this Teacher Lecture is important, Not Just Improv Advice, but LIFE LESSONS IN GENERAL.  Maybe it's just me.  I could be projecting!  But I don't think so!  I SAW LOTS OF NODDING WITH INTENT.  I respect that they want to learn.  But I don't respect that they're trying to learn too hard! Reflects poorly on their character that they want more out of it.  That sounds like something I would do.
    So that's good!  Drinking Mountain Dew.  What a treat!  Mountain Dew one of them diet sodas where it's 10 calories instead of zero.  They wouldn't be able to get away with that unless if it were Really Delicious.  Just might go see an Improve Show tomorrow night.  It's inconvenient because So Many Traveling.  But it's GOOD because hey I'm around people.  And this time it's personal.  In Heroin, is nodding off a good thing.  Or is it a sign you're about to die.  Is it ah I'm relaxing Having Some Fun Nodding Off for a bit.  Or is it Uh oh Nodding Off I hope someone intervenes before this turns real south.  My guess is somewhere in the middle.  IT USUALLY IS FUN but ya never know!  Could lead to Permanent Unconsciousness.  And then where'd you be.  Hades.  That's what they used to call Afterlife/Hell.  And what they will call Afterlife/Hell in the future.  Ancient Greek Culture gonna make a big come back.  YOU'LL SEE. 
    Okay.  I watched half of The Dark Knight last night.  I watched a ninth of The Dark Knight today.  I'll watch the remainder of The Dark Knight later tonight.  IT'S GOOD FILM.  Whenever I go on THREADS (The Chillest Social Media) they have MATH EQUATION questions trending posts.  And I don't think I'm telling on myself by saying that.  Cause I don't engage with them!  Not on purpose.  Threads sending ALL OF US Math Riddle Threads.  WHY.  I think it's to get us CONFUSED IN OUR HEADS so they can take advantage of us somewhere down the line.  IF I'M BUSY THINKING IN TERMS OF WHAT IS THE NEXT NUMBER IN THIS EQUATION then suddenly Trump is elected in November because I'VE TAKEN MY EYE OFF THE BALL.  GOD DAMN THREADS.  Sometimes I think about it and think Hey isn't it weird that there's a giant social media called THREADS.  I use it every day!  Still forget about it!  I use lots of things that I don't think about their name.  The song USE IT by The New Pornographers may or may not come to mind.  I'd listen to that song right now if that's what it came to.  Ugh.
   Ya know it occurred to me that Nepo Baby is OPEN BABY backwards.  Except we have to agree to not Baby Backwards.  I think reasonable people can agree on that!  I almost took a train to Babylon on accident today.  One part of Penn Station said go ahead, take that train, it'll get you where yuo need to go, which is a stop ON TEH WAY to Babylon.  But then another part said wait hold up... you'd have to stop on a stop ON TEH WAY to your stop... then transfer at that station anyway, so don't bother.  Which was THE RIGHT MOVE.  So I Didn't Bother.  Why do Rastafarians like Babylon so much.  I studied Ancient Babylon in school and TRUST ME it was nothing to write home about!  SIX OUT OF TEN.  WAIT A SECOND.  I just looked it up.  Rastafarians DON'T LIKE Babylon.  They think that THE WESTERN WORLD is Babylon.  They wanna get OUT of Babylon.  This.  Changes.  EVERYTHING.  Maybe they wanna stay in Babylon but Make It Better.  Sounds good.  If you can't beat em join em!  That's what Bob Marley was all about.
   Fifth paragraph.  How many billions of dollars did you lose today.  Because Donald Trump lost ONE.  Anyway.  That'll happen!  Went to The Marijuana Shoppe on my walk for hte first time this weekend.  Tried buying a new kind of Pre Rolled Marijuana.  They say it's 49% THC.  Which apparently is ABOUT TWO TIMES the logical high-end limit THC could possibly be.  ALRIGHT.  THEY'RE LYING ABOUT SOMETHING.  This MUST be great.  Gonna try that out before bedtime.  Actually, post bedtime.  Right after bedtime, I'll, "Hit," it a couple times and then go to bed.  Now you know!  I had a Taquito from 7 and/or 11 earlier this afternoon.  You know what that's like, right?  It's delicious!  What a treat!  I don't like having to put it in a container when I buy it.  I'm just gonna eat this sucker as soon as I leave the store.  Seems like a waste of resources to put this in either a hot dog cardboard container or some sort of plastic wrapper or anything.  I should just hold this in my hands while I pay for it.  AH WELL.  I'll abide by Conventions.  Even if its bad for the environment!  I play by the rules.
   Halfway through the entry.  Who do you think the Chillest Ensemble character is in The Dark Knight.  I've been digging Two Face this time around.  I Believe In Harvey Dent!  He CLEARLY exists within the reality of this film.  Unless I've been watching this movie all wrong.  Which I'm sure I have.  When they possibly inevitably use AI to make up Real Actors, Heath Ledger Joker is a strong candidate for Them To Do and People To Get Upset They're Doing.  I PROPOSE IT RIGHT NOW.  And I demand royalties.  Not sure, "Possibly inevitably," is a inherently relevant sequence of words.  Ah Well!  If you were born when The Dark Knight was released in theatres you are now old enough to drive!  If you were born when ANYTHING was released in theaters you are now old enough to drive!  Maybe not drive WELL.  Certainly not ACCREDITED to drive. But you can GIVE IT A SHOT.  Huh.  I feel comfortable to say the ad campaign for The Dark Knight CHANGED MY LIFE.  I REMEMBER TEH POSTERS.  GOOD OL POSTERS.
    Seventh paragraph.  Ugh.  A couple of Oldies in my Improvement Class!  A person or two in their 40's but YOUNG 40's and then also a person or two 40+ but OLD 40+.  WOW.  In a Women and Children first situation looks like I Won't Be Last.  ALSO does HEIGHT come into play in a Lifeboat?  FIRST WOMEN AND CHILDREN, THEN SHORT MEN, THEN TALL MEN.  That's how I would do it.  Save it For The Stage!  Hmm.  That'll probably come up sooner or later.  I guess.  Which comes first, Women OR Children.  We SAY Women before Children.  I mean, we can't just have Children without Women.  They wouldn't know what to do.  We'd be dealing with a Lord Of The Flies situation.  THEN AGAIN if we Just Had Women alone adrift in a lifeboat that'd be an equally frightening Dystopia as well.  Hmm.  Women need children around them TO TAKE THE EDGE OFF.  I may not know how Women or Children work.  Huh. 
     Three paragraphs to go!  Got some dinner going on when this is over.  We're talking Fettuccini Al Fredo. Got it all set up already.  Good stuff.  Today is an April Fools Day.  ONE OF MANY throughout history.  Thousands!  HAPPY with the seat I picked out for Today's Class.  Back Of The Room, Middle.  I get a good centered shot of everything that happens!  Only problem was that someone sat in front of me that AT TIMES blocked my view of Teacher.  And I needed to look at teacher.  If I wasn't making eye contact with teacher when he was teaching how would he know I was Internally Nodding Along With Him WITH MY EYES.  He wouldn't, that's who.  Also at times my view of Improv was encumbered. That's a slight negative too.  Ah well.  Live and learn.  I learnt nothing.  I will sit in the same spot next week.  Ah well.
   Penultimate paragraph.  Batman Begins was a movie a few years earlier, sure, but before its release The Dark Knight was ALREADY CULTURALLY HUGE.  Even before Heath Ledger POSTHUMOUSLY PASSED AWAY.  I'm not sure exactly how or why.  BECAUSE IT'S BATMAN AND EVERYONE ENJOYS THE JOKER.  Anyway.  My Masturbation Code Name is Health Edger.  Anyway.  IMPROV CLASS PAYING OFF ALREADY.  Batman's Friend's name is Jim Gordon.  Not JAMES Gordon.  Not JIMMY Gordon.  JIM Gordon.  Not sure what that accomplishes.  What else is going on and crap.  I've dropped down to 40/60 that I'll see Improve Show tomorrow night instead of 60/40!  I'm TIRED right now.  Why would I wanna see the show tomorrow night if I'm Tired Right Now?  Doesn't add up.  Better go on Threads to work on some Brain Teasers if I wanna get stuff adding up!
    Last paragraph.  Lemme see what else is going on and whatknot.  Today my performance in Improv class was D.  Today my performance in Entry was C.  On Whatever Kind Of Scale We're Playing With Today.  And you can take that TO THE BANK!!  Anyway.  WHAT FLIES.  I read The Lord Of The Flies and I've seen the Lord Of The Flies parody Simpsons Episode 30 times and WHAT FLIES.  Hmm.  Probably are Some Flies but NOTHIN COMING TO ME.  Don't even get me started on Who Is The Lord Of Them.  GONNA GUESS RALPH.  Book Ralph.  Not Simpsons Ralph.  I believe the closest equivalent to Book Ralph is Simpsons Bart.   Sure.  Ugh.  Gotta wake up early again tomorrow.  Therapy appointment.  We're talking TEN MINUTES of therapy.  This person seems to think I'm diabetic.  Gotta remind her each time She's Off Base There.  So that's good news.  Each and every therapy session I'm downgraded from Mentally Ill And Diabetic to just Mentally Ill!  YES.  Alright!  I'll see ya tomorrow! 

-7:59 P.M.                   
   
      
   
           

Contact: mankindguy@gmail.com