December 23, 2019
I Have To Go To The
Dentist Later. I Hope He Lets Me Kill Time In The Waiting Room While He's
Closing Up With The Person Who Came Before Me.
So, what else is crap? The only way you can convince me that White
Nationalists are actually just playing, "The Circle Game," is if you told me The
Circle Game is just them signaling to each other how they all masturbate the
same way with their thumb and pointer because that's how small their dick are.
Hah. I BURNED a group of TERRIBLE PEOPLE who deserve much more than
being BURNED but oh well that's all I can do as one individual. What
if a woman is playing The Circle game? Pinching between thumb and pointer
finger together to Show off how big her clit is. Or vagina. I don't
have all the details on the woman body! I only have about 30-40%
answers on a basic introductory review of How Is Women Different Than Man
anatomically. I know they have a second butt on the other side where
our junk is. That's about all I'm comfortable saying at this moment..
All I know is that men circle, women pinch. That's
one of only 4 or 5 main life lessons I've accumulated over the years.
Anyway. I get that we shouldn't eat right before the dentist, and we shod
brush our teeth either way just before especially if we've eaten... what's the
policy on drinking alcohol before hand? I mean they're not gonna go to the
authorities, I know that much. There's no crime there! But are they
gonna be like Hmm who gets fucked up to go to he dentist something wrong with
you boy. Hey! I didn't get fucked up to go to the dentist.
I went to the dentist fucked up because I constantly be getting fucked up!
And then you showed up... NOT MY PROBLEM.
Lets Only Write Crazy
Just got back from Dr. Dentist and Nurse Dental Hygienist. Whenever she
was drilling into my teeth with Hygiene Drill, I would go, Hey my eyes are up
here! Drill Tem Eyes, I've been a bad boy! Anyway, first thing
she said when she took a look in my mouth was did you quit smoking?!
And I was like Yes I've been a good boy! Also great track record of
having Some Fine Lookin' Teeth according to Dentist after Dentist.
Which I don't believe because they're not aligned perfectly at all. And
that's a key thing when talkin' about some fine ass teeth. Can't be
crooked. Teeth looking fine individually means nothing, its what they form
together as a team that makes a difference! I feel very strongly about
Its like that old saying... A nice smile requires All
Them Teeth Working Together. Anyway. While in the waiting room,
I was the only one there, so the receptionist gave me the TV remote and was like
ya can watch anything you want. Just... just eeep it, "PG!" And
we all laughed about it because you can't get more than PG on daytime basic
channels. So I turned to Maury and it was all HEY THERE'S ALL THIS
Racism/Incest/Statutory-Rape Combinations Of Filth and I realized oh this
must be what she was referring to. Oh well WHAT'S FUCKIN' ELLEN UP
TO. NOTHING! SHE WASN'T EVEN THERE TODAY. ELLIE KEMPER
WAS FILLING IN. I won't give any more details because of Spoiler
Alerts. Also, I may be confusing Men with Sharks and Women with Lobsters.
Sharks circle or something sometimes, right? And we all KNOW lobsters are
notorious pinchers. Read about it in my new book, Men are From
Sharks, Women are From Lobsters.
Anyway. Rare Evening Entry. So far, great
what else ya got. I came up with another goof-em-up today, after the
Small Dick Nazis insight-em-up, but I can't remember what it is. Also I
figured out a remedy for having consumed some alcohol before dentist
appointment-- got an iced coffee! I figure that there milk and," Sugar
Free Vanilla," will mask any unseemly odor in my MouthSpace. I wonder if
there's a new kind of psychopath who, either sexually or not, gets off by saying
a made up name at Starbucks, and then when its read, they laugh giddily, take
it, and walk away. I dunno, maybe that's a genius way to get in the head
of a character you're playing/working on. Just say to them, Hey I'm
Jack Joe Briggs. Fill it all out not just Jack Joe. I want everyone
behind the counter to know the name Jack Joe Briggs! And then they
call your name 10 minutes later and an hour passes by until you realize oh
wait that was for me. Forgot my fake name! Honest Mistake!
Sure I know how people Do Acting. They figure out
the name of the character and the rest takes care of itself naturally.
What kinda chump you take me for. Sixth paragraph. What crap is
crapping on. Gotta go to some sort of supermarket tomorrow! I can
deal with that because I rely on the products I get from supermarket for living.
Anyway, after this paragraph, gonna take a small break. Food should be
here in 20 minutes or so. Put it in oven for about 30 minutes or so.
Going over all my calculations to verify they were correct immediately after
taking food out of the oven. Putting it back in to make up for that time I
lost with it getting cold outside theoven. Taking it back out, eating
while here. Sweet See ya later!
Lets Only Finish Crazy
paragraph. Aim for 10 over all! Gotta aim for something.
I've learnt that in life. Or, just aim for nothing in particular.
Have a very generic goal which means nothing and hope it manifests itself In
Luck. It's like shit circling the sink. Goes back and forth over and
over before finally running out into the drain. Sure I take shits in
the sink It's Called EFFICIENCY! And, of course, if you're like Donald
Trump, you've gotta flush the toilet 10, 12 times when going! True
story HE SAID THAT! Sink? That cuts down the flushes to maybe 8
or 9. The point is my life is Crap circling the drain but the good news is
Once It Gets To The Drain I WIN!
Eighth paragraph. Start dinner in 15 minutes
or so. Talkin 1 slice of Sicily Pizza: The Pizza With Sicily's Stamp of
Approval Talkin' 1/3rd or so of a nice RigaToni with Bolognese sauce.
It's fun because it's the best of both worlds! Pizza and pasta.
Those two worlds, ya know. I'm starting to get back into Joe Bob
Briggs. There's sentimental value there, because when I was a kid, (I
dunno, 7- 10 years old) he would show up every Saturday Night on some sort of
channel-- my best guess is TNT, and they would show some campy horror movie and
during commercial breaks sometimes he'd talk for 1 or 2 minutes before throwing
it back to the movie. And now he does that on Online Streaming Database
First time I watched it I was like this is just some
asshole reading things off a card as if he's some knowledgeable movie extra
cause thta's the impression I strongly got. He's throwing in all these
bits of knowledge, and I probably correctly assumed oh that's just coming
from his team of writers putting together their research and crappy jokes and
he's the manifestation of that combination. But, you know what? I
dunno! Maybe it's 50%+ him. That'd be pretty impressive!
Also, doesn't seem very, "Woke," He'd probably think I'm a, "Snowflake."
And perhaps I am some sort of, "Asshole," for calling him an, "Asshole," and now
he wants to take me outside and, "bludgeon my face in with his favorite baseball
bat." So yeah the point is I like him again. Meh. Gonna get
food out of the oven Now!
I've Got a Bone To
Pick Which Sounds Like a Good Thing But It Isn'!
give a dog a spare rib, he's having the time of his life! Dunno why I went
to do-- I'd be having the time of my life, too! But anyway
VI Pizza (Or, as Romans call it, "six pizza," got my Dad's order wrong-- first (ald
last, according to him) time he's gotten food from them, and now I'M THE
ASSHOLE for pushin' for it. So anyway I put it in an entry now so
hopefully you will absolve me of being an asshole. ABSOLVE ME
ASSHOLES FOR THINKING I'M AL ASSHOLE LIKE YOU. The unfortunate
thing is I'm enjoying life eating my meal and He's upset and Is it too late
to find another family. It's not a big deal but for the next hour or
two its uncomfortable aroud here and I Don't Wanna Deal Okur?
I mean, there's the element that It's My Fault. He got
this place because of me. I didn't mean to cause anyone ever harm!
AVENGE ME WEBSITE! GO FIND DOORDASH AND, "HACK," THEM FOR SOME REASON NO
ONE IS REALLY SURE OF. Anyway, 11th paragraph. Maybe aim for 12 or
so. Nice even Dozen number. I wonder what the 2020s will be like.
It'll be all you check this out and yo remember this and hey
listen up whats comin' next. Can reasonable people agree the best we
can get out of the decade in some sort of idealish world is fightin' global
arming HARDCORE. I think we can all agree with that because I thought
of it and I'm the only guy here hence We All. I'd like to see whatever
British person at whatever time in their history where they were describing
Democracy to a prince or something and the Democracy proponent guy was like
Well its one person, one vote, and then the prince goes, ok... how many
votes do WE get? The point is British Royalty were the inspiration for
The Horde. Alright end it now after 11. See ya!
December 22, 2019
If you say so. Appaently I trust you implicitly on 100% of all
matters. You say its vanity website? GREAT I'M CONVINCED!
Anyway. Gotta make this entry count. If entries have been getting
progressively worse over the last few months, wihch is my working hypothesis,
all it take is ONE ENTRY to turn things around! Well, the following
entries have to live up to that One Entry-- but the One Good Entry is how we get
on the right track. Anyway. I liked Eddie Murphy on SNL.
Cause part of it was In some way I always knew this was Eddie Murphy but
also this has not a lot in common with the Eddie Murphy I know.
Really cleared things up.
Anyway. Chicken Pot Pie for Dinner. It's
called a Pot Pie because its a pie presumably made in a pot. Chicken?
I dunno where that came from. I finI find it interesting that I can
tolerate Corn on the Cob but find kernels of corn disgusting. Sorta like
how I love baked potatoes... but mashed potatoes is disgusting. I think
the one time I enjoyed Mashed Potatoes was at AppleBees where I would get like
Steak Dinner with Garlic Mashed Potatoes. GARLIC YOU SAY? I'M ON
BOARD WITH SOME GARLIC. VERY VERY SPICY GOTTA PROVE THAT I'M A MAN TO MY
FRIENDS AND FAMILY BY EATING THESE MASHED POTATOES.
What else. I feel like I've been subliminally Counting
Down to the end of the decade. Like yeah things are going okay... new
decade soon! That'll shake things up. Better hold up all my energy
til when I'm gonna need it! To ring in New Decade. I've probably
said this either last year or the year before, but I feel like there's some kind
of pun in regards to SyFy channel showing Twlight Zones for a week during the
New Years and surrounding days and nights. Because hey its like the
twilight bettwen the years. Also instead of Twlight Zone they should
stick with that theme and broadcast all Twlighlt: The Movies, with Joe Bob
Briggsshowing up here and there in commercials to lend his expertease of whats
I've never seen any Twilight Movies. I think my
reasoning, way back when they started, was (Beyond the obvious I'm Too Old For
This Crap/These Teenage Girls are to young for me) I didn' like how Vampires
we're encrounching on our pool of sexually available females. What this
vampire thinks he's better than me? I don't believe it! What
bullshit. Also,Also, when the werewolves show up in the franchise,
people were all like I'm on team Jacob and I'm on team Some Other Guy... you
get the point. You're not being a great team member. You
just watch passively whats going on over the course of several years. Now,
if the writer of the book/movies sponsered a promotion WHOEVER YOU
DECIDE WINS THE HEART OF THIS YOUNG LADY, WE WILL ACKNOWLEDGE THAT CONCLUSION.
Nope. Just you talkin' about being on teams while not contributing even
the smallest bit possible.
I think the best way to tolerate Corn on the Cob is coat that
sucker with way too much salt. So basically you're eating Salt BUt On
Something Physical You Can Bite Into! The point is I really liked SNL with
Edward Murphy. I'm on Team Edward THAT'S REALLY THE OTHER TEAM I
COULDN'T REMEMEBR. Someime alert Eddy Murphy maybe he's interested
in this. Hey I think I have 1/6th of a burrito bowl in the fridge.
Wonder how that's gonna effect my life. For beter or worse? Nothin'
at all? Everything at once? I can't predict the Very Soon To Be Present.
Oh Baby, Baby, Baybe Baybe
Were those unfortunate typos? You bet! Did a part of me
incorrectly think that these typos are insigtful one wy or an ohter? YOU GET
IT you know what could be cool-- write the Great American Novel.
can't be done, tough! Typing it up on computer00 whats the pint is all
being survailled. Writ it on a typewriter? Nah too many
mistakes. Write it with a pen in a notebook? Probably not for
some reaon. I I think that's a wird standard for a beginning or
mediocre or adequately person to set out to do. yeah I feel like
writing a novel-- THE BEST NOVEL!
Cool! Maybe 1 or 2 more paragraphs. 10? Why
bother. Been thinking about and thats a pretty good philosophy in
life. Why Bother. Runner ups-- Who Cares, Well I Got Mine,
Anyway the point is having meals left over from Super Meal is tiredin some
aspects, and wired in others. Hey you left over General Tso's chickn?
Yeah you can eat it again tomorrow WHO THE FUCK WANTS TO DO THAT.
On the other hand, hey you finished a Cicken Pot Pie WHY THE FUCK AM I NO
INSTANTANEOUSLY REWARD WITH A BRAND NEW CHICKENPOT PIE! NO MORE
December 21, 2019
It Is a Certain Time of Day
Or is it?
I don't have all the answers! I've got some-- Not All! I've got roughly
30-40% of the answers-- but not the ones you think! The answers I
have are answers you wouldn't expect and answers you'd assume I had may be way
off! Anyway. Eating a Chipotle, "Bowl," which, had I had them in NYU
as upposed to Chipotle Burrito, would have been my 2nd favorite Bowl.
CAUSE OF MARIJUANA. YA PUT THAT STUFF TO BE SMOKED IN SOME SORT OF PIPE OR
WATER PIPE AND YOU CALL THOSE SUCKERS, "A BOWL." Anyway. Just
watched Cannibal Holocaust on BrrItsCholdFromGhosts.com, and I've got
mixed feelings, but none of those feelings are Strong feelings! It's not
like well part of me loved it HOWEVER... nope. Part of me was
like hey not so bad and part of me was like hey no bueno. I
figure its a good movie to see if I ever go to film school in some mystical
alternate reality, cause I can imagine film students talking about it a lot.
They think it'll make them sound cool! WHAT DUMMIES.
Very controversial film-- to the extent its hard to find it
in many countries. One of the controversial parts is, when filming it,
they actually did harm to/killed six or seven animals. I dunno though.
If its legal to kill an animal for culinary purposes, why not entertainment
purposes? What if they killed it On Camera and then Off Camera they ate
it? Would that suddenly make it Bueno? Another controversial part, I
Can Only Assume, is the name. Cannibal HOLOCAUST?!?!? I DUNNO
WHAT THAT MEANS EXACTLY. AND WHAT I ASSUMED, "HOLOCAUST," MEANT IS
CONTRADICTED BY THE CONTEXT IT HOLDS IN THIS TITLE. SOMEONE BETTER
EXPLAIN WHAT WORDS MEAN TO ME AND FAST! For a while they were
concerned some PPL died on camera for the film. Wow! That'd be
pushing the envelope. BTW, "pushing the envelope," in terms of
Film, means trying to campaign for an Oscar because they come in envelopes.
Is it only Academy Awards where, when they're being presented, the Presenter
needs to be like hey I got this envelope for some reason! Alright,
gimme 5 seconds, gonna Open Up This Envelope. Envelopes got all the
answers, just give me a second!
Probably. I've never watched any other award show
but gotta assume they have slightly different traditions. I don't know why
I'm excited about Eddie Murphy hosting SNL tonight. And that's EXACTLY
WHY I AM EXCITED!!! It's not like a Homecoming to me, cause I
was not born when he was last SNL. And his movies, especially past the
1980's, he's become more of a generic comedy man type kind of guy. So it's
exciting to see hey what's he all about n SNL terms. Anyway.
I know I'm wrong but my favorite Eddie Murphy movie was Life. Where he and
Martin Lawrence Go to Jail For LIFE and i ts a comedy/drama. I dunno
exactly why it struck a pretty deep cord with me, but who am I to argue?
Probably some sort of Guy. Arguing Guy. HEY THATS A GOOD
CHARACTER FOR WHEN I AUDITION FOR SNL. "ARGUING GUY!" Is
Is it possible to audition for SNL like it was Ameican Idol? Cause, IF
SO!!!! I probably shouldn't do it. Save it for when I got all my
comedycrap worked out, you only got one chance to make a good impression!
I learnt that in one of these books I've read over
the last year-- probably Kevin Hart's. Maybe someone else's I DUNNO
I ONLY HAVE 30-40% of the answers! I like to imagine people with low
self esteem in terms of appearence/performing and they audition for a writing
job at SNL and then Lorne Michaels is like hey that was great DO YOU WANT TO
BE A SUPPORTING CAST MEMBER? and then the guys like oh! Oh me!
Oh me oh my! Why, shiver me timbers. You want me... what... you
think I'm... welwell I really don't like acting in addition to not being
experienced at it but HEY WOW WHY NOT!. Anyway, what else.
Having Chipotle II of II for lunch today. No Burrito Tortilla! I
gotta watch my figure! Watch it become big and flabby! Hey sounds
like fun gotta mix things up somehow these days why not mix it up by becoming
skinny then fat again then skinny again...
Wow! Decided to use a Different Color for
today's entry. So far, so good! Fifth paragraph.
That's pretty good, enough to end after this paragraph if I really feel like it!
Boardwalk Empire is pretty good. It's all like what's this crap
going on between Nucky and this prim and proper Irish girl as soon as I think I
got their relationship figured out BAM I REMEMBER HOW IT TURNS OUT FROM
LAST TIME I WATCHED IT! That really doesn't help at all, though.
I remember vaguely how the relationship plays out tangibly-- still have no idea
how it was playing out from moment to moment. Oh well such is life.
Also how is Atlantic City such a big deal. I've heard of Atlantic City
before this television program and it always seemed like hey there's this
place Atlantic City.. nothin' that special.. just seems to exist for some
reason. Probably some gambling going on there, that'd be my guess.
Tha's pretty good I guess.
What else is going on. Had a real late lunch
today. Alright past 3:00 and I still have 1/8th of Lunch left to go!
I dunno if Lorne Michaels likes meta-comedy, but that'd be a solidly mediocre
impression to do when auditioning. Writer who is flabbergasted and modest
and insecure about becoming a cast member but deep down is thrilled. Oh
well such is life. I dunno. What else is there on TV and
by TV I mean My Computer. Mom explicitly said to em a week or two ago
Alright For Real now we're gonna get you a TV by the end of the month.
End of month is creeping up! The goos news is I didn't believe for one
second it would pan out that way at all. It's good news because Hey
why get your hopes up for something that won't happen Just A Waste Of Time one
I like how Weezer has a song called Represent and
John Lennon had a song called Imagine. I like to imagine they're
synonyms if you're being liberal about what Represent means. And
why shouldn't you be? It's fun to be liberal about what words mean, that's
how I feel! Anyway. In terms of What Kinda Food I Got
Left Over, I got Part III of III Steak/Seafood Combo. May have it or
dinner tonight-- may have it for lunch tomorrow-- maybe even have it For Dinner
Tomorrow! I'm not here to predict the future! I can't even predict
the present! Past I'm pretty sure of. I know what
happened in the past Way More than the average fool. What else is going
on. Aiming for 10 paragraphs seems like the way to go as of this moment.
Whatta ggreat moment! It's the one that Is This!
Hmm, more words and crap. I have a lot
of crappy recurring dreams. One is where I'm smoking a cigarette and I'm
like Hey I remember IN THE PAST Smoking Cigarettes (The past I am thinking
of In The Dream is Previous Dreams as if they were real, which, when you're
thinking In a Dream that Past Dreams were real-- kinda makes sense, to be
honest!) Sometimes I think about the mentality being
smoking cigarettes. What does it really mean. One theory I have is
its just a way to say Fuck You to life. Hey all things
considered you want me to live 80 years? Well FUCK THAT I'm gonna live 70
years JUST TRY TO STOP ME! For me, it's probably influenced by
some Freudian shit. Mom smoked cigarettes, Dad was always on her case
about it, us kids knew it was bad for her... I feel like that kind of
background probably left some sort of imprint in terms of hey should I smoke
or not smoke what's the deal.
Great. What else is going on.
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. YEAH THANKS GOT IT. A
THING IS THE THING THAT IT IS. THANKS FOR YOUR GREAT INSIGHT JERK.
Ninth paragraph. Figure 10 sounds just peachy. Figure 10?
That some sort of sequel to the sequel of a Figure 8 which is a thing my
producers have told me? Wait I have producers? Hah!
Not a bad idea of what I should call the voices in my head. Just producers
to the TV show that is my mind. Uhh dunno that sounds Like Terrible.
Oh well that's life for ya. I also have a recurring dream in which I
play online poker and I double up after double up after double luck... and I end
up with 2-3 million dollars... and I end up blowing it all! Because my
mindset, in this fictional scenario, in a dream, was like hey easy come easy
Cool! Even worse than admitting my
favorite Eddie Murphy movie is POSSIBLY Life.. the runner up, based on what came
to my mind immediately, was... Bowfinger. It's a good movie!
And the jerk plays 2 parts in it! Why am I ashamed about liking Bowfinger?!?
Part of its charm is that it fly's under the radar, so to speak. Not
supposed to earn SILVER when ranking movies. Just gotta be some spot a
little bid above average. 10th paragraph. What else is
going on and crap. The point is Christmas is coming up soon. The
other point is is Masochism some weird reversal of Christmas. Chris Mas.
Mas chrism. I dunno you figure that one out I got no desire to dwell
on it anymore at all.
The great news is More Entry! I suppose.
Probably the worst thing going on in my life these days is my bathroom is DIRTY
AS FUCK. Shit load of mold on the floor. Dirty sink, dirty table
surrounding sink, 3x as much garbage on top of garbage pile that originally was
just a regular garbage bin but now is overflowing by 300%! I sure hope a
Christmas Miracle happens and my bathroom is clean again without me having to
spend 2 hours cleaning it myself! I got things to do! Like, well,
hmm. I guess I don't have things to do but whatever get off my back
Anyway, jeez. 12th paragraph!
I don't mind having Boardwalk Empire as my Go-To for the next couple of weeks.
It's solidly in the Good Enough category or Things We Can Judge.
Man having a TV would be sweet as fuck. It means I wouldn't have
to keep transporting my laptop from Where TV Should Be (so I could watch it in
bed) to Where Laptop Should Be (So I could write @ Laptop in the direction I
SHOULD Be Writing!) I was looking up Horoscopes and I'm Very Upset they
don't do Horoscopes Down To The Day. What, so I share this kinda day
with every 12th person? Not exclusive enough. Gotta make it so I
share it with every 365th person! If you want me to take you seriously.
13th paragraph! I dunno, what else.
Lets make this the last paragraph. Why bother with a 14 or 15 when
13 is all ya need. Hmm maybe I can watch The Watch men.
Pretty good title for a group of men. Hey they Watchmen like a Watch
Watches involve a lot of moving parts very technically supreme and complicated
these men are like watches Tic Tock mother fuckers. Pretty sure that's
how that goes. I wish I could count on 2 hands the number of times I've
been like HOW DO CLOCKS WORK on this website. And I still
have no idea. That's a good Contest Idea. HOW
TO WATCHES WORK E-MAIL ME AT
Maybe aim for 15 after all. Sweet! The
pint is I have about 1/6th-1/8th of Chipotle Bowl left over and have no real
desire to eat it any time soon-- possibly all the way up to when Dinner rears
its ugly head. The more I watch The PPL Under The Stairs: Teh Horror
Movie-- both in terms of watching it more and becoming older each time I see it--
I continue to realize to a greater and greater extent the people
under the stairs are nothing to fear, they're the good guys-- they're the
victims-- we're on the same team! What, just cause They Live Under
The Stairs we're supposed to be afraid of them? Doesn't add up
to me. Seems like capitalism pitting groups against groups to keep them
away from criticizing a corrupt system. They want audiences to be
feuding with PPL Under The Stairs. WELL I AIN'T FALLING FOR IT ANYMORE
THAN I ALREADY HAVE!
Probably last paragraph. Sweet! I
like it when Bernie Sanders speaks. There's gotta be something in
terms of Telling It Like It Is that makes it easier to talk about it... Cause
You Just Tell It Like It Is. No need to worry, just keep goin!
Crap like that. What else is going on. Hopefully the
last paragraph. Hopefully for both You and Me. I also
like that the protagonist in Under2Stairs2Furious's name is Fool.
What a great title I hope one day people will unanimously consider me A Fool!
Anyway entry is just about over. I'll see ya'll some future time.
December 20, 2019
No More Titles......
Hey I really wanna do away with titles completely for some months or something.
It's been a curse and a burden on my psyche and my writing. Oh well
such is life. Not anymore! Starting... NOW. I dunno
what any of this means. Well what's going on in the wide world of sports.
Bernie Sanders has a beef with Major League Baseball. Not 100% what that's
about. My theory, based on the very little base knowledge I've just
communicated, is it has something to do with they don't pay Minor League People
enough so now MLB is threatening to get rid of them completely instead of givin'
em a fair share. That's my best guess with ignoring any ACtual
Summation of what's going on. Seems like the kind of thing that might
explain that headline.
Anyway Big News I'm getting Chipotle for lunch and I'm going
with the Tofu option for Meat...Slash Tofu. I love Tofu when its in a nice
hot and sour soup. Maybe I'll like it when its in a Chipotle!
Probably, that's my guess. When I first got access to
ShiverMeTimbers.Fakewebsitenamethatsasynonym.net, I was like HOLY SHIT this
is gonna last me many months! Now, 3 or 4 weeks in, Hmm almost done
with the stuff thats probably worth watching. Talk about a real
Shiver Me Timbers. I hope one day to find out What Timbers Are
and why they're in risk of shivering. I hope one day to watch Watchmen.
The title told me to! Also, very critically acclaimed. But Hey Maybe
I Don't Deserve It. What have I done In Life to warrant being
appropriately entertained? Guess I'm some sort of Entertainment
Masochist. Yeah sure there's good TV out there but I'm gonna deprive
myself of it because Sexual Pleasure And Relief.
I dunno. What else is going on. I think I'm a
real great innovater when it comes to biting ones nails. Obviously, people
who bite their names, you'r biting the End Of The Nail. The top of the
nail. Hey check out this life hack-- use a nail clipper to loosen up
some Nail in the semi-circle AT THE BOTTOM of the nail, then bite that sucker
off! It's FUN AS FUCK and its a whole new extravagant and fancy and
Its Worth It you gotta believe me. Hey... looking at my hand... it
appears the semi-circle is ONLY ON THUMBS. How come I never learnt
that anywhere? Seems like the kind of thing you'd notice/are taught in 2nd
grade. Your thumb nail is different from the rest because of Base Nail
Semi-Circle. Wow I feel like I've figured out one of the last great
secrets of the universe. Bottom Nail Of Thumb Semi Circle.
Should I be awarded a Nobel prize? I dunno-- that's for the voters to
Yeesh. But, yeah, anyway-- the point is use nail
clipper to incision a little bid of the opining in Semi Circle, then bite it a
lot, suddenly you got a nice Sucker of a Nail you're dealing with! Real
Exquisite, too. You ain't never bite a nail like this! Premium Nail
For Bitings! I'm probably gonna have a 2nd title this entry, despite
the first title. Oh well life is crap who am I to argue with life
being crap by trying to make my world a little bit better. Might as well
just Settle For Crap-- life could be a lot worse than Crap, so Life Being
Crap is a problem I can deal with. Watchin' Boardwalk Empire. I
wonder how much of Steve Buscemi's early persona of being a Kind Of Weird Guy
Hey What's His Deal was due to his Name. People always assume its his
look. But maybe the last name Buscemi had an impact, too!
Hey weird name. Weird name, Weird Guy. All subliminal but either
way it's something to think about.
Wow! Gonna finish a full 5 paragraph block before
lunch even started. That harkens back to the days of A Month Or Two
Ago where entries were at least 10 paragraphs! I DON'T BELIEVE
IT SHORT AND SWEET I'VE BEEN REAL GREAT AT LIVING UP TO THE ADAGE. I
sure hope this lunch materializes sometime soon. The delivery is 10
minutes behind where it should be... might end up being Canceled for one reason
or another I don't care to find out but I will Go Crazy and write an angry
letter to DoorDash.shivermetimbers.us. Oh man how happy would it make
me to see the order go from Heading to resturant to At Resturaunt.
I might just cum in my pants! Ehhh. GGonna take a break
from now to Lunch Time Actually Happening. See ya in a bit!
OHOLY SHIT ITS AT RESTURANT I JHUS HAD TO LET YOU KNOW ALRIGTH BE BACK IN 20
MINU OR SO@
Titles Have Become Too
Powerful. There's No Checks & Balances.
The point is I don't think this Tofu is great enough to get
it regularly but you know what Not That Bad Either. And the Great News is
that it came at all. I was just thinking about how there was 1
resturant my family used to go to where they had Popcorn Shrimp as an appetizer
and We All Got A Kick Out Of That but I have never seen it since. It's
like fried baby shrimp. Like KFC has Popcorn Chicken. But each is
1/2 as big and is Shrimp not Chicken. The Magnanimous News is
neither burrito bowl I got today has sour cream. Sure I know what,
"Magnanimous," means. Something Else than what that sentence implies.
Hey, great, just great. Bought a new comlpete large
bottle of vodka today. That should last me at least 1 week and hopefully as much
as 2 weeks! Seventh paragraph. Figure I can end this when lunch is
over, no reason to force something if it just ain't right. Using Tortilla
to make my own Burrito out of Burrito Bowl is essentially getting Mu Shu from
China Resturaint. They give you these shells you gotta figure it out
exactly as a puzzle if you've got the time but probably not so just dump some
crap into the shell and eat it without any effort to hold it all together or
make ie evently distributed or anything like that C'mon You've Got Things To Do!
Ya know what Sofritas is pretty good. Anyway. You might think
Burrito Shell is just empty calories but have you ever known the joy of eating a
burrito when you don't give a shit about calories or Health Implications.
You just take a big bite into that shit and Oh Boy Now We're Havin' Fun!
8TH PEARAGRAPH. Checks & Balances would be a
good title for a movie about a guy who works at a bank... and deals with
checks... and balances... YEAH! For some reason after
that sentence I suddenly had the urge I Wanna Re-Watch Ikiru. He
doesn't work at a bank but he deals with bureaucratic bullshit which is what
Bank Person would be doing if he deals with Checks & balences. I wonder if
Japanese People are overtly concious about how hey we're the only people who
hav ever been Nuclear Bombed as an attack and not a test. Gotta think
they'd be like hey what was that all about that ain't right! They
have every reason to turn towards Nationalism based on Other Countries Nuclear
Bombing Them, but they can keep it together! I assume! It's
another MLB/Minor Leagues/Bernie Sanders situation. What I Assume is
Probably Right but who knows for sure?!?!
Wonderful. I don't know if I should shave or not.
On the one hand, I don't know. And on the other hand, Nobody
Knows. If I had it my way, I write another 2 paragraphs to get to an
even 10. Lets see how that shakes out. What else. Got next 2
dinners worked out, next lunch worked out, 2 slices of pizza left-- 1 for
breakfast 2morrow, Maybe Even 1 for between lunch/dinner snack today (Holy Shit
I Would Love That!) Also my Mom got chicken fingers from some place 2 or 3
days ago so I would be a good Son to finish that for her cause she doesn't want
to! Plus, an interesting way to make that a lunch is pairing it woth
Ciplotle Tortilla Shell which otherwise I wouldn't use! Oh and I also
got 2 slices of pizza left over, one of which I'll have for breakfast tomorrow.
Hey last paragraph. Figure I'll go back to watching Boardwalk
Empire/listening to Music I've listened to 1000 times before for the rest of the
day. Both, probably. I think one of my fondest memories of my first 2
years in college (which arguably are my best times ever) is eating meals with
other people. Dinner, a nice group of 4 or 6. Lunch, a nice group of
2. The point is eating together provides a nice framework for hey we're
gonna be friends together on account of enjoying Buffet Style Adequate Food From
NYU. I'd remember fondly the time I would have lunch at Lunch
Time at Stuyvesant but didn't really shake out that way. iFFirst
semester freshman year I would just go get McDonalds by myself. After
that, I figured I'd just chill by myself some where In School. Which
gradually transformed into I'm just chilling WITH OTHER PEOPLE while I'm In
School. The good news is I just finished Lunch AT SAME TIME As
Entry and the EVEN BETTER news is I got a slice of pizza to eat for Snack
Afternoon. See ya later!
December 19, 2019
I Know This Website
Like I Know The Back Of My... Something. I Forget What.
hmm titlin' makes me feel good. Anyway, hey, Starting Entry w/
Lunch concurrently. I gotta do something! Might as well Double Up on
Something! Suddenly not am I only doing Something but I am doing
somethings! Yeesh. That's right-- Some THINGS.
I can walk and chew gum at the same time! Hey that's pretty good are
you sure you're not some sort of super human? I never said that!
The jury is still out on that so I'm not 100% confident saying, one way or the
I'm Starting To Come
To Terms With...
I'm starting to come to terms with No Topping Pizza tastes better than
any pizza with any topping including your favorite or top 5 toppings.
Nothing is better regardless of how much you like a certain topping!
I'm starting to come to terms with I'm watching The Exorcist
III and I have never seen the Exorcist II and its completely possible there waswas
no Exorcist II and it's a huge hoax even bigger than the Mars Landing (The
moon is part of mars, we must remember).
I'm starting to come to terms with my haircut is never
parallel. I can comb it to one side one way, but it would never be the
same if I tried to do it the same way on the other side!
I'm starting to realize, based on being unable to draw people
a step above stick figure but 10 steps below an accurate representation of a
real person, I apparently have no idea what humans look like in real life
so how could I be expected to know what people look like in a Drawing
Whatever What Else Is
I liked Trumps counter-response at his rally to getting impeached was Hey I
don't FEEL impeached. Do you? Can't argue with a feeling!
Which is essentially less than have a step away from what do words even mean.
Impeachment. I don't, I never saw that word beyond presidents. Some
weird old word no one knows what it means. Hey, you know, they want to
impeach me? Fine, I'm impeached. Means nothing! Hey
just cracked the code for his next response. Genius is I.
UUh oh that sounds real dystopian. Oh well the point is I figured
it out first, who cares ho much of a negative effect it'll have on our national
discourse! I REALIZED IT BEFORE MOST PEOPLE WHERES MY AWARD?!?
Anyway, what else is going on. lets call this
the 4th paragraph. Gotta call it something! Gonna pick up Bottle
of Alcohol on my next walk. On the one hand, Things Are Gonna Get Worse
Before They Get Better. On the other hand, I can drink all my worries
away. I must have mentioned it a dozen times, but poetry-wise, my
favorite pun I ever made in life was Drink til your heart's content.
AND YOU ALL DOUBTED PUNS COULD BE HIGH ART I SHOWED YOU! Anyway.
GoGoGot a Pizza Pie last night! Had 2 slices! Mom had 1! Having
2 right now! Can you figure out how many slices are left?
Congratulations you're better at math than the president is.
Look what are numbers anyway. I like pizza, I know you plebs like pizza.
You know how have to call up the delivery service over and over so they don't
forget you want pizza from them. Then you have to tip them Nothing because
Hey Why Not they ca't complain!
I think that's a good Trump-impression that I haven't
seen totally capitalized upon. Trump as Observational/Jerry-Seinfeld-type
Stand Up Comedian but everything he's observing about the minutia of life is WAY
off. Wow, fun. Hmm. I think the most amusing defenses
Republicans use to obstruct justice from being done and shirk their
constitutional duty is You can't impeach a president who was elected
president! That's the first thing that comes to mind. Oh,
also the one where Trump is Jesus but more percolated. The point is,
I'm boggled at the fact that ONE PERSON like this exists, let along
HUNDREDS and let alone THEY'RE ALL ELECTED OFFICIALS COMPRISING 45% OF
OUR ELECTED OFFICIALS OR SO.
Anyway, what else is crap. This may be the last
paragraph Not of Life but of This Entry. The GREAT news is that I was
thinking about it and I was like ya know what if I don't have anything else I
can totally responsibly fit in a slice of pizza as a snack today's afternoon.
Anyway Debate Tonight! I'm rooting for Bernard Sanders on account of him
representing the ideals that most closely align with mine and with the
Traditional Democratic Party. How come there's no FiveThirtyEight
article about Why have the Democrats shifted so far to the center over the
last 30 years? Nope! Only a why have the Democrats shifted so
far to the left over the last.. 3 years... where there was no presidential
election to go one way or the other... and, oh, Hey, They Crushed It At The 2018
election but lets just ignore that... UH OH TOO FAR LEFT!
Anyway I'm gonna Crush Life by ending the entry now and go back to watching
some sort of Exorcism Movie I don't have all the details! See ya!
December 17, 2019
I'll Title You Good!
hmm title or entry. title. entry. title. title.
title entry. Hmm. I'll get back to you.
I'll Entry You Good!
Hey Alright! Both! Its the best of both worlds. They should
have called, "War of The Worlds," The Best of Both Worlds.
Really put a positive spin on things. Yeah there's some fighting and
presumably many casualties On BOTH Sides, but the cream of both worlds' crop
will rise to the top. Our good friend Charlie Darwin taught us about that.
Survival of the fittest! Gotta look at things half as glass full.
Also, if your glass is half full of cream, boy, I really hope you got the other
half filled with Strong, Strong Espresso. Only solution that comes to
mind. Anything else you'd be like Hey this is too much cream!
Anyway. Got SuperMarket today. Experimenting with a new Hot Dish.
It's called arroz con pollo and it's taken the neighborhood by storm.
Not sure what that accomplishes. But I will have it
as a lunch in about an hour, that much is true! The other good news is
that I bought some Heavily Salted/other spiced Tortilla chips and I'm ALWAYS
happy when I get those name-brand Original Style Tortilla Chip-esque Tortilla
Chips! It knocks all other chips and salty snacks out of the water!
But I still somehow don't see it as my go-to. And, who knows, maybe if it
was, I'd grow tired and weary of it. I can't answer hypothetical
questions! Like, if I was a Supreme Court Justice, asked hey this girl
you tried to rape would you have raped her if you could? HYPOTHETICAL
CAN'T ANSWER. That's the kind of moral compass and value-oriented person
we should all be learning about favorably in High School Social Studies the next
century and whatnot. That doesn't sound possible. Oh well I guess
NO MORE HIGH SCHOOL SOCIAL STUDIES is the logical result.
Kavanaugh is not going anywhere. That means High
School Social Studies IS. Good thing I changed my major from
that just before the sinking ship! Well, at the very least, "Both
Sides-ism," will make a STRONG mark on the curriculum. Hey Whatta
wonderful world! I dunno how things are gonna shake out, one way or
another, though. No middle ground. Either Good or Bad.
Pick a side! Anyway. In the trailer for Glass: The Movie, there's a
clip of Unbreakable's Son in a comic book store and in the shot you can see the
aisle of comic books that says Villains right over his head and I was
100% duped into thinking that was a hidden secret like Oh shit this kid is
gonna turn into a villain! That'll shake things up! He didn't,
though. Maybe he'll get around to it in Anonymous. Suddenly
writing Anonymous has taken on a new purpose. Make that kid
a super villain for some reason nobody is really sure of. Great, what
else is going on. Gonna take a break now. Resume Entry When
I don't wanna pick a side between good and bad? What if I wanna be 75%
good and 25% bad? Who are you to tell me I can't be bad as long as its
under 50% because presumably if I'm 50.1% good Then I'm Roughly Technically Good
On Average All Things Considered. Makes sense to me. Really
digging this shudder.com. There's another good basis for a Website Name
for Horror Movie/Shows Streaming Service. Something that incorporates
the grave or something with the website. There's a pun to be
made there. Itcamefrombeyondthewebsite.com not great but you get
the idea-- there's probably one ideal name for the website based on that sorta
pun. Anyway, I dunno. I'll be back a little bit later With Actual
Lunch to correspond with writing. This was just an in-between paragraph!
Hey, remember the song Inbetween Days? By The Cure? And then
FAMOUSLY adapted by Ben Folds of The Ben Folds Five. ...thats a good song.
That's the point. Hey i like this song. MAKES ME LAUGH!
And you all doubted me. Doubted that I... would
eat... lunch... today. Anyway Arroz is ok, the Con Pollo is
better though! And this specific dish is heavy on the arroz and not the
pollo. Anyway. Not 100% happy with Entertainment Consuming Habits of
the last few days, leading into the next couple of weeks. Boardwalk Empire
+ Stuff I've seen on shudder.com + Stuff I haven't seen on shudder.com!
I've noticed the Arroz tastes better when you're eating it really quickly.
Just stuffing your gullet time after time with rice, tastes alright that way!
You savor each bite? Not quite as good. Anyway. Poured myself
a beer. Because hey Adult Men like beers maybe if I drink beer I will be
rewarded somehow with sex like how many Adult Men are for various reasons.
Hey late lunch means dinner is ALMOST HERE RELATIVELY.
4 hours or so as of now. That means if I was watching an insanely long
movie, that gets me 70,75% there! I think the people of Spain/Latin
America should sue My Supermarket for the mediocre version of Arroz Con Pollo.
They're hurting the arrox con pollo brand! Should be illegal is the point!
What paragraph are we up to. Sixth. Figure I'll just stop at
whatever time I feel like! Anway. Punk Baby was born about 6 weeks ago. I
can't wait to see it grow while at the same time not changing at all. It will
get older just like anything else does, and at some point presumably won't be a
baby anymore. But it'll remain the same more or less. Such is life!
What else is in store for today. Probably some Store
Stuff, that'd be my guess. No what else do I Have To Do For Rest of
Today. Well, there's dinner. Then a good 1-2 hours listening to
music anticipating the sweet release of sleep and Breakfast right after sleep.
What happens until then, though? Probably 4 hours of listeing to music
WITHOUT the joy of anticipating the sweet release of sleep and Breakfast right
after sleep. NOPE! Only the sweet release of having dinner than
listening to music then going to sleep then having breakfast. Everything
gets pushed back a notch, though, is the point.... ... ...Too little chicken.
Too little Great Taste from chicken. Too little Love o' me for the meal
altogether! Anyway, I dunno. See ya later!
December 16, 2019
Wow! An Entry!
I Never Saw That Coming!.
Wow, a bold word is un-bolded when the rest of the phrase is in bold.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT! I NEVER SAW THAT COMING!!!
Sure some nice Stylin' Words 'n crap like that, though, I'm on board!
I dreamt there was a new sequel in the Unbreakable/Split/Glass franchise
called Anonymous. I won't reveal too much because Spoiler Alerts!
I want you to see this movie Never in some sort of Nowhere Place and go in with
a complete Nothing Mentality. I like Boardwalk Empire. I assume
there's a pun or two intended in that title. Bored? Walk Empire.
Good way to fix your Nothing Head in a Nowhere Place. Walk along the
empire when you're bored. Well, that's the only Pun I can currently
think of. I Swear I Thought Of Others in the past, though! Maybe
you can figure some out yourself. If so, e-mail them to me at @.@.com.
I had to pony up A LOT of money to petition Internet to allow me to have an
@.@.com e-mail. A. LOT. @.@ kinda looks
like some sort of weird smiley face. YOU FIGURE IT OUT!
ANOTHER PARAGRAPH? I'LL BELIEVE IT WHEN I SEE IT!
Ye-- Oh, oop, there it is. Sorry. Spoke a little too quickly.
Speaking of speaking quickly-- that's my lame claim to fame. A kid I was
in school with from K-~4, his mother was BRIEFLY in the Guinness Book of World
Records for World's Fastest Talker. Like, you give her a script,
she could belt it out as fast as possible, presumably while being measured that
she's being coherent enough. Also-- how did I find out she lost her
title? I never verified it here or there. I think the teacher
announced it to the class in 2nd grade and we were all very proud. Then
somewhere along the line I remember learning hey she lost her title.
Couldn't have been from the kid himself-- He Was An Asshole and I'd never talk
to him directly. Also, his particular brand of assholery would prevent him
from revealig the sad truth that his family has been dishonored.
Anyway. Gonna take a walk at some point over the next
few paragraphs. Gotta take a walk! Then gotta eat lunch! Then
try to live the rest of my life Coherently Enough so Guinness World Records will
let me keep the title of The Least Coherent Person of people where They're
Still Somewhat, Somehow Minuscule-y Coherent Just Enough To Be Decoded By
Advanced Metrics and Measures. Jeez. If we pronounce
Christmas as, "Chris-mas," does that mean back when they made up Christmas
originally, people were pronouncing Christ as, "Chris[silent t]"? I've
given us all a lot to think about this Merry Holidays. Man I hate Christmas
so much I'm gonna say Holidays instead and there's nothing regular average folk
can do about it Mwa Hah Hah Hah! I guess I'm some sort of super
villian master mind according to Fox News. First he comes for the
word Christmas. What's next? ...Who cares! CHRISTMAS IS OUR
WORD OUR LIFE REVOLVES AROUND CHRISTMAS! Probably, right? Could
I have been my coherent in that riff? Probably! But such is life I
gotta maintain my title of being just coherent enough! Such is life when
you're a record holder at something. Can't let that record slip away!
My life revolves around being Completely Minus One Incoherent! Anyway
gonna take a walk right now. See ya soon!
Ford Vs Ferrari is
about Gerald Ford vs Guy Fieri.
Wow! Not even worthy of a throwaway 1 sentence in a blob of paragraphs.
Nope! Either title or nothin'! ya know who I'd support in Ford vs
Ferrari? The one who takes global warming serious enough to transition to
completely electric cars/however you wanna power cards just Not Through Oil.
They've got my support! Anyway. Beside Trump & Republicans, gotta
imagine the oil industry is a close 2nd for Modern Day Ultra Villains when
people look back, right? The point is My Dad said I had too many varieties
of Chips in Kitchen Cabinet. I had three bags! A Weird Lays
Concoction that tastes like shit, a nice Sun Chip, and a nice Pop Chips.
Decided to take 2 of them up to my room to placate him. Brought up the Sun
Chips! I may have those here and there I like 'em! I brought up the
weird Lays, "Thick Cut," BBQ flavor but man this is weird tasting I don't
If I was making a vanity record and I was Guy Fieri I
think you cuold do worse than a title of Just Some Guy or something along
those lines. I figure around 90% of music is Vanity Music. Myself
fact, of that 90%, my vanity music covers around 40% of all Vanity music in and
of itself! Anyway. I hate Christmas so much but the only thing I
hate more than Christmas: The Concept is Christmas: The Word NO WE DON'T
SAY THAT WORD ANYMORE. Like that one play from Shakespeare. Or
that one Guy from Harry Potter. Christmas is just a mix of Shakespeare
and Harry Potter, that's the point. How do I define Vanity Music?
If it fits at least 2 of the following three things-- going into it thinking
II'm gonna get a kick out of this!-- going into it knowing
I don't know what I'm doing and I'm not super talented-- going into if
you're in a position of already having some sort of audience already to inflict
this music upon.
Whatta jip! Also, I got 2.5 of that. I'm gonna
get a kick out of this? YEP IN FACT I CONTINUE TO GET A KICK OUT OF IT EVERY
DAY! I dunno what I'm doing? It's true I can play some chords and
riffs but it ain't special! And, because of my illness, it FEELS
like I'm in a position of already having some sort of audience! BLAM
2.5! Sixth paragraph. Maybe keep writing for some reason no one
is quite sure of. Anyway. I was looking through State By State Polls
for Democratic Primary and wtf why haven't I been doing this all along.
Getting e-mails from candidates' teams, reading puff pieces/hit jobs, reading
tweets of insiders-- I was woefully unprepared to see the actual reality of
where they're at. And it's not like it's in 2 years. Starts in 2
months! Basically Joe Biden is a clear front runner, Sanders is a pretty
clear 2nd, then Warren is sort of third but Buttegig is doing really well in
some states, so I dunno, tied for 3rd?
Hey I don't like it either but we're never gonne get out
of 2nd/3rd by Not Being Aware Of It! Cause its only gonna get more Set
In. Establishment is gonna call it for Biden as soon as possible.
It's an uphill fight! Jack and Jill went up the hill... Only To Fight!
#JJFight. Anyway, figure I'll call it quits after this paragraph.
What they should do-- before Iowa, Sanders/Warren release a statement clarifying
if one of us has a clear advantage in the primaries betwee the two of us, we'll
endorse the other one Immediately. Sounds like a strange thing to do
that might completely backfire and isn't possible given Actual Real Life
Politics and Stuff, but I would like it! Anyway, what else would I like.
I dunno Warren or Sanders for president that sums it up for now. Crap.
Alright, see ya later!
December 14, 2019
Hey, Remember This
Title? That's Okay, Me Neither.
Well, I do for the next 20, 30 minutes. Then its gone. Gettin some
Very Important Pizza for lunch today. And breakfast the next two days.
And 2 or 4 pieces going in the freezer which apparently makes them last for a
month or two! Who woulda known freezers would pay off so big in
dividends and exponentially and good interest acquired. I'm indebt
towards freezers for the rest of my life is the point. I don't like
watching movies on Shudder completely. hey I like these movies but
don't tell me how to respond viscerally to it. Maybe I wanna shudder,
maybe i don't! I don't respond well to commands! Gimme some space so
I can figure this one out by myself.
On the other hand, I get to watch movies I like and if it
means I won't fully enjoy them based on the title of the website they're on,
oh well thats the price one pays these days for Interweb Content. What would I
have called Shudder if it was up to me. Hmm. letswatchhorrormovies.org.
Anyway, hey, great! I guess. Reanimator. Fun movie! Very
short movie! I like that in a movie! Short and sweet! Get in,
get out, say your prayers, go to sleep, wake up in a bed that's not yours!
Re-animate 'er? What if I wanna re-animate HIM. Doesn't seem
right to be gender exclusive when we're talking about re-animating people.
I remember when it was Spring 2008 and I was in the glorious days of my youth I
would pick up Pizza Pie and POSSIBLY eat the whole thing at once. Possibly
not! My memory isn't what it used to be. Or... at least... I
don't think it is. Hah! Finally a sentence that resmbles
a joke. Gonna take a break to finish Re-animator, start up Entry again
when pizza becomes one with my being. See ya soon!
Lunch Is Here.
Entry Shall Reconvene!
Well, three paragraphs will get me to 5 total overall! And I believe 5 is
a multiple of five which is what I'm all about! Anyway. 2 slices of
8 done. 1 for breakfast the next two mornings. Possibly 2 for lunch
tomorrow, possibly my Mom will have 2 over the next day or so, possible I can
Freeze 2 or 4 for 1-2 months! The point is I REGRET NOTHIN. I wonder
what happens when I finally finsh Re-animator. Part of me watns to take a
break from shuddering and maybe watch Boardwalk Empire. And then
EVEN MORE shuddering when A Mother and Son Have Sexual Relations.
Spoiler alert! I know I've said it before, but I still can't wrap my head
around why Family Insest is so popular on porn sides. EEEYYY THE SISTER
OF YOURS WANTS TO SUCK YOUR BUSINESS. YOURE STEPMOTHER IS INTO YOU
BULLSHIT. BBut then that always leaves me to the conundrum-- are
"popular" videos on porn sites actually representive of wat the people want OR
what porn websites want us to see?
It's weird to imagine people liking Sister/StepSister porn
ESPECIALLY IF THEY HAVE SISTERS. For me, its just an abstact concept.
But, for them, it triggers some feelings deep inside that I hope they're not
100% on board with. The point is THIS PIZZA IS FUCKIN' REAL PIZZA LIKE A
QUALITY NY (Manhattan) PIZZA FINALLY LIFE IS PAYING OFF TO SOME EXTENT. iI
like porn that is, "PMV," which means essentially Porn Set to Music.
Uhhh, maybe I can figure this one out even better by nyself. It's a real
Do-it-yourself type of thing. Why should I have to succumb to what
some other person thing porn matches with music? I can do it my own and
it'll be 10x more effective! That's my guess....
Anyway, 1 more paragraph to go. I dunno if its a real
thing, but when I watch movies With some pornography (at the least, womens
brests) it seems like generation by generation, women's breasts seem to be
diffetent. Maybe its just a difference of what
pornographers/regular-movies-which-happen-to-show-books, or maybe hey
attractive ladies from 1980's breasts are somehow different from those in the
2010's. That's what I've got my money on! Brests have changed!
Anyway, a few more sentences and then back into the hopeless haze of Afternoon.
Anyway, what else is going on. Not much. Figure I'll finish watching
Re-animator, chill out, DJ some music for myself, see where that takes me.
Gotta take my somwehere! Otherwise, who would care! Mabe have half a
slice right now! HOLY SHIT IMAGINE THAT I ALMOST CAME IN MY PANTS.
See ya later.
December 13, 2019
Maybe If I Write A
Lunch It Will Help Me Eat An Entry.
Hmm... maybe I just want to write based on HUNCH while
eating an ENTREE. I'll get back to you after I figure this crap
out. Had my birthday yesterday! Just kind of gotten into the routine
of celebrating it on December 12 every year-- got NO IDEA where that came
from! Next time someone tells you they're in their, "birthday suit," I
implore you to go, ...so placenta, then. I'll put you down for
placenta. Got Chipotle for lunch today to celebrate and enact some
sort of Post-Birthday After Party. The bad news is they covered one with
what I can only assume is sour cream which looked disgusting and I
scraped/mopped up as much as I could, put it in microwave, and the little bit
left? I'm like, yeah, if I close my eyes I can imagine this tastes like
White Sauce from Halal Folks. Also, why are my taste buds and my eyes
connected? Really should see some sort of specialist about that.
Anyway, learned a real great FastFoodHack. You can
get a tortilla on the side with any burrito bowl. It's like getting a
whole burrito, but you can get it on the side for free! I love it because
I can't get my head around eating a 300 tortilla shell with each bowl, but if I
just get 1 between 2 bowls, split that sucker up, Now whose laughing like an
idiot? Not m--... wait, hold on. Do i WANT to be laughing like an
idiot in this scenario. Or do I want Chipotle to be lauhging like an
idiot. Or maybe some sort of spectator/audience to the whole conflict,
maybe they're laughing like idiots. Anyway. At what exact
birthdays do we go from YAY EVERYTHING'S COMIN UP MIKEY to HEY THIS IS
FUN FOR SOME REAON WHY NOT SPOIL MYSELF AND WRITE HAPPY BIRTHDAY ON MY
FACE IN A SHARPIE AND PUT IT ON FACEBOOK BBECAUSE I THOUGHT IT'D MAKE ME
LOOK COOL to Great another nail in the coffin of being an adult
to great another nail in the coffin closer to death.
Anyway. Aiming for 5 paragraphs today! Made a
gentleman's agreement with my brother to go see a Third Eye Blind/Saves The Day
show in March. What night in march, you ask? I'd cosmically Save The
Day somewhere but my Third Eye's Blind. Also Brother gave me password to
Shudder-- the Horror Movie/Show Streaming Service! Which I always assumed
was called Shutter for some reason. Sounds the same. And in
my mind it was like hey ghouls and goblins out there, shut the shutters-- the
House Shutters. Or window shutters. SOMETHING WITH SHUTTERS I'M
SURE OF IT! Thinking about re-binge watching Boardwalk Empire.
This would be either the 3rd or 4th time around that there boardwalk.
So far the grand total of what I've watched on Brrrr
Shuddering is Creepshow II (which I watched somewhere, I dunno, as recently
at 3 months ago?) and 1/5th into The Peeples Under The Stairs (which I
probably last saw about a year ago. Good movies! Nothin' new!
But anyway now I have a lot to do over the next few months or so. Watch
some Crap! Anyway. Paid the Laundromat Peeple some money earlier
today, but the Laundromat Lady dropped a 5 dollar bill and didn't see it, so I
picked it up and re-handed it to her. At least I hope she didn't see it.
And was just getting ready to start the process of kneeling down to pick it up.
And then saw me pick it up the implication like Fuck you MY Money Now lol get
back to doing quality laundry for people.
Last paragraph! Cool. Sometimes my heart
hurts the last few days. Dunno what it is. I can tell you it often
corresponds with taking in some alcohol. I can also tell you I did not
tell that detail to my parents when I told them about this. They'd
probably run off to the fantastical ridiculous theory that the two things might
be related!!! Will Smith said it best, Parents Just Don't
Understand. Thinking about seeing Jumanji this weekend because
hey who doesn't like a good Jumanji Some peeple, that's my guess, but
I don't want anything to do with them! The good news I was forced to have
a very late lunch on account of Laundromaut Dealings and I feel great to know
Dinner is already in like 3-4 hours! Maybe when I'm dazing out for dinner
it'll help me eat taking a nap. That's my theory. See ya
December 11, 2019
He's Making His List,
He's Checking It Twice... He's being diagnosed with OCD... ...IS NICE
A little Christmas humor to get through the day. Does it need to be at
least 3 times to OCD-qualify? No I think twice, once right after the
other, should do it, right? I'm no doctor but I hope to have a Doctor's
Medical Knowledge one day through trial and error. Or perhaps through some
sort of vision. Hey, or maybe just engage some Doctor in conversation--
there's a lot of ways going about this. Hmm what more Santa jokes can I make?
There's plenty out there! Not right now, though. Gonna take a
walk after this paragraph, come back, write some more, eat lunch, take another
walk hopefully, and then Hey The Day Wasn't Completely Wasted even if that
fact is lost on my parents and/or doctors and/or therapists. I DID
A WEBSITE getoffmybackaboudit.
The good news is I just did a walk bu the bad news is
great keep me updated on how often you walk throughout the day every day ad
indefinite Hey Odd Infant Item is that anything? Like a realy
kitsch out-there brand of diapers. That could be a thing if you feel like
it. Anyway. I got 2nd half of Chili + steamed rice for lunch in a
little bit. Well, that's a really pessimistic way of looking at it.
Maybe last night I had the 2nd half and today I've left over the 1st half
for myself. It could happen! Anyway. I don't think I really
realize how much gender expectations and dietary preferences work in tandem.
Probably throughout society too, but I can only speak for myself.
Chili? That's a man thing. Salmon nope let the
ladies have that one.... I had to think hard to come up with , "Salmon,"
and it still isn't that accurate. The point is more Spicy stuff is Men
and Women don't like it at all so we can see that dynamic in work just in spicy
food in and of itself.
Alright! These women and their salmon. Man
am I tired of that stereotype! YOGURT. Finally, that's a for
real one. Real Men don't eat yogurt. OH AND Certain Juices like V8.
No man is gonna go gimme some vegetable juice I CAN TAKE IT. So,
there is this recurring theme of I CAN TAKE IT that both men and women go
through, but its not the same thing. I honestly can't even conjure up
anything I'd rather drink less than V8. I'd drink a dogs piss beforehand.
Not an exaggeration! In fact, kinda sounds like a good idea even twithout
the V8 qualification I gotta put that on my supermarket list which I will check
twice because hey Santas my role model okay gotta copy him hardcore.
Anyway, gonna take a break after this paragraph. Watch Penultimate episode
of The Duece (in the final season? it seems like Maybe but I guess
watching the next 2 episodes will help me figure that out. Then get lunch
ready and reconvene hear in and hour, an hour and a half. SEE YA SOON!
Move Over Title-- Here
Comes The Entry!
Anyway. Taking my food out of Microwave, my Dad was putting on his pants
slowly. I was like you need help with that? And he was like
nope I got it! Spoiler Alert-- My Dad Can Put His Pants on Himself.
I'd like to meet the guy who can't put his pants on 1 step at a time.
Because the phrase is saying one leg at a time llike this is the best we
can do, one leg at a time. BULLSHIT I WANNA MEET THE X-MAN WHO CAN
PUT ON HIS PANTS BOTH LEGS AT THE SAME TIME!! I KNOW HE'S OUT THERE REVEAL
YOURSELF STEP INTO THE LIGHT THE LIGHT. I dunno what else is going on.
The good news I've been drinking with no Heart Pain but I took a walk earlier
and there was some momentary heart pain. That's good news?
Well, close enough I suppose! Only 1 episode of The Deuce left!
Hopefully by the time the episode is over I'm SURE how to spell Deuce and
not say Duece. One can dream, right?
Right! Fifth paragraph! Maybe this'll be it,
maybe not! I do have a lot of lying in bed DJing Myself lined up for the
rest of the day. I'll get there in time, don'tchu wurry. Sometimes I
try to think back fondly on my times as a Freshman in NYU and the main sense
memory I can come up with is going to the very mediocre pizza place right by my
friends dorm after we have been drinking/smoking all night so we go there to eat
some real mediocre pizza. That and playing Super Smash Brothers
with my Bros. I always would be Maro Mario never loses he runs this
Nintend shit of course he's the best. I also have a vague memory of
drinkign. Seems abut right. Also, the primary way we consumed
marijuana was through alcohol bottles or something. I believe theres a
name for that but I dunno it so who cares id I don't know it why should anyone
else? Also, I met a friend who was really into Blockbuster Videos and I
felt in light of that we shared some familial bond so I ended up rooming with
him in Sophomore year and I quickly discovered oh it turns out Likin
BlockbusterVideo isn't a great indication of what kind of person a guy is.
However he did give me the greatest birthday present of
all time which was Crazysheet.com (2004-2007) in book form in completion.
I had a dream a couple of weeks ago someone did that same thing with
crazysheet.net (2012-2019) and I was like THE BITCH IS BACK I heard that in a
movie or something or a thing aout a movie its safe to say Eltion John's live
was just about the movie that would eventually be made about him, right?
Anyway, jeez what else is going on. I'd like to finance a study over
whether people prefer happy or sad endings in Horror Movies. I feel like
it culd easily go either way. Between 40-60% chance for either.
Now teach me how to finaince a study cause I don't really know. Am I
the only one who gets chili and is like well there's beans in this beans are
healthy I'm eating health food. My guess? Probably not!
Probably a dozen or two people have knowingly come to that conclusion over space
I dunno. Because I'm illness, when I DJ songs for
myself 3 hours a day, it's like I'm DJing for everybody! These ppl in
my head and these ppl eavsdropping on my phone are gonna LOVE this mixtape as
it creates itself over time. I figure that's a good lesson
to be learned about how schitzophrenia helps you create art. Hey I'm
used to performing and creating 2 a crowd that isn't there... good practice fo
when there really is a crowd there! I also like it because I'm
more wise at the end of the day than where I started. All these songs in
this order in this Mode of My Choosing are like hey I figured out some stuff
about myself today, and where I'm at, and where the world is at!
Wonderful a few more paragraphs to go.
I dunno. I haven't binge watched Tales From The Crypt
in roughly 2 weeks. Time I start up again? God only knows. Dinner
today is 1 slice mixed with 1/2 Chicken Penne Vodka which I got as a Hot Meal
from Supermarket. I'm not sure how to feel about Punk Baby. On the
one hand, it's a solid 3 out of 10 music-wise, and also, a 8 out of 10 in terms
of reflecting My Whole Deal at the time. But also it tinges everything
else I've done. Hey I liked the Uppers but with Punk Baby now I see beneath
the curtains and NOW I HATE MICHAEL. That was to be read as ME.
Cool. I think I'm gonna try to get in the habit of having 1 slice of
pizza for breakfast. Seems like a best case scenario for pretty much
evreyone involved even the pizza hell especially the pizza.
Anyway, 9th paragraph, that might be the end. 9 isn't
anything close to a good round number but for some reason in this context it
feels okay. I have recurring dreams where I'm smoking cigarettes and I'm
like well that sucks and then I wake up and am like whew Great!.
But also, I have dreams where I'm smoking cigarettes nad I'm like whew this
is great! But then wake up and am like can't Actually have any
cigarettes... well that sucks. I might go see Jumanji on my own on my
birthday because I'm trying to hit the trifecta of being Weird As Fuck. I
dunno entrys almost over. SAVE ME OASIS. No way Oasis was
yesterday. Today's Special Band? -- hmm this is a tough one.
THE KILLERS! Fourth band that came to my mind and first band where I
wsa like Hey That Sounds Like Fun. Anyway, I'll see ya
December 10, 2019
Everyone Likes It When
That's the message I've recived from Life. Also-- Life-- stop sending
me messages! I have like 30 voice mails from Life over the past 24
hours and I'm considering going to the police!. Anyway, 2nd half of
MacDonalds for lunch today. Then DJ Session 3 MyLonely, and eat some
dinner! Also good name for when Jeff Session rebrands himself as a
no-holds-barred Hip Hop Artist. DJ Sessions. Not sure what
the joke was there. The joke is Shut Up and Get Used To Shutting Up
I WILL FILE A RESTRAINING ORDER IF IT COMES TO IT. Anyway, went to
Supermarket this morning! Chores for one week down, another six days of
nothing to go! I was taking a moderately sized Gulp of Vodka + Soda,
and suddenly My Heart starting hurting hard core. I was like wait this
ain't good... better take anohter moderately sized gulp to see if its the Mixed
Drink that did it through trial and error.
Everyone likes it when things happen. True story
presumably! Maybe another 5 paragraph entry or something, just some
Entribits. That's the title I came up for little entries. Entribits.
Prove me wrong. Is it just me, or does fast food restaurant heavily
marketing their Impossible burgers kinda seem like when the government
went to Cigarette Companies to create the DDon't Smoke adadds. I
mean, sure they're making some nominal amount of money on their Impossible
burgers, but I'm sure its better in their interest overall that we all stick to
meat. So the point is IT'S A RIGGED GAME RUN OUT OF THE WAY EVERYONE.
Is that a real thing? Tobacco Companies making the Don't Smoke
adds? I feel like I heard it somewhere and if that somewhere is
anything like Donald Trump's somewhere it's no reliable at all! Is
it possible Donald Trump is a full blown schizophrenic and when he says
People are telling me... he's not just being colloquial to sell what he
knows is li, and there's actually voices in hish ead telling him that.
I dunno, maybe you do.
One thing I'm getting into is having those healthy, small
portioned TV dinners for breakfast. Check it out its some pastsa and
the Swedish version of Meatballs! All for 300 calories. WHATTA
BREAKFAST! I remember when I was a kid I thought of White Castle in
terms of oh they're the restaurant with the crazy-mini hamburgers!
But, I mean, McDonalds & The Rest, their basic hamburger isn't really that much
bigger! Whatta jip is the point! Whatta jip. I
dunno, I never heard the word in any other context. Supermarket was
moderately crowded today. Hey check it out women in their 30's I can
pick goods and produce from a shelf want my number TOO BAD I'M CAREFUL
ABOUT THAT I DON'T NEED PHONE SPAM c'mon! Here's the sum
total of The New Monkees progress I've made since February-- the bass player
always pronounces the word bass like in Sea Bass. Or someone
else in the show does. The point is that's a laugh and a half.
Hey, hey what can I do. I got good news I think I might
get Chili for dinner with a sidze of Rice and making that going into my
mouthhole and I swallow it down my gullet and it ends up in some sort of pouch
in my stomachtorso. I remember when I was a kid Kangaroos were really cool
cause hey they got built in pouches. ALSO hey they can jump
really high I don't believe it. ALSO hey if they kick you hard
you're going down. ALSO hah the word Kangaroo is funny I ain't
fooling pronounce it out loud to yourself Lmao. Anyway, I think
everyone would be a lot happier if they replaces Tobacco with Tabasco. I'd
like a Tabasco cigarette because it share the same cultural impact of smoking--
in that, Both make you Feel More Cool-- but a fraction of how deadly!
Maybe it'll hurt your heart for 10 seconds as you adjust but then get right back
on that horse!
Cool. One more paragraph! Looks like there's some
impeachment brewing!!! I'm excited about it because its like Hey maybe the
rule of law matters at least just a little bit... you know, around 30-50% to its
capacity? BETTER THAN NOTHIN' Sitcom of a Vietnamese American
dad with a family called The Rule of Lau. I dunno why I guessed
Lau is Vietnamese. Call it a hunch! 2nd guess would be Chinese.
Definitely not Japanese. I guess Korean is possible. That about
narrows it down more or less. Probably not gonna take an extra walk
today on account of Been There Done That. Anyway. Gonna watch
the last 2 The Duece over the rest of the day, as well as the last half of Some
Wes Craven Movie Centered Around Teenagers Hey Those ARe Good How Have I Never
Heard Of This Yet?? Anyway, that'll do it for now. See ya later!
December 9, 2019
At This Point, Getting
My Order Right Would Be Wrong.
The point is from now on I should make one blatant error in my order--
something obvious that I don't want-- and just hope the way they Fuck It Up is
that one thing I fucked with completely! Also, dealing with DoorDash &/or
McDonalds. Problem was they didn't give me 1 of my Triple Cheeseburgers
sans thing even change PLEASE NO CHEESE HOW CAN I DRIVE THIS POINT HOME
ANYMORE. Figure I'll make some Frozen Hot Dogs (But convince them
through physics and chemistry to not be frozen any more) for 1 of 3 lunches I
had planned! Anyway. Saw Doctor today. They happened to take
my weight and I was pretty happy with it! Right around the upper end of
Healthy BMI-- maybe 2-5 pounds higher. That means Now I Can Stop Without
My Body Being A Dick About It And Making Me Die Or At Least Develop Dying
I think Wendy's and Burger King is losing A LOT of money not
having Nutrition Calculator on their website. It's not enough to say a
double cheese burger is However Many Calories-- I don't eat cheese nor the other
toppings WHAT KIND OF AN IDIOT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR IF I CAN'T ESTIMATE CALORIES
I'M GONNA PLAY IT SAFE AND GO WITH THE BURGER RESTAURANT THAT ALLOWS ME TO.
Anyway. Dave Thomas' daughter was Wnedy. the restaurant is hers.
Wendy's. What if Dave Thomas just kept a stable of prostitutes all
named Wendy. Then the restaurant would presumably be called
Wendies. Makes sense to me! Anyway. Went into this entry
only planning for 5 paragraphs. Cause I need something to help me through
the hopeless haze of Afternoon. I think McDonalds was the first place I
ever really started trying Cheese on Burgers. Around 2008 they had some
Promotion Sandwich where it was like MUSHHROOM AND THE SWISS VERSION OF CHEESE
ANgUS BURger OR SOMEthiNg. And I was on board with the whole
concept of Special Big Burger Swiss cheese hey it might be good.
And that's why, to this day, I consider Swiss Cheese as The Fancier of Cheeses.
Hey they were the main selling point for this McDonalds Sandwich must be top
Cool! Also they had some Southern Style Chicken
Sandwich which is like vaguely spicy and Southern in the respect that they
put a pickle slice in the middle and viola Southern. Anyway.
When I was a kid, I always thought Swiss Cheese was the cheese with columns and
rows of circle-holes in the middle. I guess I was just a really stupid
kid, I dunno! What else is crappening. I'm too susceptible to watch
these impeachment hearings. I turn it on, there's a Republican talking
nonsense, I'm like well this is gonna work on idiots whatta jip. I
turn it back in half an hour later, there's a Democrat speaking Sense, and I'm
like man they're making their case really well and simply Everyone's gonna be
on board with this! The point is Whatever The Last Thing I Saw On The
Television is more or less how I feel permanently in life until the next
Cool! Fourth paragraph. I think its great to
have Gender Equity Across Sandwich Shops-- people 50 years ago reacting to
Wendy's. Maybe something else is going on in my BrainSpace that I can
talk about for 2 paragraphs. Right now, not really liking my chances!
Cool! Hey I had a 1 or 2 line joke I thought of a week ago then
re-thought of 2 or 3 times over the week but currently can't recall!
Whatta jip. Maybe just end it at this paragraph. Gotta do something
and right now that something I gotta do feels like lying in best and DJing music
for myself and no one else. Really just going hey I'll get a kick out
of this and then picking a new song from a different artist. It's
fun! Might as well write one more paragraph for some reason no one is
really sure about.
Cool! Anyway. In Logan's Run, do they kill you
before you turn 30? Or is it like okay once you turn 30 we're gonna
kill you... while you're thirty... so you have until right before you
turn 31 when we're gonna kill you. Because in that second scenario I
still have 2 or 3 days to live! And in the first scenario Hey I'm Still
Alive Now Somehow Hey How 'Bout That! You know what's a good band to
play for yourself? Oasis. I crunched the numbers somehow and
did a lot of field work and practice testing and that's what I came up with!
Anyway, what in the world is going on. Done! That's what's going on!
Or, at least, What was going on. Now the ephemeral state of
being done is being done more or less. See ya later!
December 6, 2019
Now? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME
That's what the guy said in the alternate version of The Godfather where
they put a baby goat's head in Said Guy's bed. A lot of Horses going on
today with me so far. The Who's Who has a title called Danny and my
Ponies. ALSO- THE WHO'S [band] WHO [album] I pray to god such
a thing was intended. It's a really Who's Who of The Who.
Anyway, and then I was just watching The Ring: The Horror Movie, and some horses
show up in that, too. Most memorably a horse jumps off a boat to commit
suicide. What it was doing on the boat in the first place is beyond me.
Also, that sequence seemed so odd and so random and irrelevant to the plot,
Combined With I don't explicitly remember that scene previous times I've seen
this movie, OF COURSE my first reaction was OH NO A THE RING IS
HAPPENING TO ME how else you explain this Horse On a Boat Jumping Off The Boat.
I mean, what, the horse was depressed? I dunno.
Now that I think about it, isn't it kind of odd that most
non-human albums rarely commit suicide? Unless it's specifically for the
survival of its species one way or another. You gotta be capable of
ideation to have suicidal ideation. And you gotta have suicide ideation
before you commit suicide. I've worked out several graphs to explain
this reasoning, if you'll turn to page 22.... Anyway, got lunch to
start in about 15, 20 minutes. We're talkin' half a Chicken Cutlet on Pita
Bread plus some Waffle Fry Pieces Actually Bordering On Crumbs, and some random
Pork Fried Rice from some other time presumably. I guess that's one way
animals kill themselves. Like i those studies of mice where they feed
the sweeter but deadlier thing to some mice and they keep going for the drug
even though it kills them eventually. That's Just Logic Though.
I'm not capable of deeper thought and you're giving me Some Sweet, Hell Yeah I'm
gonna keep consuming it I'D BE AN IDIOT NOT TO.
I've always wondered about the band name Modest Mouse.
To be honest, they don't sound all that modest to me. I mean,
lyrics are pretty modest. Sometimes. It can go either way.
Same with the guitar riffs. and the guys voice? Sure Reeks of Confidence
In His Own Deal to me! Also, Modest Mouse. Kinda an oxymoron.
Most mice are pretty modest, right? They'd have to be! Small and
inconsequential and nobody cares about them enough to lobby scientists to not
experiment on them. Why, it's almost enough to make you wanna kill
yourself by Consuming Some Sweet over and over again LIFE AS A MOUSE ISN'T WORTH
LIVING UNLESS ITS TO KILL YOURSELF TO PLEASE SOME SCIENTIST. I dunno
what's going on, but the point is, lunch in 10 minutes o so. I like
that! Gimme some Sweet! I'll stop after a relatively appropriate
time, I swear it! gonna take a 10 minute break. Be back W/ Lunch!
Back with lunch! Don't drink the punch. I
'm super glad that we're all still in touch. To the tune of AC/DC
dummies. I like breaded chicken breast. Its all the joy of Fried
Chicken without the stigma of Fried Chicken. Health Stigma. Not
racial stereotype stigma. Get Your Mind Out Of The Gutter you fools.
I've always found Onion Rings kind of retarded. It's basically juse
here's some deep fried breading in a circle... there my be a tiny onion in there
for good measure, too. I mean, is the onion literally only there to
help the cook make a circle? Cause it's a complete after thought when
consuming it! The point is I never actually took that break to get
lunch and I still have anohter 5 or 10 minutes after this paragraph!
So, yeah, great! The Who's Who of December 2019.
I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THIS STUFF. Anyway. Figure I'll go get
lunch in... 5 minutes. Countin' down the Hours Or Days or Months NOPE
MINUTES that's right. Sometimes its hard for me to get into music,
particularly bands I haven't grown up with,, because ts like, Hey this isn't
My Music! What's the point! I have nothing at stake listening to someone
else crap! I can't relate to anything That Isn't Me. Also, a
different genre of music? WHATTA JIP. But theen
there's a Who's Who and it made me believe in magic again. Well, to
some extent, I guess. My favorite part is that it's a step above
adequate, even within the context of The Who's Music. That they can take a
15 year break and be roughly 140 years old each and still make great music?
It's wonderful! FINALY TIME TO GET LUNCH.
finally, lunch! I've figured out 2 Upside Down Things the last few days.
One-- if you're making a sandwich with pita bread-- where its the filling and
only enough pita bread for either on top of the filling or on bottom-- first
instinct is to have the pita bread on bottom, right? WRONG it tastes
better on top. You just gotta hope you have a filling that you can hold on
to structurally. Like I do! Therefore because it happened to me once
it's universal. Also, 2nd upside down thing-- I had gone through a period
of months where I would keep track of calories. And over the day the
number will build up. 300 calories for breakfast, then 650 for lunch...
notes say I'm at 950 calories, maybe wanna aim for 2200 or something, right?
THAT'S NO GOOD HEADSPACE. Now? Start OFF AT 2200 Calories.
Breakfast is 300. UHOH DOWN TO ONLY 1900 CALORIES OVER THE REST OF THE
DAY GOTTA MAKE 'EM COUNT.
Hey, seventh paragraph. The good news is Fuck
This Fried Rice I don't need it. The point is I came up with a wonderful
chord progression for either a Verse or a Chorus. It does D G Em A.
One of the best songs I ever made was called Gem and the chord
progression was G Em. I forget the lyrics. Something along
the lines of You're a gem, that sounds like me. So it wasn't that
great a song probably I don't remember but a pretty good title if you ask me!
I like The Ring because they rip of many movies at once. Obviously the
Japanese version of The Ring. But also The Sixth Sense. One of the
supporting characters in The Ring is a 9 year old kid who speaks real real
softly and has some sort of power to see/talk to ghosts. And don't forget
the speaking softly part! It's key to the whole comparison.
Eighth paragraph. Figure I'm done after this one.
It did seem kind of egregious when the official sequel to The Ring, Rings,
their soundtrack for the closing credits was Beyonce If You Want It Put a
Ring On It Or Something Not 100% Committed To Memory. I've been
drinking significantly more the last week or two. I blame you because I
choose not to hold myself accountable for pretty much anything! Must be
you at fault! I like Pork Fried Rice because obviously we all get excited
when we get a little tiny pellet of roast pork in our forkful and its all we can
think about eating the rice. Then we eat it and its like well, lets be
realistic, I can't taste it at all. It's a needle in the haystack of rice.
But then as soon as that biteful is done, we go back to looking for that elusive
pebble of roast pork. It's insanity! But I still do it BECAUSE I
FEEL LIKE IT. See ya later.
December 5, 2019
Which M*CHAEL KORNBL*M
Character Are You?
Well that's a tough one. The good ones? Anyway, what
else. I figure if I ever had fans I'd affectionately call them Crazy
Sheeters. But it depends on what they're fans of. If they're a
fan of Punk Baby they're Punk Babies and The Uppers THe... Uppers...
the point is some titles for fans of other titles mostly rely heavily on common
sense. Also, I hate Successful Artists' Pet Names for their
fans. It rubs me off all the wrong ways. It's sort of a
master/subservient relationship. It's right there in the phrase Pet
Names. The key word is Pet. No way, not for me! My
fans are human beings and I intend to refer to them as an inhuman group in a
SelfEsteemAffirming Way! I feel very strongly about this. No i
don't. yeah but I had you goin' for a while didn't I.
No you didn't. But, hey, anyway, lunch is on
its way from China Restaurant to Jew Domicile. Sometimes I listen to
Its a Small World on my phone and I realize I'm so desperate for Disney
Vacation that I'm willing to get my kicks from an Epcot Center-themed sound
track. What the hell is wrong with me? I Know. It all leads
back to when ITS A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL AND DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU
DIFFERENT AND JUST TO DRIVE THE POINT HOME REPEAT THE PHRASE 2 BILLION TIMES
IN YOUR HEAD AND/OR OUT LOUD the choice is yours there's some flexibility
involved in this I'm not some sort of Boss Monster. I recently figured
out a great LifeHack where if you're getting Delivery to split between 2 meals
Fuck That You Don't Need To Split Accompanying Soup in 2 meals that's a hassle
and a half no just GET A SPARE EXTRA SOUP that'll solve 70% of your LifeProblems
Recently re-watched the newest Halloween after seeing it in
Theaters last year I think it was. It was really confusing! They
kept referring to some guy named Michael but I'm pretty sure it wasn't me
because I have no idea who those character those actors were playing are and to
be honest I'm not 100% sure they exist in RealLife at all! Started
re-watching Jersey Girl. On the one hand, George Carlin. On the
other hand, Hmm wonder what George Carlin is doing RIGHT THIS MINUTE WHEREVER
HE IS COSMICALLY. I mean, I'd say 1/2 of us at least believe in an
after life. That means 1/2 of us at least can accurately ponder hey
wonder what George Carlin is doin' in AfterLife. Making cracks about
things? We can all only hope so.
Well, we could also do other things.
Like NOT hope so. I'm not here to take away your choices in life!
Anyway. In Dogma George Carlin played some guy who was gonna
inadvertently end the world, right? I haven't seen that movie in a decade
and a half but something along those lines may be relatively correct as far as I
know. I like Kevin Smiths movies because for a year or two they're Really
Cool to be into and then for a decade or two they're Really Uncool to be into
and then for the rest of time I dunno I haven't been alive long enough to be in
The Rest Of Time so I refuse to claim I know any more than you do on the
subject. Anyway. Some nights when I go to sleep, and I listen to
music for at least an hour or two, I just go completely Kingpin Themed.
Just the 10 or 12 songs featured in that movie. Well, I guess that
doesn't take more than hour. But a sizable chunk a few times a month
is Kingpin themed! Prove me wrong.
I saw John Kerry endorsed Joe Biden. That should win
him some votes with millenials and African Americans and Swiftboat Captains For
Truth (ok that was a low blow because it implies maybe they had some legitimate
grievances with him but Nope that's where the termd SwiftBoated came from not
like Taylor Swift lost at sea like some kids might assume. Kinda means
like Screwed Over Illegimately or something. Anyway, the last 6 or
12 months, I've comfortably settled into the reality of Hot And Sour Soup is The
Best Soup but it means I can never get Egg Drop Soup because why
settle, why not just go for the best? But getting TWO soups? I
got 1 Egg Drop and I'm Having it Now. One day I hope to find out what
makes Egg Drop soup. Do they have water and then drop an egg into it?
Seems like the most likely assumption to be made by some guy like me who is
maybe 70% good at assumptions and whatnot.
I like taking gulps of soup. Pick up that sucker
with both hands and glug some soup down your mouth gullet. Only proem is,
I just did it, and it burnt me InsideMouth. So I had to quickly eat some
luke warm Pork Fried Rice to help put the fire out! Another way Extra Soup
really pays off is it helps me get over the barrier where I'm ordering enough
for them to deliver it. I was at 8 dollars or so without it, I need 10
dollars! Normally I'd get some appetizer which tastes great but is Crap
Nutritionally. Now I get an extra soup and it's Great News For EVerybody!
Hey, guess whose birthday it is in exactly 1 week!?! A BUNCH OF OTHER
PEOPLE BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY ME! 31 years old.
Technically, that means I'm in my mid 30's. Yet I act like I'm in my late
teens or so roughly. Hey maybe I'll get Benjamin Button Disease let's
wait to see how this plays out.
Anyway that should do it for now. 1 more paragraph
shuold just about do it. Anyway, joke I'm proud of that I wasted on
Twitter but then decided to add here who cares-- I worry about the self
esteem of kids in the generation coming after Generation Alpha.
However, it would be a PERFECT time for Beto O Rourke to become president!
Anyway. Finally started watching Season 3 of The Deuce, but only got 20
minutes into the first episode. Anyway, that reminds me of something I've
Always Been Thinking. There's a line in a Sublime song where Bradley
Nowell is like Much gusto, me llamo Bradley, I'm hornier than Ron Jeremy.
I can't imagine there's a person on the planet who isn't hornier than Ron
Jermey. Dude has sex all the time he's gotta be bored of it completely!
I'm glad I lived in a place and time where it was either cool to listen to
Sublime or no one talked about it keep it on the down low that sorta stuff.
Hey! That should do it for now. See you Folks at some other time.
December 2, 2019
You Give What You Get
Well, that sounds a lot better than Getting What You Give. Who knows
if that's gonna pay off in the long run! You're putting a lot of faith in
the universe and/or other people to give back what you gave. You don't
know if they're gonna reciprocate at all! No, better to wait till you get
something, so you know for sure you can give what you got without worrying you
won't get what you give. Also, The New Radicals? I know
their most popular song and I can safely say I Don't Find Them Radical At All.
Not even new, at this point. HEY WE'RE THE NEW RADICALS WHAT'S
NEW ABOUT US? IT'S THAT WE'RE NOT THAT RADICAL SO THAT'S AN INTERESTING AND NEW
WAY TO USE THE WORD RADICAL. Ya got me there.
Hey! Saw my therapist today. She was all like
Hey and I was like Wass Goin' On and she was like Yeah What Else
and I was like Check This Out! and she was like cool cool and I
was like well see ya next month! I like having a therapist and
psychiatrist. The main difference is psychiatrist can write prescriptions,
while a run-of-the-mill therapist can't. But why do I need the therapist
at all, then? Exact same stuff covered for each session. I'm
gonna write an angry letter to someone as soon as I figure out who to write it
to and Why. Anyway having a Cinnamon Raisin Bagel with cream cheese
and I'm a little upset how sweet the bagel is. I mean, obviously,
cinnamon and cream cheese, you expect some very very light sweetness.
But this is crazy! It's like I'm actually eating bread thats cinnamon
flavored and has lots of raisins.
The point is I can't wait until my next walk so I can buy a
bottle of alcohol with rouglhy 30-40 quarters to augment the 10 dollar bill I
have! There was a period in my life where I ONLY used quarters for
alcohol. But that was just to buy those Single Serving Mini Bottles like
you'd find in some sort of refrigerator in some sort of hotel room in some sort
of vacation retreat On Earth. Oh well ya live and learn. AnyAnyway,
I watched The Irishman, and I wanted to like it, and I did to some extent, but I
just kept thinking about the negative implications of this technology that made
the actrs look younger. Seems like that technology could be used for evil!
Not necessarily making people look younger, just in general. SCARY STUFF.
Cool. My birthday is in a week and a half! I
almost said that to my Dad while he was driving me to Therapist. And then
I realized What The Hell I'm Supposed To Randomly Bring Up My Birthday That's
In 10 Days Like a Child? HEY FATHER REMEMBER ME BIRTHDAY TIME I
WANT ADORATION AND GIFTS. And the truth is II'm not gonna get either.
If they wanna give me a present they can start by giving me the present they
promised me in 2017 and have since done nothing. Also, adoration?
They like me well enough I guess but they're probably like I'm not 100% on
board with this kids deal in that he's a little off and also is a terrible
burden on us GET HIM OUT OF HERE IMMEDIATELY! Good news I got a good
healthy nutritious dinner for tonight. Half a portion of Baked Chicken.
A Sweet Potato. Some Broccoli. Matzo Ball Soup! I'd like to
see you TRY to mess up my day, knowing I have that to look forward to!
GO AHEAD TRY I WANNA SEE.
Cool! Fifth paragraph. Figure I'll take a
break after this one, write another 5 paragraphs in an hour or two, see how that
goes. Anyway. Maybe have worn my glasses 2 times in the last 2
weeks. I was going into The Whole Deal trying to wear contacts 2 times a
week. I did a complete 360 Degrees Minus 100 Degrees Minus another 80
Degrees. Hey I know you went to college how many degrees do you have.
Just One. That's pretty good Still Almost A Straight Line I LIKE
THAT. Anyway. I guess I can finally start Season 3 of The
Deuce: Part III Season III. I guess I can see myself finally doing that
now. So, see ya in a bit!