Tuesday, July 30, 2019
Ain't Nobody That Can Title Like Me
I hope not, at least. I've spent my entire post-adolescent life
specializing in writing titles, so if I'm not even the best at that, the
prospects I have for my future are pretty dim! All this Life
Devoted To Titles, all gone with the wind. Was gone with the wind
a phrase people used before the movie/book? I know it's in the song
Tuesday's Gone ["Tuesday's gone with the wind," so they say], was just listening
to that, and it's sort of meant to say Ah it's gone... with... ok the
wind I guess this explanation doesn't really elaborate on what it means...
anyway the meaning of, "Gone With The Wind," were it to be a real phrase, is
like... well,... umm... like... like
Hey and we're back! Tuesday's
gone with the wind. There was a Tuesday, something happened on Tuesday
or it was important for some reason. Tuesday was a day that existed.
Now it's gone! With the wind! Forget about Tuesday, is the point.
It's over and done with-- there' that's a good summation of what Gone With The
Wind Would Mean If It Turns Out It's A Phrase Beyond Being A Title.
Somethin' happened, over and done with now, gone with the wind, that sounds
more poetical than over and done with, doesn't it? Anyway what
else is going on. Oh, right. I was actually gonna Fact-Check if it's
a real phrase that means what I say it means or if Lynyrd Skynyrd was just makin'
stuff up. Internet seems to agree that basically, "The phrase was popularized
by..." which means it did exist as a phrase beforehand but then became more
popular because of how much People Love Titles
I've never seen (or read) Gone With The Wind, but obviously
I've heard the title plenty of times because it's supposed to be an iconic
movie. Whenever I conceptualized the title, though, I never thought of it
in terms of the purported meaning of the phrase. It just seemed to Be What
It Is. Some Iconic movie, Gone With The Wind. No meaning there,
that's just what some Iconic Movie Is. The only things I know about it are
two lines of dialogue that, I am just realizing, Slant Rhyme. "Frankly, my
dear, I don't give a damn," and, then, later, "Play it a... WIAIT THAT'S
CASABLANCA WHAT A SCAM." Turns out all of the history of Hollywood is
a huge scam trying to get us of my generation who know the iconic movies Gone
With The Wind and Casablanca By Name And The Scam Is To Get Us To Conflate Them
And Presumably They Reap The Benefits!
Such is life. Pretty sure they would never be able
to make Casablanca these days. Here in America we say White House.
Love it or leave it! Something along those lines, I don't know.
Music isn't innocent of conflating titles, though, either. I confused
Tuesday's Gone with Freebird all the time! Well, lets be honest, they're
pretty similar songs. Somethin's gone with the wind in one song, and some
guy is free as a bird in another. He's free as a bird now because Tuesday
is gone with the wind. Somethin' was keepin' him caged up on Tuesday and
now Tuesday is gone he's a free as a bird-- which I guess are very free somehow?
My guess is because of the flying-- for some reason. Anyway such is life
for some reason, I guess the next paragraph is the fourth!
If Lynyrd Skynyrd was a band today they would drop the
Lynyrd and just be a MathRock band called Skynyrd. (and pronounce
it differently) Also, full disclosure-- not 100% what mathrock is.
Pretty sure I've heard that phrase before, and pretty sure I wouldn't like
MathRock, but also am pretty sure you know what I could imagine a scenario
where something called MathRock is something I'm into but what I'm assuming is
currently called MathRock in the real world I wouldn't be into.
That's life I guess. Mathrock could be great but based on the Nothing I
know it probably isn't. Oh well, live and learn, what else is going on.
Today's the fifteenth paragraph! TRUE THOUGHT I JUST HAD FOR A SENTENCE
TO WRITE. In reality I meant this is the fifth paragraph.
Got a couple of the nouns wrong, but so what, nobody's perfect, right?
Anyway. If I was Sam, I'd be like don't tell me what to do. I'll
play this piano when I feel like... I just happen to feel like it right now...
We Gon Go Crazy
That's my job description. My mission statement. My topic
sentence, my philosophy, my reason for being. Also, I wrote We
instead of I'm because I'm Have Done Gon Go Crazied. I
shouldn't have to explain every little thing to you! Drinkin' some alcohol
today. Usin' bottle as a prop, too. The last few years, I drink
alcohol, I pour the alcohol in the glass, usually mixed with something, put it
back in the drawer, and then take it out again when I need a refill.
Probably settled into that routine because at first I was hiding it from my
parents so based on the .0000000000025% chance they'd somehow want to get into
my room without me being able to stop them, they wouldn't see it. Now, I
realize, I've been actin' a fool! I pour myself a drink, I leave that nice
bottle on the table, by my drink, I really get into the spirit of things!
Sure puns are intended! Puns are always intended! That's why they're
Wonderful, just wonderful. Seventh paragraph over all.
Went to the Laundromat today! Ya'll know what that's like. I go to
the Laundromat, I make them do the laundry for me! Sure it costs
more that way, but it's the little things in life I like to spoil myself on.
What, you want me to sit in front of a machine and what my clothes go up
and down back and forth up and down back and forth for several hours?
I don't play that game! Make someone else do it for me, that's how I
roll for some reason. For some reason, Microsoft FrontPage insists that
laundromat is only spelled correctly with a capital L. What the Hell?
Is Laundromat a brand name that I'm unaware of? Is it like the Kleenex of
Places You Can Get Your Clothes Washed? I'm gonna look into this on the
internet because Hey The Internet Is Already Here Might As Well Consult It For
Facts. Anyway. Internet does confirm its a registered trademark but
I'm still not really sure Why or By Who.
That means if you want to talk about Laundromats in movies
you gotta pay royalties to some place that owns the word Laundromat? That
doesn't sound right! Anyway, what else is going on. Pretty sure
that's not how things work. You're always allowed to just use words to
reference things. Nothin' wrong there. Anyway, its the eighth
paragraph you dummies. I think it would be fun to live in a slightly
alternate reality where Merriam Webster owns all the words and we
have to pay them for each and every word we use commercially. Seems like a
fun scenario which our reality could be forced to become accustomed to.
Anyway the next paragraph is the ninth lets get on the same page there and
everything. What else is going on.
I like the idea of congress actually truly holding Trump &
Administration & Political and Business Partners accountable because it sort of
gives us the out of just ignoring all the stupid/racist/offensive/bullshit
things he says. He calls a respected black congressman a racist.
Now, in the past, we'd all freak out! What the Hell! This shouldn't
happen! New scenario-- congress is truly looking into his crimes, moving
forward with holding him accountable-- Hey Trump is being a dick what else is
going on. They're gonna worry about it so we don't have to!
Seems like a fantasy world to me, but there it is I guess hopefully. Now,
of course, Trump can commit brand new crimes and corruptions and misdeeds--
still gotta worry about that. But all that Distraction Crap Stuff he does,
maybe we can learn to tune that crap out a bit (unless it effects us
personally-- like for example the racism does-- in which case-- sorry.)
Cause, yeah, it's true, even just saying racist things can
lead to concrete consequences, but, c'mon, please, just let me live in a reality
where I can tune that crap out for myself at least! I beg ya! But,
no, on the other hand, this can be for all of us. Imagine. Trump is
a racist. Big deal. We know that. Media moves on to the next
thing because He's Being Investigated And He'll Pay For His Crimes. No
reason to amplify his racism or venom or anything. Not a big story
anymore. Let him be a baby in his own little world and we'll move on with
holding him accountable in our adult and responsibility-driven reality, and life
will go on. Fantasy! Let's Fantasy it up! The good
thing about fantasies is that they're possible until they're proven to be
unrealistic. Oh well, such is life I guess! What's the next
What Else Ya Got
I don't know, does more paragraphs interest you?
If so, right this way! If not, turn to page 67 and sit on it Potsie.
Got Lunch to be ready in about 20 minutes. What a wonderful world and
whatnot. I'm conflicted about getting Snapple or Arizona Iced Tea from the
supermarket. Snapple tastes better. But Diet Arizona Iced Tea
insists it's a true zero calorie beverage. Whereas Diet Snapple claims to
be either 5 or 10 calories per serving, depending on the exact flavor. I
mean, zero, that's the dream, right? It's not the same as debating between
something that's 40 calories or 45 calories. Same difference, but
psychologically, gettin something that's a big fat zero has such appeal that its
hard to say no to, even if its honestly not quite as good. That's how I
feel about things and I'm going to the supermarket tomorrow so we'll see how
that all shakes out in due time.
12th paragraph! Figure 20 is within reach today.
Laundromat @ 2:00 PM. Picking it up this time! First time I go, I
drop it off. Then later in the day I pick it up. Some people stay
for the duration if they're doing it themselves. Me, I don't stay, I have
them do it, but I go there twice just to take care of it to the extent I have
to. Anyway. I'm gonna start to be more conscious of whether
Laundromats use the word Laundromat in their Store Title. And, if so, are
they doing it correctly or irresponsibly? I'll have to say I need to
speak to the manager... it's a question of semantics... also, not a bad title
for a block of paragraphs, "Here's Some Antics," something along those
lines... wait why am I saying that to you, you know nothing of my secret website
shame. I hate it when workers at the Laundromats trick us into talking
to them about our secret shames. It happens all the time and frankly
that's why people don't go to Laundromats anymore.
13th paragraph! Figure I'll most likely take lunch out
of the oven after this one. I don't know 100% what this says about me, but
I was told I might need a colonoscopy by my endocrinologist, because my iron was
low, which could mean polyps or hemorrhoids or something, and my first thought
was well that's good finally I'm an adult doing adults things. Then
I was like well that's a hassle and not sure if I want the nuts and bolts of
what that test would entail but the first thought was my parents have
been telling me for years, Mom had colon cancer, Dad has polyps all the time,
most people start gettin' colonoscopies when they're 50, I should when I'm 40
because of that history, and now I need one now and I'm like Well,
Adulthood, I Have Arrived! Oh and also hopefully I don't have
colon cancer, that too, we'll have to wait to find out! But, also, yeah
lets see what's going on in there!
The pursuit of knowledge is always a positive thing.
That's my opinion about life. Hey that paragraph is over might as well
take lunch out of the oven now. Be right back dummies! Hey I'm
back. I'd still be happy to not have to have the colonoscopy.
Nothing is better than anything. But the point is I'm not only back but
I'm eating lunch at the same time as being back. Similar lunch to a lunch
I described a few weeks ago. I forget when exactly, but I remember reading
about it when I was looking over past entries. Steak, Egg Whites, Rye
Toast, and some French Fries. It's the life, being able to eat stuff,
right? I mean, sometimes you might feel like your life is a big fat zero
but then you remember oh right I get to eat crap as well as my life being
nothing so you realize well there's something right there!
Being a consumer of deliciousness. Whatta scam. Enjoying meals
three times a day, having some snacks, not gaining weight, and
it's Great just enough to keep us from killing ourselves completely.
I'm onto your game, food!
Is it weird that I feel self conscious about
switched up my order in a small way from Starbucks/Dunkin Donuts? Like,
say I wanna try a regular iced coffee instead of a cold brew. Or I want to
try full milk instead of skim milk. I'm worried that my new order will
either confuse them or anger them. Maybe it'll be like, but, wait...
hold on a second. You've been coming here regularly and you get the same
thing... and now you want something different? ...I better go get the manager.
And it's either because of confusion or rage I assume, I'm not sure, I don't
know. It's my own thing, really. Also, it's not just that it mucks
things up for that one occasion. The entire future of my going there is
altered. Now it's been introduced into our relationship that consistency
means nothing, there is no routine we can rely on, and I can change whims on the
drop of a hat or something. In the end, it all adds up to yeah this is
all stupid nonsense but its so much stupid nonsense that it actually prevents me
from changing up the order in Real Life.
Hey What's It All About
paragraph. Presumably 5 to go. Figure I'll take a walk after
this is done. That'll leave me ample time to be home before I have to pick
up crap at the Laundromat. Also, I'm seriously thinking about
adding, "laundromat," to Microsoft FrontPage's dictionary. It will have
little practical consequences, it won't come up that much in the future in the
specific role of writing entries. It's more a question of how it'll make
me feel. Will I feel better committing to using the word without
capitalizing it, or will I feel better sticking to how it should be? I
don't know. I'll have an answer by the end of the entry, believe you me.
Which I believe is the sequel to Call Me By Your Name. You call
someone by your own name enough, you're eventually gonna be like I Believe
You Me. Think about it! Not too hard! A little hard!
Maybe like 15-35% hard!
Four to go! I can't believe it. This entry
went pretty well. I attribute it to, not just drinking alcohol, but having
the bottle on the desk where I could see it. Really made me feel like a
real writer. You know, like in the style of Hemmingway or London or
something. I don't know much about the history of writing but I am under
the impression that alcohol has played a big role in it as far as I know.
Anyway. Done drinking for the day most likely. Had ~4 drinks.
I guess. Put the bottle of alcohol way even though I'm not done because I
am done pouring more and it's impractical to leave it out on the table with no
concrete reason for it to be there at all. I mean, if I'm doing that, I
might as well just take out the bottle every time I write an entry, put it by my
laptop, and never drink a drop. Is that what you'd like? Should that
be the future I devise for myself? Get back to me at
Penultimate to the penultimate. I guess.
I'm not 100% sure how long this has been going on exactly, but I've gotten in
the habit of eating things without using utensils, and justifying it in my mind
when I half think about it as something other people do. Like, eating
rice. I have no idea if this is true, but nowadays I pick up clods of
white rice with my fingers, eat it that way, and sort of half think well this
is how they do it in China in reality, not a lot of people know that.
Did I hear that somewhere and it's based on fact? I don't know!
Maybe! Seems like something that would be an interesting piece of trivia
and who knows its possibly true! But, on the other hand, Hey
Ummm you've heard of chopsticks don't Chinese people use that? Doesn't
everyone kind of know that? But, anyway, it also extends to other
stuff that I know other people don't eat without utensils. It's
just more fun to pick stuff up and eat it with your fingers/hands. I mean,
wash 'em afterwards, sure. But use your hands to eat stuff! It's
like reconnecting with a primal urge that we as modern human beings have
unfortunately disconnected from!
Two to go! Wonderful. Maybe I'll top
myself off with one more drink. That'll learn 'em, that'll learn all
of 'em. Figure this'll be the last entry of July. Whatta month.
Now its been 4 months since my last cigarette, but the last week or so, I've
really been jonesing for a cigarette. I partly blame it on seeing Once
Upon a Hollywood Time where they smoke cigarettes a lot in. It's good to
blame things in your life on things you've seen on TV or at the movies!
They can't offer any rebuttals to defend themselves and it removes you from
accepting responsibility for your own damn life! That's how I feel for
some reason. Anyway, gonna take a walk after this is done. Then
I'll be back with plenty of time to Go To The Laundromat. Sounds like a
blast, whatta real blast and whatnot. Democratic Debate tonight and
tomorrow night. I'm rooting for them to advance a narrative of Biden vs
Harris Part II! because it'll give some fun coverage to two candidates
people like me don't consider to be in our top tier but who the establishment
would like to be in our top tier! Sounds like a fun narrative to me, lets
go for it! Plus, Bernie and Warren! That'll contribute to
there B Narrative-- the left is going after itself! It's fun
knowing what will happen at the debates beforehand presumably.
Last paragraph. Who knows what'll happen, not
me. It could be 100% as I predict or I could be 100% way off!
That's the fun of living life. Never know if your preconceived notions are
gonna turn out to be correct, partly correct, or completely way off base!
And every single day we get to test our preconceived notions yet again, and see
where that takes us! What fun. Anyway, I dunno. Gonna
get another iced coffee on my walk. Probably a cold brew. With skim
milk. And 5 Splenda. And Sugar Free French Vanilla. Hey,
consistency has gotta be worth something, right? That's another reason
to stick by your standard Coffee Order. Fuck what they think. What
do you think? Are you happy being the model of reliability and
consistency? Or do you wanna throw that all away just to see once more
hey I wonder how Iced Coffee tastes compared to Cold Brew? Just stick
with Cold Brew, you dummy. I'll see ya later.
Friday, July 26, 2019
What a Wonderful Title
I was inspired by the world. Ah, who am I kidding, the world
is a shitshow. But anyway, this entry might be okay! Lets find out
together. Friday Early Afternoon Entry. July Entry. 2019.
Anyway, the Mueller hearing was 2 days ago and he went on record saying the
president has committed crimes and that he would have been charged if not for
the belief tht you can't charge a sitting president but also that once he's not
president you can charge him. And the media was like what a win for
Trump! Bad optics for the Democrats! Wasn't exciting enough!
The cynical part of me is like are you fucking serious with that shit?
You obviously just don't want to report The Truth because for some reason you
don't want to advance that message but also before they started that
narrative on TV my Mom was like this isn't exciting this is a let down so
I guess they really are speaking to how Dumb People Of That Generation perceived
What did you expect, Mueller to bring an assault rifle and
shoot up all the Republicans trying to defend Trump? Did you want him to
say I placed a bomb in the oval office and if you don't play my game it will
explode once every day until my demands are met. Really, I don't get
it, what the Hell were you looking for? Anyway the good news is Wait a
second there's a reality I can create for My Life where I just stop caring.
Get a job somehow, live somewhere I won't be exposed to MSNBC all day, and just
fucking move on with my own crap. It's crazy enough it just might work!
Hmm that's a good title for my resume especially if Crazysheet is listed as a
qualification or past work experience. Maybe instead of it's I
use I'm. I'M CRAZY ENOUGH I JUST MIGHT WORK.
Sounds good to me! Saw Once Upon a Time in
Hollywood yesterday. Which, translated into English, reads Eleven Upon
a Time in Hollywood. Cracked that code! It was a pretty
good movie but it ended after 2 and a half hours so a lot of good that did me!
I thought I was gonna be relatively lightly entertained indefinitely for the
rest of my life! Turns out it ended as quickly as it started and I'm back
here in this ShitShow of a world. What else is going on. Did
some drinkin' last night. I was inspired by the movie. Drinking
isn't a huge part of the movie but it does occur on several occasions and I was
like hey that's a good idea I'd like to alter my state relatively lightly
also it'll entertain me indefinitely for a few hours Again Alright let's keep it
rolling! Then I woke up today and all that was gone but Here I Am
Sounds good to me. What else is going on.
Fourth paragraph! I've been really fantasizing about going to
Disney World lately. Started last weekend. I was just browsing
Disney World Resort Hotels online and I was focusing in on the one I believe my
family stayed at back in 1997 and jonesing for it hard. I think part of
that reminiscing is because it was 1997 and only a short time before OH
YEAH REPUBLICANS IMPEACHED A DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENT A REALLY RELATIVELY SHORT TIME
AGO FOR LYING ABOUT SEX AND HE DIDN'T EVEN COMMIT CAMPAIGN FINANCE LAWS TO COVER
IT UP NOR WAS IT UN-CONSENSUAL NOR SERIALLY UN-CONSENSUAL ALSO HE DIDN'T COMMIT
COLLUSION OR OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE* OR CORRUPTION OR... so the
point is let's all party like it's 1999! And by PARTY LIKE IT'S 1999! I
mean Fuckin' Impeach this guy RIGHT NOW.
Sounds good to me. Also, here's a
guarantee-- I'm 100% sure-- the next Democratic president (if there is one) will
100% be impeached if the Republicans control the house. Doesn't matter for
what, how trivial it is or anything. Has absolutely no difference whether
he did anything wrong or how serious it will have been. That will happen
either way. When they go low, we go high! So when they cheat and
steal elections and usurp power and defy law and order, you, "go high?"
Yup! Up into the sky! We cede the ground to them and escalate
up to the 20th, 25th floors! Lotta good that does us. Anyway,
fifth paragraph! I figure I'll take a Walking Break after maybe the 10th
paragraph or so. It's good because it's a multiple of 5! It's even a
multiple of 10! It's One Of Those!
Jeez. Why I can't I just live in a world where there's
a Manson Family and they may or may not want to kill me and others. You
know, a simpler time and place? Sounds like a fantasy world to me.
Alternate Route For Life To Go-- Let's Party Like It's 1999 by delivering a
pizza but it's a prank pizza order and we go Aw Crud and get frozen and
wake up 1000 years later and become friends with a robot and a Cyclops.
Either way sounds okay by me. The point is either way c'mon let's get
into a 1999 type of mood those were good days! I feel like there
should be a word for 20 years. a DoubleDecade. But a simpler word
with less syllables. I mean, two or three syllables, tops. Let's
figure this one out, its one of the most pressing issues I could imagine.
Anyway, great, what paragraph are we into now. Seventh!
I don't believe it! But the evidence is staggering. Starting to
think I really should check out that video of my comedy. For a
pretty selfish and self-absorbed reason-- I kinda forget 100% how it went and
feel like watching it might be amusing. Like, I'll be like, hey that
guy's actually pretty funn... WAIT HOLY SHIT ITS ME I'm A STAR!
However, on the other hand, I'm still pretty sure I Look and Sound Like a Jerk.
So any modicum of possible humor would be cancelled out by my lack of confidence
in how I present myself physically to the world. Oh well, such is life and
so on and so forth. I watched Aziz Ansari's special a few days ago.
I was like, wait, hold on. ... He did some Sex Thing Bad and now we're
just supposed to move on? I dunno about that!... on the other hand...
Hmm... wait, What's a sex thing? Not just his Bad Sex Thing but explain
All Sex Things to me right now.
My judgment in such cultural sticky situations is
clouded by the fact that I don't know what Sex or Intimate Relationship Things
are. I haven't been on ONE DATE in my entire life! WHAT THE HELL.
That explains why a website is my best friend, though, I guess. I do have
faith that I will have a girlfriend at one point or another but its gonna be
weird cause I'll be like This has never happened to me before. None of
this. I have no idea how this is supposed to go or how I act or what this
is. Oh well such is life. I guess I could date a 14 year
old so at least we're in the same page. But, then again, no. We'd
have nothing in common! Also, if we had sex, that's rape! Not
that I'd want to have sex with someone I don't have anything in common with!
That's Rude! And I'm a Good Guy! Best to date someone my age who
will have sex with me because we have things in common and who will just see me
as an equivalent to a 14 year old in intimacy.
So we got that to look forward to! Sorry.
What else is going on. Ninth paragraph! Man what a ShitShow.
I don't like the term Fortnight but I also don't like how its fallen out of
favor. I think it was a mistake to make up and use the word in the first
place, but once we started, c'mon, see it through to the finish. You can't
just quit saying a word because you don't like it anymore! Why is it
called a fortnight. Hey you know, "A Week," right?
Yeah it's seven days. I got this new word for Two of Those.
Hit me! A, "Fortnight." Yeah but that mentions
nights not sure how its relevant. Yeah but it combines it with a
Fort. You know, like forts? Not sure where you're going with
this. I'm not going anywhere with this this is it, no further to
go, what you see is what you get. Not 100% what this is but now
that we've started we gotta see it through to the end no getting rid of
Oh so that's why I've never had a girlfriend.
I'm insane. Alright makes sense to me carry on. It's kind
of embarrassing how much I take note of license plates when I'm on my walks.
I mean, I'm used to them all by now, having taken 3 walks a day for months and
months. Fair amount of vanity license plates on my walk, obviously I'm
gonna remember those, but I even sorta remember some regular ones. Like,
one that goes FWF, and every time I see it I think of going Something
something something I Falafel About It. That's more or
less what my life has been for months going on years. That little anecdote
sums it up. So, great, I'm takin' a walk in a minute. I'll try to
take some Fascism-Scouting-Notes about some other license plates and let you
know my thoughts on those as well. No I won't. I thought
about it briefly while writing the sentence just now but was immediately like
nah I don't actually wanna do that. But I'll see ya later soon!
What, There's More?
Why not. I was thinking about it, and what's more intimate than
reveling in the absurd together? That's one thing I think I can excel at.
I can properly mirror human behavior, I think, to give the impression that we
could have a potential shared experience, which, for reading this crap, is
appreciating absurdity! And I mean, "mirror," in the most generous sense.
I'll really be on the same page as you, no fooling! I'm not trying
to trick ya! Let's just feel the same way about things and that'll foster
some intimacy, sure! Anyway, it's the eleventh paragraph, or as the
Spanish might say, the Once Upon a Paragraph. I guess. Got myself a
beer! Talk about a shared experience! No I wasn't. But
the point is Great What Else Is Going On.
I like how we call ourselves Americans and primarily Native
Populations Latinos. Hey, this is America, they might say,
aren't we Americans? No, we're the Americans.
You're Latinos. But you're the ones from Europe where Rome and
Latin stuff is from. Nope you got it mixed up. We're the ones
from here, you're from somewhere else. But we're from here.
Man you got this all backwards! Such is our ShitShow. If
I was running for president in 2020, my first instinct would be for my slogan to
be Make America America Make. I was just gonna say Make America
America Again but halfway through I realized there's no joke there, nor is
it particularly insightful or salient, so I was like hmm I'm gonna make a
word palindrome see where that takes us.
Palindrome, some sort of dystopia where Sarah Palin is the
next president. I remember thinking back around half a duodecade ago
man man I bet Sarah Palin is gonna be the next president that'd be
fuckin' crazy. And it turns out America was like NOT CRAZY
ENOUGH! Whatta wonderful ShitShow. I I think
it's intellectually lazy to characterize these times as crazy.
How about horrifying or incredibly dangerous or something like
that? Instead of just boy this is nuts you keepin' up with this?
how about ... ... ...I don't now how else to respond to things, my fuckin'
title is CrazySheet, I was designed to only react to things as if they were
crazy! I'M NOT QUALIFIED TO REACT PROPERLY TO THE TIMES WE'RE IN!
Something like that, I don't know. 14th paragraph!
Seems like 20 is the thing to do, no? Yep. I can learn, though.
Just gotta start horrifyingsheet.net. But people will think it's a
CreepyPasta just dedicated to the subset of ghosts which are covered with
bedsheets. And that's catering to a real niche that I'm not sure is
sustainable. I remember when I was a kid Snopes.com was a big thing I
liked. It used to be primarily Horror Urban Legends and stuff, fun stuff
like that. As opposed to now being mostly stuff like Did Hillary
Clinton Run a Pedophilia Ring out of a Pizza Parlor-- not enough evidence!
It used to be stuff like will a ghost show up in your mirror if you chant
their names enough-- not enough evidence! Pretty
much everything, then and now, is Not Enough Evidence. That's the
responsible way to go. If everything is Not Enough Evidence, then what
the Hell is the point of the website in the first place? It's a
good place to share insane, unsubstantiated rumors against your political
opponents! Oh I see carry on.
Hey 15th paragraph how about that. I think I was
truly traumatized with Bathroom Things. Let me explain. Those
Bloody Mary stories where if you look in the mirror and a ghost appears, I mean,
yeah, I didn't believe it. But it didn't stop me from being
scared of it. Even today! And, yeah, I'm not gonna somehow
accidentally say Bloody Mary out loud three times, or even once.
But sometimes I'm like, jeez, I don't know, maybe even thinking it
three times would do it. Blo... FUCK IM ABOUT TO DO IT ONCE NO GOTTA STOP
STOP STOP STOP BLOODY MARY FUCK ONLY TWO MORE TO GO NO NO NO NO BL...
TO THIS DAY THAT HAPPENS TO ME. The second thing was, the
scene(s) from The Shining with the lady in the bathtub made me scared of that
somehow. I guess primarily when the shower curtain was closed. I
mean, if its open, obviously there's no ghost old lady there. But if it's
closed, I don't know what's behind there! It could be anything!
Psycho never really scared me. I wasn't of the
generation for it. I don't even know if I've ever actually seen the whole
movie. Although, lately, the last year or two, I've actually developed a
new thing. Which is that, I'm scared I'll be taking a shower and the
lights will suddenly go out and I'll be in the dark. That's it.
Hmm. I'm a frightened little boy is the point of the entry I guess?
Yeah that sounds about right. What else is going on. I found it
really weird that they made a movie of Slenderman that obviously was
capitalizing on that case where the two kids murdered their friend because of
it. Weird because who decided it was a good idea that they should make
money off such a tragedy and also weird because it made me ponder wonder
if those two kids are gettin' any royalties from this movie. Seems like
they should, right? Did Quinton Tarentino need to pay Charles Manson
for this latest movie? I don't know, these are important questions though.
Hey 17th paragraph how about that. This was a decent
entry! Started out recounting my recollections of The ShitShow that is
every day and somehow ended up where I'm crackin' wise about being a
frightened little boy but it's all in good fun anyway. Are those two
topics really that separate? Yeah! The ShitShow is what Really
Scares Me and the urban legends are the Fun Version Of Scary. Get with the
times! When I was walking to the movie theater yesterday, I passed by a
ladder on the sidewalk, and there was some space to walk between it and the
building, under it, or behind it. I was like well this is easy, I know
what to do here. I'm gonna steer clear of this bad luck mess altogether!
I pity the people who didn't think hard enough about this situation and are just
gonna walk under the ladder because they're not paying attention. They'll
pay for their sins of indifference one day, but me, no bad luck for me, not
Wonderful, just wonderful. Three paragraphs to
go theoretically. Hey, if Tarentino can make money off Charles Manson, why
can't they make money off of Slenderman? Manson was 50 years ago.
Slenderman was less than 5. It's the age old entertainment equation,
"Tragedy + Time = Profits!" That's how I feel.
Wonderful, just wonderful. I like it when actors play actors in movies.
That seems like fun. I can relate because it's not far off at all from a
crazy person writing in the tone of a crazy person. Anyway, I started
writing an entry last week, after the last one, and got three paragraphs in, but
was just devolving into horror of the Send Her Back chant. I'm not
gonna re-get into it here, because there's a reason I had to stop completely,
but, just, c'mon. Please, 'Merica. No more.
19th paragraph! I always thought someone named Erica
should have a morning show on AM radio and call it A.M. Erica [also double
AM] Always. I was born thinking that and not once in my 30.5
years has it left my mind. It's beyond consuming. It's all I have or
ever will know. Anyway, jeez. Related thought that I
always thought-- Eminem has a song The Way I Am and I always
reacted to it, like, Ah, the way he, "A Minors," like the musical chord A
Minor. Which is a sad chord, if you know music. Kinda a depressing
chord. He's not really into the music part of music, more lyrics, but this
song is the way he A Minors. Like a crazy person
writing like a crazy person. You get what you give. Anyway,
getting close to the end of the entry. I would never rape a minor because
it's rude. That's another take away from this entry? Now that
theres, that's a C#. I don't fuck with c#s.
Possibly last paragraph, possibly I go overboard, I
dunno yet! Wanna hear something weird? I haven't had a TV for 3
months! That's roughly 1/4th of a year! I dunno what's going on with
Conan 'O Brian or anything! Hope he's doing well. Thoughts
and prayers. What else is going on. There's a deli/convenience
store/something like that on my walk that's called New Mart. And
every time I pass it, I think, Hellooooo Nnnnewmart. The point is
there's lots of stuff I walk by all the time and I have humorous routine
reactions to them that all constitute a It's A Life About Nothing. How
entertaining. Anyway, what else in the wide world of sports is gonna aid
me in the wrapping up of this entry. I broke a second string on my
acoustic guitar while trying to restring the original broken string. So
the point is I guess I don't play acoustic guitar anymore. Oh well,
I had a good run. There's always Electric Guitar But I Dunno I Keep That
in Its Case Since I Used To Not And Then It Got So Dirty When I Had It Fixed The
Guy Shamed Me For How Dirty It Was So Now It Stays In The Case. Something
along those lines, sports, I dunno. Internet Intimate Absurdity.
Catch ya later.
* Ah, but he was found to have committed Obstruction of Justice
in his Impeachment! Mueller just said Trump did, too.
Ah, never mind then! That line of argument no longer justifies my
defending a criminal! But remember that brief moment I poked a hole in
your story? Yeah that was very brief until I turned it on you.
Ah, but there was that brief moment you had doubt! Let's live in that
moment for all the rest of time! But its over, now.
You said obstruction of justice justified impeachment, I turned it on you, and
then you acted like it doesn't matter. Ah, but now, uhhh,, HEY
LOOK OVER THERE! [runs away]
Thursday, July 18, 2019
Everyone Read Entry
Well, everyone whose reading the entry will read the entry.
...I... see... Great that's achieving 20% of your senses down, only
80% to go! What's up, this is the second entry of the working week.
I'm having fun keeping track of The Working Week even though I don't work.
I project it onto listening to music during my Circle Walking. July 15, I
was listening to music, and I was all like, to myself, alright Monday nobody
likes Mondays! Hey better listen to, "Monday," by Wilco. That's
how I choose to live my life for some reason. Anyway, now it's Thursday,
the weekend is in sight (Man, good for you for keeping seeing things!
You're really mastering this one sense! Makes me think you'd excel at
practicing other senses, too, if you really tried!)
Huh. Second paragraph. One of the most
contentious subjects in my household the last few weeks has to do with the
freezer. A month or two ago, the supermarket had a special where they just
gave away 10 frozen hamburgers and some frozen chicken breasts. I think it
must have been right before Memorial Day, so this was like some sort of thing
for grilling BBQs or something. So now we got all this meat we're never
gonna eat clogging up the freezer. And I know we're never gonna eat it.
Dad and Mom must know it, too, but they refuse to acknowledge it completely.
I'm sure they realize I'm right when I tell them Jesus I need this space in
the freezer! You're mucking up my compartmentalizing and you know as well
as I do its for nothing in the end!
Oh well, their house, their rules. Their freezer,
their rules. What, do I think hamburgers just grow on trees?
I don't know. Give 'em to a homeless shelter or something. In a post
modern city, shouldn't there just be a place in every neighborhood that doesn't
necessarily have to be a full fledged homeless shelter, but just a place nearby
where you can bring food which would otherwise go to waste, or old clothes or
furniture or anything really? Like, a place literally within walking
distance of everyone's residency. Why not. It would be good!
Society should do things that are good, that's my opinion. And not do
things that are bad! I feel very strongly about this. Anyway.
Just had Lunch #1. That's how I've been rolling the last few days.
Back into the thing where I have 2 smaller lunches instead of one big lunch.
Lunch today was Two Chocolate Chip Cookies. Relatively big ones!
It's actually a pretty big lunch all things considered.
That's over now but the memory of eating those cookies
will last forever. Really! Eating the must have had some sort of
impact on the last few paragraphs, what with them being written while the eating
of the cookies proceeded. It's pretty much impossible to point to a
specific sentence or line of rambling and say that there was due to the
cookie but it presumably had some sort of influence in what I've been
writing. Anyway, what else is going on. Fourth paragraph!
Maybe go take a Walk & Coffee break after, I don't know, ten? Sounds good
to me! Anyway. As someone who was born Jewish, I think its really
swell when racists somehow try to invoke nonsense charges of Anti-Semitism
against people to justify their own racism. The best part about it is
they're, in one form or another, now specifically introducing Anti-Semitism into
the national conversation! Which their racist followers will be influenced
by! No way that can go wrong for Jews!
Hey it's 2019. What a wonderful world. The
good news is, in that old parable First they came for these guys, and I said
nothing, then they came for the other guys, and I said nothing... Jews are
somewhere in the middle of the list in modern America. We're not gonna be
the first they come for, but we're also not gonna be the last.
Somewhere in the middle is the point. Why is that a good thing.
I dunno, I'm just preparing myself for when it inevitably happens by introducing
a positive sentiment to associate it with! Ah, Life. But
also, still fuck these moderates and anti-Trump establishment Republicans who
are like You freakin' Democrats with your infighting, you're paving the way
for Trump's re-election! No, you supporting a party that's capitalized
on being racist and prejudiced for generations paved the way for Trumps
(re-)election. Us having conversations between ourselves is actually just
kind of how Democracy works. You should try it some time!
Anyway, what else is going on. Sixth paragraph! I
don't believe it! But there it is. One way to think about
what's scary is that with each day that passes, the closer we get (or have
already gotten to) is the point of no return for non-Trump Republicans.
Look, I always imagined that once Trump is gone, they'll stay the greedy
prejudiced fucks they always were, and successfully repair their image enough to
just get back to pre-Trump levels of ignoring those qualities. But, each
day that passes, it gets more impossible for them to even attempt that. It
gets closer to a point where Well this is just where Republicans are now.
No going back. And that's kind of scary. The good news is those
kinds of traits are appealing to maybe 1/3rd of the country, but the bad news is
the media and politicians seem to care a lot more about that 1/3rd than the rest
of the country. And will amplify and elevate that 1/3rd because its gonna
get ratings and/or help raise money for politicians instead of driving the point
home that the 2/3rds of our country is actually sane and mostly decent people
which would make us all feel a little safer and more normal and more comfortable
and more confident that we will return to some level of honesty and decency and
good faith. But, under those circumstances, media may not get as much
ratings and politicians (on both sides) may not make as much fundraising.
So, we devolve further into fascism because of greed.
Anyway, seventh paragraph. Gonna take a walk now, I
guess. Gotta do something! And walking seems to be a relatively
benign thing to do, all things considered. Sure, I'm forcing people who
see me walking to see my face and be like Yuck if I knew I was gonna see that
I woulda stayed home today! But, you know what, fuck them random
pedestrians! Where do they get off making me feel unwanted in my own
neighborhood! How dare them and whatnot. First they came for
the pedestrians, and I said nothing. Then they came for the dog walkers,
and I still was silent. Then they came for the kids riding bicycles, and I
spoke not a word. I don't know. I guess I'm writing this paragraph
before I take my walk. If we're splitting entry into 2 even sections, 15
seems like the way to go for today! Fascinating! Counting things is
fun! I'll re-see ya in a little bit, friends.
Everyone Read Entry
This time, pronounce it as, "Red!" And the first time you
were supposed to pronounce it as, "Reed." If you didn't originally, go
back and do it now. I'll wait! Anyway, hey, I'm back. Last few
paragraphs were a blast and a half, huh? One thing I don't get about that
parable about speaking up when the fascists come for other groups, who am I
supposed to speak up to? Do I just go out on the corner and go hey,
you, everyone, gather round! Gotta speak up about something! They're
goin' after Muslims and Women and Latinos and Natives and Black People and LGTBQ
People! and... ...hmm, now that I say all of them out loud it sounds like
a lot of people they're going after and Jews Really Are Next In Line.
No way, that'll only ostracize me from my community even more! I'm no
fool. Well, sure I am. But I'm only foolish in specific ways
and in other specific ways I'm not foolish. And it'll take too long
to go through the different ways I am and am not foolish and I have no corner
nearby to speak up about those ways anyway.
Oh well. I'm sure everything will be alright. TV
and Hollywood would never let anything bad happen to us. That's how I
feel. What else is going on. Ninth paragraph! Figure I got
seven more in me for today. Anyway, I'm eating a bagel now. Was
gonna save it for another hour or two but all this stress about people
inevitably coming after me and my brethren has really got to me.
Oh no I'm eating a bagel, now they know for sure I'm Jewish! I
really messed up with this lunch I picked. Picked a real bad lunch today!
Anyway, what else is going on. We are sort of easing into some really
clear binaries of where we're at in America. Either you're prejudiced, or
you're tolerant. Either you're selfish, or you're selfless. Either
you got a corner to speak up at, or you have no corner. Either you're
picking a good lunch, or you're not.
I'm starting to realize I'm the fascist in my
neighborhood. I've told you about how I take out my notepad and write down
jokes or song lyrics or whatever when I think of them. Now I realize,
some guy is passing me down the street and he sees me just suddenly take out a
note pad and take some notes. Like I'm scouting the neighborhood for
some sort of fascism thing, I don't know, it just seems odd, probably. If
only I can convince them No, I Was Just Writing Down The Phrase, "Blast & a
Half!" I'm not judging you or anything, it's got nothing to do with you,
really! Anyway. Maybe this website is the 21st century
equivalent of the empty street corner. If so, hey maybe get rid of
concentration camps? That's a good place to start I think.
There's no parable that goes First they came for other
people and I didn't speak up enough. I just spoke up!
There's no requirement for how much to speak up and how in depth to go.
Spoke up, did my job, see you in Hell responsibility! 11th paragraph.
Just take my message of don't put kids in cages and extrapolate that to
everything else. Wait a second, that reminds me... WE'VE GOT FUCKIN
CONCENTRATION CAMPS GOIN'! I almost forgot and then I made a joke
about it and I remembered! What The Hell! Stop it! What's
wrong with you people! This is why we don't speak up for other people,
it baffles the mind figuring out how to react coherently let alone effectively.
I gotta take a break, Jeez. Finish this entry up in a little bit.
Sounds About Right
Hey now you're hearin' stuff too! 2/5 senses accomplished!
What else. I know its kind of a running joke, but do most prominent
Republicans really think that the Rapture is coming and that's why they
just don't give a fuck anymore? Cause I can't think of much better
explanations than they just think this is gonna all be over soon so what they do
doesn't matter. If so, jeez what fuckin' retards. What else
is going on. Four paragraphs to go and whatnot. I was gonna take a
nap but then I remembered I had my contacts in and I'm not supposed to sleep
with them on and I'm too lazy to remove them to put them back on later and I'm
definitely not removing them permanently for the day and waste a whole half day
of wearing contacts! So the point is I have to stay up indefinitely.
13th paragraph! Although even that doesn't make
much sense, cause if you thought the rapture was imminent, you'd be panicking
trying to do as much good as you can as quick as possible to get on God's good
side, right? You spend your last moments exploiting and terrorizing
people, that's not gonna look good on your spiritual resume, is it?
Probably not. That's how I feel. Anyway, what else is going on in
the wide world of sports. Hey, great news-- the next paragraph is the 14th
paragraph! 14 is a pretty good number that no one really thinks too much
about. We use a base 10 system, so obviously people think about 0-10 a
lot. 11 is kind of overlooked, but 12 is a key number. Dozen is big.
13? Well, that's unlucky and whatnot. Once we get to 14, though, no
one really knows quite what to make of 14!
I need to stop terrorizing people with my nonsense.
I'm no better than anyone else doin' any terrorizing. I made a joke a few
weeks ago about not caring anymore about farting in public. I'm starting
to realize I have a problem. That feeling hasn't gone away, but now I'm
more cognizant that What I'm Doing Is Wrong. And I Need To Change and
Correct Course. I'm terrorizing people with my farts is the point and
I need to take responsibility for it because no one else is gonna! What
else is going on. I got my credit card bill for the last month and I
realized I had drank a lot more than I had realized on the day of my comedy
show. I remembered it being like five drinks overall, between the comedy
club and the bar after. Turned out I had six at the club alone, and must
have had at least 3 at the bar, probably more like 5 or something. Oh
well, such is life. Sometimes you binge drink, sometimes ya don't!
Variety is the spice of life.
Alright, almost done with this entry. Although its also
possible that I forgot to give tips for the beer I was getting at the club, and
as revenge, the bar tender charged me for more drinks than I ordered and rightly
assumed I wouldn't be able to remember well enough whether he charged me the
right amount or not. If so, good for him, his dishonesty really paid off!
What else is going on. Almost done with the entry. Gettin' close to
August. Now we're talkin'! August! ...I don't know.
How about we just start with agreeing concentration camps are bad?
We don't even need to close them down yet, as much as it hurts to say.
Let's just get on board that maybe this isn't the right thing to do to human
beings. Then take it from there. Okay? I'll see you later.
Tuesday, July 16, 2019
Give Me a Minute
I was thinking about it and I've got a bone to pick with Nirvana.
The first two tracks on their iconic album Nevermind, which are both iconic
songs in their own right, the titles never appear in the song! Kurt Cobain
never utters the phrase Smells like Teen Spirit! nor In Bloom!
It's a scam! Anyway that's all I've been thinking about the past four
days but its pretty interesting so I've been satisfied with how occupied that
makes me. Wait, no. I think there was one other thing I
was thinking about. But what was it?!? Oh, now I remember.
This is real. I remember as a kid feeling kind of pissed off and cheated
that I may never see Haley's Comet. I took it really personally that it
only shows up every 75 years and that it had been around just 2 years before I
was born. I don't know why I knew what Haley's Comet was, why it bothered
me at all, or anything. I just have the memory of, on several occasions,
thinking to myself Well This Is Bullshit!
I guess I'm kinda a Half Is Glass Empty kind of
guy. Hey I wrote a new song! Well, the lyrics, at least. And I
have two possible titles for it. Both of which appear in the
lyrics! I don't cheat like Nirvana. It is kind of odd, though, that
for songs, 95% of the time the title shows up in the song, but for any other art
form, the title hardly ever appears in the content. There's never a part
in the movie Armageddon where Billy Bob Thornton dramatically goes Oh No... I
hate to say it but This Might Be Armageddon. Also,
some book reference. I don't know. First thought was Portrait of the
Artist as a young man but I was having trouble figuring out how to spell,
"Portrait," so I just gave up on that completely. Second thought was The
Great Gatsby but I'm sure at some point that phrase shows up. Then Catcher
In the Rye, again, I know that shows up... E-mail me some
iconic books where the title probably doesn't appear in the content and if it
did it would be vaguely amusing cause it's a weird title! My email is
I'm gonna put my lunch in the oven any minute now. I started drinking
right before this entry because hey why not gotta do something.
Which is pretty much the guiding principle of my life, for better or worse.
Now I can't get the sound if Ron Howard going, "It was Arrested Development,"
out of my head. Pretty much the most iconic moment of a title being
pronounced within its own body of content. Man what a great word is
iconic. I'm not 100% sure what it means but it sounds cool.
Put my food in the oven. I'ma take it out in 50 minutes or so! This
is a true feeling-- every time I put food in the oven I feel self conscious that
my Dad, should he be aware of it (and he usually is, like 80% of the time) will
be judging me that I'm putting it in the oven too long. Especially with
chicken pot pies-- I leave them suckers in for like an hour and 45 minutes.
And before I do it, there's always this twinge of shame, Dad isn't gonna
approve of this. He won't forbid me from leaving it in the oven this long
or anything, but I know inside he'll be disappointed in me.
Something like that. Cause I've got lots of
problems and that's but one of them. Here's a lyric I wrote back in high
school-- I've got 99 problems, and a bitch is all of 'em. I used to
write funny lyrics is the point. Anyway we're halfway through July.
I don't know why, but the last week or so I've started having cravings for
cigarettes more than I had in the first couple of months without them. I
think it's because at this point it's been a month or so since Comedy Class
ended w/ the show, just been hanging out at home going crazy and I need that
death defying mode of self relief. That's my theory. But, then
again, who knows. I could blame it on my Mom. I had gone to a
Doctor's appointment for mY Dad with both parents and my Mom insisted on smoking
in the car. And I could fuckin' smell it. And it was getting into my
lungs. And it may not have been enough to actually get me back, "on,"
cigarettes, physiologically and everything, but maybe it was! In which
case thanks a lot Mom because you couldn't wait 10 minutes I just lost 10
years of my life and 100 thousand dollars or so. Oh well, that's Moms
for ya! Always screwing your crap up!
Wonderful. Hey it's the fifth paragraph. Hey I
can still count up to 5. That's a relief. I wonder how much higher I
can count if I tried. I bet I could get up to 13, 14, easy. Maybe
even more under the right circumstances! Saw my therapist yesterday.
I always feel like I'm getting away with something when I see my
therapist/psychiatrist. Like by the end if the session, I'm always like,
Ha, Tricked ya! Made ya think that I'm normal and everything's okay!
When in reality I'm only kind of normal and everything's only kind of
okay! But I fooled you good! Essentially its all just a scam to
trick people into thinking positive things about yourself. This is the
life we chose. Wait I never chose this life. This is the life
that was thrust upon us by fate. Fate, huh? I like the sound of
that! Makes my life seem important. Sure we all have fate, but that
means if I have fate just like you or anyone else, I'm just as much of a person
as you or anyone else! That's a relief! For a while I was pretty
sure I was just a useless broken shell of a man trying to convince everyone he
meets that he's really doing alright.
Anyway, what else is going on. Sixth paragraph.
Man oh man I can't wait to eat lunch. And then who knows. Eat
something else after that? Sure I will! Maybe not right after
but I can go into lunch knowing deep down hey I'm gonna get to fuckin' eat
even more after this eventually! The eating never ends!
You gotta wait to eat again here and there but you will get to satisfy your
hunger and taste buds several more times at least! Anyway. The two
possible titles for the song I wrote are Smoke Signals/Mental Health.
Right now I'm leaning towards what I gotta pick up my guitar and write a song
now? With one of those crappy titles? Nah I think I'll just hang
around my room and listen to already existing music thank you very much.
Also one of the strings on my acoustic guitar broke a week or two ago.
Well, there goes that. What, I'm supposed to spend 15 minutes finding
a replacement string and stringing it and everything? Whatta hassle!
Not worth it!
Anyway, seventh paragraph. I was thinking about it, and
having Crazysheet and Songs I Wrote and all that stuff has made me a much
happier and more confident guy. No matter how mediocre what I produce, I
still have all these things that I've created and poured some sort of
heart and/or soul into that now exists outside me so whatever exists inside me
can sort of relax and take a breath knowing that I can continue on without even
trying. Dunno if that makes sense but it makes life a bit easier, even if
no one else knows or appreciates what I'm creating. I know what
I've written and made, and it makes sense to me, so mission accomplished I
guess! Wonderful. That'll show 'em, that'll show all of 'em!
The point is by the next sentence we're gonna be into the next paragraph.
Cool! Figure food'll be ready in about 30, 35 minutes.
I can't wait! It's the next time I get to eat! Love it. I
don't mean to brag but the title to the first episode of The New Monkees
is pretty good. I don't wanna give anything a way, but, boy, when you see
the title after you've DVR'ed it and are like hmm I wonder what this show is
all about you're gonna be like ok now I'm sold. I like that
title. This is gonna be good, real good. And then the episode
happens and it may or may not be good but there was that moment you were
confident something good was about to happen and its that feeling that I hope to
bring into the world again and again and again! Wonderful.
Anyway. I'm very self conscious about my ability to re-string my guitars.
I can do it adequately enough at this point, but not as good as someone whose
been playing for 14 years should be able to. And the first few years I
couldn't do it at all. I remember waiting for my brother to get home from
college to do it for me. Very humiliating as a guitar guy to be like oh
no, string snapped, guess I'm screwed now. But such is life! I
Ninth paragraph. I can dig it. Also, now I can't
get the idea out of my head of finishing reading A Tale of Two Cities and then
the last sentence is, in bold, It Was a Tale of Two Cities.
And you're smart enough to read it in Ron Howard's voice. Anyway, what
else is going on. I think Charles Dickens may have been more successful if
he titled his novel II Cities II Furious. Just a thought. I
honestly don't really get the entire subgenre of film where it's about fast cars
and stuff. Like Fast & The Furious, but there are even more outside of
that franchise. I have no interest in a film that revolves around hey
let's get into some cars and drive around for some reason. Maybe they
only exist because car companies decided they would sell more cars if people
watched movies about cars. I don't know! I shouldn't be so cynical
to assume that movies are made to make various companies and people money!
Where do I get off making that assumption! Someone just wanted to
tell a story about some who are fast, some who are furious, and the cars that
aid them in their quest to become the fastest and the most furious around.
A simple story as old as time.
Tenth paragraph. I got that going for me I suppose.
Roughly time to take food out of the oven after this paragraph. Maybe get
to 15 while eating lunch, then recalibrate my expectations. Either write 5
more paragraphs w/o lunch, take a break and write 5 more paragraphs later, or
end it after 15. Three most likely possibilities is the point.
Anyway, jeez. I got no freaking clue what to do with my life. I've
been devolving into insanity lately. Not pure, 100% insanity. More
like man this isn't going well and I'm not able to figure out how to get back
on the right track. Whatever such is life. I guess I'm just in a
furious stage of life, which will hopefully succeeded by a fast stage.
We all go through series of being fast and being furious and sometimes you're
both at once even but in the end... I lost track of what I was talking about.
What's goin' on with you? E-mail me at
I Don't Know Something Like That
Great. I don't know. Now I can't get the idea of seeing the
Earth explode into nothingness from outer space and then we just hear Ron
Howard's voice saying It Was Armageddon. Probably a fitting way for
both our wonderful planet and our mediocre track record of humanity to end.
I find it kind of interesting that the word, "Humanity," describes the exact
opposite of what humans have proven to be. There's an insight-em-up
for the Trump era. Maybe we'll get back on track soon. Get from a
mediocre track record of humanity back into an adequate track record of
humanity. It could happen! Anyway, what else is going on. Go
eat lunch after this paragraph. I've earned what with it being 5 hours
since I ate breakfast. Earned it hardcore! By waiting several hours!
I guess everyone's gotta excel at something. Me, I excel at waiting
relatively short periods of time to eat.
Hey lunch time. Here's what I got going for me--
some steak, some egg whites, some hash browns, some rye toast. All in very
reasonable portions! And cooked to an extent you can't argue with!
Why would you want to argue with the extent something was cooked! It can't
argue back so it'd be pretty one sided is the point! Anyway. Is
joining The Squad a permanent thing? Like, can I decide I'm in The
Squad now but then in a week be like you know what this isn't for me?
Or is it like one of those for-life things. This is a question that needs
to be addressed immediately before people make this decision. Also,
another key question-- any responsibilities being in The Squad? Am I in
the squad just because I support most of the ideals and actions of the actual
Squad, or does being in the squad mean I have to contribute to some extent?
Cause I'm not sure if I'm, "Down," with that.
I've got a pretty good thing going with not doing anything.
Not sure if I wanna mess that up. Also, can you kick people out of the
squad? What if someone joins the squad, and you feel like they're being
assholes and not representing the squad in a positive fashion. Can you be
like Hey, you, you're out of the squad! These questions need to be
addressed sooner rather than later. I'm not 100% comfortable supporting
the squad. Hmm, these ladies seem to take their role as public servants
literally and seriously and want to do the right thing no matter what the
circumstance or consequences. What's their angle? Seems
kind of fishy. Better to stick with the devil you know (establishment
corporate culture) than to take a chance on these people who you don't even
really know what their angle is (it could be anything! use your
imagination! It's probably even worse than you can even imagine is what
I'm inclined to believe!) Those are my thoughts on The Squad.
What else. 14th paragraph. Gettin' close to being
done with lunch. So either call it quits after 15, or take a break and
finish up later in the day. Sometimes I think about how cool it would be
to go to Disney world, with or without my family, or potential wife/new family
of our own, but then sometimes I think about how it would also be pretty sweet
to go to Six Flags: Great Adventure. It's also a pretty cool place that is
within driving distance if I could find someone who knows how to drive and wants
to ride thrill rides with me. Know anyone like that? Hit me up at
email@example.com. I dunno.
Just finish the entry after this next paragraph. Feels right for today.
I guess. Back to going to Supermarket instead of getting it delivered
tomorrow. Dad is okay to drive me there and just stay in the car while I
do the heavy lifting (that double-meaning is True!). Which is nice
because I like walking down aisles and being like man this aisle is pretty
good but imagine the next aisle I bet its got a lot going for it as well.
I don't know. Life is weird. Also-- good
piece of branding on whoever coined the term Super Markets. We could have
just figured out a word that implies that, yes, they're like the classical
market we've known and loved forever, but now bigger and with more options and
whatnot. Hey, lets just call 'em SUPER markets! And
somehow that stuck. Good for them is the point. I remember as a kid
the supermarket we got was Grand Union. Not sure if that's still a thing.
I believe it's another way of saying Match Made In Heaven. Grand
Union. Anyway, I don't know, I guess the entry is just about done.
I'll see you guys some other time presumably.
Friday, July 12, 2019
I Hope You're Happy
Unless you get off on bullshit. Then, screw you! Hey, it's
the weekend again. I wonder what kind of films are playing at the
Cineplex. I'll go check! Wait, before I check-- here's an amusing
anecdote. I saw my endocrinologist yesterday and she suggested seeing Late
Night. A lot. She talked a fair amount about Late Night.
I don't know about you, but I go to my endocrinologist for all my movie
reviews. That's just how the world works. Also, she has no idea
I'm interested in writing comedy or anything. This is just something she
talks about to all her patients presumably. Spending 40% of our
appointment really going on about Late Night: The Major Motion Picture.
That wasn't that amusing of an anecdote. Yeah, but it's good to build
people's expectations! That way, even though they're concluded with an
aww that didn't go anywhere, there was at least a moment where you were
feeling positive and happy that hey this might go somewhere! And
its that feeling that I'm proud to bring into this world of ours.
Oh, right, gotta see what movies are playing. Hey
Crawl looks like a good movie. It's named after my 3rd favorite
Concluding Track to an Alkaline Trio album. First is Radio.
Second is Sorry About That. Third is Crawl, I just told you! Try to
stay focused. So I can see that. I can see Toy Story 4, but I
never saw the first three. Feels like somehow I'm missing out on some sort
of beloved cultural touchstone for my entire generation. Oh well, what
can ya do. I can't go back and watch Toy Story now! It's too
late! Also, I think my generation may have been the first where we don't
really need or use or have toys anymore. Certainly
these days. Who the fuck wants to play with legos when you have an iPhone?
Why have action figures and make pretend battles or tea parties or dream houses
or whatever people do with action figures or dolls when you can play video
games? Doesn't make sense!
The point is our Imaginations are obsolete. We
have better things to do these days! Whatta future we have in store for
us! What with these crazy kids these days presumably I don't know I
don't spend a lot of time with kids maybe it's completely unlike what I'm
presuming. Anyway, oh, right. Should see a movie this weekend.
Hey, I haven't drank alcohol in almost three full weeks! Seems like
something I should do because that's what Mike's Hard Lemonade Commercials have
suggested to me throughout my entire life time. When I was a kid it always
looked like fun. Hmm, Mike-- that's me, I know that. Lemonade,
that's a Sweet, I like that. Hard? Well, I'm, "Down," with that.
Anyway I don't know I'm gonna start having lunch in a minute.
I usually keep track of what time I eat my three major meals,
just for references sake, and I don't have meals at a certain time.
It's over a certain time period. Like, if I start lunch
in 11 minutes at 11:30, I don't have lunch at 11:30. It's gonna last until
like 11:40, 11:45 (at least for today's lunch-- bagel w/ lox-- I'm guessin'
around 10 or 15 minutes for that.) Thus estimating when I'm having meals
with just one number is obsolete. There's so many things that are obsolete
these days! Maybe I'll get to some more over the rest of the entry who can
say for sure at this point! Hey this is the fourth paragraph figure I'll
just bring up lunch after the next paragraph because multiples of five are what
make the world go round.
That and some sort of thing in the Earth's core? I
don't know exactly. Somethin's makin' the Earth rotate and I hope
scientists figure out exactly what it is one day but then again whose got the
time. Really. Scientists are probably busy removing references to
climate change from their governmental reports, that should take a lot of time
because it probably comes up a lot so white-ing it out is probably a pretty
strenuous and time consuming job. Anyway, what else is going on.
Sometimes I think about how easy it would be to address climate change to the
extent it demands, but then sometimes I think about how oil and energy companies
run the world. So it's a pretty interesting conflict is the point.
Anyway, gonna go get lunch!
Makes Sense To Me
Cinnamon Raisin bagels have re-ignited my love affair with bagels.
Well, begun it, at least. I never really had a love affair with bagels in
the past. [To be honest-- I still don't. This whole premise is
faulty. I like bagels again, it's re-ignited my hey this is
pretty good affair with bagels. Anyway, hey, when is this
parenthetical gonna be over already?] But, oh, right. It's weird
because Cinnamon Raisin bagels aren't that different from plain bagels. I
mean, the cinnamon flavor is very light. There's a couple of raisins here
and there but it's not a big deal. In the end a bagel is just a bagel.
But, whatever, I'm having fun! So I got that going for me is the point.
When I got the bagel with lox from the deli today, they were like, it comes
with a free side, do you want it? And I was like why are you asking
me that? What, am I gonna say nope! I can get something for free?
Nah, not interested! II wasn't really like that
because that would be insane but anyway I was like well what can I get.
And they were like macaroni or potato salad. And I was like what
the Hell do macaroni or potato salad have to do with bagels? This whole
premise is faulty! But not really because that would be insane.
I was like alright give me the macaroni then.
Wonderful. Although if you wanna be environmentally
conscious, and you know 100% you're not gonna eat the macaroni or potato salad
or donate it to someone else who will eat it, don't get it.
Presumably that's just more Environment Going To Waste. Makes sense to me.
I still took it, though. Maybe I'll eat it, maybe my family will, there's
a pretty good chance one of those things will happen. Anyway, what
paragraph we at. Seventh. I forgot to take note of the time when I
started eating this bagel. Oh well, there goes life. Pretty much
ruined now at this point. Figure I'll keep living for forty, fifty years
just to keep up appearances but I'll know it's all ruined now and 100%
pointless. Jeez. Whatta do. I think the premise that carbs are
bad for you and won't satisfy your hunger and you it's all just a nutritional
waste is a scam. If I never learned that from wherever, and I was eating a
bagel, I'd never know! I'd feel satisfied. You tell me over and over
and over that eating bagels is pointless and doesn't offer any benefits and
won't even satisfy your hunger, I'm gonna start to believe it!
The point is science should just shut up and presumably if we
pretend its conclusions don't exist then they won't! Makes sense to
me! Anyway. When last we spoke I told you about my intentions to
start going to bed and getting up later in the day concurrently. So far,
no success! Still falling asleep some time between 10:00-11:00 and getting
up around 6:00-8:00 or so. Oh well. Gotta get up some time!
And go to bed some time, too, presumably. Unless you're on meth.
Then don't bother! Sleep'll just slow you down! I've been telling my
Doctors over the last year or whatever how I take walks and they're encouraging.
I told them when it was one walk a day. I told them when I bumped it up to
two. I even told them when I bumped it up to three! I refuse to tell
them about walking in a circle in my room for several hours a day, though.
Somehow I don't think they'd react to that in a positive fashion. Best we
keep that just to ourselves. I mean, myself.
Only one of me! That's been proven!
Ninth paragraph. Anyway. Figure I'll take a break
after 10 paragraphs. Maybe just chill out for a bit, then take a walk,
then come back and write a concluding 5 or 10 paragraphs. It seems like a
decent course of action because I figure it makes sense. Hey did I get to
tell you I finally lost all my poker money? Because I did! And I
feel great about it. I'll presumably have a job one day and make money
with no risk! There's not gonna be some sort of aspect to my paycheck
where it's like ok we're gonna spin the wheel and if it lands on red, you get
15 dollars for this hour of work, and if it lands on black, you're out of luck!
Maybe next hour you'll get lucky! That's how our economy works!
I don't know.
Finished my bagel. It was pretty good. I'm
satisfied with how it went, all things considered. It was a solid B-/B
lunch. Jeez. My Dad's ongoing recovery from hip surgery is still
ongoing and still recovering. He's trending in the positive direction he
is! He can take walks outside and he can put on shoes on both feet
and he can even take showers sitting down! That's the life I guess.
Anyway, I dunno, I just had a fudge pop. I like eating desserts because
it's like living regular life but hey I'm eatin' some Sweet while the rest of
empty life is going on, it's like the life that everyone in the world knows and
loves PLUS CHOCOLATE?!?!! What What did I do to deserve such a joy.
Anyway, I'm gonna take a break now! Be back at some point later in the
Thanks a Lot, Dream!
Hey! Against all odds, I succeeded in taking a 2 hour nap today.
And I dreamt a joke at the very end of it. Here it is verbatim-- (in
mediocre Jerry Seinfeld impression) Who actually gives a shit?
That would be a terrible present! So the point is from now on in life
I don't have to do anything, my dreams will do all the heavy lifting presumably.
That's a relief! Anyway, hey, what's going on. Couple of good days
the last few days. 7/10, that's a bowling thing. 7/11, that's a
convenience store thing. What's the next day that's great. I don't
know if we have any coming up in the next few weeks or even months at
all. We blew our load 2 days in a row and now it's a whole lot of nothin'!
12th paragraph. Either go for 15 or 20, I don't know
yet. If I could convince my body to take 2 hour naps every day, my routine
would be exponentially better. Sure I know what, "Exponentially,"
means. It means a lot. My Dad's a math teacher, please, I know
enough to know that the definition of exponentially is a lot.
Earlier today both my Dad and I were trying to explain the difference between
Mean, Median, and Mode to my Mom, and I'm a little uncomfortable to say, I was
doing a better job than my Dad. I think I was a little more clear about
it. So the point is I'm The Math Teacher Now! and now I get to wear
all my Dad's clothes or something I don't have 100% of the details.
Sure, sure, sure. Just got back from afternoon walk.
It was a real joy because I got to move around and the world existed around me
and, well, you know what walking outside is like. Movin' and having the
world exist while yer movin'. What a joy. I'm probably gonna see
Crawl this weekend because Blue In The Face isn't playing in theaters
yet. Pretty sure that joke is meant for an audience of Zero.
Even I wouldn't get it if I hadn't written it. What else is going
on. Just had a freaking donut because I go all out. Some people are
gonna live life, takin' naps, takin' walks after the nap, and then they're like
well I gotta write 10 paragraphs for a nonsense website but I'm not gonna have a
donut too! but me I'm like well like that but instead of no donut, umm, I
also, I have that donut! Something along those lines!
Penultimate paragraph of this block. Which is going
to be the penultimate block of the entry. Which may very well be the
penultimate entry of all the entries after the next entry is written but before
the entry after that is written. Well, it will be. I'm a math
teacher, c'mon, I can count pretty well with the best of 'em. So the
point is what else is going on. Apparently Nancy Pelosi is a joke.
Who would have guessed! Me. Yeah but besides me. I
dunno a lot of people. Yeah but besides those people. Maybe
some other people, too. Oh that sounds like a lot of people.
Yeah I'm telling ya. Jeez.
What else is going on in the wide world of sports.
Apparently some American Ladies were pretty good at soccer lately. That
makes me proud to be an American for some reason. That there were a few
people from the same 300 million people populated country as me and they beat
some other people at a sport that doesn't interest me so now I feel intense
feelings of pride and joy. Anyway. I feel like we're on a collision
course as a society which sports provides a clear way of conceptualizing.
I wouldn't be surprised if we're one or two generations away from not giving a
shit about sports at all. My kids' kids are gonna be like this is
freakin' pointless. But sports are multi-billion dollar industries.
They're not just gonna fade into the background without a fight. So it's
gonna get messy having these dying industries desperately trying to stay
powerful and relevant even when deep down nobody really wants them anymore.
You know, like baseball? And oil and natural gas and coal
companies? You know, stuff like that. I was about to start a
final 5 paragraph block titled Tell Me About It, but you know what?
I'm done! See ya later.
Friday, July 5, 2019
Crazy Sheet: Always At Home
Dang what a great title. That sums that up and everything!
Well, see ya! Wait no I'm still here. What's the opposite of
See Ya. Hear Ay. What's the opposite of a Great Title. Not so
great Entry. Let's get started. Yesterday was America's
birthday. And today I'm eating lunch. How's that for an interesting
sequence of events? Anyway, drinking a bit this afternoon. First
time since 2 weeks ago when I drank after Comedy Class. I figure it's an
interesting thing to do because it might make me think differently, and I've
been getting bored of my mode of thinking since Comedy Class ended. A
whole lot of What Now But Also Not Really Thinking About What Now Just
Sort Of Thinking Not a Whole Lot Going On Now Maybe It'll Be Different
in Roughly A Few Hours.
That's been my last 2 weeks, something along those
lines. I have a weird thing where every week I never get myself enough
soda from the super market. I know the standard amount will leave me
without soda the last two days. And I'm not ashamed of ordering 15-20
bottles of soda. SO what's stopping me from getting 22, 23 bottles a week
instead? They're not gonna judge me that much more than getting 15
bottles. And it's not too hard to just make a conscious decision to change
the generic order. It always seems just out of reach, though.
However, makes me appreciate getting soda from super market when I do finally
get the new order in, though. The day or two without soda makes me feel
like holy shit this is like drinking water but it tastes sweet and like some
sort of specific flavor for some reason!
That's life, I guess. Still don't know the one
character from The New Monkees' last name. As long as I don't have 1/14th
of the names, It'll be perpetually unfinished and not even ready for starting
writing the script. I need that name before I can make the next move and
there's a strong chance I'll never get it. What else is going on.
Well, we're solidly into July now. What's the next thing I'm gonna do with
life. Because I need to do something! Life without life is no life
at all. I don't even have a TV. That's a great provider of things to
do. I can be like alright, this week I'm gonna binge watch this show.
Then next month I can watch the Food Network, then it's practically New TV
Season and I can watch all those shows over and over again for 2/3rds of a year.
Without having a TV, it's more like hmm gotta figure out if there's a way I
can participate in this world doing something that's not being dictated by mass
media and entertainment... is such a thing even possible in reality?
Probably not, that's my guess. Anyway, I saw
Spiderman: Far From Home yesterday. He wasn't that far from home.
He was still on Earth. Damn I've given too much away. So many
twists and turns in that movie and now you know definitively it exists on some
sort of Earth. Sometimes I think about it and when you think about it the
moon really is part of Mars. If you crunch the numbers and
everything it does sort of seem to add up. What else is going on.
Gettin' along with my parents these days. Last few weeks since my Dad's
surgery I've been really active in helping him and Mom out. Also, side
note, using the phrase, "Mom," without, "My," really turns me off. But I
remember getting that from my therapist. When I first started seeing her,
it really annoyed me. "How's Mom and Dad?". Excuse me you
forgot a Your. You're not on a first name basis with my Mom and Dad
and also those aren't even their first names and also who cares how they are
This Is About Me!!!
Life isn't fair and can be terrible and this mostly manifests
itself in people not using proper prepositions when talking to you. Is
that a preposition? I don't know, close enough. What else is going
on. But it's nice to help out around the house. I guess that's
what this phase of my life has been. Help my Dad get out of bed in the
morning. Do two or three simple tasks throughout the day. Help him
get ready for bed in the night. Then tomorrow start over.
Damn what a crappy phase of life. Sounds like a real snooze and also
boring for most of the time. Yeah that sounds about right.
Wait its a snooze and boring? Yeah I just told you get off my
back about it!
Sixth paragraph! I guess so. Wanna start
getting back into reading but I don't know where to start. Ben Folds' book
is coming out in a few weeks but I don't know if I can wait that long.
I've got roughly a few weeks to go before a few weeks is up and I need something
to do during the meantime. I've already ruled out Graduating From Queens
College Again, turns out that's not within the realm of possibility. I've
ruled out going doing those Open Mics again because That Place No Longer Exists.
Can't take Comedy Class again because doing it again is For Suckers. Can't
Help my Dad indefinitely because he'll either get better enough that he can take
care of himself or he'll die completely and the that's the end of that.
Hmm. Write more paragraphs. Seems like a decent
plan to follow for the immediate future. What else is going on. I've
been watching a lot of DVDs lately. Not the videos contained digitally on
the DVDs. Just looking at the DVD cases a lot. I've got 'em sideways
and everything so I just look back and forth from Title to Title and read the
titles and look at the little picture they have on the side of the boxes.
It's not a lot but it's what's keeping me going these days and whatnot.
Crazy Sheet Is The Real World
close enough. As close as I'm gonna get to these days. Just helped
my Dad walk around outside. First time he was given the Okay to do this.
And by helping, I mean, I walked back and forth a couple of times one step ahead
of him. Kinda boring for me, but for him, I could tell it was a real
treat, on account of it being an important step forward in his recovery.
Also an important step forward literally in our physical world. Such is
life I guess! Anyway, eighth paragraph, might cap it at 10. Sounds
like a decent plan in that it's enough paragraphs to be proud about and also I
get to stop relatively soon. That's a
Cool! II used a new title just for a block of three
paragraphs? Well life doesn't always work out the way you'd like all
the time. In fact, it rarely does. Sooner or later life is gonna
deal you a hand where it's a real treat to walk back and forth several times in
front of your house. Anyway. I need to come to terms with the fact
that, despite it being the only thing I've done the last few weeks, I'm not
really taking care of my Dad as much as it feels like. He's not at the end
of his life and I'm helping him hang on by waiting on him and hand foot and
catering to his every need. I'm putting his socks on for him.
That's about it. Anyway I guess I gotta figure out some other way to
conceptualize my life in a flattering way for me where I can be comfortable with
what I'm accomplishing and whatnot. Any ideas? I'm all
Alright time to wrap it up! What fun was had and
whatnot. I can always see a new movie every week in Movie Theater.
That's a good way for my life to be strung along without having to go
through the bother of re-hooking my TV. I disconnected it on the
premise I'd soon be getting a better one. The better one never came.
Going back to the old TV would be a chump's move and make me seem weak. My
old TV would never respect me if that ever happened. Best to just keep
moving forward on this path of Whatever Happens Happens. So I got that
going for me and whatnot. Well, not quite. Whatever Movie
Theater Tells Me Happens Each Week Happens. So that's a little bit better,
right? Movie theaters are pretty smart and kind and good and they're the
heart and soul of this great nation of ours. I'll see ya later.
Tuesday, July 2, 2019
Crazy Sheet Dot What Now?
What's that. Well you've heard of Dot Com? Yeah sure.
What about Dot Org? Yeah sometimes I guess. Well, this is a
Dot Net. Nah no way you're pulling my leg. Anyway. When
I was a kid, that was all. Com, net, and org. In that order.
Net was actually ahead of org! Now there's all sorts of dots and no one
serious uses a dot net for anything. Except for me! I'm an
Internet Individual I am! Anyway pulling my leg whas that mean lets think
real hard about it. I don't know! You figure it out, I'm busy
trying to move on from the crappy start of this entry! Anyway, just got
the mail for my household. Got an envelope from Queens College that turned
out to be soliciting a donation but at first I was like hmm never got asked
for donations before... maybe I graduated again. That
was the dream but turns out Nope They Just Want My Money.
Great! I woulda given it to them, too, if only they
would let me graduate again! C'mon, it's been over a year and a half!
I'm ready to go through graduating once more, why not! Working a little
bit on The New Monkees. I have gotten to the point where I'm 100% on each
of the New Monkees complete names, and thus, who they are as people.
What do you mean in real life our names aren't a 100% accurate descriptor and
predictor of who we are as people? That sounds like a lie.
In fiction, though, at least, I think we can rest on Names Being Who People Are.
If we learnt anything from Charles Dickens, its that. Also, hah.
Charles Dickens. That's a funny name. Let's make fun of him for it.
You know, re-animate Charles Dickens' corpse, mock his
name to his face as soon as he regains consciousness, then stuff him back into
his casket and grave? Jut for fun, you know? Anyway.
Also got 2 of the 3 Behind-the-scenes main characters names, and the first name
of the third. So, great, I'm almost done with this entire project is the
point! Anyway, what else is going on. Crazy stuff going on at the
border and in camps and stuff. I feel like we're right on the verge
of starting to care collectively. Right around the bend, we're gonna
suddenly be like oh right this is horrifying. So, great,
we've got that to look forward to! Collectively regaining some sense of
morality and justice, shock and immediacy for a brief period of time!
Turning point is when we start seeing video of what's going
on in the camps. We're gonna be like Wait Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?
Anyway, that's not good. What else is going on. Anyway the point is
sure I'm gonn have a a lollipop. I'm an adult! I get to have
lollipops wherever, whenever I want! No ones gonna tell me when and
where and what to suck on! I choose to suck on candy. That's it!
So stop asking me otherwise! That's how I feel these days.
Fourth paragraph. Still have a few dollars on poker for some reason.
Not 100% sure why. I thought I lost it all then I checked again the next
day and there was still a couple of dollars there. My current theory is
that money I gambled on the Mets a few days ago, which I thought I lost because
the Mets lost, I actually won because I accidentally bet against the Mets.
Either that or Poker is mocking me by giving me 2 dollars
every time I blow all my bankroll just to watch me squirm by continuously
stressing out over gambling small amounts. Can't discount the theory that
Poker has some sort of vendetta against me and chooses to have that manifest
itself in a mostly trivial, harmless way! Anyway. Hey great news!
I get to have a Sleep Study soon! I haven't set it up yet but basically I
get to go into a room one night where they watch me all night as I sleep and
hook me up to machines and try to instigate me to get up and move around in my
sleep just for their own interest and amusement! Sounds like a real blast,
I'm looking forward to setting up that appointment. And then doing that
appointment, And, then, finally, seeing the results from the appointment.
Seeing Results? That's the best part of all!
Sixth paragraph. What else in the wide world of
sports is going on. Figure I'll write the sixth paragraph now.
Yep, checks out. Most logical thing to do. I'm 100% on board with
that plan of action. Sweet. Still haven't watched the video of
my performance. But, on the other hand, there's so much I have
watched. I saw Child's Play: The Major Motion Picture just a few days ago!
And I may see Spiderman: The Farthest From Home He's Ever Been Lately maybe as
soon as tomorrow night! I wanted to see the Beatles Movie Yesterday
yesterday or some other day since it was released but it's not showing at the
most convenient theater for me to go to! Only the 2nd most convenient
theater! And I take that as a sign from the universe don't bother this
movie isn't for you at least not in its theatrical release at least.
Sure everything that happens is the universe telling us
stuff. The universe has a lot to say and this manifests itself over and
over and over again. What else is going on. I was looking up which
movies were playing, and when I saw Spiderman was in theaters today, I'm gonna
be honest, I saw, "Spiderman," and my first instinct was like Man they
already have a limited edition honorary celebratory screening of Spiderman: Into
Spiderverse or Something: The Film? The real release was only half a year
ago! I didn't think they'd go through showing it again for another 30,
40 years! Oh what wonderful misunderstandings we weave. Especially
if we're spiderpeople. They be good at weaving stuff like webs, it's one
of their best attributes.
I don't know. Eighth paragraph! Either take a
break after 10 paragraphs or just stop completely. So many choices.
Well, two choices. That's not that many choices. On the other hand,
its exponentially more choices than 1 choice. So, you have 2 things to
decide between, you really don't have it all that bad. Many people ain't
even got that. Has there been a superhero movie where there's a subplot of
the superhero whose genetically different than being a regular person being in a
romantic relationship with a genetically normal person and they're like hmm
will society have a problem with this and if so how do we proceed?
Because it seems like a subplot that needs to be told! If we're in a place
where we need a Child's Play to be told and a New Spiderman to be told, we're
certainly in a place where we need to tell a subplot of Super Hero being married
to Non Super Hero.
Ninth paragraph! I want to start a competition fast
food restaurant to Subway and Blimpies and Quiznos called Super Heroes.
The only negative thing is I'd probably have to agree to have Stan Lee's corpse
make cameos in our advertisement. That's the price one must pay to do
anything even remotely to do with Super Heroes. I'm pretty sure they don't
even need to pay Stan Lee (or Stan Lee's estate) royalties or anything when
making these films. I think in order for him to agree to them making
another Spiderman movie, he was just like, ok, put me in it for 5 seconds,
you got a deal. Really? Cause we were gonna give you 5 millio....
nope just put me in the movie for 5 seconds that's all I need.
No wonder he's dead now. Not a good business man!
I'm only 90% sure he's dead. Kinda really hope he's not, now. That
would make the last paragraph even better! Aww. He's dead.
That's a shame. Anyway what else is going on. Wait a
minute. Stan Lee. Stanley. WTF IS GOING ON TEHRE.
I feel like I cracked some kind of code or something. Anyway, gonna wrap
it up after this paragraph. It's been a real joy on account of having two
lollipops, one oatmeal raisin cookie, and one fudgesicle. I treat myself
in order to coax paragraphs out of myself! It's a good system! Don't
knock it till you've tried it! Anyway, I'll see you guys later.
Probaby. Not literally. In fact, not at all. You'll see me
later, though. That's more accurate.