October 31, 2019
Well, Let's Be Honest.
October Was no August. Almost As Bad As April! Slightly Better Than
What makes me think that's an
interesting title. NOTHIN', THAT'S WHO. Got a flu shot today.
Tne end of Space Jam where Michael Jordan's arm stretches out a lot and he does
a slam dunk from half court (that's a thing, right?)... anyway, Flew Shot.
Because he was sort of flying and also it was a shot! That's a basketball
thing, right? Hey take your shot. I'm 90% sure that throwing
a basketball into the basketball net can appropriately be called a shot,
and I'm about 40-60% sure that they call the middle of the court half court.
Anyway. I'm up to the Story Arc of Meadow being in Columbia (IN THE
SOPRANOS) and it made me think, maybe I was kind of an unintentional asshole
when I was in NYU because, sure, I was as excited about living in the city as
everyone else. But I had just spent 4 years going into the city every day.
So maybe I inadvertently extrapolated that and gave off some uncool vibes.
But THE GOOD NEWS IS I just got crab cakes.
If I was a lobster I'd be pinching people all over the place.
If you're a lobster, that's really your time to shine. Pinchin' people and
whatnot. Good idea for a Halloween Costume. Is it an incel
thing (Culture Reference!) where they're like hmm I'm gonna go as Dennis The
Menace for Halloween (wtf that's the first thing that came off the top of
my head? WTF is going on in my brain?) but I have no friends and know of
nowhere to go so I'M JUST GONNA SIT AT THE COMPUTER ALL DAY AND NIGHT! In
My Dennis The Menace Costume. Sure no one else is in on the fun with me
but I'M HAVING FUN BEING DENNIS THE MENACE. A lot to unpack in
this paragraph. A lot. To. Unpack.
I've noticed on twitter Youth People sometimes
add Periods between sentences/phrases which I think it meant to imply to read it
as if you're taking a breath or something. Either that or The Youth People
are just adding extra periods for no good reason. But, yeah i think
this is great! Real good introduction of verbal communication now to
be used in Online Chatting. I dunno who I'm supposed to be anymore.
The Uppers? Crazysheet? Punk Baby? A fourth thing?
Hmm, I have a good idea for A Fourth Thing! ...MICHA*L KO*NBLUM.
Either that or maybe just always be MICH*E* **RNBLU*... LIKE A
CHUMP. Jeez. I'm a little bummed about the Nationals winning.
I bet All of America is. We've spent all of recent memory HATING
Washington DC (Because Of Our Political Enemies!) so why should we want
Washington to win. Well, what about the ~50% of Washington that is on
your side!) Yeah but when it comes to politics The Glass Is Always
Half Empty. Indefinitely and eternally.
Anyway. Anyway. In the sequel to Unbreakable, but
prequel to Split and Glass, there was a scene where they were putting Mr. Glass
into the hospital and for some reason they also referred to him as Glass, and
one guy was like to the other guy why we puttin' him in here? And
the 2nd guy is like lets just say The Glass Is Half Empty. Because
his mind is only halfway there. Kinda sick person, mentally and
everything! Hmm. Great. One of my favorite parts of
watching The Sopranos is that roughly 3 out of 4 main characters are definitely
overweight, but nowhere near as obese as some other characters-- so they look
really thin even if the got a pot belly and whatnot. It's Amazing.
Hey my belly is even LESS than Uncle Jun's and he looks thin as a clam!
So that's one positive thing you can get out of The Sopranos. Cool!
Also kind of de-stigmatized seeing a therapist/going on meds. Presumably.
I was seeing my first therapist taking my first med right around when the show
started. I saw it on tv and I was like I GOTTA DO THAT ALRIGHT YEAH
BOY!!! No, just kidding it. I just needed it. Cause of
How far we've come. I Am Now No Longer Depressed. BUNCH
OF EVEN WORSE THINGS NOW but no longer depression! Also I was
using the ROYAL WE I don't go no multiple personality disorders c'mon what kinda
chump do you think I am. Also, I I hate the Astros cause ASTRONAUTS
PISS ME THE FUCK OFF! Well, there's the ~50% of astronauts
you like, and the 50% you can't stand! That's just how you're supposed to
feel about any community there is in the world! Hey what if 50% of astronauts
REALLY ARE ASSHOLES. I know, I agree with you! They're probably
ALL assholes! Well, great, what else do I got going on. Good
name for an improv team made up of utility men for the Astros-- The Astro
Nuts. Bow down before my genius! Too reminiscent of Slipnuts
from Conan from 15 years ago. Well, if we're not gonna let me say or
do anything that wasn't in some way, one way or another, influenced by Conan o'
Brian from the early to mid 2000's, then I'm gonna be out of stuff to do or say
Gonna take a break! I wrote 5 paragraphs to deserve it and everything!
Somehow The Title Is This
Took a break, now it's time to eat
some lunch! I got that going for me! Anway. Just hooked
myself up a Plate Of Lunch and took it up to My Room to eat while writing This
entry, but I gotta leave my door open and be alert so I can be ready to rush
down the stairs to give some fuckheads their sugar. And the worst part is
(Well, maybe not the worst part. But one XTRA negative thing is...) over
the last 5 years, we might have had 4 total trick or treaters. I feel like
we probably had around 2 for 1 year, and then 1 for 2years. AnBut I gotta
be On Guard like an asshole. Like I don't get anything better to do than
have my bell rang so I could rush to give some little jerk some chocolate!
Doesn't seeem fair. Not one bit.
The good news is I started a New Routine when eating food up
in the oven. I put it in an Oven Safe Dish, or maybe just on top of
aluminum foil, but NOW, I fuckin' cover THE WHOLE THING with aluminium foil.
Makes it get heated more evenly! And it takes longer! The longer it takes
to wait for meals, the less I eat! I can't be eating while I'm waiting to
eat! That's some sort of logic blackhole. Anyway. Went to a
diner today, So Much Fun! I had to get these crab cakes to pair with Part
II and III of Previously Gotten Dinner. But it was fun, because it took
like 15 minutes for Crab Cake to Cake, and it was pretty busy, so I was like Hey
check out all these people having fun eating lunch with their friends.
That's the life, ain't it?
Trying to get back in the habit of keeping meticulous
track of Calories Consumed. Trying is the wrong word. I Know I
Should, but Every Fiber Of My Being is preventing it from becoming real and
acted upon. Speaking of Acting, over the years, I've fantasized about
becoming a Professional Any-Sort-of-Creative-Type-Person-Under-The-Sun, but I
always thought about acting, Yeah I'm kinda too cool for school with that.
Not even gonna harbor fantasizing about it. Both because its a Pipe Dream
and Who Really Cares. And harboring both the feelings of it's so
stupid ANYONE can do it I Figured You Out TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL. And
Also At The Same Time, man you gotta LOVE being an actor to do it right Gotta
committ 103% takes a special breed! Someone's gotta play Iamb St.
Marks, though, right? Let it be me! The point is I got an appetizer of
Maryland Crab Cakes TO GO and it was $10.35 with tax and I gave a 1 dollar tip!
This dude didn't do a thing except take my order and acknowledge the fact I
would need a bag to leave the restaurant with. I'M A FUCKIN' ALL-STAR
RESTAURANT DINER TIPPER.
II'm really nostalgic when it comes to eating in
restaurants/diners. Both from Doing It Often With Family, and when I was a
bit older, Doing It With Friends. I just love it. Can't be topped.
Hey we're here eating some food or at least WAITING to eat some food lets get to
know each other again for the first time Tell Some Jokes play Some Games really
convince the other diners that We're The Best Group of Friends or Family that
they've ever seen really leave a good impression ON EVERYBODY. Anyway.
Like I was saying/implying, I saw doctor today, and they took my weight, and I
Shut My Eyes for that! What kinda fool you take me for?
Unfortunately, as expected, the Doctor herself made a comment on it.
Hey looks like you gained some weight back-- still not where you were, though!
What's the deal. And I was like STFU!! SPOILERS!! UR SUPPOSED TO
SAY NO SPOILERS WHEN IT COMES TO My WEIGHT!!! Anyway. Watching
The Wire, I noticed 2 things about their consumption habits-- Crab Flavored
Chips, and Strawberry Soda. Characters are getting Strawberry Soda all the
time! I NEVER FUCKIN HEARD OF OR SAW STRABERRY SODA ONCE IN MY LIFETIME.
Why are they selling flavors of soda only in Baltimore? Crabs, I
get. That's what she said. Hah WONDERFUL.
Anyway. 10th paragraph. Figure I'll take a walk
after this one, probably end the entry concurrently. Diner is best place to eat
with friends or family. 2nd best is Pizza Joint. Everything else, I
dunno, its all a distant third. Other innocent people in The Wire-- the
kids! Well, they were born with Eternal Sin, so they're fucked
anyway, but you get the idea! I'm not 100% that's an accurate
reference-thing. I guess that's another Eternal Sin on my permanent
record! Disseminating false information. Hey such is life and
crap, right! I feel like a solid 2/3rds of the Punk Baby songs are worth
listening to. There's a lot more nuanced categories than Listenable
and Not Not Listenable, but essentially 2/rds are more-or-less
No walk yet. What if a trick-or-treater shows up
while I'm not here?!? The trick will be on him! He'll be down 1
MiniTwix Or Something for the entire deal! A fate worse than death!
I was watching some OZ and one guy on death row was like, I wanna die old!
In my sleep! and that's obviously not in the cards for him, but I think
that's a pretty universal thought, right? I dunno, though. For me, I
kinda feel like I'm gonna wanna know that I'm dying. Dying in my sleep--
I'm gonna die without even realizing it!! Whatta jip! I need to have a bit
of time to be like Ah So I'm Dying Now... Hmm, how was life? Not bad?
Okay I've made my peace with the world now! Anyway, jeez. Hey,
yesterday I won $17.50 in a Poker Freeroll! And now, I'm at $1.15!
Great, what else is crap. 12th paragraph! Last
few days I've been havin' some LaterLunches. Like 2:00-3:30 instead of
12:00-1:30. TalkAboutALateLunch #talkaboutalatelunch c'mon guys lets get
this trending. I remember there was a kid who as an asshole in elementary
school but his mom would pack him these pieces of fried chicken for lunch, like
chicken fingers, but pretty well fried, and Man Oh Man was it a thing for people
tryin' to get themselves a piece of the chicken during lunch. I wasn't
friends with him, but I remember getting it at least once and I was like Hey
there's redeeming qualities in everybody. One man's asshole is another
man's fried chicken. lease don't take that quote out of context.
Or do, what do I care. Go for it! It's funnier that way! I'm
on board with you taking it out of context, 100%!
Cool. What else is crap. I think I've been
breathing more than usual. ...okay... that's an interesting thing
to say... but it's true! This morning, while talking to
Nurse before Doctor, she was like what's wrong? and I'm like huh?
and she's like you're doing these deep breathing exercises, is everything
okay? and I'm like nope its unintentional I'm just tryin' to breathe
regular and shit. And, right now, I kinda feel like I'm breathin'
too much for some reason. Anyway, 2 paragraphs to go after this one
until Multiple of 5 is Dunzo. A few entries ago I suddenly had this
problem when I would type, "H," it would show up as, "h7," and when I would
type, "G," it would show up as, "g4." All that's done now! But
there's still problems lurking just beneath the surface. I'll take a walk
now. Finish up 2-7 paragraphs when I get home. EHH I got home and
I'm don. See ya!
October 29, 2019
I Did That Now I Do This
Wow. Had some fun dividing
Old Computer Music into 4 Punk Baby albums! And listening to them
theoretically. Pretty much seperated the songs into albums w/o thinking,
titled them w/o thinking, and ordered them w/o thinking. But based on
listening to them once or twice I think I can deal with the way they've been
born into the world! Titles are Pretty Okay, order often Makes a Bit of
Sense, and the songs??? Well, they're songs! Get off my back about
it. Anyway, it's Punk Baby not because it's Punk-- but rather,
it's a Baby that will one day Grow Up To Be A Punk. No such thing as an
actual punk baby, c'mon.
Anyway Bandcamp says that I've already gotten 101 Song Plays
over the last 24 hours! And that may have All Been Myself BUT MAYBE 1
or 2 WASN'T Me! Can't discount that possibility.
But it does make me go through some memorized of announcing on Facebook I
released a new Internet Album every half a year and have no one respond to it
and the Stats say no one listened to it and the most I got was it got 2 or 3
hits on the website from facebook.com. HEY 2 or 3 PEOPLE?? THAT COULD
EASILY BE AN ALGORITHM BUT I AIN'T COMPLAINING! Algorithms are people
too! Maybe that's my target audience! Robots! Anyway, I think
the albums turned into a pretty interesting experiment. Maybe it's just
me, but it certainly strikes a certain chord with me (Cause I Was What That Guy
Who What Made Those Things Because Of Feelings And Stuff!) WOW!
What else is going on. Back to drinking
every day again. But a little bit less! Progress! I
like how Trump's big thing that's gonna give him a bump in the polls, and the
media actually gave him credit for, was, I KILLED A GUY!
...ALSO IT WASN'T REALLY ME, IT WAS SOLDIERS OR MARINES OR WHATEVER, AND IT WAS
BASED ON THE INFO MY INTELLIGENCE AGENCIES FOUND WITH NO HELP FROM ME
WHATSOEVER, AND I WAS LIKE OKAY SURE GO AHEAD AND KILL HIM!! WHAT DO I
CARE ANYWAY, HE'S BROWN!!! And we're supposed to be like
WOW WHAT A HERO! Anyway. Imagine that there was a really
shitty terrorist whose white. Would the president still be this hyped
about killing him? More importantly-- would the media be fawning over
this? I totold you in the last entry I'm against the death penalty in most
cases BUT HE THERE'S THIS GUY WHO PRESUMABLY WAS A SHITHEAD SUDDENLY THAT
TURNS OUT TO BE ALL THEORETICAL I'M HAPPY AS A CLAM WE DESTROYED HIS LIFE
Also, I think Trump is the last guy you wanna be
publically praising for killing someone. We're now at the top climbing a
very slippery slope. Hey the best coverage I got IN YEARS was WHEN I
HAD A GUY KILLED!!! Maybe Trump's not logical enough to make that
connection, and think Hey maybe I Should Just Kill More People, or maybe
he is! I dunno! He's certainly amoral enough to make that leap.
Whatta world! HEY THIS DUDE WAS A BIG TERRORIST WHAT YOU WANT
HIM ALIVE OR SOMETHIN? Well, several things to respond to-- once--
YEAH I THINK HE SHOULD BE ALIVE AND FACE TRIAL OR SOMETHING I AM AGAINST THE
DEATH PENALTY. Two-- Fuckin' no one terrorizes the majority of
American more than fuckin' Donald Trump. Absolutely True statement and
And when I say terrorizes, I don't just mean oh the
prospect of this guy continuing to be president is terrifying, I just mean,
he does everything at every turn almost every time at the detriment of Our
Country, to undermine Who And What We Are and What We Stand For.
Economically, socially, rule-of-law-ly, culturally, TERRORISMy (encouraging
others to do plain ol' killing-type terrorisms). But, no. This
Brown Guy I Currently Know Nothing Else About doesn't hold no candle!!!
Sweet, what else is going on and crap. Also, that's relevant to this
coverage and how people may or may not respond. Remember-- it's not just
you!, practically no one has ever heard of this guy before.
All we know is Hey I have no idea who this guy is, he's apparently isis which
is terrorism or somethin', and presumably brown. FUCK YEAH I'M GLAD THIS
GUY IS DEAD!!! That's how EVERYONE is gonna feel! ALRIGHT! No
way Trump doesn't get a bunch of supporters for this!!! And then we
act as if that's a forgone conclusion and not something that can be either
encouraged or discouraged. C'mon, press and public. Don't be that
What else is crap. Sixth paragraph! And, fine,
you don't have to agree with me. Mabe you think this guy being dead is
uneqovically good. Great! You're happy when people are killed
without it being in self defense. Lets move on! THIS GUY
WAS A MONSTER!! HE DID TERRORISM! Oh, okay. Tell me,
this guy who you're glad got killed, what exactly did he do?
I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA! Hmm you make an interesting argument.
Someone labels him as a Bad Guy and, without no other knowledge, you think,
"THANK GOD HE'S FINALLY DEAD!" Remember when news of
Hitler's suicide started circulating and FDR had the press conference where he
went I PERSONALLY CAUSED THE KILLING OF HITLER!!! (I know,
but a perfect analogy. Still felt like saying it!) According to
internet, Hitler died 2 weeks AFTER FDR. I wonder if that's one of
those Rules of 3 things. Another celebrity died during that 2 week
period to complete the trifecta. I believe it was FDR, Hitler, And
Anyway, what else is going on. My first
instinct was to say another world leader but I felt it funny to go with
the 3rd person being a celebrity to lump in with the Historic Figures of FDR and
Hitler. Joe DiMaggio may not be a perfect reference-- he's pretty
historical in terms of memorances. I mean we fuckin named a disease after
him! But, here's the problem-- I dunno the C or D list celebrities
of the 1940's. If I did, THEN THEY WOULDN'T BE SO OBSCURE! What
else is going on and crap. THE REAL POINT IS I'VE BEEN CONFUSING
JOE DIMAGGIO WITH LOU GHERIG THIS ENTIRE PARGAARPH. Well
there goes all my credibility. If I don't know the difference between Joe
DiMaggio and Lou Gherig, how can you take seriously anything I say?!??!
In retrospect, googing Joe DiMaggio Disease does feel king of retarded.
Oh well what can ya do.
The Imaginary People
Demand More Semi-Real Entries!
True story. I'm not happy
with just how long its taking to pour a can of BEER oh oh shit just poured
some beer on my laptop keyboard because i was attempting to pour beer into a
glass while typing with the other hand and the whole thing backfired on me
ANYWAY The point is it takes too long to pour a beer
into a gass without it all being Head which is a word I've been assured By No
One is appropriate in this context. I dunno where exactly I got this idea,
but I feel like since quitting cigarettes, I can swallow Drinking more easier
for some reason. Like, I can easily pound a whole can of beer (or a cans'
equivalent in a glass) without thinking twice. Whereas a year ago, ON
CIGARETTES, for some reason I could only make it several gulps at a time.
Cool. I think part of it is I'm doing more ThTHROATAL GULPING as opposed
to several successive larger SIPS from THE TOP OF MY MOUTH.
Anyway. The Line Spacing just changed because I Don't
Know Why and it's taken me More Than 5 Minutes to figure out how to change it
back AND I DON'T FUCK NO TASKS THAT TAKE MORE THAN 5 MINUTES I AIN'T NO
CHUMP. Anyway. I think its fascinating that the first 4-5
times I watched The Wire, I saw the humanity and goodness in pretty much every
character. And, watching it this time around, I'm more like Holy Shit
These People Are All Assholes! Except for, off the top of my
head, the lady Police who was just a regular local police until season 2 thrust
her into a murder investigation. I can't remember any negative
qualities about her. Unless you wanna be like she ain't BIG TIME she small
not much of a cop! In which case, WTF your problem she's doing the
best she can!
Two things I've done in the last 24 hours that I've
enjoyed-- 1) this morning, went to supermarket. When I first started doing
it w/ my dad (essentially, I get heavy stuff [16 soda bottles] and other stuff
for me and Mom, and he gets the rest, and we meet up at the cashier), I dreaded
it. It was a snooze and I couldn't wait for it to be over in a FEELING BAD
sort of way. Now I LOVE IT! I wake up, we have to go, I do it, and
the whole time I'm thinking, THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME BECASUE ITITS A
WHOLE TOTAL WEEK BEFORE DOING THIS AGAIN. Even WHILE It'S HAPPENINING
I'm like HOLY SHIT AFTER THIS A FULL SEVEN DAYS!!! Anyway, other
thing I've enjoyed-- I enjoy getting new bottles of alcohol. Because it's
unlimited alcohol for, I dunno the first week or so? No subconciously
thinking, alcohol supply is gettin' low, what am I gonna do about it.
I got a full 1.75 LITER BOTTLE HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW THIS IS GONNA LAST ME FUCKIN'
TWO WEEKS PROBABLY IF I PLAY MY CARDS RIGHT BUT ALSO HEY MAYBE I CHOOSE TO
PLAY MY CARDS WRONG WHO CARES.
Stuff like that. I dunno if there's some kind of
training they do where they learn if people are like hey I just want a little
wh7ite sauce that it actually means PUT A LOT OF WHITE SAUCE ON IT JUST
SLIG$H&TLY LESS TH&AN NORMAL. Anyway. Wh7at else is g4oing4 on.
wg4g4fh7g4h7jkh7g4g54h6 g4h7jg4f h7 WTF WH7EN I TYPE H7 I G4ET H7H7 AND WH7EN I
TYPE G4 I G4ET G4G4 TH7IS IS A SIG4N FROM UP ABOVE TO QUIT WRITING4 TH7IS ENTRY
AND RESUME CRAZYSH7EET AT SOME POINT WH7ERE I, OUT OF BLIND LUCK, FIG4URE OUT
H7OW TO FIX TH7IS! SEE YA LATER\2
MONDAY, OCTOBER TWENTYEIGHT,
HEY NO NEW ENTRY TODAY BUT I
WANTED TO ALERT YOU THAT I PUT UP SEVERAL ALBUMS WORTH OF SONGS THAT I
MADE A LONG TIME AGO-- MOSTLY 2010, AND 20% THE YEARS SURROUNDING 2010!!!
CHECK IT OUT FOR SOME
October 27, 2019
Hey Hey What Can I Title
Well, there's entries. That's
one thing. Easiest thing to do which involves a title so Here I Am!
The point is I went out for a walk in the rain like a fool. What a
Subway Sandwich isn't just gonna materialize/metastasize in my kitchen by
itself! I think the big reason Medicare 4 All won't pay for itself is
that people are just gonna be purposely getting sick just to get the free care.
Ok that's silly. That ain't gonna happen. Just me being stupid. HOWEVER
people are just gonna do RISKY things that they would otherwise do
if not for the potential financial effects of healthcare that are a consequence
to the negative health effects of said risky behavior. Like, cigarettes.
I'ma smoke ALL THE cigarettes now cause I Know when I get cancer that
Shit is COVERED IMA GO CRAZYRISK with my Healthlife!
Either that'll happen, or we pay less for health care
in a simplified system that will benefit us all. Nah I think it's just
gonna be a bunch of people smoking cigarettes. Hey, that works out
fine, too! Everyone gets cancer and dies, suddenly not so much healthcare
that has to me doled out. Everyone's already dead! No need to
care for them at all anymore! The point is Sure I Got Subway but I'm
not gonna eat it for about an hour! Pair that shit with Matzoh Ball Soup
from Past Night's dinner! Anyway it's almost Halloween. I think it's nice
to have a holiday Devoted To Fun. No other holiday really is just
For Fun. I mean Christmas NOWADAYS is fun but its real main point is
hey Christ was born lets talk about it. And every other holiday is
meant as a solemn remembrance of some person or thing that happened.
Halloween? HEY SOME WEIRDOS BACK IN THE DAY USED THIS AS A PAGAN
HOLIDAY BUT IT DOESN'T MATCH UP WITH ANYTHING IN OUR JUDEO-CHRISTIAN CALENDAR AT
ALL SO FUCK IT LETS JUST HAVE SOME FUN AND EAT CANDY!!!
Sounds good to me! I think it was a real
Life-Changing moment about a year and a half ago when I went to do the Monday
Night Open Mic in the city with my acoustic guitar and it was raining pretty
hard. Because now I can walk around in Hard Rain and still feel like
this is like that time which wasn't THAT BAD, and now it's even LESS bad, I'm
not carrying a heavy acoustic guitar. So the point is RAIN IS A PUSSY
WHAT'S IT GONNA DO ABOUT IT. Presumably the Halloween-originanator-weirdos
probably had some Pagan Spells to ward of the rain. I'ma need those spells
Quick if Rain hears that I've been talkin' shit about it!
What else is crap. This is probably just Human Nature
beyond myself, but I don't get why, for example, in the world series 2019, I'm
rooting for A Longer Series. I don't care really who wins the world
series. But one team was up 2 games to 0, so I of course start rooting for
the other team. Now it's 2 games to 2 and that's hte best case scenario!
I guess My Human Nature is I just hope everyone has a good time.
Because that's the main consequences of a longer series, right? More
people having fun. Man am I an altruistic Mother Fucker.
Let's give me a hand! Also I am kinda rooting for the Astros.
So there goes that entire premise! Such is life Many Premises are Based
on Faulty Information.
What else is going on. Anyway my Mom just did my
laundry (I'M ONLY 30 GET OFF MY BACK) and I brought up a shirt I'm sure I
haven't seen in years. I dunno how it got mixed up with this Batch of Laundry,
but anyway, it's a shirt I used to wear in high school which has a freeze frame
of David Cross's character in the Mr. Show Titanica sketch. Where
he's in a hospital bed and his body is as one of them says like a wet cigar.
(Did one of them say that? Or did I just think that in my head?
Probably not because I don't think I'm capable of producing that analogy.
Someone must have said it). Anyway after years of wearing it, even
by the end of high school, the freeze frame was so grainy that you couldn't make
anything out at all. EXCEPT for on the back of the shirt it still clearly
has the phrase I'm The Coolest Kid In The World! (which is a line he says
in the sketch).
FASCINATING. That's Two paragraphs devoted to
Let Me Describe My Shirt over the last 3 days. Wonderful.
I'll keep you updated on this Shirt Situation as it develops. Sixth
paragraph! I dunno. Watched some SNL this morning. It's fun because
Hey look at that. That's my thoughts on that. Hey there must
be some new Simpsons going on. That usually happens around this time
of the year! Can't wait to check that out once I get my new TV!
Closing in on 2 full years since I was promised it! I'M ONLY 30 GET OFF MY
BACK ABOUT IT. I was thinking about it and I realized, hey in six
weeks I'm gonna be THIRTY ONE. THAT'S SOLIDLY ,"IN MY THIRTIES"
oh no run away! I don't trust people in their 30's! They
can't relate to Today's Youth like I can! Also, Logan's Run! I think
they killed people once they turned 30! Well, I guess I'm already
living on borrowed time. I shuold be happy just for that.
To be fair, when I think of Today's Youth, I do
just think about People My Age. Maybe a little bit younger.
I just will Eternally think of my generation as Today's Youth.
DEAL WITH IT. Younger generations are just gonna have to come up
with a new word for, "Youth," because I'm holding onto it FOREVER.
That settles that. Anyway. For the 12 days of Christmas, does
that start before Actual Christmas? Like, is Christmas the 12th day
of Christmas in that scneario? Cause, if so, I believe mathematically my
birthday is on The 12 days of Christmasth' Eve. FASCINATING TELL ME
MORE. Well that's about it. FASCINATING.
Cool! I'm okay with getting married to a girl who
worships Christ, hopefully passively though!, and celebrating Christmas with My
Family! Seems like fun. I'm also okay with marrying a girl who
worships Regular God, and we celebrate Chanukah! I'll be able to inject
some fun into that snooze fest probably! Sure, I'd marry a girl where
there's no obvious yearly holiday where Fun Usually Occurs! We'll make
our own fun! By Concocting The 12 days of Halloween! So,
great, what else is going on and crap, right? Line of thought--
Christmas/Halloween --> Festivus --> Jerry Stiller --> Michael Richards -->
I I bet if Michael Richards saying the N-word happened during Trump, there
would be a significant portion of People Jumping Over Themselves to defend him!
Well, that's true, I guess. Who cares.
I DUNNO PPL MAYBE? What else is crap. Ninth paragraph! Wonderful.
Got some BBQ sauce (Barbeque Sauce) on my Subway Sandwich we'll see how that
goes! Did BBQ become shorthand for Barbeque because people are LAZY or
because people are STUPID. I think probably Stupid. It's not
that much of an effort to use the additional 5 letters to go from BBQ to
Barbeque. Nah, more likely its just there's people who are like
BARBEQUE HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HOW TO SPELL THAT?!?!?
There's a ,'Q," in there and I DON'T FUCK WITH NO Q's.
I guess. What else is crappening. I think the
best case scenario for Game 5 of The World Series is A Naked Gun scenario
where one of the players has been brainwashed into killing Trump during the 7th
inning stretch. I dunno. Maybe it would be a better world without
Trump, but I am against the death penalty IN THEORY. I'll have to
think about this one for a bit. The real point is that
I think it would be a better world if there were more references to Naked
Gun 1: The Movie. Fuck you I don't give a shit. Fine we're
all on board with Naked Gun 1: The Movie being referenced a lot. Oh
okay then carry on. ...We're also all on board with Trump being gone
WE JUST DON'T TALK ABOUT IT. Jeez. That makes 2 of us. Yup--
the non-bold me, PLUS the bold me! Really building a consensus on this.
What else is going on and crap.
11th paragraph. I guess. I wonder how that BBQ sauce is
metastasizing with the sandwich in the fridge. Who knows for sure.
Don't Kill Donald Trump. I don't want anyone saying Crazysheet Told
Me To Do It. That would mess with my brand premise of I'll Never
Subtly Encourage You To Kill People! That's what people expect from me
and I'd be a fool to mess with That Good Thing. It's subtle because first I
suggested it In A Joke and then I clearly said Don't Do It. Doesn't
get much more subtle than that!! Huh. Anyway started lunch 20
minutes before I thought I would. I guess that's how life turns out
sometimes! I think if Trump looked around the world at other Autocrats and
saw them facigin some penalties or consequences from their populations, he might
have to think oh maybe there is a downside to pursuing this kind of
leadership. So far, though, he doesn't see how it could lead to
anything negative! Hey how about that. I was thinking about
how Conan used to do those freeze frames of celebrities where the mouth moves
and someone impersonates the and It's A Comedy Bit. Cause I think Trump
was one of the go-to guys for that. Thanks a lot. WHY
COULDN'T HE HAVE DONE THAT BIT WITH JILL STEIN THROUGHOUT THE 2000'S!?!?
I don't know the first thing about Jill Stein.
Just seemed like an appropriate reference for that. Hopefully Maybe
we've finally gotten past it, but for a large chunk of Trump's
candidacy/presidency, I think the media was just acting under the assumption
when this is over he'll go back to being The Donald Trump from The APprentice.
We'll all put aside EVERYTHING and just let him return to being The Guy He Was.
Hopefully people have realized that's No Good. But, anyway, sure,
what else. I think People Like Me have made it clear the only reason we
would watch Trump on TV after he's been president is to see him get kicked in
the butt over and over for 22 or 42 minutes. TRUE humiliation and/or pain.
It would be a weird alternate universe where, after Trump
gets elected, he decided the premise of his presidency would be YEAH I'M
GONNA DO THIS RIGHT, PRETEND TO BE A REAL PRESIDENT, GO CENTER-RIGHT, TRY TO
APPEAL TO EVERYONE AND BE AS NORMAL AS POSSIBLE! I could see a
scenario where he decides to do that. And History Would Never Be The Same.
Oh well what can ya do. Maybe he thinks he can act like a crazy
white nationalist criminal and still pretend 30% of the time WHAT'S YOUR
PROBLEM I'M JUST A REGULAR PRESIDENT WHY YOU ON MY CASE?!?! and he doesn't
recognize that he can't get to be both at once. Anyway. That's it
for now. See ya later.
October 26, 2019
Good When The Title Is Friends With The Entry
special title, that one is! Woke up the latest I've ever woken up Going
Back At Least A Week WOW That's A Whole Lot Of Record-ing Precedent!
Like 10:00, 10:15! A.M. Which means something one would imagine.
P.M. means Post Meridian. A.M., who knows. Aaaaarrrrrlier
Meridian? Oh, AM means ANTE which does mean, "Before," in Latin.
Anyway. I'm going to be honest-- I was 90% sure Post Meridian was
nonsense that was not really what it was, but it was my silly way of continuing
that thought. Turns out I was EXACTLY RIGHT. Isn't that the
pinnacle of Sillydom? When the sillidom turns out to be the
rightness all along? I think there should be a spin off of Where in
the world is Carmen San Diego? and it's called When in the world
is Carmen San Diego? Is it... NOW? Nope. .....
How about now? Nope... NOW? Nope.
I'll keep the two of us updated on this situation as it
progresses. Got some Oven in the Lunch. Hey he spoke English
wrong HILARIOUS! Anyway, we're talkin 1/3rd of a low calorie Frozen
Pizza Pie! We're talking a 100 calorie SuperMarketBrand Potato Knish.
We're talkin I Will Assemble A SANDWICH out of 2 pieces of bread and some
SupermarketProcessedTurkeyAndHam. We're talkin a Nice Varietied Lunch!
Hey I've made yukkemups about General Tso's chicken BUT I just
realized there's some Stupidity to be mined in terms of Hey he's a fuckin
general where do you get off calling him CHICKEN?!?! General Tso(')s
chicken, seems like we're besmirching this general's good name for all of
eternity or at least as long as people are aware of the dish called General
Tso's Chicken!!! Doesn't seem fair to General Tso. Oh well what's
he gonna do about it? General Tso is Chicken.
Yeah! I thought of it because I said
sandwich. Which made me think of Earl of Sandwich which I
believe is where it comes from. So I was like Hmm what are things are
where the names of food comes from. Anyway just took oven out of oven.
I mean lunch out of lunch I MEAN LUNCH OUT OF OVEN. Anyway. I
Get Breakfast. You're Breaking Your Nightly Fast. I get Dinner.
You're Dining. What the Hell is Lunch. Anyway today is
Saturday I got that going for me ALL DAY. In as soon as six days I can
start a new Crazysheet Month. Looking forward to experimenting with
possibly MULTI-COLORED ENTRIES ON WHITE BACKGROUND HOLY SHIT GET OUT
OF THE WAY! I think the way they created the character of Jesse
Pinkman on Breaking Bad was We need a character who, if written, would be the
epitome of someone who would say to our protagonist, "Hey, Walt White, Man!"
His name is Walter White. Walt is short of Walter. Walt Whitman was
a poet. Now IM a poet for writing that riff. May
not be funny but it is Poetry. Prove me wrong!
What if I just decided to be like Nope the last seven
years of crazysheet was actually ONE LONG EXPERIMENTAL POEM DEAL WITH IT!
You can't prove me wrong or anything, right? You'd just have to deal with
it. Anyway. Fourth paragraph. Continuing trend of sometimes
listening to Music Albums on walks. Besides my own Crap, here's the albums
I've listened to over the last 3 or 4 days -- Nirvana-Nevermind, Elliott
Smith-New Moon, Ben Folds-Rockin' The Suburbs, The Get Up Kids-Guilt Show,
Fountains of Wayne-Utopia Parkway. THAT SETTLES THAT. Anyway
I live in the Suburbs more or less I guess. It's definitely Beyond-Urb.
Might get even more Subsurburban for real suburbs but where I'm at is
definitely sub-urb to some extent. I'm not happy about it
either, I'm just stating the facts! I live in a house and there's no
bodega or anything until several blocks away!!!
What else is going on. I live in a
development called Park Ridge and its on the ridge of Alley Pond Park.
I literally just put those two things together a few days ago. AH I SEE
VERY CLEVER!!! The majority of those Albums were listened to from
inside the park! I take half my walks in there and whatnot and it just
so happened that its lined up with when I listen to my musics. I dunno.
What else do I got for the rest of the day. Gettin' bored of my HBOClassic
Bingewatchathon 2019. But the good news is I Will Be Dead Soon.
Well, relatively soon. What's 40, 50 years in the big scheme of
things. And then I won't have to worry about HBOClassic at all. It
is interesting, though. Out of all the animals I could have been, all the
time periods I could have lived, in all the countries, in all the socio-economic
conditions-- I happened to be one of the very, very few incarnate Beings Who
Spends Their Life On This Earth Watching HBOClassic. On one hand, a lot of
people these days have watched The Sopranos and The Wire. On the other
hand, most people on Earth, now or whenever, haven' watched/will not
watch The Sopranos and The Wire. And, even more, there have been animals
and/or plants who couldn't even watch The Sopranos or The Wire if their lives
depended on it. Interesting stuff!
The Rest of The Entry May
Or May Not Exist
Figure 5 more paragraphs, call it an entry, go back to bed. Jeez.
That's a thought I've had many times over the course of my life. Hey of
all the things you could be isn't it weird I Turned Out To Be Me?
Usually accompanied by the thought that I hit the jackpot. I gotta be in
the top 1, 5% wealth-wise in the world, right? I got to be living in a
really cool time to be alive. I'm pretty privileged compared the crap hand
so many other people are dealt. Well, great, thanks a lot.
What else is crap and stuff. Whattado. I
gotta keep watching HBOClassic, right, what other choice to I have!?! The
only choice I have in life is to Keep Going Down The Obvious Path of Consuming
Mass Media As It's Being Laid Out For Me. Movies, music, TV, Social
Media-- just keep consuming that crap and see how that goes! What other
choice do I have? I think I cancelled my Facebook just in time. A
week after I cancelled it turns out that they're like Oh Brietbart that's the
news we're on board with. So now I look like a genius for jumping ship
before they publicly aligned themselves with Alt-Right websites.
Look like a genius? I'm On Board With That!
I remember there was speculation in some sort of article or something about how
there might be a Right-WIng competitor to Facebook where its just for
conservatives. Turns out nope just wait a while, Facebook'll turn into
that on its own. So they got that going for 'em! Anyway, jeez.
Two and a half paragraphs to go. Anyway. I remember back in the day
of Having a TV Saturday Nights were special cause it was all like Hey man
them premium channels they debut new movies Saturday Nights Let's Get Hyped Man
Yea. Then it lost some Specialness because they'd be available on
Demand 30 hours later, so you didn't need to watch it then. Then it lost
more specialness because it started being available on demand the week before
so you could have already seen it. Then it lost more Special because I
no longer have a TV THE WHOLE PROCESS IS COMPLETELY USELESS TO ME NOW.
What else is crappening. Elijah Cummings'
commemorationfuneralthing was a few days ago. I apologize profusely in
advance-- the newspaper article announcing his death, the headline should have
been Cummings & Goings. That's all life is. Coming and going.
It's like Avon Barksdale says on HBOClassic, only two days you do in prison,
the first day and the last day. There's only 2 things we do in life.
Come and go. Probably why we like to cum so much. So much
better than Going. Anyway, what else is crap. One more
paragraph to go after this one! Then I get to finish watching In The Tall
Grass which is a pretty spooky movie I'm not ashamed to say it! I wa
spooked by what I've seen so far but I'm gonna keep watching BECAUSE I'M A MAN
SURE THINGS SPOOK ME BUT I'VE LEARNED HOW TO DEAL WITH IT FOR ANOTHER 40
MINUTES OR SO. Alright that's enough for now. Nine
paragraphs! Nine is an okay number! See ya later!
October 25, 2019
Relatively Soon, The
Entry Will Happen
Well it's happening now.
I called that shit! Jeez let's write a good entry this
time around. For a change. Ya know, make some good ol' laugh-em-ups,
maybe an insight-em-up or two, talk some real shit about crap and things.
Starting.... NOW! Hey hey what's the what deal hey hey OK
FUK THAT FOR REAL STARTING.... NOW!
Let's start over. Hi! I'm
wearing my favorite shirt today. Prove me wrong! One of only 2 or 3
Main Shirts which has long sleeves. Kind of a heavier material, not a
sweater by any means, but boy this'll keep ya cool throughout Late October.
Brown. Who doesn't like a Nice Brown Shirt. Not too flashy,
not flashy at all-- but Solid! ALl that together, the whole package, it's
not making any statement other than Nice, Dependable Shirt. Also,
was wearing this shirt through some of the best Social Media Photos over the
several years I had several Social Media Photos taken-- specifically ones
associated with good memories! The point is I want to be buried in this
shirt. Or cremated. Then I Become One With The Shirt presumably.
Best case scenario for me, and best case scenario for shirt.
Also, if reincarnation is in the cards, I sure hope I'm somehow reunited with
this shirt in Future Life. Or, for that matter, I was in contact with this
shirt in some past life. That would be a nice twist of events!
Hey! Gonna drink some beer today. No liquor,
just beer! Made a pact with myself to not watch Season 5 of The Wire at
all. Why put myself through all that pain and misery. Go out on top,
that's what I say! Well, I might start saying it. Seems as good a
catchphrase as anything. Anyway. Just saw a poster for the Special
Olympics 10 minutes ago. [I went to pick up laundry at the Laundromat
Mid-Section-of-entry, GET OVER IT.] I feel like I'm a little special
but not special enough. I'm just special enough to be aware Something's
Wrong, but not special enough to not be aware of it. If you're Too
Special, it all goes over your head! Saw a "Special" guy on my walk today.
Well, he LOOKED special at least. Really Big Head with a Special
Haircut and I dunno his eyes just looked kinda special to me. He asked me
something and I just said nope sorry without 100% registering what it
was. Might have been asking me for gum. I was chewing gum at the
Anyway. 2nd Half of Halal Food for lunch, with the Key
Addition of some scrambled eggs. Mix em up together you got yourself a
nice lunch going. I saw Trump is planning on attending Game 5 of the World
Series should it reach that point. Wonder what Trump would do if
North Korea was like Hey we wanna take over Game 5 of the World Series.
Sort of a, "Sudden Death" situation but we want you to sanction it.
And he'd be like YUP SOUNDS GOOD TO ME! AMERICA'S PAST TIME?
IT'S PAST TIME WE GOT RID OF THIS AMERICAN PRESIDENT FOR THE PRESENT GUY!
The really sad part is when I made that Sudden Death joke, there was a shit load
of countries I could choose from. Went with North Korea, but the first
instinct was Turkey, then Russia, then Saudi Arabia... Man America has
a lot of enemies that our commander in chief is close friends with.
What else is going on. I think North Korea makes the
most sense for that kind of joke because I think Trump and Kim Jong Un are
actually a lot alike. Putin is playing Trump, I dunno about Turkey and
Saudi Arabia, probably exploiting one might say, but I think him and Kim
are just both really insecure dummies who like being dictators. Just my
guess of how things are. Anyway. I don't think its fair that
Special Athletes get their own shot at things, but not in any other arena.
Say I wanna be a director and I'm, ya know, retarded. Maybe there should
be a Special Hollywood where they let me make some Special movies. Or I
wanna be a CFO of a company. But I'm clinically an idiot. Special
Wall Street where I get to run the numbers for something! Why should
Special Athletes get a free ride when the rest of us Specials are out in the
rain? Man I could sure go for a Special Umbrella...
Are any of us actually supposed to be interested or
invested in the Special Olympics? I mean, people must be into it,
otherwise they'd be operating at a loss and that's not sustainable over time.
But beyond Special People and Special People's immediate families, who the hell
is excited about the Special Olympics? I'm not saying its right to
ignore them, just a cold hard fact. But, then again, I've never had
any interest in any Olympics ever. Closest I came was in 1998 they had a
Nintendo 64 Game based on the Nagano Olympics, and I rented it, and it was
crappy, and then I swore off the Olympics altogether. Also I've always
liked the word Bobsledding but beyond the word itself I don't care much
about anything. I think its ironic that there's a lake named Lake Placid
but Lake Placid is actually Anything But Placid (there's a big monster or
alligator or something in there I saw a documentary about it).
I don't get the subgenre of Horror Movies where its just
there's a Real Existing animal that's just acting like itself. Jaws.
Ben. Cujo. It's just about animals behaving normally. I I
dunno, somethin' like that. I think they shold remake Ben or Willard
or whatever the Main Movie Of That Franchise Was and they play Bullet With
Butterfly Wings over the trailer and its really HyperModern and stuff like
that. Gimme some Special Movie Producer Sheet for that. It's
not completely out of the ordinary for song titles to not reflect the lyrical
content of the song, but I think that song (Smashing Pumpkins' Bullet With
Butterfly Wings [the song that goes despite all my rage I am still just a rat
in a cage] was the first song I really took note of this phenomenon and IT
PISSED ME THE FUCK OFF. Can't be that bad of a cage, I mean obviously
the song got out of the cage and I'm hearing it.
Get Over Myself
Is it okay for me to say Nagano Olympics?
Or do I have to say the N-word Olympics. That's what my brain is
capable of Right Now. I can't control my brain any more than I can
control my fingers. Is there a slightly-alternate universe where white
people refer to non-white people as Special? And 100 years ago
instead o the Negro Leagues we just had Special Baseball. My guess?
Who knows I don't know anything about alternate universes and string theory and
what what people are inclined to call people who may or may not be the same as
them. I saw there was an MLB umpire who called for civil war or something
and MLB was just like Boys will be boys! I mean, at the very least,
can't you fire him because if I was an African American At Bat KINDA SEEMS
LIKE HE'S NOT GONNA BE CALLING BALLS AND STRIKES FAIRLY??!?!? Nope.
They've foreseen that conflict of interest (how can they not?) and were like
HEY IF WE START FIRING UMPIRES FOR BEING RACIST AND CALLING FOR CIVIL WARS
WE'RE GONNA BE OUT OF UMPIRES QUICK.
Makes sense to me. Just let 'em form a Confederate
League. Combine American and National leagues, they siphon off a
Confederate League made up of Racist city/states. and the two only meet in
the world series. Everyone's happy then! It's a real Separate but eq--
wait no we've tried that before Didn't Work Out That Well. Yeah, but
this time around-- the Good Guys Are The Better Off! We could just
reinstitute Separate But Equal but the majority are minorities and non-racist
majorities. And those people who are racist are the Separate But Equal'd.
That'll show 'em, that'll show all of 'em! Some sort of pun with the
artificial sweetener Equal and Separate But Equal.
Make it happen! I'm too special to follow through on my own Pun Potential!
Jeez. ~10th paragraph. Let's write at least 1
more paragraph. Shouldn't a Strike in Baseball mean when they hit
the ball? Hey that ball was struck by the bat! Makes more sense.
Also Strike In Baseball 1994 They Never Finished The Season Lets Talk About It.
Also, the umpire calls a Ball. Yeah its ALWAYS been a ball. It
was a ball before he threw it, it was a ball while it crossed the plate, and it
remains a ball in the catcher's glove. Let's talk about things.
Anyway, another entry in the books. I'll see you guys later.
October 24, 2019
Gonna Write An Entry
About Myself Watching Myself Writing An Entry
More or less I guess. I'm tellin'
ya, it's Thursday Afternoon! Why Won't Anyone Believe Me?!?
Well, it's still Before Noon by a Quarter Of a Turn, but you get the point.
Haven't drank in over 60 hours! Let's see if I can keep that going
today. Writing An Entry is gonna provide Dumb Temptations to drink.
Hey I'm gonna start a habit of starting new slang but the meaning of the slang
is Up In The Air. That's probably how All Good Slangs start, right?
Make people figure 'em out by their own damn selves. I like how for the
most part, much popular slang comes from minority communities. African
American communities, often. It's like Hey They Took Back The N-Word...
well, that's fair, but now we're down a word... you know what we're gonna take
some of their NICE, POSITIVE words! Well, anyway, put a nice positive spin
on 'em, anyway, by implying they're great through the process of constantly
using them! Everybody wins in that scenario. We each get another
ones' words but we're making progress in having our shared collective words be
Sure that makes sense, I'm Not Drunk, that means
everything I write makes sense! I know OZ is several tiers below in
Critically Recognized Greatness than The Wire and The Sopranos, but what's the
consensus of The Wire vs. The Sopranos? Pretty good idea for a Cross
Over Mini Series, at least. Cracked that HBOFantasy code. HBO
should just pull aa Stephen King and start combining All Of Their Shows from the
past 3 decades. They should do it because I just thought of it.
Everything I think of should be done. Until I forget about it in a few
minutes. Then they don't have to be done anymore. Time heals all
wounds. I stopped following Elizabeth Warren on Twitter. I felt it
was unfair to lead Elizabeth Warren's Twitter Algorithms on. And I didn't
like the inherent conflict of seeing a Bernie Sanders Tweet right before/after
an Elizabeth Warren tweet, and have to constantly come to terms with, in my own
head, ok these two things are... different... things... the point is
Elizabeth Warren is great and maybe one day I'll follow her on Twitter again if
Bernie Sanders if ever out of the race but for now ONE TWITTER FEED, ONE
CANDIDATE DOMINATING SAID FEED. I feel very strongly about this.
Hey, great, what else. Gettin' back into the habit
of listening to Full Albums of music during walks. Or, at least, 30
minutes worth of Full Albums. Either condensed by Skipping Songs, or,
better, stopping songs even if I like 'em with a minute or two left.
Hey I wanna get to all of these songs within 30 minutes I don't like this either
but I just gotta move on to the next song I've Heard Quite Enough! I
dunno. Figure I'll take a break after this paragraph. Watch some
more HBOClassic, take a walk, pick up some lunch, then get right back into the
swing of things!
More Or Less I Guess
Hey I still got that going on? Great,
good for me. Hey I can start listening to PodCasts during walks!
That's good. Do kids today wonder why is it called a podcast, that's so
random. Probably-- Kids LOVE calling things, "Random!" But also,
it's because in the 2000's, there was a device called an iPod which allowed you
to listen to mp3 files On The Go. No phone or anything else, solely for
listening to audio files! Well, after a while you could watch video on it to.
But that's neither Here Nor There. ...Gotta be somewhere, though.
I'll let you know what I figure out Where It Is. Is the Shuffling Way of
listening to music Gone now? I mean, Apple Music, you have no incenstive
to download it yourself. You can put Shuffle on for a playlist or an
album, but if you wanna Shuffle BEtween All These Songs You Like and Have Built
Up Into AN Extensive Catologue-- seems like in most cases that doesn't come up
naturally. Poor kids. Shufflin' is a lost art form.
An art form run by Algorithms. Computers' Art Form. Something like
Anyway, what else is crap. Although, for someone
with paranoia, better off without shuffling. Otherwise you'd
constantly be thinking HEY THIS NEW SONG IS JUST A LITTLE TOO RELEVANT
TAKING INTO ACCOUNT THE PREVIOUS SONG AND THE NARRATIVE THAT IS BEING CREATED
FROM SONG TO SONG! So that's good, don't have to worry about that
happening. Anyway, Now, doing some drinking. I figure if I can limit
it to 2-3, that's not so bad. Anyway. The progression of the
characters' community in OZ really shifts over the course of the series.
The first season or two, the whole main point of the show is ALL THESE DIFFERENT
GROUPS AND THEY HATE EACH OTHER AND ALL THAT SORTA STUFF GOTTA STICK WITH YOUR
GROUP!!! But episode by episode, season by season, by the end of the show
they're all just basically friends watching TV together 80% of the time.
Cracked that code.
No I didn't. But I DID crack the code that there
is a Code There To Be Cracked. And nobody can take that away from me!
I don't get why The Governor is always showing up at Oswald Penitentiary.
Every minor plot point that happens its like HERE COMES TO GOVERNOR HE'S BEEN
ALERTED OF THIS SITUATION BIG DEAL HAPPENING. Like one of the
governor of a state's top priority is hey there's this ONE PRISON in the
state where sometimes Violence Happens Or Somethin' GOTTA SHOW UP THERE EVERY
WEEK. I dunno, crap and crap. Looks like The Washington
Nationalists are Way Ahead Of The Astros at World Seriesiness. I wouldn't
count the Astros out yet, tough! Because they still have a significant
mathematical chance of winning! That's just obvious! I hope after
falling behind 0-2 in the Best of Seven series, the headline of the Sports page
in Texas was HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM! And then the crux of the
article is like Guys the world series is falling out of reach c'mon gotta
figure this one out.
Anyway. Happy with discarding the process of New
Color Per Entry. That really was just gettin' me messed up. I hope
that when a Democrat is running for governor in Texas, and the premise, true or
not, is that he's gonna raise taxes, the headline of the paper is Democrat
Thinks We're Not Called Texas, But TAX-US! READ MORE BELOW.
That's how headlines, puns, exposition, and grammar work, right? Somethin'
like that. Seventh paragraph! I dunno, great. Gonna go take
another break. I'll be back at some point, don't you worry!
So Many Other Supplies I Can Get High From!
HWait.. I can listen to music that's not
my own? And I can read things I haven't written?
And I can talk to people outside my he-- Oh No is that not possible
yet? Two out of three ain't bad! Anyway, got some
lunch from Halal Cart. Well, it's a Cart that houses a person who
presumably keeps Halal and he makes food that's presumably Halal. The
cart, though, I don't know what that physical structure is All About at all!
Hah, Kurt Cobain said a few hours ago, We can plant a house, we can build
a tree... what do you think he meant by that? Gotta mean
something! I think its kind of sad that I think the best quality my own
music has is that hey it could mean different things based on how you're
feeling and where your head is it. Because the truth is Yeah
EVERYTHING acts that way. But for me it seems like an accomplishment
that I should be proud of.
Cool! GREAT NEWS started a new HBOClassic show to binge
watch-- The Mr. Larry Saunders Programme. Would estimate I've gone
through it completely 4-5 times in the past. One more and I get a free
Pizza or something! It's interesting to watch because its like oh this
is the best that late night comedy had to offer almost three decades ago?
How Fare We've Come. I credit audiences, not performers and
writers. We have developed a taste for Better QUality Entertainment, a
more nuanced palette, and forced them to accommodate us! WELL DONE
EVERYONE! Anyway, what else is going on. I find it disconcerting that
when I get Halal Food, depending on the time, but maybe like 50% of Any Given
Time, there's a crowd of 8 or 10 high schoolers crowded around right in front
of the cart. And sometimes they're ordering something and sometimes
they're not. I get behind them as if there was a line, and sometimes
that's confirmed, and I have to wait, and sometimes the Halal Man nods at me and
asks for my order. GET IT TOGETHER HIGH SCHOOL KIDS EITHER GET HALAL
FOOD OR GET OUT OF THE WAY.
Sweet. I think if you're getting high, it should
be from your own supply. That way you don't owe nobody nothin'! Plus
what else are you gonna do with it, sell it? Now you're a drug dealer!
Give it away? What's the use of that? No, get high off your own
supply, only option that makes sense. Or store it. That's a good
choice. Really build up A Lot Of Supply, bury it in the ground somewhere,
then when it's reached its peak value dig it up and either get high yourself,
sell it, or if you're feeling generous, give it away! Makes sense to
me! I think we're reaching a tipping point in this country where we
sort of have to come to terms with exactly HOW STUPID are we [by WE i mean At
Least Some Of Us] and also exactly HOW CRIMINAL/CORRUPT are we? [by WE i
mean At Least Some Of Us] Those are the two things that seem to really
be up in the air and I dunno how its gonna turn out! Oh well we'll see!
11th paragraph! I wouldn't be surprised if it turns
out Oh the stupid of us aren't THAT stupid it turns out, and those who are
THAT stupid are a clear minority, but I also wouldn't be surprised if Oh
Yup America is fuckin' retarded! Likewise, criminal/corrupt, it could
turn out Shit there's a lot of criminals and corruptors in charge but there's
enough law and order to help me maintain the illusion there's law and order,
or it might turn out, nope it's so bad there's not even room to even pretend
its not as bad as it is. Either way, great, we get to find out!
I don't get why it had to be Ukraine that all of this happened with.
I mean, theoretically, it had tobe Ukraine because that's wher Joe Biden's son
was doin' something. But that scandal was completely bullshit and
fabricated. Why wouldn't Trump just be like ok, 1 country isn't biting,
300 to go! SINGAPORE, what kind of bullshit can they pull to smear my
Anyway, I dunno. Things work out the way they do!
Anyway, what else is going on. I think Cardi B shuold make a promotional
video highlighting the plight of the Kurds and in it she repeatedly goes O
KURRRRRd. Because That's The Kind Of World I Want To Live In This
Week! When I was a kid the main Female Rapper who was a sex symbol was Lil
Kim. And the main Female rapper who was the other female rapper I know and
maybe a better rapper I dunno was Eve. That's right-- Two! I knew
of 2 female rappers! And now I know two female rappers again.
Cardi B and Nicki Minaj. Wonderful. I know even more! I
feel like I should be awarded some sort of prize for knowing two or more
cultural references. I'm not sure what they're doing, but Starbucks and
Dunkin Donuts are way ahead of the pack in terms of Keeping Cool Technology.
I put a cup of Cold Brew with ice cubes in it into the fridge? Several
days later, you take it out, THERE'S STILL FUCKIN' ICE CUBES IN IT!
IN FACT BY THIS POINT THEY'VE COMBINED TO FORM SOME SORT OF ICE GLACIER.
That stuff should melt in the fridge! Well, a more
apt way of describing this would just to highlight how if you get an iced
coffee, leave it around for 12, 14 hours, outside the fridge, still ice.
Both key ways of measuring They Makin' Great Technology Cups. Probably
won't do it, but the first idea I've had in a long time of How I Can Make
Progress In Life is maybe apply to go to Grad School in Queens College for Media
Studies. I like media! Especially MULTImedia! Now you're
talkin' my language! Like anything else, though, its got the problem of
aww come on I need to put together an application and all that crap?
That sounds like Bullshit to me! One chink in the armor of Me Supporting
Bernie Sanders More Or Less 100% is the way they criticize the media in the
campaign. Because 90% of the time its probably warranted, but there is
that portion of the time where they lean too heavily on it. ONLY 90% ON
BOARD WITH 1 SPECIFIC ELEMENT OF THE CAMPAIGN? FUCK THIS WHY BOTHER.
Anyway, what else is going on. For example,
I didn't like the poll they reported on where they talked up Elizabeth Warren
without mentioning Sanders even though the poll showed Sanders was doing better
and the headline of the article was 100% WARREN'td. Took a
while to get there, but I did eventually, and that's what counts! The
sad thing is lunch no longer exists except as a memory and a promise of
things to come a whole long day from right now. Dammmit.
Anyway, jeez, crap and crap, writing an entry at least! I guess one more
paragraph to go after this one. Seems about right.
Dinner in about 4 hours. I canI can go that
long without a meal! I've done it a bunch of times in my past.
Speaking of bunches, tootsie pops, had one last night for the first time in a
while. It's Bunches because there's sometimes a Banana flavor.
I wonder what the COMPLETE dinner Kurt Cobain had in the song Sliver.
He mentions Mashed Potatoes, lets start with that, and then later in the
song mentions after dinner I had iced cream... But what was BETWEEN the
mashed potatoes and the Iced Cream? I dunno I guess nobody does for
sure. Oh he also mentions chewing meat. Well this
whole premise has fallen completely apart I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY. Great,
that's it! See you guys later for some reason.
October 20, 2019
I'm An Internet Journal
More or less I guess. Frankly,
there's just not a lot of competition. I'm runnin' way ahead of the pack
is the point. But the good news is I came up with a good title for a new song--
More Or Less I guess. At least a lyric, c'mon! I think A
Lyric should be impossible. Doesn't Lyric need to be at least a
couplet? One solitary line ain't no lyric! It could be lyricAL,
I'll grant you that. But you're never gonna be like hey dude check
out this lyric I wrote. Unlike all those times throughout my life I
went to dudes hey dudes check out these lyrics I wrote. Although, I
guess, in a way that's the Songs I've Written's primary function. The
point is I got Great Lunch going on right now and that's something that they can
never take away from me!
Anyway, just did a real Grown Upper Action by going Up into
the attic and adjusting four vents and stuff so they can provide Heat For Winter
as opposed to Air Conditioning For Summer. Because Winter Is Coming.
Which the voice in my head has assured me is a cultural reference that even
people like me who aren't aware of it would be aware of. I had a teacher
named Mrs. Winters in 6th grade English. I was always into being The Class
Clowner, but for that class, I had to do an oral presentation or something (on
the Middle Ages, I believe!) and I did it in the format of a talk show.
Like I was the host. And the show was called Jelly! I dunno
why. Just felt like a funny random thing.
I don't know if I did any schtick beyond calling it a strange
name. I don't remember working on any monologue or skits or anything.
And that seems like something I'd remember if I Did do it. I dunno
if I've ever eaten jelly in my life. Very possibly Never. Hey
great how's that working out for me. Well Lunch Is Over Now.
Rest in peace. Lunch was a mini-home-cooked Fast Foodathon.
We're talking 2 White Castle Hamburgers From Super Market. We're talking 5
chicken nuggets, no affiliation with fast food but still good, and we're talkin
10 tater tots, again, no official fast food affiliation but lending itself to
the overall ethos of the meal. Anyway. Making incremental progress
in re-watching OZ, The Sopranos, and The Wire. Right now The Wire has been
winning the Horse Race of which show I'm more invested in, and thus watch the
most of, day-by-day. I'm sure it'll go back and forth for as long as it
takes to get through all of 'em. Wow! Interesting! Gonna
take a break now!
[[[[Never Finished Entry]]]
October 19, 2019
Titles Should Mean
Something. But They Don't.
Hey I just cleaned up my room! Not sure
if that makes me an Adult or a Kid. It's an Adult Thing to keep your area
clean, that's just responsibilities. but it's a Kid Thing to be like Hey kid
gotta clean up your room! Mom and Dad would prefer it! The point
is I am Both Adult and Child At one but certainly NOT Neither at once. I
feel very strongly about this. What else do I feel strongly about.
Hmm, there's Lunch. That's about it. Well, there's also other
meals! Breakfast is awesome and dinner is not without its charms!
Snacks, nope, not a fan of. They only frustrate me! But meals, ok,
now you got my attention!
A Fancy Dinner Becomes An Even Fancier Lunch
Cracked that code. From now on I
will accompany every thought I have with Cracked that code! Either
preface it, or postface it. Hey Postface should be a word if Preface
gets to be one CRACKED THAT CODE! After all, what is language
but just a series of cracking codes of what you intend/what the other party
intends to mean. Cracked that c... alright I'll stop now.
Anyway, gonna use Microwave to Heat Up Fancier Lunch instead of oven. I
can't decide if that's More Fancy or Less Fancy. Obviously in general,
using the oven is more fancy. Takes longer and the technology is more
entrenched when it comes to Fine Dining. But maybe there's an element of
putting a Fancier Lunch into a less fancy that's like HOLY SHIT THIS GUY MUST BE
SUPER FANCIER IF HE'S MAKING FANCY STUFF IN THE VERY PEDESTRIAN, VERY COMMON,
NOT FANCY AT ALL CRAPROWAVE.
Jeez. I drank way too much yesterday. Both in
terms of that can't be healthy and also that'll make it tough to
portion out my alcohol supplies over time. I don't like how they make
it impossible to jig your microwave open while its on. C'mon I
wanna see what would happen if I microwaved myself! I've heard The
Science, but hey I'm a scientist Testing Things Out For Yourself is what
science is all about! So basically I'd be an idiot to know microwave a
certain part of my body-- preferably the part that I'd want to develop
superpowers...everyone knows Radiation either gives you superpowers or Cancer.
1 out of 2 odds ain't bad!
Hmm, what else is going on. 4th
paragraph. Figure I'll microwave some Fancier Lunch after the 5th.
HEY BUDDY WELCOME TO A DINER FOR LUNCH WITH YOUR LADY FRIEND HERE'S YOUR FRIENDS
MEAL NOW PLEASE FINALLY WHAT CAN I GET FOR YOU? Well I fancy
'er lunch. Can you hand it over to me? That's how life might
go in Nonsenseland. The point is maybe I shold have seen Bernie
Sanders do his farewell tour today but oh well. Wait, this isn't him
doing his final concert in Queens but in fact is, he's a politician, running for
president, and he's not gonna stop doing shows UNTIL HE'S ELECTED AND THEN
MAYBE EVEN AFTER HE'S ELECTED?!?! Also, no one really brought it
up, as far as I know, but isn't it kind of weird that Trump held rallies during
periods of his presidency where no election was imminent? Obviously his
election wasn't immanent, but he was doing rallies even when there weren't any
house races. Oh well that seems about right.
You know its odd, on Apple Music there's no mention of a
Bernie Sanders album in the Coming Soon section. Sanders has gotta
play an instrument, right? I can imagine him playing some nice folk songs
on guitar. Maybe team up with Bill Clinton on Sax, Tim Kaine on Harmonica,
and you got a Trio where 2 out of 3 of the instruments suck and 2 out of 3 of
the band members are underwhelming. Something along those lines.
I remember when I first knew of Elliott Smith, and even had him on my MP3
Player but before I actually listened to it, my conceptualizing of it was
hmm, acoustic guitar, eh? Sounds like COUNTRY music to me. So
the overall point is I operated a good part of my young life just thinking
Acoustic Guitar is Country Music. Dunno if I knew, "Folk," was a thing,
and just felt Elliott was more Country than Folk. I Don't Know A
Lot Of Stuff!
I like country music because its like hey you wanna be
a pop star or a rock star but your skill level isn't quite there? Hey
become a Country Star they love them some mediocrity as long as you spend 90%
of your creative and personal energy pandering to them! It's okay
for me to say it because I play acoustic guitar which by extension means
I Am A Country Music. Been roughly 3 days or so without Facebook.
I'm gettin' there! There's no way I can keep track of my Boo, nor have my
Ace-i-ness being constantly reinforced, but oh well, that's life!
Sometimes in life you SHOULDN'T be Keeping Non-Stop Track Of Your Boo and you
know what sometimes in life You're Not Much Of An Ace I HATE TO SAY IT.
I'm an Ace at all trades! So you're both the
best and the worst at everything? No, that's not accurate...
I'm a seven of all trades. Yeah that's about right. I was
thinking about What Year It Is and my first instinct was Oh it's 19.
Maybe that's a sad after-effect of being in the good ol' clean-century-wise
2000's for so long. I'm just starting to shorthand the year as NINETEEN.
Which means The Second Coming is either 19 years old, or maybe he died in
2000 and now we're without him. I dunno what the year Zero is supposed
to mean but Oh Well No Way Of Knowing. I like how in Armageddon: The Movie
they have 18 days to prepare to save the world and end up being successful, but
in Real Life we have had 30 or 40 years and we're just WELL I GUESS NOTHING
CAN BE DONE! Well that was no good attitude then, but fine, lets start
over. Start doing something... NOW! WHAT CAN I DO
NOTHING WE MUST BURN MORE OIL!
What else is going on. Eighth paragraph.
Still haven't started lunch but I will at some point Don't You Worry! Was
thinking about saving Fancier Lunch into a Somewhat-Fancier-Dinner (Because it's
2 Fancy Dinners in a row) and getting Halal Food for lunch but I dunno if I
finish Dinner for Lunch then I can start over completely with Tonight's Dinner
THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS EXCEPT THERE'S ONLY A PERMUTATION OF MAYBE
10-50,000 CHOICES FROM THE HALF DOZEN OR SO PLACES IT WOULDN'T BE OUT OF THE
ORDINARY FOR ME TO GET FOOD FROM. Hah. Permutation. That's
a funny word, so much so that I almost don't mind it being used slightly
Anyway, what the what is whattening on. Ninth
paragraph! OKAY XMEN YOU WILL EACH BE GIVEN ONE SUPERPOWER PER
MUTATION. Wow! What else is going on. One key
outcome of cleaning up my room was coming across Books That Still Need Reading.
Martin Short: The Book! Got a third or 4th way through and gave up!
I dunno why ITS PRETTY GOOD! Jeez. Do I need to have seen The
Three Amigos before reading the rest of this book? I'm concerned there
will be spoilers aplenty. Shouldn't the movie have been called either
Los Tres Amigos or The Three Friends? I don't get alternating between
languages within a 3 word title.
The good thing about putting food in the oven is its like
Oh you're gonna eat this food as soon as its done cooking. Not before, not
after. No two ways about it, you got one shot to eat this food at its
appropriate Cookedness. But microwaving it, I could eat it
NOW or in 5 minutes or NEVER WHO KNOWS TOO MANY OPTIONS. Figure I'll
eat it after this paragraph! It's Multiples of Fives Of Paragraphs On A
Nonsense Website! ...So, what's goin' on with you? How you liking the
color of this entry? Pretty halfway-deep blue. Could be lighter,
could be darker! But for the purposes of Text over a black background,
can't really be any darker, it'd be tough to read. Anyway.
The World Is Bigger Than Lunch
I dunno about that, I'ma have to check that
one out, I'll get back to ya. We're talking about Half a Baked Potato.
Half a serving of Stuffed Filet of Sole (It's stuffed with Crab Meat!) and I
dunno Some Size Piece of Steak AND a few pieces of Stewed Zucchini! I've
been using this Tabasco Sauce a lot lately. Gimme some heat I'm a Man I
can Handle it! I think I overheard my Dad and my Mom talking about, some
kid in my Dad's Community College class threatened him with physical violence!
I dunno how to feel about that. On the one hand it emasculated my Father
in the eyes of me that he was threatened public ally and could do nothing
immediate about it. But, on the other hand, THAT KID'S GONNA GET AN F AND
MAYBE EVEN KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL NOW WHOSE LAUGHING MOTHER FUCKER YOU STAY
AWAY FROM MY DAD he's got me in his corner!
Where did Back To The Future II get the idea that in
the future, you'd have really small pizzas, but then you microwave them, and
they become bigger? Was that based on any actual Futurist Technology
Experts? Or did they just come up with it on their own? Because
obviously it didn't pan out that way, but I hope at least they were basing it on
Something. Cause just to imagine that based on nothing and then telling us
This Is How Its Gonna Be-- very irresponsible! Check Minus!
Also, that thing where there's like a canopy above the dinner table where you
can pick fruit or vegetables-- totally unrealistic! As if an American
Family will regularly eat fruit and/or vegetables!
Anyway. Lunch is finished. Entry might as well be, too! See ya
October 18, 2019
Will There Be Laugh-Em-Ups
This Entry? It's Possible! I dunno... Maybe a Laugh-Em-UP
Hey great. (Not plural is the point).
Laugh Em Ups are the only thing that gets me through the hopeless haze.
That and Dreaming The The Who album has, "Dropped," in completion! True
story! Had a dream last night OH MAN ALL THESE SONGS ON ITUNES HAVE
GONE FROM GREY, SIGNIFYING WE CAN ONLY SEE THE TITLE BUT NOT LISTEN TO THE SONG,
TO ACTIVE I'M GONNA LISTEN TO THIS ALBUM! Turns out the only new
album I'm interested in was a Third Eye Blind album. Both start with T,
I can see how my unconscious mind can get confused. Is the word,
"The," count as bands starting with, "H?" Nope, probably not!
But for the purposes of the Bullshit-Em-Up, lets pretend it does!
II don't think Third Eye Blind gets enough credit as
being perhaps the first straight-forward-rock album I ever purchased. They
should be awarded a spot in the Rock N Roll Hall Of Records for that reason
alone! It's called The Mikey. Each year its awarded to a band
that I dunno just rubs me the right way! I figured out a
great Pulling A Matrix, taking a full (or almost full) 2 liter bottle of soda UP
TO MY ROOM to mix drinks with all day! No more going back and forth, up
and down, left to right, North To south, Up in the air, down underground...
Lets just cut out the middlemen in life, right? Lets Make Drinking the
simplest thing in the word. Anyway. I wonder how Post-The-Wire
Baltimore is going. You'd gotta admit it had some effect on the city,
right? Sorta offers them a chance for a Do Over. Hey the
education system and political system and law enforcement system and drugs and
violence gangs and the press and the unions and dock workers... the point is
WE'VE BEEN FUCKING SHIT UP NOW ITS TIME TO TURN IT AROUND!
Maybe, right? The Wire was a pretty big
Cultural Thingamajig, and Baltimore can use some cultural capital! Their
last guy was Edgar Allen Poe, right? He's from Baltimore. Nobel
Prize in Poetry, please. Here's an anecdote we can all relate to-- in
my house, there is a kitchen, and in that kitchen there is a cupboard, and in
that cupboard there are several kinds of glasses. For Drinks Type Glasses.
There's 2 main kinds that make up about 80% of the glasses by themselves.
They're the same Brand of Glasses. But one is taller and another one is
significantly shorter. However, the shorter one is, or it seemed to
be, just slightly wider. But certainly not wide enough to make it
essentially able to hold as much Drink as the bigger one-- Right? You'd
think so, right? Gotta Be Right!
NO! YOU'RE WAY WRONG! It's an
optical allusion (Note to self-- figure out pun with the phrase, "Optical
Allusion," later on in entry), each glass actually holds about the same amount.
TThe point is it could be in the introduction to a segment of Beyond Belief.
Jonathon Frakes is like look at these two glasses. Looks like this one
can hold like 2 times as much as the smaller one, right? Lemme show you
somethin shut up take a look, I'ma pou some water into the big one... see, it's
full now, now watch me pour it from the big one into the smaller one-- AND IT
ALL FITS HOW DID THIS HAPPEN WILL SOMEONE EXPLAIN IT PROBABLY NOT BUT ANYWAY
CHECK OUT THIS EXTREMELY CRAPPY RIP OFF OF Twilight Zone type Shows!
I once titled a music album The Sunset Time.
I thought that was pretty clever. Fifth paragraph. Figure I'll take
a break after this one. Have lunch in about 1, 1 and a half hours.
Anyway. Do you think Trump has ever, in being president for 2 and a half
years, ever had a thought well if I do This One Thing that might be good for
America as a whole. Once? Just once, that's all I'm asking.
And not just for the 35-50% of his supporters, that he's going out of his
way to satisfy them. That it benefits them. Just ONE SIGNIFICANT
THING that was totally altruistic. I unno, I don't think so, that'd be
my guess. He cares a lot more of being altruistic to Foriegn Enemies
than he does America. That's not an insight-em-up as much as its..
well.. is there a word for frustrating that means frustrating but exponentially
more frustrating than the word, "Frustrating," usually implies? I
dunno. Maybe even beyond the realm of Frustrating and into a Whole Other
Sphere where its like This sucks so much I MUST ACT ON IT OR AT LEAST SPEAK
OUT AGAINST IT, IF I AM SILENT AND NOT RESISTANT TO IT MY GOOD NAME WILL BE
BESMIRCHED AND YOU GUYS KNOW HOW MUCH I CARE ABOUT MY GOOD NAME!
Which Mortal Kombat Character Are You?
The title was inspired by me looking at my
shadow during every walk over the past few weeks with my sweatshirt jacket
hoodie on. So Yeah I'm Definitely a Raiden! Also, throughout high
school (Except for freshman year, because it wasn't out yet) I always had the
line in my back pocket for Halloween was I'mI'm Eminem. Cause I
wore a grey sweatshirt jacket like he does in that there movie!
Unfortunately no one ever talked to me so In The Back Pocket That Remains!
Until another day, I guess. It can still happen at some point over the
rest of my life. But then it'll actually make sense as a Halloween Dress-em-up
because it'll be like oh woah that's a weird retro or cult movie or something
Anyway Yeah I'm Eating Lunch get off my back about it.
We're talkin' half a baked knish. We're talking half a EXTRA LEAN cornbeed
sandwich. They really make ya beg for it in the menu. EXTRA lean
they say. You try to order, go, Yeah can I get a lean cornbeef
sandwich? That's Not Good Enough! They're gonna go, Yep, we
don't have that. You wanna be more clear? C'mon buddy tell me what
kind of sandwich you want! The point is none of that happened
because I ordered it online. But I had to put in Extra Lean Cornbeed IN
THE FORM and that's bad enough!
iI remember when I was a kid Corn Beef Sandwich
seemed so sophisticated. I would sit on the floor as the adults ate corned
beef sandwiches and talk about the issues of the day. Sometimes one would
give me a shiny new dime and be like start savin', you're gonna want a corned
beef sandwich yourself one day Dunno what any of this means or
accomplishes. But the point is I'm gonna write a 5 paragraph block, then
take a break, and try to write another 5 paragraph block. I like
how Turkey essentially pulled a What Trillion Dollars on Trump.
Simpsons reference! They're in Cuba with a trillion dollar bill, they're
meeting with Castro, and he's like can I see it? and after some
hesitation, they give it to him, and they're like ok hand it back now and
he's like hand what back. Cause Trump just gifted Turkey Their
Wildest Geo-politcal dreams and then they shit on his letter and spit on his
face. The point is HE GOT PLAYED BUT DON'T LUMP THE REST OF US IN WITH HIM
HE DOESN'T SPEAK FOR US ON ACCOUNT OF ALL THOSE FOREIGN POLICY CRIMES!
Hey here's this gift. OH YEAH, GREAT THANKS! ALSO WHAT GIFT
DUMBASS FUCK YOU.
I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm
free. Yeah You got that right Turkey be fuckin' you for free!
I wonder how The Young Turks are going to address this situation. They
gotta make some sort of statement distancing themselves from Turkey, right?
Alos, there was a guy named Turk the 2nd out of 2 times I did mushrooms.
Is he involved in this somehow? Cause, if so, seemed like an ok guy
maybe he wants to do some genocide or ethnic cleansing I dunno Not My Problem!
Hey here's a real interesting thing that's relevant to everyone and kind of
a big deal in everyone's life-- On on the internet, there is a personality quiz.
On this personality quiz, the premise is whatever song was #1 on the charts
during your 14th birthday is, like, emblamatic of who you turn out to be, or
something like that. Which for me was Lose Yourself by Eminem.
Hmm how do I lose myself. Kinda makes me picture a dog chasing his own
Cause the tail is trying to lose itself from the dog?
That's the only way it makes sense. Otherwise, the most logical way to
definte it is trying to find yourself. The Dog's Head and Sensory
Center is trying to get in touch with its butt. And the butts the one
trying to escape (Or "Lose," Itself)! None of this was addressed on the
Personality Quiz Website but oh well. I like that Myeers-Briggs
personality test that's supposed to be like oh this actually is pretty
scientifically sound. I like it because I've probably taken it a dozen
times in my life and always get a different answer. Is that On Me or On
The Test? Maybe the test isn't as good as people say, or maybe, I'M
INSANE. Alright Break Time! Maybe I'm just constantly GROWING
as a person, you ever thought of that? Get off my back Personality Quizzes
You Ain't Got Nothin' For Me!
No I'm In a Cheez Flavored Cracker Loop
TI'm happy to report that I've Never Had a
Cheeto Not Even Once In My Life. I get that it's got a good reputation as
a cliché, go-to unhealthy snack-- seems disgusting to me! Hmm. crazy
Sheet. At Ceez R Shy . Anagram! Hmm. At Ceez R Shy.
@CesarChavez! FINALLY ALL THE PIECES ARE STARTING TO COME TOGETHER!
My name is a secret code for Cesar Chavez' twitter feed. Ya know I always
KIND OF knew it but now its been confirmed! aNYWANYWAY. Looks
like Adebsi is getting Kenny (or "Bricks," as he'd like to be known) to testify
against Tim McManus that he innapropriately touched him-- sexually! I
woner how this ones gonna turn out!
My favorite Secret Code is probably in the movie Troll II
where the town they're in is called Nilbog. And there's a big
reveal 3/4ths into the movie when a kid sees a sign with the towns name THROUGH
THE MIRROR AND IT SAYS GOBLIN HOLY SHIT GET OUT OF THE WAY THAT
AIN'T NO GOOD! That ain't good but life has been okay lately.
Not a lot going on, but, hey, Not a Lot Going On News is Good News.
Doctor Sleep, eh? Doesn't sound like a very good doctor to me. I
mean, even when I was having MY sleep study, I still would wnat a doctor to be
awake for that! There should be one person sleeping in medical tests and
His Name Is Me!
Jeez. A few episodes ago Adebisi purposely infected his
friend (OR SO HE THOUGHT) with AIDS. I wonder why that doesn't happen more
often! Especially since it's been glamorized by Hollywood thusly as it is
and whatnot. If I was a doctor ... ehh this joke is gonna suck. Also
you have to know ahead of time there's a pharmacy in my neighborhood RiteAid.
So ok the doctor needs to tell you you've got AIDS but he doesn't have it in him
to say it. So he's like I want you to go here for your medication...
also.. the title.. OASHC FUCK I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T WANT TO CONTINUE THIS JOKE!
Fine, he's like, JUST ADD, "S," TO THE NAME OF TE PHARMYCY THEN YOU'LL GET
WHAT I"m TALKING ABOUT. I gotta stop completely after that--
always go out on top! See ya later.
October 17, 2019
Maybe This Entry Will Be
HOLY CRAP a triple Slant Rhyme within seven
words!?!? That almost makes up for All The Shittiness of Life! I
like Trump hosting the G7 at a Trump Property. I'm assuming his motivation
is holy shit they got me for all this other stuff-- maybe if I commit some
more crimes, crimes that my supporters would judge me less about, then it'll
erase those past primes that are incredibly un-defendable! Cause I can
see some Republicans being like hmm this using American Foreign Policy to
serve your own self seems pretty wrong. But then when its like The
President is hosting an event at his property! they'll be like hmm good
businessman Makes Sense To Me Good For You! And Yeah They're Too Dumb
to see that the two are pretty much similar crimes.
Anyway, what else is going on. G7 is what I say when
someone asks how big my crap is. Hmm I've been upfront about everything else,
might as well Go There Too! Also, what else is going on. G7 is
what I say when someone asks me what's one of they key chords in Elliott
Smith's No Name No. 3? Shows Shows up in a lot of songs, sure,
but for some reason that's the first one that came to mind. Got a new 1.75
ml bottle of alcohol yesterday, timed it out perfectly, got Credit Card Bill
today, obviously without yesterday's purchase! Also, yesterday, pretty
much did Drink To GEt Drunk! It was fun and I hope to do it again some day
Maybe Even Today What Like I Got Something Better To Do! I've always felt,
as a hypothetical, that I would take 2 inches off my Crap if I could add it to
my HeightCrap. I'd make that trade, sure!
Doesn't work that way. I mean, I can always cut
off the top 2 inches and just staple it to my forehead, but not exactly sure
what that would accomplish. Anyway, had Chipotle Last Night. Having
a 2nd Burrito Bowl Right Now! Then its back to Something New for dinner
tonight. Hey My Crap is on the higher end of average BOW DOWN BEFORE
ME! Something like that, sure, I dunno. Frankly, kinda
surprised I didn't, "Go There," before. Anyway. Now you know
why I taped myself masturbating when I was 14 or 15! Because I knew
I'd have a wife one day and I'd be like Hey check this out This Was For You
When I Still Didn't Know You And In The Peak Of My Sexual Peakiness.
And then my wife is like HEY A 14 YEAR OLD MASTURBATING... Well Done!
That's how life would possibly go, I thought. In the end, is it
that different than using Creativity-Works to get girls? Hey check out
this song [music-masturbating] from years ago, do you like it? Or
Hey check out these jokes from years ago, do you like it? I just skip
the middle man! Hey check out this dick and how I related to it years
ago, do you like it?
Wonderful, just wonderful! 4th paragraph.
Hey this is a 14 year old rapping The Real Slim Shady, do you like it?
Dunno why I have to even ask, of course you do! HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THIS
KID SINGING SONG RIPPING RAP HE'S GOT IT GOING ON! That's you.
Anyway, maybe take a break after 5th paragraph. Anyway. It's 10/17.
That's, I think, exactly a month from the day I lost my virginity (DIFFERENT
YEAR THO, C'MON). The pint is this entry will be one large My Crap
overshare. The point is Every Day I start out thinking okay if I could
just get back to eating maintence calories every day, not gaining any more
weight from here on, I'm satisfied with where I'm at. And every day I
gain anywhere from 1/8th to 1/3rd of a pound, but I still start out the next day
going FINE THIS IS WHERE I DRAW THE LINE THOUGH. You know what
happens when a guy gains weight though, right? STRAIGHT TO THE PENIS.
I remember The Penis Game, all the way
back to the first week of Stuyvesant. Strange new school, I know no one,
just getting acclimated to being in the city, so much going on! And in
music appreciation. people would play The Penis Game. I didn't know it was
a game at first. But I've learnt, it's a game, where the participants just shout
of PENIS! and, the game is, each person has to say it louder than the
last person to win. To me, it was just yelling PENIS a lot and I
gotta say I started wondering what have I gotten myself into?
Then to top it all off I didn't wanna be in chorus but teacher said I WAS NO
GOOD for chorus! Anyway. I remember when I first started
Stuyvesant, I was in my Man I Wanna Be A Screenwriter phase, and felt
like it would be a Cool Thing To Do to work on a screenplay during lunch breaks.
Made Some Real Great Notes for a potential screenplay! Essentially it
was about The Future. Earth is inhabitable now, Humans live in Space, but
2 Humans From Space Must Return Back To The Earth to find Love.
Something like that. HMM BETTER MAIL THAT LOGLINE TO MYSELF AND NOT
Jeez. That lasted about 2 Lunches. After
that I started going to McDonalds alone each lunch because hey as long as I'm
alone might as well be eating some McDonalds. Anyway, what else is
going on. How did they settle on the name McDonalds. And
also, for a clown, Ronald McDonald is kind of underwhelming. I know he's
dressed up as a clown but he doesn't really do much clowning around. In
fact, the main time he's up and about in public he's doing stuff for Charity
Kids or something. Not Funny At All! Anyway, sixth paragraph, gonna
take a break now, return a little bit later (and a little Drunker later!) to
write some more.
A Little Bit Later, Huh?
news is.. well I dunno if there's any good news. The bad news is...
eatin' a bunch of Cheez-Its. It's REDUCED FAT Cheez-Its gimme a
break! That means that the more you eat, the more it reduces your fat!
That's how language works, duh! I once read in food where they say
Reduced Fat it's always compensated by Adding Salt. Not so much
Reading It Somewhere as much as My Dad Telling Me He Read That Somewhere
SPECIFICALLY About Wheat Thins. I decided to lend credibility to his
statement by me saying I read it myself, as well as extrapolating Just Wheat
Thins to all Reduced Fat Snacks. The point i there was a brief
period of time where I would get Cheese Nips. VERY Brief.
Great. Anyway. My heart goes out to the
actress who played Meadow Soprano because I hardly know her name (Jamie Lynn
Siegler?) and she has a VERY LOW twitter following on twitter. And, now
that I haven't used Facebook in 48 hours, I take the Social Media aspect
of Twitter exponentially more serious! Also, how's Facebook doing?
Now that I cancelled my account for the most part, they still doin' okay?
What about my Facebook Friends in particular? Are they still alive?
Talkin' to each other? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH MY FACEBOOK
FRIENDS DEAR GOD JUST GIVE ME A SIGN THAT THEY'RE DOING ALRIGHT!
Cool. Here's how language should work-- Face
Book. FUCK. F You Ace, See Boo, K. And it means
hey buddy you're an ace, browse this thing to See your Boo. Ima
crack all the codes! Even the ones that don't exist until I crack 'em!
That'll show 'em, that'll show all of 'em! Another way to think about
G7 Summit is that Trump has begun the pivot away from PresidentLife to
PrivateCitizenLife. Makes sense to me! But not enough sense that I
can accurately convey why it makes sense to me and who knows perhaps maybe even
inspire you to have it make sense to you! Such is life!
Last paragraph I guess. How's that workin' out for me.
I dunno yet still remains to be seen. Which is what they should call
Wakes from now on. Hmm, speaking of Wakes, I should rematch some Tales
From the Crypt. Wakes are like a Living Crypt. Huh.
Anyway, what else is going on. Dinner in about 3 hours. I think I
can survive on a No Cheez-It (or anything else) diet for 3 hours.
Probably, we'll see! Jeez. back to watching an alternating line up
of Old HBO shows. We got The Sopranos. We're talkin' Oz. Some
The Wire will be occurring. Maybe even some Mr. Show on the docket.
Fascinating. I'll see ya'll later. Sorry About My Dick
October 16, 2019
God Damn Nice Title!
Sorta an LL COOL J situation there.
Where The Title has as part of it a comment on the Title Part Of The Title.
If ladies loved him so much, why was he so compelled to tell everyone about it
as part of the first 2 words he's about? Me thinks Cool J has some
sort of complex where he constantly needs others to be aware that ladies love
him! The point is I got me some Vegeterian Brick Oven Pizza + ADDED SOME
EGG WHITES ONTO THAT SHIT. Eggs are pavre, get off my back about that
Some sort of Election Debate happened last night.
I'm 3 for 3 or 4 for 4 in terms of watching the first half, getting bored,
turning it off. I was just thinking (No I Wasn't) of that story we all
heard from a couple years back where the government decided school lunch pizza
counts as a vegetable Because Of Tomato Sauce. And I think our collective
reaction was HAH BEUROCRACY THAT'S CRAZY, OR MAYBE TO SAVE MONEY CAUSE
VEGETABLES COST MORE? WHO KNOWS BUT THAT'S WACKY. Now, I see the
malice. Someone at the top of the government signed off on this because
they were like yeah the health of these children doesn't matter to me.
They're 'Public School' children, I mean. Poor people and I can imagine a
majority of them being minorities! Fuck them and their health, eat some
Sure, why not. Of course, after that news break,
fifth grades were high filing each other all over the place. WERE KIDS
WE LOVE PIZZA LETS TALK ABOUT IT. That's what 5th graders think, they
can't get enough of this stuff (Pizza)! Also, kids LOVE to high five.
Fuckin' pizza for lunch. Probably Chipotle for dinner. If I could
go back/forward in time, I'd be high fiving my 19 year old self all over the
place about this diet. The only thing that's missing is the
whiskey. Hmm that's a good idea I'll get some whiskey. I miss
the freedom of not giving a shit about calories when you're drinking. You
just drink to get as drunk as possible. Ya drink, YA DRINK SOME MORE, KEEP
DRINKING WOW THIS HAS BEEN A LOT OF DRINKING EVEN MORE DRINKING NOW.
Really makes ya feel like you've accomplished something.
I can't tell you exactly why, but I started watching OZ
again. You know, that American Pie spin-off which is focused on the 5th
lead chacracter of that 4-star movie. I wonder how Eugene Levy feels
about being part of that franchise. Oh well, no way of ever knowing.
HBO film about Al Franken's Gropestravaaganz where Eugene Levy plays Al
Franken. WHY Al Franken is a comedian/comic actor himself!!!
Yeah but too close to the source material. That actually sounds
like a great project. HBO Presents: Al Franken as Al Franken in Al
Franken's Gropestravagnzas. I think we'd all learn a lot, we'd all
laugh a lot, and, who knows we may even grow and help lift each other up as
people but not by the ass that's inappropriate.
Jeez. Also kids don't need to drink milk cartons
anymore on account of all that calcium in Pizza Cheese. Fifth paragraph!
Jeez. The Coinkidink of it all is that I just got vegetarian pizza.
Which has vegetable RIGHT IN THE NAME. (Accurately-- had a bunch of legit
vegetables as toppings). I saw they made a spin off of Breaking Bad!
YOU'RE ABOUT FIVE YEARS TOO LATE FOR ME SORRY. Other people seem to be
enjoying it without a problem. YEAH OTHER PPL AIN'T ME BUDDY I SAID
I'M OVER THE WHOLE FRANCHISE AND I MEAN IT. Oh well. The
point is putting Egg White pieces on pizza, specifically combined with Veggie
Toppings? KinKinda worked out even better than I had hoped.
II thought it would be a decent way to pad out the slices, make 'em a little
hearty. But the truth is it really fit in with the whole thing pretty
well! I'm gonna write a letter to ALL my local pizzerias to let them
know about this JUST AS SOON AS I COPYWRITE IT BY MAILING THE RECIPE
TO MYSELF IN THE MAIL AND NOT OPENING IT FOR PROOF I HEARD ONCE THAT'S A
GOOD WAY TO DO THINGS.
Okay what else is going on. II just spent
15 seconds thinking about hmm any puns worth making with the word, "Copywrite?"
I know that doesn't seem like a lot, but count to 15 yourself. 1...2...
for that length of time I was like OKAY COPY WRITE, YOU WANNA BE A WRITER,
COPY WRITE, COPY WRIGHT OK DAVID WRIGHT FROM BASEBALL OK U WANNA BE A THIRD
BASEMAN COPY WRIGHT... Anyway, just adjusted my chair-seat so that it's
up higher half a foot or so. And the important part is what went through
my mind-- OH OH WE'RE HALFWAY THERE, OH OH SITTING ON A CHAIR!
Apparently The Nationals will be representing The National League in the
World Series. Jeez certainly stinks of collusion. The Nationals
winning The National League? What kind of fools do you take us for?!?
I'm not 100% sure on why it's Breast Cancer Awareness
Month. I was kind of aware of it even without the month. And,
if you wanna remind me, once is fine. We could have Breast Cancer
Awareness Day. A month? Now you're just upsetting
people, bothering them for no reason. Also, I'm pro-choice, which I
believe means if women want to have breast cancer its their body I'm not
gonna get involved! Seventh paragraph or some such nonsense.
Anyway, fine, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month! Just Payin' It
Forward by letting you know. So, you know, if you have breasts, get them
checked out! Just not by the, "FBI," ITS A SCAM! Also,
guys! Guys can get breast cancer too! Good motivation to lose
some weight, the less big your breast area is the less likely it is you'll get
cancer there. That's just science.
Maybe get a non-Chipotle, non-Subway fast-food. You
know like a REGULAR Fastfood. Been a while, but hey lets go nuts
celebrate this breast cancer awareness month in some style, right?!?
Hey is your refrigerator running? IT SURE IS! WHY DO YOU ASK?
TALK ABOUT FASTFOOD! YEAH NO YOU MISUNDERSTOOD ME I MEANT IT'S ON,
NOT THAT IT WAS PHYSICALLY RUNNING LIKE THEY DO FOR SPORT IN THE FUTURE OF THE
OLD WEST! The point is its more or less Back To The Future Week but you
won't be hearing any Awareness of that! Jeez, what else is
going on and crap. I guess, I dunno.
2 more paragraphs to get to 10. Then No More Paragraphs
To Eventually Get To The Next Entry At Some Point. Hey I can make my own
Fast Food! Got Frozen White Castle Hamburgers (2), Frozen Tater Tots
(anywhere from 8-20), Frozen Chicken Nuggetss (4-6 or so! Plus, it's a
one-off thing! I'm not committing to getting enough for 2.5 or 3 meals!
Talk about Pulling A Matrix. Tao to someone well versed in math, IT
MEANS SOMETHING TEHRE. The only thing I vaguely remember about Matrices,
and I may even be confusing it with something else, which is that Graphing
Calculators allowed you to store numbers and stuff in Matrices Calculations, so
you get a friend who took a math test the period before you, he loads up the
answers to the test in that section, boom you got your cheating on Now All You
Need Is A Friend!
Yeah, I had a friend who helped me with my high school
math, his name was MY DAD. Well, that's not really his name.
It's what I call him. Brother called him that, too, which seems like it
would be crossing some threshold when validates and vindicates and velocorates
that being his name. Ya know what I just realized? My Dad and Mom
are the coolest people I know. By Default, and everything, but still!
Any adjective you can possibly use to describe people, THEY'RE IT for me.
Anyway, jeez. Entry is just about done. I'll see you guys later.
October 15, 2019
One Title Leads To
The point is I got the entry pregnant.
Whattado, whattado. Finally got into a good HeadSpace to listen to The New
New Pornographers Album! Man I like a clear majority of those songs!
We're talkin' like 9, 10 out of 11! Anyway. Why was 8 afraid
of 9? Because NINE ELEVEN. makes sense to me,
gotta be careful around Nine Elevens. I feel like NYC hasn't been All That
NYC can be lately. For every AOC, there's a DJT. For every ME,
there's a Rudy Giuliani. That covers about 4 people out of, I dunno,
Eleven? There's 11 people who are either from New York or
currently live in New York? Who else is there. Lin Manuel Miranda.
The rest of my family. Now that gets us up to eight. I
dunno I gotta think about this.
Jeez. Went to supermarket earlier today. They
have a trio of Recycling machines-- bottles, cans, and glass. Tried to put
my glass beer bottles into one fo them (THE CORRECT ONE) but it would accept it!
Gave 2 different meanings on the Digital Screen, too, which makes me think it
just didn't wanna help me at that particular time. First time it said
Unable to read bottle. Then the second time it said Bottle Was Not
Purchased Here or something. Then the third time back to the first
reason. C'mon machine get your story straight otherwise I'd be
justified in presuming some sort of bias against me. Something along
those lines, I guess, what else. I finally bought a new nail clipper from
Drug Store! Oh boy have I been having fun with that. A nail
clipper, to someone who bites their nails, that's about as fun an adult can have
manually! Well, except for that other thing. yea yea ya'll know
what I mean.
PLAYING GAME GEAR!!! I remember at the tail end of
my Marijuana Consuming Career, one of the places I hid my surplus marijuana (ya
know, like a full gram at most?) was in the Battery Section of an old GameBoy
Color. I'd like to see you find THERE what are the odds my parents will
go into my room, open up a drawer, decide to open up The Battery Section and go
HOLY SHIT I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! Anyway, that did correspond to
them finding out I smoked weed because I'm an idiot. I had one of those
cheap pipes that looks like a cigarette. You put some weed in at the tip,
light it up, you can do it outside because unless they're looking hard, just
looks like a cigarette. But its also good if you wanna smoke very little
at time. Anyway, I left my room and was talking to my parents from
Upstairs to Downstairs and I didn't take into account maybe my Mom Will Be
Looking At Me While We're Talking. So she was like what's that
and I Told Her Because MICHAEL'S AN HONEST MAN.
Hey, great, what else. Fourth paragraph. Figure
I'll start lunch after 5th. Remember when Rudy Giuliani was America's
Mayor? I think we should re-gift that title to John Mayer. Only
seems fair! I'm not a fan of his music but he's committed far less
treason-corruption AS FAR AS I KNOW. I took one solid step towards Getting
Off Facebook. Logged out on my phone. Which means I'd have to
motivate myself hardcore to actually undo-the-logging out! So the next
step is Log Out On Computer. Then, the ultimate step, formally De-active
Account. I figure its a good idea because I don't need this at all.
Sweet. The point is if you rely on Facebook Status
Updates Of Mine to know when there's a new entry and to just remind you that
there are new entries from time to time that you should check out-- hey man you
gotta adjust somehow. Put it in your bookmarks or somethin', I dunno!
Lin Manuel Miranda sounds like an entire name made up of Different Sex In The
City Characters. Miranda, that's one in real life. Lin? Could
be, sure. Manuel? First transgender Sex And The Cittier! Could
be, why not? I've known people with the last name Lin. Well, Know Of. They were my peers is the point. I feel
very strongly about this!
I know very, very little about Sex & The City but that
doesn't stop me from being offended by it! I know the main love interest
is called Mr. Big and all the ladies love him because he's presumably a
Big Guy. Hey Fuck U And How Dare You Is The Point! Where do
you get off getting off wherever you want. If LL COOL J is
Ladies Love Cool J, then it would stand to reason that he just refers to
himself as Cool J. Referring to yourself by including a
qualification of who you are rather than just to identify who you are, just
seems like some weird abuse or misuse or something of the way language works.
Anyway. Must have talked about this before, Way Back When I thought of it,
but I think it would be cool to write a musical-comedy (Play) about Mental
Illness Guy being admitted into hospital. It would be therapeutic for Me
and You and I'd get to show off all my Skills (And Mental Illnesses!)
Thought of that just now because of thinking of LMR. The point is,
though, I REFUSE TO EVER DO ANYTHING AGAIN OTHER THAN THIS WITHOUT A WRITING
PARTNER. I feel very strongly about that.
Anyway, jeez. 7th paragraph. Still haven't
started lunch! I'll get to it, don't you worry! That content/way to
make content entertaining would pretty much be exactly in my wheelhouse.
Also, wheelhouse? I think you're using it wrong. Wheel
ain't house. House ain't wheel. Lets talk about it. In
IIn Queens College, I took 2 or 3 classes where I had to write plays, and
my favorite one is still the 1st one I wrote, called Cart People.
And it's about 2 people with Breakfast carts right next to each other on a city
street. And they've got a real charming love/hate relationship with each
other. Makes me laugh! Presumably there's jokes, too.
Oh man I was already laughing at the premise Now You're Telling Me There's Jokes
The point is if it weren't for Columbia Record House I'd
never have seen the original straight-up sequel to Texas Chainsaw Massacre
stalling Dennis Hopper. I don't know how I Got To That Point but it is
pretty salient. Plus, I googled salient to see if I was using
it right (close enough!) and now I know more knowledge! This paragraph has
been tops! Anyway the other point is I hadn't gotten gum in a month
or 2 But Now I have! Democratic Debate tonight. I'm rooting for All
Of Them! Unless if 3/4ths through we suddenly hear the Stone
Cold music (CRASH! duh nuh du nu nu nu) and Stone Cold Steve Austin
quickly meanders his way up to the stage and stone cold stuns each candidate one
by one! Then I'm voting for whoever was successfully able to
counter his Stone Cold Stunner and perform their own finishing move and either
pin Stone Cold or get him to tap out in submission.
You thought I was gonna say I would want Stone Cold to
win, right? Nope! He's there primarily to show us whose got the
testicular fortitude to take on Stone Cold. I
find it odd that I'm okay with Peach Flavored drinks (Snapple, iced tea,
vodka...) but would never for the life of me eat a Peach. Unless we're
using it as a metaphor for... well.. yea ya we know...
IMPEACHMENT I'D EAT THAT CRAP DAY AND NIGHT. Can we add Trump's
handling of SyriaTurkKurdGate as an impeachable offense? I dunno,
probably. Possibly not, though! I don't have all the answers.
I do look back fondly on taking American Government in Stuyvesant, though.
Lots of reasons! One, it was 2nd term senior year, so there's no pressure
of my grade being included into Getting Into Good College nonsense narrative.
Two, by that time, I was slightly less socially awkward and madesome
friends. Three, SOME OF THEM FRIENDS WAS FEMALE YEAAAAH BOY.
Four, hey American Government this is interesting stuff Also At This Point In My
Life Strongly Leaning Towards Becoming A History Teacher.
The point is I forget but there was a point in there
somewhere lets do a Where's Waldo and find it! 10th paragraph,
guess. Looks like there's no new SNL this week. Oh well, guess it's on
me tto lead us through the smoke this week! Huh so in my
imagination I'm as culturally relevant, and in a vaguely similar way, as
Saturday Night Live? NOPE I DON'T IMAGINE THAT I JUST VAGUELY PRETEND
IT BIG DIFFERENCE. I don't consider it to be true, I just have a
good time pretending its true for some reason-- good motivation to write this
crap! I know it means nothing, and is read by hardly anyone, but just
pretending its relevant in someway Keeps The Words Flowin'.
Hey Remember when Mike took AP GOVERNMENT 13 years ago?!
THIS IS RELEVANT TO ALL OF US AT THIS SPECIFIC MOMENT IN TIME! I don't
make the rules, I don't break the rules. I feel like there should be a
3rd option to that phrase-- I don't IGNORE the rules. Cause I think
that's the standard Our Government is operating under. It's not so much
breaking the rules as it is just operating as if rules don't exist to
them. That explains Trump breaking the law a lot, I think. And
why he's so comfortable admitting/perpetrating his crimes in broad daylight.
Hey there might be some rules theoretically for other people but I'm Just Gonna
Keep Doin' What I want, maybe it's legal sometimes, maybe sometimes it isn't.
What's the difference. Something along those lines, right?
Anyway, what else is crap. 12th paragraph! Still
havn't started lunch. I don't make the lunch, I don't break the lunch.
I DO consume the lunch. That's a pretty constant behavior in terms of my
relationship to Lunches. For some reason, in The Uppers songs, I
mention lunch a lot. I dunno why exactly, but oh well, what can ya
do. HEY CHECK THIS CONNECTION OUT I JUST MADE AN HOUR AGO-- The
Sopranos... The SOAP- ranos. CAUSE ITS LIKE AN ADULT SOAP OPERA. SOAP
rahnos(I dunno what the 2nd half means but I'll figure it out don't you worry!
Also figured out The Wire. THE, "WHY 'ER?" You know like in
Arrested Development when they make fun of Michael Cera's character for being
interested in the characre Ann because she's presumably very plain? The
Why 'ER? GIVE ME ALL THE CODES I WILL CRACK THEM ONE BY ONE.
Cool! I dunno. I feel Wrong for not
being into any rap since I was 12. I mean, there's a lot of rap out there.
I'm sure a lot of it would get me interested. I'll dive into that pool at
some point. But right now, I dunno. Those sentences brought to
you by looking up the next SNL host-- Chance The Rapper. Cool!
Maybe I'm just holding a grudge that The Mad Dawgs and by extension,
me, Big/Lil' Mak [depending on how I felt at the time] never made it!
WE HAD SO MUCH GOING FOR US! WE EACH PRESUMABLY WROTE SEVERAL LYRICS AND
ALMOST HAD THE COURAGE DO GO INTO A BATHROOM INDIVIDUALLY TO RECORD US GOING
BUT THE SITUATION WAS JUST WRONG WE COULDN'T DO IT MAYBE NEXT TIME.
Such is life. I think at the time, I went with
Lil Mak because I figured Rap Names have to be accurate. Looking back,
though, I'd go with Big Mak. Because I'm like Mr. Big Ladies Love Cool Me.
And it's a fun reverse-em-up! Also, refer to myself as Mak Daddy a lot,
that's good. (oh i should clarify "MAK"-- its my initials.
M*****L A**M K******m. And And as for Big/Lil? I'm
significantly short! So calling attention to my bigness, whether its
accurate or a reverse-em-up, is relevant. Getta load of that bullshit!
14th paragraph, still no lunch! Did a bit of drinking though!
Alcohol! Live Life On The Edge!
What else is stupid and is gonna come out of my mouthhole
through my fingerfings onto webbysite. Jeez. MusicComedyPlay
starts off with a guy seeing his psychiatrist. DON'T WANNA GIVE TOO
MUCH AWAY BUT ITS HILARIOUS AND PRESUMABLY THERE'S MUSIC TO IT!!!!
Sweet. I was thinking about it (No I wasn't) but the phrase when they
go low, we go high! is a little inaccurate. It's more like, when
they go low, leave em some space to go even lower!
Then just repeat this process several times until how low they have gone
is beyond all reason, see where that gets us! Alright gonna take a
walk. Write a bit more when I get back. See ya soon!
I Wonder What Will Happen This Time Around In The Wire
Maybe that's the future of entertainment.
Never the same thing twice! Choose your own adventures! Sounds like
fun in the short term, but one of the great things about movies is the cultural
touchstone aspect. You can talk about The Movie with friends and peers
without thinking oh they didn't see the same movie as me. The The
point is Choose Your Own Adenvute Movies/TV may seem like a good idea At
First but so much of what we get out of Movies and TV is predicated on other
people seeing that same crap we just did! Anyway, took a 2/3rds of what
I'd normally do Walk. Started up my Lunch just now! Later than
usual, but worth the wait!
Anyway, when I was a freshman in NYU, I had a meal plan-- was
either Unlimitted or enough that I could have 2 meals a day over the semester
and it'd be covered. But I still ate at lesat 1/2 of my meals Elsewhre
With Cash. Standard lunch then was Space Market.
This deli/connivance store right on Washington Square Park, in the thick of NYU
things. I'd get some sort of turkey sandwich on a roll (Smoked turkey?
Not smoked turkey? Who knows!) and get a side of either Black and
White cookie, or Sprinkled Cookie, or chocolate chip cookie, or some sort of
collection of potato chips within a bag. A Ruffles: Sour Cream Scenario
was a go-to, as was a Dorito's Nacho Cheese or COOL RANCH!
We didn't have a fridge in my dorm for some reason (Well, one of my roommates
had a small Personal Fridge but I never worked up the courage to ask if I could
use it a little bit) so whenever I left something over, just stashed it into my
desk, and get back to it whenever necessary.
3 paragraphs to go! I could be wrong, but based on the
little I've paid attention to it, buying alcohol is regressive based on the size
of the bottle you're getting. The bigger the bottle you're getting, the
more you're paying for a standard unit of alcohol. Seems like of
counter intuitive, right? That'd be my guess. I like Joe Biden (and
others) argument that moving to Medicare For All is a slap in the face of what
we've accomlished (and often invoking Obama, who sure we don't wanna
disappoint). HEY WE GOT HALFWAY THERE, NOW YOU WANNA STOP?!
JUST BE HAPPY WE'RE HALFWAY THERE, A LOT CLOSER TO BEING THERE THAN BEFORE!
That's the kind of logic that insurance companies & co must have figured out
is a Winning Gaslighting!
Cool. The older I get, the more I have family being
hospitalized, and obviously my own past, seems like a pretty good place to
start. Should be pretty bi-partisan if people understand the issue.
Has a very immediate effect on people's lives. ANd is emblematic of the
empathy that is the real core to left-of-left-of-center's feelings. I
could be wrong about this insight-em-up, but when they call people on the left
socialists, it sorta paints them as some sort of Political Idealist, looking to
shaek things up HARDCORE and their main priority is HEY SOCIALISM LETS ENACT
SOCIALISM while its really more, ok, socialism is abstractly what I want
(not me, just the imagined voice) but what I REALLY WANT is to take giant step
forwards in key areas where we could help people regardless of financial or
social standing. But Saying SOCIALIST!, even among reasonable people,
paints them as ideologues, sort of. Forget what you think of
Capitalism/Socialism, calling them socialists implies they are beholden to that
intellectual ideology-- but no one pulls that crap on capitalists!
Everyone knows Capitalism is the default mode, its flexible sure, so anything
outside of it is just an all out attack on our status quo! But the
impression I get is it's not really that way. And I'm well informed on
these things because I HAVE A WEBSITE.
Anyway, crap and crap. I think they should
write a book about Donald Trump's tweets and call it The Capitalist.
Dude capitalizes words a lot. Presumably because he's deemed these are
the best words. Makes sense to me! Last paragraph. Sweet.
I honestly feel sympathy for normal people who thought, in the 80's or 90's
hey I just met Donald Trump seems like a cool guy. He ran in Celebrity
and Business and Political circles! Must have been a lot of people exposed
to him where they, in light of current events, have had to reconcile the
disgusting truth of who he is with the novelty of meeting him in the first
place. Also, Rudy Giuliani. That's about as much good will you can
get without actually earning it, being mayor during 9/11. And he's blown
it all completely! When Giuliani was going after the Mob with Rico
Cases, was that sort of like a Dexter type thing. He's a conspiratorial
criminal who only prosecutes other Conspiratorial Criminals. Seems
about right. I'll see you guys later. Metaphorically! What else and
October 13, 2019
Title Leads To Entry
Entry Leads To Time Stamp
Progressive. Not just politically, but I like to see how events unfold--
the true definition of being a progressive! Take, for example, me
using McDonalds Tangy BBQ Chicken McNugget Sauce after having it
in my Re-Fridge-Er-Ator-Ator for at least 3 or 4 years! So far, hasn't
Progressed Into Nothing! Hasn't regressed either! Pretty much
Just A Whole Lot Of Nothin'. Well, I can sorta taste it?
That's a positive. Besides Not Killing Me, being able to
taste it (and it tasting good) is certainly another metric to be considering!
Anyway. Put it on a Subway Sandwich. I feel like a Mad Scientist.
SAUCE FROM MCDONALDS, SANDWICH FROM SUBWAY,... STEWED ZUCCHINI FROM DINER!
True story, that Stewed Zucchini From Diner DID make an appearance in this
FASCINATING. Hey you wanna go to the
diner. No I WANT TO BE a Diner. Yeah lets go to
the diner to dine. I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS OTHER DINER, I'M
HUNGRY! Anyway. If I ever get around to listening/cataloging
Punk Baby songs, it'll probably be 2 45-50 song albums, + 1 10-15 song KEYBOARD
album. Current Working Title-- Free Keyboard Songs.
Freaky Bored Songs. HAH I GET IT... I THOUGHT OF IT THAT'S WHY I GET
IT. MAN that sure is some tangy BBQ! Really it is.
I've been operating the complete day (around ~1/2 of the total day in the end)
with my Contact in my left eye inside out. I can tell because its
uncomfortable. But, hey, what am I supposed to do? Take it out,
reverse it, then try to put it back in again? That might take me upwards
of 1 minute! No, just gonna leave it in the wrong way. I've Got
Things To Do!
Anyway, jeez. UH OH it was TANGY going down but now
that it's been consumed it feels SPICY in my throathole. Is it just
me, or is it a weird human phenomenon, probably generally among Males, where
it's like YEAH GIMME THE SPICY FOOD I CAN HANDLE IT CHECK ME OUT I LIKE HOT
SHIT GIMME SOME HOTTER SHIT. I feel like that's probably a Real Thing
beyond just me. People trying to prove their manhood by eating Hot Sauce.
I'm not here to judge. BUT I'LL JUDGE ANYWAY EVEN IF ITS NOT WHY IM
HERE HAHAH STUPID MEN EVERYONE KNOWS GIRLS LIKE THE DUDE WITH THE AFFINITY
FOR WHITE SAUCE. Anyway, my least favorite part about taking the
garbage is, each time I open up the bin, I'm always scared that there's that
.05% chance a raccoon is gonna be there and bite me. Fuckin' Raccoons!
HOW'D YOU GET IN THIS BIN RACCOON I THOUGHT I CLOSED IT U TIGHTLY LAST NIGHT I
GUESS NOT TIGHT ENOUGH.
Anyway. I can't get wait to get New Bottles of Beer
From Supermarket partly because .25 of the beer I got last week didn't taste
good but mostly because if I get generic light beer it's about .66 the calories
of this regular beer! I DON'T LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT CALORIES ADD FAT TO
BODY AND MY BODY HAS GOT ENOUGH PROBLEMS AS IT IS WHAT WITH BEING MY BODY AND
EVERYTHING. Jeez calm down. Sure. Fourth paragraph!
Jeez. Finished lunch. Had some sort of iced cream sandwich.
Fuck that cream sandwich, gimme some hot sauce sandwich! Frozen hot sauce!
There's an idea ready to Take Off! Anyway. Been making more
progress in The Sopranos: The Sixth or So Time Around Watching It. The
first 5 times I was either undecided on Tony's Mom's senility or firmly in the
camp that She's Senile and Knows Not What She's Doing. This time around?
YO THIS LADY SERIOUSLY WANTED HER SON CAPPED AND NOW SHE'S FAKING SENILITY GIMME
A BREAK! I credit Life Experience with this New Realization.
Anyway. Started re-watching The Wire, too.
Roughly 6th time around for that, too. Maybe 1 or 2 more!
Wonderful.! I need to finish Martin Short's book. It's what he would
have wanted. Rest his precious little soul. I'm re-watching
Family Guy and man this guy REALLY is horny I thought he was joking the first 5
times around... I wonder if I were to binge watch Family Guy if I'd
like it. I think when it was originally around I was a little, "Too Cool
For School," on it, but I think Seth McFarlane is funny but I don't know how I
picked up on that if it weren't for his cartoons. I bet I'd like it if I
gave it a chance but Oh Well No Way Of Knowing. Rest his precious little
soul. I remember when I first realized I had a soul. I was 19 years
old and it was like HOLY SHIT HEY FRIENDS I HAVE A SOUL LIKE YOU, AND YOU
More or less a real realization I had. I have
no idea in what context it was, Facebook Post or Journal Entry or Song Title,
but I remember coming up with the phrase when I was still real mentally ill
Why Are You All Named Seth. Because there's a lot of comedy people
named Seth. Seth MacFarlane. Seth Meyers. Seth Green.
Seth Rogan. WHY ARE YOU ALL NAMED SETH. Anyway, that's a
window into My Past Madness, bless my precious little soul. OH I just
remembered even more context. For some reason I imagined it as a category
on Jeopardy. And someone goes, I'll take Why Are You All Named Seth
for 400. WHAT THE HELL WAS/IS WRONG WITH ME?!?
Jeez. Crap and crap. Seventh
paragraph! Lunch has been Dunzo for about 20 minutes! I'm Okay With
That! Don't have much choice. Anyway. Standard for last
month or so is 5 walks a day. Now trying to condense that even more into
All Before Dinner Time. That way I have dinner and be like Holy Shit
Check Out All This Free Time To Do Nothing. Instead of Holy Shit
Check Out All This Free Time To Do Nothing But Also Half An Hour To Take A
Walk While Doing Nothing Else So It's Pretty Much Just Free Time, Too.
Hey Good News! I lost all my poker money. Yep, all that 65 cents.
Now all I have to do is Keep Playing Free rolls 3 hours a day, hope I never win
anything, win some, hope I lose it all or maybe double up 10 times, then keep
Anyway. Next month, no more of this New Color Per
Entry. Unless I change the background to White, which is very possible.
Right now, I'd say highest chance is change background to white, but keep each
entry in black. But, if I go to White Background, good chance I'll be like
well I haven't done All Sorts of Colors on a WHITE Background, maybe see how
that goes for a month. This is important relevant stuff to the times
we're living in! Times New Roman. America is the New Roman.
You can tell because Hey Great What Else Is Going On. The great thing
about having Punk Baby songs is that they can be terrible and no one will judge
me. Aww, he's just a BABY. Isn't it cute that this song is pretty
terrible nonsense. Sweet Lil' Punk Baby.
Alright! Well, 9th paragraph. Only 1 more
walk In Store before Dinner. So that cuold happen any time between now and
3 or 4 hours from now! ALRIGHT! Been slowly increasing the amount of
walks I take to Walking Around Park instead of Walking Around City Streets.
I like it because Walking Gets The Endorphins Flowing. I once read
something like that. People who walk around in nature get more Feeling
Better Jives than people who walk around in City Streets and whatnot.
And why would they lie? I don't even remember where they read it-- no
motivation to lie!
I like how Trump is using Getting Many Innocent People
Killed and Upending the New World Order in order to get us to stop talking about
impeachment for like a week! WELL DONE COMMANDER 'N CHIEF! Point
is, like I said a week ago, how are we still letting him conduct foreign
policy? I guess nobody heard me! What do you mean
crazysheet.net isn't Canon for the American
Politico-Foreign-Policy-And-Military-Industrial Complex? Sounds
like a lie to me. Somethin' along those lines, I guess, what
else. Canon in D. What was Pachelbel's motivation for that
Holy Smokes Entry
Is Already Long Enough Now There's Even Plenty More?!?
I guess, why
not. I wanted to write this entry in Black Font on, like, a highlighted
White. Like as if you head used a white Highlighter on the text-- overall
background is still black, but specifically around the text its white.
Couldn't crack the code of how to do that. So now we're just going
with... Grey? This is grey, right? Maybe a hint of blue. I
dunno I got better things to do than decipher What A Color Is. I can't
wait to go to the supermarket on Tuesday Morning because then it's No
responsibility until NEXT Tuesday Morning. Hah! I figured Like
Out Real Good. Look forward to the Routine Crap because, when it's over,
it's The Longest It Could Possibly Be Until The Next Routine Crap.
Hey, great, what else is going on. Its my birthday in 2
months. Thirty 1! Does that mean, in a very broad definition, I'm
sort of in my mid 30's? Let's Hope Not! I haven't accomplished a
thing since I was 19! Being in my mid 30's seems real crappy to me!
But, then again, when I turn 31, it'll be the longest amount of time possible
before I turn 32, and then... HOLY SHIT 32 IS MID 30'S SORT OF ONLY
ROUGHLY A YEAR AWAY WHAT A SCAM!!! Great, what else is
going on. Haven't smoked a tobacco cigarette in 6 and a half months,
though! Figure if I keep that up for Rest Of Life that'll add a few years
onto my Nonsense. Great! Holy Smokes is a good brand of
cigarettes where they've been blessed by Catholic Priests who have performed
transmogrification and insist that you are smoking the body of Christ or some
Sounds like fun to me. Anyway. Gotta watch the
latest Dave Chappelle Special. Adam Sandler. Gary Gulman. What
else. Chris Rock, I think??? I dunno, watching my heroes present
a comedic narrative of How The World Is Going Both Overall and For Them seems
like a real risk. What if it doesn't 100% jive with What I Feel?
I don't wanna be uncomfortable being exposed to New Ideas Through Comedy!
I only wanna have my worldview be validated by myself over and over and over
again through the mediocre entertainment I create myself. Eh I'll get
to it, just writing this paragraph has gotten me significantly closer to
actually watching that stuff. Great, just great! I did watch
Aziz Ansari's special a few months ago, though! But that was only because
I was worried if I said no it would cost me professional opportunities
down the line.
That'll show... 'em? Who is that showing... exactly?
I dunno, shows somethin' to someone! Good enough for me! 14th
paragraph! Wonderful. Gotta Psychiatrist appointment tomorrow.
That ain't so bad. The worst part about it is, though, his office has 3
chairs-- one is his, by the computer, fancy chair, okay, that's obvious.
But then there's two, "Passenger Side," chairs. You know, plain chairs for
the guests or whatever. And I always pick the wrong one to instinctually
sit in. Half the time I remain uncommitted because I know he prefers me to
be in a certain one, so I wait for him to direct me. And the other half of
the time, I decide to take a chance, and its invariably the wrong chair.
Wonder if this is some sort of Sick Psychiatrist Shit he's pulling on me.
Constantly making me think I'm Always Choosing The Wrong Chair.
But what would be his motivation? I dunno, I'll think about it when I
get a chance.
15th paragraph! I dunno, great, what else. Man
I can't wait for this Poker Free Roll to start in 15 minutes So I can Hopefully
Lose immediately! There Are Things Wrong With Me Is The Point.
Anyway, shuld be receiving my monthly credit card bill in the mail over the next
week. You know what that means! Oh, you don't? LEMME LET YA
KNOW. It means hey I can buy a new bottle of alcohol without it
showing up on this bill so it doesn't look as if I'm buying too much to
My Father: The Payer Of Credit Card Bills. So I got that going for me!
Currently have about 1/5th of a 375 ML Travel Size bottle of alcohol that I
bought with cash! So I'll get there, don't you worry about me.
Anyway. Dunno what to do for dinner. I got a meal
which is a 2nd half of Dinner from Diner Last Night but may be saving that for
tomrrow's lunch. So I get to have Some Fun tonight what with Something New
to eat and crap! Anyway. What else is going on. Have I
mentioned I don't want The Mets to sign Joe Girardi to be Their baseball
Manager? Cause I don't! I remember him from those few years where I
was a Yankee Fan! Too much Yankee Stink on him (both as a player, and then
mostly as a manager). YEH I WAS A YANKEE FAN FOR A FEW YEARS I DIDN'T
KNOW BETTER. I'm a 1988 Born Of, and their dynasty started
around 1996, and I was a fan from around 1995-1997, maybe 98. Whew.
Glad I got that off my chest. Thanks for the Syn-a-nonymous Treatment.
Hey, hey, great. Yeah, Joe Girardi is the back
up catcher to Jorge Posada like Mariano Rivera is the back up closer to John
Wetteland SURE WHATEVER YOU SAY. Pretty sure Wetteland was caught with
child pornography or something. Could be thinking of someone else!
Oh well, either way, ya know. ALRIGHT GREAT NEWS John Wetteland
WAS convicted of Child Sex but it wasn't pornography it was 3 Counts Of
Aggravated Sexual Assault Of A Child! It's A Good News because I
didn't besmirch anybody's Good Name. I think that we cn agree this
paragraph is a best case scenario for all those who were involved.
HEY I JUST WAITED AN HOUR FOR THIS FREEROLL AND I LOST EVERYTHING ON THE FIRST
HAND... I CAN NO LONGER TELL IF I'M HAPPY WITH THAT RESULT OR UPSET.
Such is life! Gonna take a Walking Break now, hopefully write a
few more paragraphs when I get back! But don't hold it against me if I
don't! HEY THE GOOD NEWS IS IF JOHN WETTELAND EVER WANTS TO GET
BACK, "HIS GOOD NAME," HE CAN START MAKING REFERENCE TO SOME SWAMPS AND BE LIKE
MY NAME IS GOODER FOR THEM, SOUNDS LESS WORSE. Huh, I
waited to take my walk for that?
These Titles, Do They
Ever Title Back?
SOMETIMES GET OFF MY CASE ABOUT IT. Anyway, took a walk, got my first Cold
Brew in like 3 or 4 days! I figure that's pretty good. Republican
office holders insist the reason I don't have enough money is because I spend
all my money on coffee so I'm trying to live the way they would recommend.
Meanwhile, Democratic Activist Holder's argument is that districts are too
gerrymandered! Hmm. Great, just great. I dunno-- good
chance I'ma get me Some Sweet for dinner tonight. Like a Frenched Toast or
perhaps a Chocolate Chip Infused Pancake. Maybe a Waffling Of Some Sort.
Jeez. What else have I got going on. Started watching 20 minutes
of The Nun: The Presumably Mediocre Horror Movie From Recently but had to stop!
Was too mediocre! And trust me, I know Too Mediocre!
O kurrr? I don't know, I heard that
somewhere in a Steve Carrell Commercial. I believe a soft drink was
involved in the plot but it was mainly a commercial for Steve Carrell.
Why are you all named Steve. I mean, c'mon! Why, there's Steve
Carrell... there's my babysitter from when I was a kid... no, his name was
Danny.... anyway. Jeez. 19th paragraph. Figure as of now
aim for 25. I think in Doctor Sleep, Grown Up Danny should have a catch
phrase IT's DANIEL, PLEASE. People throughout the movie are always
like Hey Danny and he gets that look on his face, we all know what's
coming, IT'S DANIEL, PLEASE!!! That sounds like a better movie than
what I'm imaging Doctor Sleep will actually be. Hmm. Doctor
Sleep. I saw a Sleep Doctor a few months ago. Is that relevant to
Lets hope not! I like how Weezer/Green Day/To Some
Extent Fall Out Boy are doing a Tour Together and Releasing new music.
It's like 90's/00's Pop-Punk is going on an all out offensive and I Dig It
Hardcore! First, Mike. Next, The NHL. Then, The World!
Something like that is probably What's Going On and crap. Never was huge
into Fall Out Boy. Didn't have 'em on my MP3 Player and such. But
when I was older and YouTube became my main avenue for listening to music, sure
there were half a dozen Fall Out Boy songs I enjoyed! I think when I
was a kid I thought I was Too Cool For School regarding Fall Out Boy.
The point is, my whole life, for no good reason, I avoided certain cultural
touchstones because I Was Too Cool For Some Imaginary School. Anyway.
Here's a thought from Just Now On My Walk! Donald Trump
saying he'll drain the swamp and it turns out he's pretty much as Swampy as it
gets-- hey, he never said he'd get rid of the Swamp Creatures.
If anything, draining the swamp makes it all that much easier for the
swamp creatures to operate! Suddenly they're not in the mucky muck,
they're free to roam around and interact and do whatever they want! Oh
well, shoulda taken his campaign slogans more literally and thoughtfully,
That's On You. Anyway, what else is going on and crap. 21st
paragraph. Figure 25 is probably the way to go! Love It! That
means four more after this one! I CRUNCHED THE NUMBERS!
Mmm, wonderful. One OCD thing I have is if I'm using a
public rest room I make like double-triple sure I've locked the door adequately
(Double-triple means 6 times. My rules of language!, ship up or ship
out!). I've been burned before! Especially on the LIRR. I
feel like it's happened more than twice that I closed the door, didn't
realie I hadn't locked it enough, people open the door and they're like well
this ain't a pleasant situation for any of us. And there's always the
shame that either I'm too stupid to know how to look a door or I'm
some sort of exhibitionist whose getting off on the person seein' me do my Dirty
New slang for Restrooming? Maybe! HEY
ANOTHER NEW SLANG FOR RESTROOMING? DEFINITELY EVEN BETTER! I
dunno, crap and crap. 23rd paragraph. I dunno. Probably
continue The Sopranos Continuity Of Life today. I could go down The Nun:
The Mediocre Horror Movie rabbit hole, I can do The Sopranos, maybe even put
some Beyond Belief on in the background (Sounds Good!). The point is No
More Oz what kinda fool you take me for. Crap and crap. Anyway.
Few days ago I was uncommitted to SyriaKurdTurksUs Shit. Based on
Consuming Accurate Information, though, I've come to the conclusion Oh This Is
Terrible. Oh well, what can ya do. I'm too busy having Titles
title Back at me.
Huh. 2 paragraphs to go! Also, some of that
OCD is from the other side. I always get scared when I'm opening the door
to a presumably vacant rest room that there'll be someone in there and we'd both
feel quite uncomfortable! No good! Anyway. The point is I'm
not particularly excited about any sort of Supper tonight. Usually there's
at least one thing that I'm like yeah that'll be pretty good.
Nothin'! All I can come up with is Frenched Toast but that's partly
because in the end, all in all, it's pretty bland! I cheat a lot getting
breakfasts like French Toast. I get it with a side of Egg White KNOWING I
will not have the Egg White as a side. I'll just make a sandiwch or
something using Already Bought From Supermarket Bread. My parents aren't
aware of this-- they'd be like, well we should just buy eggs from now on, you
can make your own egg whites. BUT I AIN'T GOT THE PATIENCE.
So, great, that's where I'm At In Life. Last
paragraph! I may have made Eggs once or twice in my life. I think I
know how. I'm just not, "Into," it. Anyway. If it's Italian
Food, I can get some Alfredo pasta. That's sorta Some Sweet.
It's got White Sauce which everyone who doesn't give a shit about health is a
huge fan of. Hey, great. I I could just get pizza. That's
sweeeet.... in a way. It tastes Sweet in the colloquial sense!
Like yo this is sweet! You know, that Steve Carrell phrase.
Anyway Jeez. This entry is done. Gonna stop writing now.
Because the entry is done.
October 12, 2019
We Built This Title On
Rock 'n Roll
Whatdya mean We. It was
all Me. Well, if you're talking to yourself to
ask that we/me question, I think that settles it that there is a We.
Good, now that we got Me Being A Royal We out of the way, lets move on with the
entry! I don't get the Kansas City Royals: The Baseball Team.
What, were there a lot of kings and queens in Kansas City that I don't know
about? Was Kansas run as a monarchy up until the great depression or
something? I'd like an explanation on this but not right now I've Got
Things To Do! Reminds me of a guy I just encountered on my Walk Home 15
minutes ago. I'm wearing my earphones, he goes Hey Friend and I'm
like, to myself ALRIGHT I JUST MADE A FRIEND! and he's like sorry to
bother you, do you have a minute? And I'm like A MINUTE?
I'M PRACTICALLY MADE OF MINUTES! and he's like have you
heard of Jehovah's Witnesses? And I'm like I SURE HAVE I'M GONG
TO WALK AWAY NOW! Such is life.
That's rude, though. From now on whenever a Jehovah's
Witness talks to me, I'm gonna routinely bring up the the end of Indiana Jones
and The Last Crusade and be like hey did you see that movie, it turns out
Jehovah traditionally started with an I, Indiana Jones almost fell through the
cracks by that-- what's your stance on what letter Jehovah starts with?
That's not a bad idea, though. People annoying you with their religious
bullshit-- HEY ANNOY EM RIGHT BACK. The best defense is a good offense.
See how long they'll humor you when you're talking about the plot to
Indiana Jones movies.
Anyway, jeez. Just got a haircut and a shave!
It's a level, "5," haircut, in case you're wondering. Which is a number
The Internet Has Assured Me Applies To Lengths Of Hair. I don't hate
it! Got some Chicken Pot Pie in the oven. Life is good! I
don't know what to think about getting my haircut at places overwhellmingly
populated by Russian Barbers. They gotta be lovin' this Trump stuff.
AND THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT TO FIGHT BACK I NEED THEM TO CUT MY
HAIR WE'VE GOT NO MOVES LEFT TO MAKE. Oh well such is 21st
century life. Political Cartoon of Putin giving Trump a haircut.
Seems about right.
Jeez. I'm not 100% sure why, as a fan of
stand up comedy, I find it hard to motivate myself to watch Comedy Specials that
are supposed to be big deals. I guess sinc taking Comedy CLass my fandom
of stand up comedy has sort of just devolved into my fandom of Myself.
Oh well, I'm sure I'll grow as a person at some point and be able to enjoy
other people's art without instinctually comparing it to my own and judging both
mine and what I'm watching at the same time. But not today!
Not. Today. Anyway. Started watching Cold Persuit on HBO and
got bored. Cold Per Suit? Just buy a warmer suit, problem solved.
Huge Plot Hole! Not sure what fast food/burger joints have to gain by
calling non-meat hamburgers The IMPOSSIBLE Burger. They must have
done some consumer testing and figured out advertising it with that name
gets peple to buy it, but I don't see the reasoning behind it. Do people
take it as a challenge? IMPOSSIBLE HUH? WE'LL JUST SEE HOW
IMPOSSIBLE IT IS AFTER I PURCHASE IT! And then, of course, you want
repeat customers, so the conclusion they make after eating it is either THEY
WERE RIGHT THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE BUT IMPOSSIBLE IN A GOOD WAY or maybe they're
like I KNEW IT THIS IS TOTALLY POSSIBLE NOW THAT I KNOW ITS POSSIBLE I'M
GONNA KEEP DOING IT.
The point is All Of That Is Nonsense but so is the phrase
Impossible Burger so You Get What You Give. I finI find it kind
of odd that fast food places seem to be ahead of the pack when it comes to
environmentally conscious adjustments. Especially since I saw an
article that showed they all donated to Trump. But hey whatever good for
them. I guess it's not necessarily environmentally concious. It
could just be to appeal to people who don't eat meat. But also the even
bigger impact would be to get people who do eat meat to switch over to non-meat
because its good for environment and whatnot. Hey Great How's That Working
Out For You. My main avenue of being environmentally conscious is taking
baths/showers slightly less longer than I used to. I get to what would be
like 50,60% of normal bath/shower time, then remember, ok I'm pretty much
done here I can stop whenever I want.. any time now.. just a little bit more...
alri... OK TURNED THE KNOB OFF. And that rambling takes about 10
minutes BUT STILL it's progress!
Also, I had just gotten that haircut, so I thought This New
Friend just wanted to be my friend because he was so impressed with how my hair
looked. He started off by like Hey How Are You Doing and I was SURE
it would be followed up by I Don't Normally Do This, But Man, Nice
Haircut. Did you just get it? I guess, crap like
that, what else is going on. I used to always feel uncomfortable getting
my haircut-- a little too invasive and intimate for my sensibilities. But
now, I figured out to just tell myself well this is far better than getting a
dental cleaning. This ain't so bad at all! I'm not in danger of
licking the barber's fingers over the course or 20 minutes with their fingers in
my mouth. And, if I am, they're doing it wrong! No haircut should
involve them putting anything in your mouth THAT'S WHERE I DRAW THE LINE!
Speaking of Drawing The Line, I had a dream a few
nights ago that I crushed up a Ritalin and was gonna snort it but some guy was
like hey that's too much and I divided it into half and the guy was like
still too much then I divided it into tenths and he was like ok go
have fun. Then I woke up to the harsh reality that I'm not abusing any
drugs except alcohol which isn't really a drug because It's Legal. That's
the dividing line. Seventh paragraph! I don't believe it! I
accidentally won a few dollars on poker last night but I've got a good plan to
lose it all, so don't worry about that one bit! Anyway. Got around 3
seasons into Oz and was like Yeah I think I'm done with that. Into
the 2nd episode of season 2 of Sopranos and am close to that feeling but
haven't abandoned it quite yet. Watched 15 minutes of Cold Pursuit and I
was like jeez who cares.
Looks like The Mets are looking for a new manager.
I'd like to take this opportunity to formally throw my hat in the ring!
I've seen baseball on TV dozens of times and am pretty familiar with most of the
rules of how the game goes. I can tell somethings wrong with me that I was
SHOCKED they fired their current manager. WTWTF THEY JUST HIRED HIM 2
SEASONS AGO AND THEY WERE SO EXCITED THAT HE WAS GONNA BE GREAT AND NOW HE'S
GONE AFTER ONLY 300 GAMES OR SO GOOD LORD I DON'T BELIEVE IT! I
STILL BELIEVE IN YOU MICKEY CALLAWAY. I REMEMBER THEM SAYING You'd Be Good
AT GETTING THE MOST OUT OF PITCHERS! I STILL BELIEVE
Hey how's that working out for me. If I get my
dream job of Baseball Manager, from that point on, any time anyone asks me how
I'm doing, I'ma be like Well, I Manage. Seems like the only
logical way to live one's life, right? NINTH PARAGRAPH! I
dunno. I thought it was real insightful when Donald Trump mimicked an
orgasm for 20 seconds at his last rally. Partly because hey the
president is giving a speech, 20 seconds of it will be him mimicking an orgasm
[of a political rival, I believe], and the other part is so this is what
our president's impression of how an orgasm goes. II was reading the
headline to an article that makes this point pretty much, but I think at this
point, Trump Supporters just think this is wrestling. Trump is the WWE
wrestler they're rooting for, he's Stone Cold. Everyone else is just
either an ally to the Top Wrestler or Enemy Wrestlers (or, even worse,
insignificant after-thought wrestlers!) They could give a fuck about
anything. They just like their guy.
Only way to release them from that spell is to either
Drive The Point Home That Wrestling Isn't Real and/or doesn't really matter,
or... INTRODUCE A SUPER NEW GREAT WRESTLER THESE IDIOTS WOULD LIKE EVEN MORE
to take his place. Hmm.. Hmm... Well, there's the REAL
Stone Cold Steve Austin. He's probably a Moderate, right? Let's
get him in the Republican primary. Didn't The Rock tease running in 2020
and then afterwards assured us it was mostly just a joke? I DUNNO HE WAS
ON TO SOMETHING THIS GUY IS RIGHT. The Rock would kick Trumps ASSSS He'd
win 75% of the popular vote. And, if he picks Mick, "Mankind" Foley to be
his VP HOLY SHIT NOW EVEN IM ON BOARD I'D BE PSYCHED THE FUCK OUT FOR
A "ROCK 'N SOCK CONNECTION" IN THE WHITE HOUSE THIS IS NO LONGER A JOKE!
Anyway, what else is going on. Plus Mankind was
briefly in a Crew Of Wrestlers called The Union. So you know he's
pro-worker. You can vote him out. You can get him to resign.
You can convict him. But the thing that I would really love to see happen
to Trump most is his fans turning on him. AND HOW KNOWS MAYBE
IMPEACHMENT WILL CAUSE THAT TO SOME EXTENT! Just see a significant
segment of his fans turn on him! Hah! Fuck political questions,
ok we can impeach him, they probably won't convict him, how would that help or
hurt him for 2020... fuck, if we can get 20-50% of his fans off his dick,
HA! That's Pretty Good In and Of Itself!
12th paragraph. Lunch ready in about 30, 40
minutes. CHICKEN POT PIE TAKE FOREVER IN OVEN. I ain't tellin' tales
out of school. Good. You should only tell tales IN school!
That's... something. Great! Plus for dinner I have 2nd half of
Halal Food. CAN THIS DAY GET ANY BETTER?!!?! PROBABLY.
Anyway. Sometimes I regret taping over Home Videos of our vacation to
Disney World in 1997 with Me Rapping The Real Slim Shady in 2003-- but
what can ya do? No use crying over spilt milk. Also-- sure I'll
share this with you-- pretty sure I taped myself masturbating once. Kinda
rings a bell. Which would be almost as embarrassing if someone pops in
that tape. Not quite The Real Slim Shady embarrassing, but still,
not great! But the good news is Either Way there's no record of my Father
providing us with a fun great vacation, my mom in good spirits with us kids, and
my brother doing... I dunno... doin' that brother stuff he does.
Great! Food should be ready in 20-30 minutes!
Prove me wrong! I'm pretty sure 75% of the times I get haircuts over the
past decade is mostly just I need to shave but am too lazy to do it myself
might as well get a haircut. Sweeeeeeeeeet. HEY the good news is
I just lost 75% of my poker money! And you all doubted me.
Food'll be ready in 10, 15 minutes. Figure that'll work out okay for me.
This particular flavor of Magic Hat beer is called Guitar Face which I
find interesting because I have 5 guitars (including 1 mandolin and 2 no longer
working guitars) AND I have at least one face (maybe more don't have all the
details yet will keep u updated on this situation as it develops.)
Great, just great. One more paragraph before I get food! Might as
well! Arbitrary deadlines help you keep routine! That's how I feel!
Anyway, what the what is crap. Haven't seen any movie
this week. Addams Family? What kinda chump do you take me for.
[NOTE--TRUE NOTE-- ALMOST SAID, "TRUMP," INSTEAD OF CHUMP. THAT'LL
LEARN 'EM, THAT'LL LEARN ALL OF 'EM!] Gemini Man? I've seen that
trailer for pretty much 100% of all the movies I've seen in the last 9 months.
Pretty sure it's about Jaden Smith and his father-- I forget his name.
Is that how people of This Kid generation think. HEY did you know Jaden
Smith's father used to be on TV and in movies and with music?!?!
Also, can we agree, un-ironically, or with tongue in cheek- Fresh
Prince of Bel Air is the is the best theme song to a sitcom ever?
I feel like that's not too much of a stretch for us all to agree on it in
earnest. Also, can we agree, WILD WILD WEST was.. uh... sure was
somethin'! I don't think I ever saw that movie. I wanna
watch it now! How bad can it be?!? I bet it even is kinda great 20
years later, because I bet its a cliché of how action/sci-fi/whatever movies
were in the late 90's. I'd be reminded of all those tropes and it'd
combine them into an actually adequately entertaining movie! That's my
One more paragraph, then Food! That way it's even
multiples of five. Anyway, what else in the world is going on.
Apparently Eric Holder (and, to some extent, by extention, Obama) is going
all-in on re-districting/winning local legislatures/fighting gerrymandering for
the next year or 2. Seems about right! I can see how that's an
important issue, but seeing it prioritized, HMM INTERESTING STUFF. MEH.
Hmm, myabe next time, humor the Jehovah's Witness Guy. I've got nothing
better to do! Keep talking to him for hours until he wants out of
it. Just ask him question after question and go late into the night.
At some point he'll realize the error of his ways and be like FORGIVE ME LORD
FOR BOTHERING OTHER PEOPLE UNSOLIVICTED NOW I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE I AM BORN
AGAIN. Plus, he's born again because of me! That makes me
the new Ieohvah! BOUT TIME!
Preferring White as th font color for Crazysheet racist?
Honest question! Seems kind of
silly and ha-ha, great, but no maybe there's some subconcious thing that
makes me prefer White fFor Font! Anyway. I have no idea if this is
accurate or not, or where Igot the idea, but I sometimes resist getting a
haircut if I think I've been putting on weight, becasue I just kind of assume
that face'll look fatter with less long hair. Did I pick up that
thought somewhere real? Or did I just fabricate it out of nowhere?
All I know is THOSE LSOT 2 SENTENCES MAKES ME WANNA WATCH SOME MORE BEYOND
BELIEF IT'S LIKE THE QUESTIONS JONATHON FRAKES WOULD ASK AFTER A BEYONDBELIEF!
This just happened with Jaden Smith AND Jonathon Frakes-- how come when you
google someone the 2nd or 3rd suggestion is Jaden Smith [or whatever]
Height. Is that the primary reason most people google famous people?
Wondering how tall their are? Jaden Smith I can kind of understand-- he is
(or was) a kid/teenager, height is flexible there, ya wanna know. Jonathon
Frakes? HEY THERE'S THIS HOST FOR THIS CRAPPY TV SHOW HOW FUCKIN'
TALL IS THIS GUY?!?!
Unnecessary Title.... or are ALL TITLES overwhelmingly
Hey just started lunch. 17th paragraph.
Figure at least 20 at this point, right? I dunno. Maybe being
approached by Jehovahs Witnesses shuold be kind of flattering. It's like
in gym class, playing dodgeball, but you're not picked last. This
guy really wants me on their team! Their Religious Team! No
thoughts, nanah this guy ain't gonna help us at all or make us proud.
No, they Want Me On Their Side! What have I done letting them down?!?!?
How did Steven Speilberg reconcile Not Being Christian with making Indiana Jones
III: Arguably The Second Best One, Christian Themed? My guess is it
wasn't that hard he's just a movie storyteller what ahppens in a movie doesn't
really matter to him or anyone else get with the program.
Cool! When I first started getting chicken pot
pies, I'd make sure I'm not biting into any corn or peas. I don't like 'em!
Corn on the cob, someetimes, maybe, not really. But loose corn? And
peas? NOPE NOT ON BOARD. But the point is I've grown as a person to
the point where fuck it I'll just take regular bites and if I sometimes get a
Corn or a Pea in there who cares I can live with that sacrifice. How
did Steven Spielberg make ET when the Hebrew Bible has no record of Alien Life
Form. We had ET on video tape but I don't think I ever watched it.
Only other VHS we had that I don't think I ever watched was Petter Pan: Maybe On
Ice?: Either Way It Was Life Action with a Lady Playing Peter Pan. Dunno
what I had against Et. Did the ET Puppet scare me? Possibly.
Something was goin' on that I just had no interested in ET.
Great! The other great thing about getting a haircut is
great I accomplished something this morning Good For Me. 19th
paragraph. Figure I'll write 20, take a walk. Wonderful. The
good news is There's Definitely Tater Tots in my immediate future because I took
a look at how much Halal Food I have left and Yeah I'm gonna need like 10-15
tater tots to pad that into a full dinner. WELL JUST FINISHED CHICKEN
POT PIE. Took me about 20 minutes to eat. That's not so bad! Not
so good, either! In fact, pretty sure descrbing it as, "Good," or, "Bad,"
or any other qualifier referring to such things is totally irrelevant! IT
FED ME AND SURE IT TASTED OKAY GOING DOWN MY GULLET. LAST PARAGRAPH I
DON'T BELIEVE IT. AND ITS NOT EVEN DIVISIBLE BY 5! GREAT What else
is going on.
October 10, 2019
Maybe I Will Title Good
Hey guys and
lady-guys. Also ladies and guy-ladies. I think that covers
just about everyone, right? In a desperate attempt to justify getting Real
Drunk last night, I took some notes! Here's some of 'em-- Villanova
sounds like a finishing school for movie bad guys. ONE DOWN.
NEXT-- In The Sopranos, does the movie Goodfellas exist? They refer
to The God Father, Scarface, etc... but the guy who played Christopher had a
real-life small part in Goodfellas. How is this reconciled? Is it
just like Christopher is like Yeah that Michael Imperioli from Goodfellas
SURE LOOKS A LOT LIKE ME and then they all have a big laugh about it?
Or maybe he did a Reverse Witness Protection Program and went from being an
innocent and not-in-danger member of society but then was like Man that movie
was great WONDER IF I CAN DO IT IN REAL LIFE.
Huh how about that. Here's one-- I like everyone else
realize Cold Pizza is better than Hot Pizza. Some people won't admit to
it, hide it somewhere deep in their mind, but lets face it we all know
consciously or not cold pizza is better. So why do I always heat up
pizza if I have some left over in the fridge? The routine'll mess up
your life! All routines! Better to just live like a Goldfish and Not
Remember Anything. You know, pull a Memento, that would be fun. No
Looking For Some Killer Or Something Though, turning your life into a Suspense
Film Noir type of thing. No, just have some fun. Drink all the time.
Hmm I just figured out a LifeHack for Memento. He can use bodily
functions as clues for what he just went through. Say he's about to lose
his memory, but he knows that waking up drunk means a certain thing, he just
quickly gets fucked up, then he wakes up again and is like, hmm tattoo says
if I'm drunk THAT MEANS THE KILLER IS NEAR GET OUT OF THE WAY EVERYONE I'M
TRYING TO FIND A KILLER!
I am guilty of this too, but I find it amusing how
much of our lives we devote to pointing out plot holes in movies. As if
you're gonna be like, YEAH I REALLY THOUGHT THIS WAS REAL LIFE! THEN
THERE'S A CONTINUITY ERROR AND WTF NOW THIS ISN'T REAL LIFE?!?!?
Something along those lines. How come there's never any plot holes in
books? Well, there must be. I just was never exposed to it. I
bet if you take a Shakespeare class (plays, I know, not books), you'll learn one
or two where the teacher is like yo keep this on the downlow SHAKESPEARE
FUCKED THIS ONE UP check out this plothole right here. The point
is of the 4 flavors of Magic Hat I like 75% of them. How many flavors
is that? You figure it out! Anyway e-mailed around 60, 70 songs
from 2010 to my phone for potential Punk Baby songs. So far looks like
about 90% of them will be eligable! Now it's just a matter of do I make
like 6 albums of 9 songs, one huge big album... or somethin' else I dunno!
Big Decision! I think we should drop the
term LifeHack and instead call it Pulling a Matrix.
Synonymous, right? But Mine Is More Fun! That settles that.
When Catholics go into confessional, I think the priest should hang a banner
above that place called SINANONYMOUS. Cause it's about your sins.
And I think theoretically its anonymous? And there's that multi-used term
WhateverYoureDoingAbusingOrwhateverAnonymous. Hey guess what dummies
with my 2nd half of Halal Food for lunch right now I MADE SOME FROZEN
TATER TOTS. Well, I didn't make frozen tater tots.
Some company did. What I did was put then into A Hot Place to gradually
make them less frozen and suitable for eating. And, guess what--
AWESOME I WANT TATERTOTS ALL THE TIME. Doesn't seem right that you can
get a burger at a diner, and be like Hmm do I want French fries with this, or
onion rings, waffle fries, curly fries.. HEY WHAT THE HELL WHY AREN'T
TATERTOTS AN OPTION? What, is this diner stupid or something?
I think they should do a spin-off of Diners, Drive-ins
and Drives about Only Haunted Resturants. Guy Fieri has to spend the night
in a diner with a poltergeist and just see what happens. I think I speak
for everyone when I saw hmm ok I guess, what else ya got. Jeez.
I'm not up to it this time around watching it, but now that I think about it,
Tony getting shot in the final scene is kind of a best-case scenario happiest
possible ending for the series. Lets take a step back and see how these
characters have ended up by the end. AJ is a dolt. He started out a
dolt, he stayed a dolt. Has some redeeming qualities, became pretty
selfless, but lets be honest he's a dolt. Meadow? Turned into her
mother, she learned to downplay the mob connection and ignore it and whatnot.
VERY DISAPPOINTING MEADOW CHECK MINUS. Carmella? Well she's happy
with Tony gone, now she can get with That Priest from earlier seasons, Furio
from middle seasons, or, I dunno, I'm sure there's some dude she has her eye on
in the last couple of seasons. Let's say,... Paulie.
Tony is happy about getting whacked. What, he wants
to spend an hour at a diner where you can't even get tater tots? Who needs
life if that's the life you're stuck with. SIXTH PARAGRAPH I DUNNO.
Anyway. I like to put together albums randomly because if it
would take the rest of my life to order one album of 12 songs by myself. I
couldn't do it! I like the 60 song album idea, though. Hey this
song should definitely be a track 12-- suddenly I can have this as a track 12,
but its not the end of the album-- I can have another ending at track 40, and
then there's STILL track 60... The point is I'm Not Insane This Makes Sense
To Some Degree For Me. A few entries ago, did I ever get around to
saying that the Deadly Water In Flint crisis/controversy should be called
Watergate? I think I did mention it but didn't really emphasize
it. I think Democrats should start making a big deal about Trump illegally
reappropiating funds to build the wall. Here's an idea for how to cover
I dunno. Looks like Ellen is friends with George W
Bush and is like what's the big deal he's cool! Yeah I think ALL
war criminals are cool! Starting wars over faulty intelligence PURPOSELY,
torturing people, ...OTHER THINGS. The only possible reason to be
friends with him is to just make fun of him constnatly for his Real lack of
intelligence (Not to be confused with the governments lack of intelligence about
things). DUDE WANTS TO PUT FOOD ON OUR FAMILY WTF IS UP WITH THAT
LET'S BE FRIENDS WITH HIM SO WE CAN MOCK HIM AND MAKE HIM FEEL BAD AND THEN WHO
KNOWS MAYBE EVERYONE WOULD LEARN A LITTLE SOMETHING OR TWO. Do kids
today realize how stupid George W Bush was? Honest question, If
you're 18 now, you were born in 2001, and Bush left around 2008. And got
out most of his nonsense early on, or even earlier on on the campaign trail.
The point is it's like Donald Trump except with, lets say, 50-75% less
corruption, 25-50% more good faith, and, I dunno, maybe 75-90% less PURE EVIL.
That's just W I'm talking about, not his entire admin. Dick Cheney was
pretty evil, I dunno. Who can remember that far back. Hmm
based on that analysis what's so bad about Ellen being friends with him.
Because he still committed war crimes and crimes against humanity-- but my guess
is he at least felt he was doing it for a good reason. And they're
terrible crimes-- there is no reason, but I don't think it was done with malice,
at least much of it.
I think you're just jealous that YOU'RE not friends with
George W Bush should be Ellen's argument. Eighth paragraph!
Probably aim for 10. Anyway. Feel like about 3 out of 4 of Punk Baby
is acoustic. The other 1 out of 4 is something else-- I wanna say
electric? Hey not only did Trump torture people, he tortured people he
was holding indefinitely without trial! They might even still be there, I
dunno! No one talks about it anymore except THE WHO who mention Guantanimo
in one of their sneak-peek tracks from their upcoming album! So, Ellen,
next time you're with Bush, can you be like hey what's up with the kidnapping
people and torturing them based on either nothing or fabricated bullshit?
Ask that FUN GUY about that! Anyway, what else. I figured out a good
Pulling A Matrix-- have sandwiches as snacks! You get a 70 cal piece of
white or whole wheat bread-- get some of that insanely thin sliced prepackaged
turkey and/or ham-- but 5 or 6 slices on the bread-- either eat open faced or
fold it over! THE CHOICE IS YOURS AND ITS SOME GOOD SANDWICHING AT LOW LOW
Wonderful, just great. 2 paragraphs to go! Then
its back to OZ: THE TV SHOW or maybe THE SOPRANOS: THE TV SHOW or CABIN FEVER:
THE MOVIE I'VE SEEN IN COMPLETION BUT THIS TIME AROUND ONLY THE FIRST THIRTY,
FORTY MINUTES AND I GOTTA BE HONEST ITS OKAY BUT REALLY NOT THAT GREAT BUT
IF I CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THIS MOVIE THERE'S A SEQUEL THAT I DON'T THINK
I'VE SEEN BEFORE. Eh fuck this crap. I'll catch you all on some sort
of flip side I don't have all the details yet.
Wednesday, October 9, 2019
Here's The Title-- Soon,
...I wonder what the relationship is between
Titles and Entries. If the title is good and the entry is bad, is the
title like, damn entry dragging me down with it I set you up perfectly and
you threw it all away! Or if the entry is good and the title is no
good, is the entry like, WTF THAT'S THE BEST YOU CAN DO? YOU CAN
LITERALLY CHOOSE FROM MILLIONS OF POTENTIAL PHRASES AND YOU SETTLED ON THIS
CRAP? JEEZ. Anyway I'm having a blast with these beer bottles.
When I was a kid, one restaurant we often went to was called First Edition
(although, oddly, not a Super Hero Comic themed restaurant). It was just your
standard bar on the 1st floor, and on the 2nd floor, Family Dining! Anyway
the point is they have some internal Trivia Game you could play if you forked up
the money for the Controller. AND I WON ONCE AND THE PRIZE WAS A KEY
CHAIN-- WITH A BOTTLE OPENER! It's taken me 20 years to get some use
out of it But Boy Does All That Anticipation Make It That Much More Joyous!
Does it? I dunno, that's why I asked you.
My other main memory of that place is we were done eating, but still playing
the game, so we just kept ordering Pitcher of Soda after Pitcher of Soda, for, I
guess, at least 1 hour past actually finishing our meals. ANd those
fuckers kicked us out! WE WERE GETTING SODA YOU IDIOT WAY TO GET RID OF
PAYING CUSTOMERS YOU JERKS. My third memory was Popcorn Shrimp.
Hey we all like popcorn shrimp, that's how my family related to each other
back then. OH also, we did this in other restaurants, but I have a sense
memory of doing it here-- we would play a game within Family which I guess my
parents thought was educational-- you have to say the name of a place that
starts with the letter the last place ended with. Official places.
City, State, Country, whatever. No places like First Edition.
Anyway the point is, anyone who knows this game knows, LOTS OF WORDS START
AND END WITH, "A!" That's something you'll figure out 5 minutes into
The point is I once lost that game and had to give my brother
the key chain. Just kidding I NEVER LOSE! What else and crap.
That place arounc anymore, though. Oh well such is life. So YEAH I JUST
ATE A PIECE OF TOAST. EVEN BETTER NEWS-- FUCKIN HALAL CART FOR LUNCH.
Plus, you know what? Fuck, "Just Hot Sauce,"... I'm goin' for, "Hot Sauce
AND JUST A VERY LITTLE BIT OF WHITE SAUCE." I refrain from doing that most
of the time since becoming diet-concious because the half dozen or dozen times I
have tried conveying that message, they still put way too much on.
I gotta figure out a way to make them understand how little white sauce I really
want. But I gotta be Coooool about it. Can't be Ruuuuude. Hows
about, LOOK I KNOW YOU'RE ABOUT TO PUT VARIOUS SAUCES ON THIS. STANDARD
IS JUST DEFAULTY A LOT OF WHITE AND HOT SAUCE. NOW, HERE ME OUT. ALL
THAT HOT SAUCE??? FINE! I'M GOOD. MOVING ON, THOUGH, TO THE CRUX OF
THIS CONVERSATION-- YES, I WANT SOME WHITE SAUCE, BUT WAIT! DON'T
START PUTTING IT ON YET! A VERVERY LITTLE BIT OF WHITE SAUCE.
HMM HOW CAN I MAKE THIS AS CLEAR AS POSSIBLE TO YOU? 1/10th OF THE AMOUNT
YOU'D NORMALLY PUT? NO THAT'S NO GOOD THAT ASSUMES YOU CAN COUNT TO TEN...
I dunno, I'll think about it. Also, how come
Christians don't keep kosher/Halal. Hey Jews started Kosher partly
because shellfish and crap would be dangerous to eat they didn't have
refrigeration or anything. Then Muslims went through almost the same
thing. How come, between then, Christians were like FUCK THAT WE'RE
GONNA EAT WHATEVER WE WANT! If you're using the Ancient Standards of
Safe Food, that's really mucked up by Muslims re-adopting the Kosher Rules after
Christians threw them out the window! OH WELL SUCH IS LIFE I GUESS!
Fourth paragraph. Figure take a break after this one. Do an hour or
2 of HBO & Chill. Then tak a walk, get Halal, come back here, add some
more Entry! Be back soon!
I Will Follow You Into The D... GOD DAMN WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?!
.Was re-watching some Oz. I've got a bone
to pick with Oz! Oz is the name of the fictional prison in the show, where
it takes place. Then there's a specific cell block, "Emerald City--
GET IT?!?!" and 95% of the show takes place there and/or with characters
from there (fair amount in Prison Hospital, but its characters from Emerald
City, not the rest of Oz). And anyway, 2-5% of the show is other
cellblocks. And they call it Oz?!! THE SHOW SHOULD BE CALLED EMERALD CITY
LETS BUILD A TIME MACHINE AND FIX THIS ONE RIGHT UP. The good news is
Halal Food went almost perfectly. Put on just right amount of white
sauce/hot sauce. They had lamb. Only negative thing is, you get a
free soda, and they didn't have any diet. So when I started walking a way
without a soda, dude was like, you get a soda and I was like nope not
interested! and presumably he was very insulted and took his own life.
What the hell kind of rice comes with Halal Food. I
don't think it's full fledged Brown Rice. Certainly isn't white
rice, don't think it's fried rice. I'MA CHECK INTERNET LIKE I SHOULD HAVE
DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE. Anyway checked Google and the first page of
links that came up seemed stupid to me so I just gave up. My Dad was
upset about me not getting the soda. He said I shoulda been like ok you
owe me one soda for next time. Anyway great! What paragraph are
we into. Sixth! The negative thing (Only one?) about moving
around where my laptop is for each entry, to mix up what desk I'm at and where
I'm facing-- is that when I wanna turn my laptop into my TV, gotta be
South/Facing South. It doesn't seem right that I would have to do a
minimal about of remedial work! Where does work get off!
Never really thought of it this way, but I think chicken and
lamb over rice is my comfort food. Never had it until I was a freshman in
NYU, but I've got really fond memories of aw i have no friends BUT I have
weed and aw the girl I like doesn't seem to like me BUT I ALSO NOW HAVE
DELICIOUS FOOD FROM A CART. And just think how much more comforting it
would be to eat the entire thing in one sitting-- with full amounts of white
sauce? HOLY SHIT I CAN'T EVEN COMPREHEND THAT KIND OF COMFORT. I
find it a little insulting that I'm 30 and I haven't been to Oone peer's
wedding. I had some friends in my adolescence! Close friends!
Real close friends! Then they just abandon me at my most vulnerable
moment-- the happiest day of their life-- HOW DARE THEM THIS IS MY SPECIAL
DAY TO SHARE WITH YOU UNBELIEVABLE.
It It must have taken an incredible leap of faith to
decide to stop explicitly saying no white sauce to alright I'll try
the white sauce. I am No fan of Mayonsaide, or yogurt, or any other
white thing that's possibly in the sauce. But it tastes great!
It's like if they called, "the Sopranos," "New Jersey." Sort of! Close
enough! Eighth paragraph. I'm gonna be honest-- I have nothing to
lose by being honest-- this 3rd of 4 assorted Magic Hat flavors ain't so
good. I guess at this rate it'll NEVER be a comfort food. Hmm
what other comfort foods have manifested throughout my life. And keep
in mind, I don't just mean food I've always liked. Comfort implies a sort
of sense of well being beyond the food tasting good. So, yeah, I could see
pretty much any fast food restuarant. Flintstones Vitamins. THOSE
WERE TTHE SHIT YOU JUST TAKE 30 OF THEM AT ONCE AND OOOOH HOLY SHIT?!?!?
What exactly was the point of Flintstone Vitamins?
Are there kids going to their Mom, I don't wanna take that easy to swallow
pill that has no effect on me!! and the Mom is like WOAH DON'T SPEAK TOO
SOON. TAKE A LOT AT THIS PILL'S SHAPE, THAT MIGHT CHANGE YOUR TUNE.
And the kid is like FLINTSTONES? THAT CARTOON THAT HASN'T BEEN ON THE
AIR FOR 40 YEARS? ALRIGHT SIGN ME UP. That would be a
good idea to bingwatch on Youtube or somewhere else. Just Old, Really Old
Shows. Good idea for a streaming service, to get them all in one place.
I'm full of great TV ideas NOBEL PRIZE PLEASE. Was the production of
The Flintstones financed by creationists? See, men and dinosaur lived
side by side! Also, men had cars but drove by running with their
feet. But for some reason they had the structure of a car around them even
if it served no practical purpose.
10th paragraph. How about that. Apparently
the Mets need a new manager. If I've learned anything from Baseball
movies, they should pick either a literal angel, a 12 year old kid who inherited
the franchise from his grandfather, a robot, the owners dead father, or Tom
Hanks. That's how that should go in an ideal world BUT WE DON'T LIVE
IN AN IDEAL WORLD NOW DO WE. It may not be ideal, but somehow I deal.
HAH GENIUS LEVEL COMMENTARY. The AWESOME news is I can drink pretty much
til my hearts content (Phrase I always liked as a potential serious
title-- "Drink 'Til Your Hearts Content"], watch OZ and THE SOPRANOS: THE CRIME
FAMILY, and maybe even SOMETHING ELSE.
Awesome! It was raining this morning when I took my
walk and my Mom was all like your sweatshirt jacket and pants must be wet
HAND EM OVER I'll wash em. AAnd I was all like NAH I CAN DEAL WITH
THIS FOR THE REST OF THE DAY THANKS ANYWAY. And she was like I ANT
TAKIN' NO FOR AN ANSWER BUD. And I was like FINE YOU WIN THIS ROUND
BUT I'LL GET BACK AT YOU WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT. So now you
have a little insight into a 90% fabricated version of a back-and-forth with my
Mother. She is far from desperate to do my laundry. This is the lady
who said she'd get me an HDTV when I gradated 20 months ago. That'll
shame her, Website Shame Her into action. Anyway that's it for now.
See ya later.
Tuesday, October 8, 2019
The Best Title I've Ever
... will be occurring in around 7-10 years.
Mark your calendars! Also, go get you some multi-year calendars. And
a Two Year calendar STILL won't due the trick. NO, what you need is a
decade long calendar. Anyway, went to Supermarket today (didn't even have
to show them my ID to get my... well... I would have had to show them the
ID if it was just me because of alcohol but the point is IN MOST CASES Trump is
a damned dummy. I mean, if you extrapolate that nonsense, he thinks we
live in a world where if there's illegal immigrants or something, who may not
have ID, he thinks well obviously they shouldn't be able to feed themselves
and their family. That's just a no brainer. Why is Trump
so obsessed with Official Documentation of people? Supermarket IDS,
Obama's birth certificate.. me thinks the Trump doth protest too much!
Somewhere somehow in some way he's got some State or Government ID that he's
like THIS CAN NEVER GET OUT NO ONE MUST KNOW I HAVE TO GO ON THE OFFENSIVE
So yeah the point is, since I was getting Bottle Beer
instead of Cans, it opened up all new avenues of getting Decent Beer. And,
you know what? Now I remember what the appeal of beer was/is. I'm like
oh yeah this tastes good while I'm sipping it and it also tastes good while its
going down my gullet so I'm more okay with getting drunk from it instead of just
secreting it out in urine as soon as possible that's how much I'm not a fan of
these beers. Can someone please ask Trump point blank why he's
forbidding (beyond his actual power) people from cooperating with congressional
investigations? Because there's Zero Reason to do that unless you're
guilty. Anyway. Also, there was that story a few days ago (or maybe
longer, but I saw it on Twitter a few days ago) about some guy who overslept for
jury duty and they threw him in jail for 10 days. And he was on the
Jury side. meanwhile, these people are potential suspects/cooperating
witnesses/whatever i dunno LETS FIND OUT, and also, on a much more important scale,
and we're supposed to be just like OH WELL WE TRIED!
God damn. I was before a judge once. Last
time I was hospitalized, 2012, I had to meet up with this court appointed
therapist as a condition of my release . Came by every week or month or
something and most of the time together was him selling me on the idea that he
could get me video games for free. He really talked up this aspect of our
potential relationship. See they give me some discretionary funds to
give to patients if they can prove what they're getting is positive for their
therapy. AND I ROUTINELY ABUSE THE RULES TO GET KIDS YOUR AGE VIDEO GAMES!
So yeah one of the last visits we went to GameStop and got a used copy of a
baseball game! Not the greatest baseball game! Hard to figure out
the controls! But hey oh well.
But anyway, when that was over, I had to literally appear in
a courtroom like you see on the Televisions and be like Yep I'm here.
Yup I can continue on life without this guy. Yup Thanks see ya later.
SA speed trial, soto speak. What really fascinated me was the 2 or 3 dozen
people watching in the bleachers-- whatever you call that audience section.
Do they just come and hang out 8 hours a day because it's some good drama?
But anyway the whole thing was a good learning experience. Be crazy and
you just might get a video game out of the deal. ILL TAKE MY CHANGES
HAVING OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE ADDED TO IMPEACHMENT CHARGE, BUT NO WAY AM I GONNA
ALLOW ANYONE TO TESTIFY! Well that's surely something an innocent
person would behave, right? Cop pulls you over, asks do you know how
fast you were going? And you go FUCK YOU I AIN'T SAYIN' SHIT
and you speed off into the night. OH WELL WHAT CAN YA DO HE'S IN A CAR
IT WOULD TAKE SO MUCH TIME TO GET BACK INTO OUR POLICE CAR AND TRACK HIM
DOWN... oh well we tried!
And the part that makes that a really apt metaphor is,
just like the cop WE ALREADY KNOW THEY WERE BREAKING THE LAW. The
cop's got his own radar gun, and, us, we have Call Notes, Trump doing it again
on TV, etc. We don't really need them to cooperate at all to
impeach. It's like a Death Row prisoner copping to murders he didn't
commit to help out his friends who committed murders. He's got nothin to
lose, just let all the charges pile up, makes no difference to him. He'll
either be unjustly totally exonerated or, possible, who knows, not.
But he's almost definitely not going to jail, right? He should-- fuck,
I'm against the death penalty, but if it applies to anybody, he's on that list.
So what's he gotta lose by just lettin' them crimes pile up and up and up.
Also, I know its controversial. But forget treason and
all that stuff, which would be a death penalty a couple of centuries ago.
What really bothers me is THE RAPING and even possible CHILD RAPING. FUCK
THIS FUCKER. But anyway add a treason charge, that's fun. I'm not
the treason, you're the treason. Is that the kind of cleverness what
he'd made so many successful deals with people. Sorry, Mr. Trump, the
numbers just aren't adding up for me. You're not adding up to me.
Look, it's a good deal. I benefit from it and you could use a guy like me
in your corner benefiting for you. Trust me when I saw that when I win..
that's what's most important or something. The other point is SURE I'M
HAVIN' SUPERMARKET SPAGHETTI AGAIN THIS TUESDAY. STILL WITH THAT DECENT
CHICKEN CUTLET! I THINK IT'S GREAT JUST GREAT.
Seventh paragraph. Listening to some songs from 2010 to
maybe put into One Mega Album of that time period. I've probably got
around anywhere from 20-80 songs worth sharing, more or less. Just make a
60 song album just for fun. Just look at it! MAN THOSE TITLES
PERFECTO AND THE WAY THEY PLAY WITH EACH OTHER AND LEND THEMSELVES TO THE TRACK
NUMBER THAT WAS DESIGNATED FOR THEM HOOOOOLY SHIT. That's how life
goes for guys like. That'll be a Punk Baby release. Probably its
only release! MEGAsized album of The Punk Babyness from that time period.
Working title-- Rough Draft. Or Punk Baby Presents: Rough Draft.
Or just Punk Baby Hey What Else Is Going On. I dunno.
Finished spaghetti, gonna bring that plate down to put in the sink when this
paragraph is over. Which it is! Hey that worked out fine, just fine.
Oh, one more thing. Fairly often do I have lyrics in The Uppers that
either don't make sense, or you know what I meant but the words are wrong.
One thing sorta like that is I have a lyric (without the couplet, just gonna
give you the one line II went to the bathroom and threw up in the sink.
I can understand throwing up in kitchen sinks-- I've done that before-- makes
sense. But if you make it all the way to the bathroom HEY THE TOILET IS
RIGHT THERE YOU DUMMY.
I'm about 2/3rds through potential songs from that time
period, and rank 'em from 0 to 4, zero being No Way is this worth sharing, and,
well, II haven't gotten a 4 yet. Lots of 3s! But anyway, so
far, like 90% have been 1's to 3's. So I'm pretty confident I can stretch
this album out as far as it could possibly go. What fun! Two of my
favorite tracks are ones I had done with my brother, with hhim playing rhythm
guitar and me singing/a little bit of lead guitar. We had some nice
chemistry in retrospect! Oh well that's all over now. He's in
a better place. Brooklyn. Sounds pretty good to me! And
it was all improvising. No writin' together, just saw what happened!
Hey wasn't I gonna bring some spaghetti down or something? Instead I
ended up writing a whole new paragraph! But no more! Now its time to
What else. If I could Get PunkBabyRoughDraft to 45
songs, that's the magic number for me. ANything over would be more or less
just as good, but the number 45, that's long enough where it's like Jesus
reading these titles is literally like reading a book. Flash Fiction,
they might say. Plus, you double click on them, HOLY SHIT THERE"S MUSIC
TOO? VAGUELY APPROPRITE MUSIC BASED ON WHAT THE TITLE SUGGESTS? HOW
IS THIS KID NOT GETTING THE NOBEL PRIZE IN AMAZINGNESS The point is
that's all behind us now. I had to spend 10 minutes working with Microsoft
FrontPage caus I had added HTML tags or something, and took me a while to fix
it. It was like Regular Reading The Website but also you saw the HTML code
behind it. What am I NEO? NO MERE MORTAL CAN READ HTML LIKE
THAT GOTTA BE A SCIFISUPERSTAR.
Jeez. punkbaby.bandcamp.com was taken.
punk-baby.bandcamp.com was taken (Maybe by me a week or two ago! Kinda
rings a bell! But if it is me, I sure as hell don't have the password
somehow!), so the point is now my website is punkbabyband.bandcamp.com. I
like it! It reminds people it's music because of the word band. Some
people need extra attention. Over the last 7 or so years, I've been
satisfied with bandcamp.com as a nice simple flexible way to upload music ti
Internet and arrange it in ways you like and presumably has some sort of built
in audience to the whole thing. I don't ever gonna go back to the days of
putting music on MySpace! Whatta Suck that was. I have 2 or 3 songs
on my old MySpace that I have No Where Else, but it doesn't even work if I try
to play 'em. So they are lost forever after being lost forever but then
found on myspace but don't get your hopes up it's back to being lost forever.
Something Like That I
I don't wanna count my chickens before something may or
may not happen to them, but drinking Good Beer could be a game changer in terms
of almost-daily drinking. It tastes good, so one beer lasts me a lot
longer. It could lead to Less Drinking Overall! Wonderful! And
to think you all doubted me. Huh? Oh sorry I was
thinking of something else. What were you thinking of.
Some other people that doubted me, don't worry about it. Jeez. I
know it's a running joke about Tom on Mysapce being friends with everyone (for
the kids-- myspace was a social media which was the big deal at the time-- and
it was presumably started by some guy named Tom-- and each person account had a
like of their top 8 friends, which you got to choose who made that top 8, but
everyone was forced to be friends with Tom and he was on everyone's top 8.
I don't even need to come up with a joke for that. It was a cliché
premise for jokes at the time, I feel, but just explaining it to people who may
not be aware of it is pretty funny enough to me.
Jeez. Anyway, this mega Punk Baby album is mostly not
really punk-- but that's Just Right. This is the music Punk would make
when it's still a baby. You're a baby, you got no idea of punk or rock or
anything other kind of music. The point is you can see the seedlings
and inklings and sprouts and crops and flowers that may somehow one day lead to
THE UPPERS: THE LIGHTEST PUNK BAND IN THE WORLD! That's one way I describe
it sometimes. Light Punk. Both in terms of not too
aggressive, both in lyric and music and also the sound is pretty trebly
(high notes sound Light, right? makes sense to me) That's the
other way drinking good beer can go, though. It's not light beer.
It's 50% more calories per beer compared to light. But if it leads to
drinking 50% less, then that's still a net gain! Wonderful! I still
like Utility Rock better, but if I'm in a situation where I don't wanna confuse
people needlessly for my own amusement, I might just say light punk.
Cool! I remember looking up Utility Rock on
google just to see if that phrase is used anywhere, even the long shot of some
other music using that label-- and the only think that showed up was you could
buy a rock-- and they called it a Utility Rock. Because I guess you can do
different things with it. Throw it at people. Throw it at a window.
...Use it as a paperweight. Pet Rock. Was that real thing.
Pet rocks? I feel like that was a thing in a previous generation
before mine, but they weren't that dumb, were they! I dunno, what
else is going on. 13th paragraph. Feelin' okay today. HEY still
gotta watch the latest The Simpsons: The Major Television Show Extravaganza
somehow. Fox.com worked good last week. They cut off the last 2
minutes, but jokes on them, I SAW MOST OF IT BEFORE THEN CLOSE ENOUGH. Has
anyone ever asked Rupert Murdoch, why, "Fox?" Are you a Sporting
Man--- by which I mean Do You Kill Innocent Animals For Your Own Amusement?
Is iIt is like Foxy, like black women may or may not have been in the
1970's? Is it Smart As A Fox? Stupid As A Fox? I NEED
Jeez. Foxes are on both sides of the predator
equation. I think they eat other animals and crap and can be dangerous to
humans. But also, I'm pretty sure they're one of the main albums people
LOVE to kill for no good reason. Whose side are you on, is the point.
Are you rooting for The Foxes, Murdoch, or... are... you rooting for...
where am I, I don't know whatta do with the rest of this riff! Get off my
back about it. NEWS CORP IS NEITHER NEWS NOR CORP.
I went there because no one else has got the gumption to! They kinda
played the long con, to their credit. I'm under the impression Fox News is
the one that really helped shape the narrative around reporting the results of
the 2000 election by saying We Project George W Bush has won! and at the
time, I guess CNN And The Rest thought of Fox as more or less an equal and were
like Yup if Fox is going there they must have their head on straight.i
So the point, well, Great, Just Great. I know other networks called it for
Al Gore first. Maybe prematurely. But probably in good faith.
Fox then calling it for Bush a couple of hours later? HOW DARE THEY THEY
MUST BE SHITTY AS A FOX.
That's another thing Foxes are. SHITTY! I don't care
about burning all my bridges at Fox they don't even own the rights to The
Monkees! Lotta good they're doin'! Anyway, see, normally at this
time, given all other sets of circumstances being the same, I'd be probably 3-4
drinks in for the day. Drinking this beer? 1/3rd of the beer!
That's it! Has anyone attempted to do what I'm doing and BingeWatch
several shows at once? Like, you're gonna go through all of them in a
matter of weeks/maybe 1 or 2 months. But you alternate between 3 or 4
shows all day so you can catch maybe 2 or 3 episodes per day of each one but
with breaks. I think one of the main aspects of binge watching is that
moment from 1 Episode Ending transitioning into the 2nd Episode Beginning.
Without that, is it even really binge watching? My guess? I couldn't care
less. Gonna take a Walk Break Now. I'll Be back!
What Fun Are Titles
What fun aren't they, am I right?! I don't
know, doesn't really make sense one way or the other. Anyway I still
gotta finish that Martin Short book. I could do that. It's what he
would have wanted. Rest in peace. LOL RIP RIP TAYLOR
HOLY SHIT AM I BRILLIANT. LOL RIP TORN 2nd Name is What Happens
After 1st Name GET ME SHEAKESPEARE ON THE LINE WHAT HE'S BUSY I'LL WAIT!!!
So I took a walk and whatnot. Browsed some twitter for 2O minutes.
It was fun. It was all The world is going to shit, and then the
counterargument of somehow this counterargument not only reinforced that the
world is still going to shit, but makes it even that shittier. Twitter
is essentially a game of Shitty Escalation. So is life. Such
is life. I was thinking about it and It's Time To Change One Of My
Facebook, "About Me," Favorite Quotes. Get rid of 1 of the Simpsons once
already there, and replace it with, I live above a bowling alley, and below
another bowling alley... HAH THAT'S THE LAST SIMPSONS QUOTE I THOUGHT
OF OF 10'S OF WORTHY THOUSANDS LET'S COMMITT TO IT BEING MY MAIN THING.
What else is going on. Pat Robetson saying Trump may be
risking losing THE MANDATE OF HEAVEN. I was unaware Trump was
operating under THE MANDATE OF HEAVEN all this time. I don't
remember there being a vote for that. Or even any flyers. Someone's
got the mandate of heaven, if I don't even get a say in it, I'd at least
like to be aware of it! Doesn't seem right, not one bit. That does
explain his mental illness a bit. I have great universal and unmatched
wisdom or whatever. All these delusions of grandeur. HE'S GOT
RELIGIOUS LEADERS TELLING HIM HE'S GOT THE MANDATE OF HEAVEN! AND HE'S A
REALLY FUCKING STUPID GUY WHO LIKES TO BE FLATTERED HE'S TOTALLY BUYING INTO
THIS BULLSHIT. Gonna have 2nd beer to finish over the rest of the
entry. What percentages of Pat Robertsons actually believe the crap
they're saying. Depending on your personal inclinations towards organized
religion, you'd probably guess either 5% of 95% are doing it in good faith
(GOOD... FAITH HA I CRACK MYSELF UP) There's many shades of grey,
though. I bet most of 'em do stuff they know is stupid as fuck but might
believe in other aspects.
C'mon, bet with me. I GOT MONEY I FEEL LIKE GAMBLING.
I'm okay with the channel BET (Black Entertainment Televsion) but, back when I
still had a TV, I was VERY upset with their offshoot channel aimed specifically
to black women. They often showed, ya know, generic movies that anyone
would like. But the commercial breaks! You never seen these
commercial breaks. 15 minutes easy per break. Maybe more like 20 or
25 minutes. And probably the segments of the actual movies were in shorter
blocks as well. GREAT NOW I'LL NEVER KNOW IF AKEELAH AND THE BEE
BECOME BEST FRIENDS... I DUNNO IF THAT'S WHAT THE MOVIE WAS ABOUT THERE
WAS A 40 MINUTE COMMMERCIAL BREAK AFTER THE OPENING CREDITS!
I knoI know how, on Netflix, or HBOGO, or whatever service, we all have
our favorite genres to browse. One of mine is Race-concious films.
With Spike Lee being the main man for those. I don't know why I like em!
I just like seeing People Grow Over Time, Both Opressors and, Opress..ees?
[and, most importantly-- ME! hah I live very isolated socially but now I
presumably have a somewhat better idea what different cultures are about and
what makes them special JOKES ON YOU I EXPLOITED YOU FOR MY OWN PERSON GROWTH)
Dunno what the hell any of this is.
I dunno why Trump and far
right people keep suggesting civil war. They'd get their asses handed to 'em in
12 hours. What they're really picturing-- which is horrifying because they
could do it-- is just really go crazy with the terrorism. I mean,
Virginia is never going to secede from the union. There will be no
political or structural civil war. It'll just be a bunch of dumbasses
trying to take innocent people down with 'em. Oh well, at least we have
a president who would do the bare minimum and discoura... wait, nope, nevermind.
Oh, there's this, though! At least the congress and senate are putting in
action so many common sense gun safet-... nope, not that either.
It's kind of like they're a fan of innocent people getting killed. Not
sure what other motivation they might have other than OH NO IT MIGHT HURT ME
POLITICALLY RUN AWAAAAAY!
What else is going on. Here's a Dexter-like- TV
SHOW Pitch. Pro-lifer who gets a job at an abortion clinic. And
every time he performs an abortion he's like HAHAHAHA THEY'LL NEVER CATCH ME FOR
THIS ITS WITHIN THE SYSTEM I'M A DEVILISH LITTLE STINKER AIN'T
I? II think babies and having babies are weird. For members of
my exact generation, not counting those 50% of us who have babies, I
think Knocked Up is the closest I came to ever contemplateing with that reality.
WIht the back up being Ben Folds' Brick. 2nd back up was Juno.
The point is I Learn All Things From Hollywood Movies and Indie Rock Bands.
They're ok, I trust 'em, sure, why not. THERE WAS ALSO THAT FORREST
OF THE BRIDE II WHERE GRANDMOTHER AND MOTHER WERE PREGNANT> SURE I SAID
FORREST OF THE BRIDE I REALIZED HALFWAYTHROUGHH THE MISTAKE BUT I LIKED IT SO
That's how life goes if you want it to. Did Forrest
Gump have any kind of sex live, even just personally, outside of Jenny? I
mean, obviously he liked Jenny. But there's no scenes of him in Vietnam
just chilling out and being like I'm gonna rub one out that amuses me
whenever I do that. These are the questions on every REASONABLE man's
mind! He had sex with Jenny, though, right? They made Haley Joel
Osment. NO, A NEVER ENDING WEALTH OF GREAT TALENT made Haley Joel
Osment. Touché! Hey if u ever wanna go to an NYU dining
hall for shits and giggles hit me up. I dunno, what else is going on
and crap. 21st paragraph. Let us continue for some reason. I
dunno about these new Wilco and New Pornographers albums. If I had the
time and effort to, wihch I undoubtedly will one day, and also the proper
circumstances to enjoy it (WEED), I'm sure I'd get really into it.
For now, there's only 3 or 4 songs per album I really like (and not just songs I
can stand, songs I have been listening to on repeat). But I'll get there
the overall albums, don't worry! What's a MychaelLife without some
Marijuana INCOMPLETE that's how it goes!
Anyway. In the Guided By Voices book, Robert Pollard
made fun of several bands I liked that really effected the way I see the world.
I think Radiohead was one he didn't like. Belle and Sebastian maybe?
I forget but whatever it was, it just has made me think twice Yeah I
always thought these bands were cool, but there's this other guy from a band I
also think is cool telling me these other ones aren't cool? WHAT WOULD
BE HIS MOTIVATION TO LIE? 22nd paragraph. Three.Five to go!
HAH HALEY THTS A GIRLSNAME I HOPE NO ONE EVER MADE FUN OF HIM FOR IT IT MAY
HURT HIS SELF ESTEEM AND THAT'S CERTAINLY NOT WHAT I'M ALL ABOUT. I I
saw M. Night Shyamalan is almost done with a new script! I know this
because I follow M. Night Shyamalan on Twitter. Not in an official
capacity, but I keep checks on 'em! Also Stephen King. Both Masters
of the macabre now all I need to do is look up macabre and hopefully it applies
to at least one of them and ideally both. Meh, King is,
Shyamalan, I don't think he gets there. Good for him, though. He
made Unbreakable-- one of my top 5 movies! well, it's one of HIS top 5
movies. It's one of my top 5 favorite movies to watch--an an
audience-- I have no stake in the movie itself and how it turned out!
What the what. I don't get people thinking Glass
wasn't that good. What are you stupid? It was great!
Especially for us Feebs who spent time in mental hospitals and no one believes
your bullshit and, in real life, they're usually correct, but in this
movie, NOPE THEM SUPERMEN WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG FUCK YOU EVERYONE!
Ah, that good ol' magic of hollywood, can't get enough of it! Also, how
come there weren't any other patients hanging around. I get that These
Three are intertwined in their, "Delusions," and are treated exclusively, but
that was a big hospital! It can't be just devoted to three people,
total waste of space! Very inefficient! Hopefully that's addressed
in Glass II: Glassses's'ses' Revenge. That's a good basic premise for
how to continue the franchise. Glass left a series of clues or some
such thing for future heroes. DONE. [Dunn] EASY. GET CRACKIN'
Ah, two more paragraphs to go, finally. Had 1 beer
earlier, had one mixed drink, am on 2nd beer, and hopefully that's that for the
day! WOW RESPONSIBLE VERY WELL DONE MIKE. Let's not count
chickens before stuff happens with them i dunno why does everyone always bring
up chickens with counting i don't get this. Jeez. The piont is
I'm real happy with this color font. Real happy. But enough about
me, let's talk about you. There's still 1.5/25 entry left! Might as
well mix things up. So, you're dream job is to go back in time and
appear in the sequence in MYSTERY MEN when they're interviewing potential
superheroes to join their team during a pool party? One is Dane Cook
before he became famous and even more before he stopped being famous? Ok,
what was your bit? OH YOU DIDN'T HAVE ONE? YOU JUST LIKE SUPER
HEROES AND POOL PARTIES AND WERE EXCITED WHEN THEY COMBINED FOR ONE GLORIOUS
SCENE? I think my work here is done. But 1 more paragraph is
still to be written. But who cares I'm done. You make
a good point nevermind it's your choice boss. SEeya later.
Monday, October 7, 2019
I've Done This Before!
True Story. Anyway feels like Trump's main
argument against impeachment is similar to that line he had in the 2016 debat
about Putin, going I'm not the puppet, you're the puppet!
Except now he's going You're The Treason I'm Not The Treason You're The
Treason and It Keeps Happening and there's no sign of it stopping! I
don't think anybody was using that word in the public domain before he started
throwing it around. So, thanks! Now people are thinking about
Treason and reasonable people will come to the conclusion wait THIS GUY
CLEARLY COMMITTED TREASON! What can you say, the dude's got the
best words. That was one of his main campaign promises. Dunno how to
feel about this Syria/Kurds/Turkey stuff. On the one hand, I don't really
know this situation well enough to have an opinion one way or the other.
But on the other hand, Trump has proven to be Doing The Wrong Thing pretty
much 10 out of 10 times, right? I'd put 10 to 1 odds that this is
within that tradition of this guy sucks for all of us.
Fighting ISIS? GOOD! There being war
and fighting and killing going on, with the US participating? I dunno
my first instinct is LET'S ASSUME THAT'S BAD IN THE ABSTRACT BUT WE TAKE IT
ON A CASE BY CASE BASIS.
Did you know the original
title of Lets Make a Deal was On a Case By Case Basis. And
the 2nd title, Let's Make A Deal, was predicated on the idea that Donald
Trump would host it (He makes the best deals). Has there ever been a first
hand account of a guy going hey back in the 80's or something, I did some
business with Trump and MAN WE MADE SUCH A GREAT DEAL! I mean, there's
over 20 people credibly accusing him of sexual harassment. How is there
not even one person credibly accusing him of Successfully Brokering A Really
Great Deal. BECAUSE HE SUCKS AT EVERYTHING C'MON TRY TO KEEP UP.
Hey guys check this one out-- The Art of the STEAL
SOMEBODY GET ME MAD MAGAZINES NUMBER, I GOT A NICE ONE FOR 'EM!
Should be a book about building heavily reinforced bridges.
Art of the steel. That's one man's opinion. Me, that's the one
man, It's Me! Also, if there was no ghost writer, I'd pay to see the 2
page pamphlet that would be the best Trump could put together himself about The
Art of the Deal. Page one just has the sentence I Like Them If They
Like Me and the backside of that page just goes These Were The Best
Words. The good news is I got Vegetarian Brick Oven Pizza in the oven.
Also, I've said it before SyriaKurdTurkeyGate, but how the hell are we
allowing this guy to continue to operate our foreign policies WHEN HE'S ON VIDEO
SELLING US OUT FOR PERSONAL BENEFIT FROM CHIEF RIVAL COUNTRIES.
Jesus Christ how are you STILL letting him do things?! He
was joking, get a grip. Alright wonderful. Let's see if anybody
other than Trump EVER will get away with that defense. Even if its a
wealthy white guy, he appears before a judge and jury for whatever crime, his
defense is I WAS JUST JOKING GOD GET A SENSE OF HUMOR! they'll be
found guilty. This one moment in history, with the president no less, it
might just keep him out of The Range of The law for long enough to kick some
cans down the road. Ridiculous. It takes one joke to get
another. And these Republicans are a group of jokers. THe BAD
kind of joker. THATLL SHOW THEM!
Hey remember when they didn't impeach Clinton for lying
about Monica Lewsinsky sex? First he denied it, then it came out it
happened, and then Clinton went I WAS JUST JOKING WHEN I LIED ABOUT IT
DUUUHHHH and then everyone on both sides of the aisle had a Nice Big Laugh
about it. Also, what, its supposed to be funny that AT LEAST half of
America is being Practical Joke'd that their president is a traitor? I
don't get the comedy in that. Making Americans fear that their president
has abandoned his oath of office and is acting mercenairially (I Made Up That
Word!) in his own best interests in matters of grave import, and brazenly
breaking law after law to accomplish that... hahHAH GOTCHA!! And
what's the end game for that joke? He has a press conference in 5 years
and goes Look, I made a lot of jokes back when I was president. A LOT OF
JOKES. Here they are/were, one by one... I forgive you for
any confusion these jokes may have caused but what can I do I'm simply a Comedy
Genius 5 years ahead of my time! Makes absolutely no sense that its a
joke and if you're using that defense you're freakin' pathetic.
The Bad News Is There's
Saw my therapist today. She insisted she thought
I had lost weight since last visit, while the math says I should be up several
pounds. Here I was, drinking almost every day to excess, eating a lot
while I'm drunk, and WHAT DO I GET OUT OF IT MORE HEALTHY?!?!
Here I thought I was living an unsustainable irresponsible lifestyle that was
TODAY FIRST, TOMORROW WHO CARES but in the end there's no negative consequences?
GREAT HOW I SUPPOSED TO ENJOY LIVING IN EXCESS WITH THAT SORT OF NOTHING HANGING
OVER MY HEAD? I like seeing the therapist. I get to go into
it thinking okay what things am I gonna bring up, what things am I gonna keep
to myself, and what things will I either exaggerate or down play depending on
how I choose to frame myself this month.
The point is Sure Great What Else Is Going on.
Third time I've gotten this, "Veggie," Brick oven pizza. First time was
great. 2nd time, felt like only 1/2 the toppings and cheese as the 1st
time. 3rd time, just now, back to normal! Anyway, what is it about
teenage mutant ninja turltes that makes them like pizza so much? I mean,
you got a regular turtle, he's not gonna have any interest in pizza. Ninja
turtles? I dunno, is there something about practicing Ninja Techniques
that makes one hunger for pizza? Mutant? Somehow being mutants makes
em want pizza? And, finally, TEENAGER. That's the answer
right there. Teenagers cant get enogh of pizza! Wonderful time
in life, hormones flying here and there, and you choose to ignore them and eat
some pizza instead! That's how my life went, more or less. And look
at me now! DON'T LOOK IM HIDEOUS.
How come the Power Rangers didn't have a favorite
food. Also, how come there's been several iterations of TNMN franchises,
and they stay teenagers throughout each movie/episode. If you got a TNMN
trilogy, you better be documenting their growth fron adolescence into adulthood!
Mutant ninja tutlres don't say 17 forever! (Based on what I know, the original
1st 2 movies, they seem around 17). Also, they gotta be BUMMED THE FUCK
OUT that there's no female teenager mutant turtles. Also, whoever came up
with The Tortise and the Hair, was it Aesop?, but whoever came up with it
c'mon you're trying too hard to be cute give it up. Slow and steady may
win the race 1 out of 1000 times. Implying any differently is
irresponsible and just plain WRONG BUDDY. I don't care how often and
how long that rabbit chills out, he's still gonna win the race the vast majority
of the times!
I like how Trump can do whatever the fuck he wants, but as
soon as he's like I'm gonna withdraw some troops from a foreign country
that's when the Republicans FLIP THE FUCK OUT. Great, just great.
I'm not making a statement one way or the other! I don't know well enough!
I just think its funny.i MMaybe THAT was a joke. Withdrawing
troops from Syria. At this point don't we have to look at EVERYTHING
Trump does or says as possibly a joke? That's apparently how he
thinks we should be acting. Just do whatever the fuck you want and
every now and then have some surrogates say you're joking. Check mate!
Anyway. I better stop eating and drinking more if I really wanna live
a Hedonistic lifestyle! And I Don't Really But Hey It's Better Than
Also, these olives on the pizza? I don't hate 'em!
Never really had olives before but at this point I'll take any kind of vegetable
to flesh out whatever meal I'm havin'. What happens to an olive in the
sun. Does It Become Lawrence Olivier? Probably not-- he comes
from people, not vegetables-- as far as I can tell. I have no idea why
this just came to me, probably because I knew/know some Asian kid/guy named
Lawrence, but I just remembered one of my first friends in Stuyvesant, in
Drafting Class Freshman year, his name was Jefferson. I thought
that was great. Jefferson. And he liked Sublime, too! I was
all about Sublime back then! And, drafting, wow! It's a thing where
you take exact measurements of things in case you wanna build them again or
something, I don't have all the details. [oh figured it out Lawrence was the
Asian kid in School of Rock: The Movie which I would have seen right around that
Life in Stuyvesant got a whole lot more interesting
when I started having friends who were girls. You know, about 2 or 3
months before graduation? Wonderful! It was a relief to find out
that Drafting Class wasn't just signing us all up to be in the army.
Cause it was Freshman year! Too young! Only 14 or 15 years old!
I doI do remember during a Senior Year Homeroom, I did have to
register for something which confirmed, if there was a draft, I'd be eligible to
be drafted. Only in America! Jeez. Supermarket
tomorrow. CAN LIFE GET ANY WORSE I NEED TO SPEND AN HOUR AND A HALF
WALKING AROUND AND SOMETIMES CARRYING STUFF MIGHT AS WELL JUST END IT ALL
NOW. Too lazy, though. Might as well just get through
Supermarket Stuff and then I got a whole week before doing it again.
Anyway. I've been real good about spreading out Cold Brew Iced Coffees.
There was a period for a month or so I was up to getting it 3 times a day
regularly! Now its down to once every 3 days. that's 1/9th of what I
was doing! Also, crunched the numbers-- have saved about 2000 dollars
since quitting cigarettes!
YEAH DEAL WITH THAT RESPONSIBLITYNESS. Anyway, watched
Isn't It Romantic. The movie is set up (In the first act, and in all the
previews/trailers I remember seeing) with the hook that oh this lady is
suddenly magically living in a Romantic Comedy so much Gold To Be Mined There!
but then for 75% of the movie its just a regular romantic comedy where they
abandon that premise, andjust go through the motions. NOT IMPRESSED.
AND I'M THE AUTHORITY ON ROMANTIC COMEDIES-- I SAW ONE JUST THE OTHER DAY-- IT
WAS CALLED ISN'T IT ROMANTIC? What else is going on.
I mean, it was a good enough movie. I've seen worse! Jeez
I ate too much pizza. I was trying to prove a point! Was gonna
eat 4 out of 6 slices of the 12 inch pie-- ended up eating the whole thing!
NOW I'M SICK>> WHATTA SUCK ?? WHAT CAN I DO TO REVERVERSE THIS DECISION?
Jeez, I dunno. Extremely light green/bordering on
yellow font for today WOW butcha know it could be a little more green
LEMME ADJUST IT NO I'm already into the entry this far with that color,
gonna keep it! But I'm just gonna use this here color as a reference point
for NEXT Entry. It's called planning a head you dummies. What
else. Ok, The New Monkees. 1-- Fool 2-- Idiot 3-- Nincompoop 4--
Stupid. That's where I'm at right now! And the irony doesn't
escape me that I am possessing all those characteristics Right Now and pretty
much At All Times that's how you know they're good! HEY WHAT THE HELL I'M
STIL IN NEXT ENTRY'S COLOR. BETTER FINISH THIS PARAGRAPH AND GeT BACK TO
Wow! Despite Therapist's platitudes, I probably
have been gaining weight. The math heavily implies it and when I look in
the mirror I'm like yeah this ain't what it was four months ago.
BUT OH WELL WHAT CAN YA DO. SUCK IN YOUR GUT AT ALL TIMES LIKE MAKE
THAT YOUR DEFAULT STATE FOR ALL OF LIFE. GOOD IDEA I'M GONNA USE THAT
THANKS FOR THE TIP. A few episodes into re-watching The Sopranos. In
middle school I was told I was a baritone, at least after my voice
changed. I dunno what it means but it sounds good to me! Anyway,
middle school chorus was when I was first exposed to, but not cognizant of,
9/11. 2nd class of the day (and only like the 3rd or 4th day of the school
year) we were working on our MOTOWN MEDLEY and the teacher started crying.
We found out around lunch time ourselves. But anyway that's why I can't
listen to MoTown now without feeling all the feels.
Ya, wonderful, great. 14th paragraph! Wonderful.
Jeez I need to figure out Life To Do. Summer has come and past.
Gotta maybe work on some stand up, do some open mics. Even if its just 90%
of the material I already have! That could be a thing someone like me can
do in a world like ours in some sort of universe that may or may not exist!
Jeez. Figure I'll take a walk
right now. Maybe aim for 20 overall, about 6.5 left! Be back soon!
[[WAIT BEFORE I GO]] (Good way to finish this paragraph so I can start anew when
I get back) do Jews have Leap Years? I mean, I know their/our days run
from Night till Afternoon, but they're still 24 hour days, right? So you'd
think they'd have some sort of leap day sometimes, too, right? I'M SO
FASCINATED IMA LOOK IT UP! HEY HOW ABOUT THAT THEY GOT FUCKIN' LEAP
MONTHS SOMETIMES I LOVE IT and also probably shold have known it BUT I
KNOW IT NOW AND IT'S WONDERFUL!
I'll Come Up With Some Great Titles...
Too busy now trying to come up with a great title!
Just got back from Walk. The point is if I'm gonna be an The New Monkee
1st choice is The Fool. That's me to a T baby. Also, in High School
Drafting, there's a T something. Like a, "T Stick," I forget, lemme look
it up. T SQUARE GOT IT. Anyway, second choice is The
Nincompoop-- I think that would be a lot of fun exploring that role. Third
choice would be The Stupid-- hmm so I'm stupid now how's that working out for
me. Then, if I have to, I'll settle for Idiot-- ...That, Yup
that sums that up. The point is I just got undressed because I don't
have to go outside again until later today so that's Future Me's problem
at this point! Lets say I'm done now. I know a 1 paragraph block
feels wrong, but it ends everything in Multiple Of Five so I figure that's
pretty good, right? Right?
Saturday, October 5, 2019
The Title Says It All
Ayyy Yo! Not sure why an, "Ayy Yo," was
warranted. Maybe we'll find out later in the entry. Anyway, Hey!
The Title Says It All slant rhymes. Tit-all/All. That's the great
thing about rhyming-- all you have to do is mispronounce words slightly and that
opens up all these brand new doors to rhyme it with! Hmm. Thinkin'
about titles... You can't judge a book by its cover. And you can't
judge a cover by its title. Plus you can't judge a title by its
font. FINALLY you can't judge a font without spending some time getting
to know it. Either by just re-reading that title in that font over and
over again or, ideally, doing some research on the internet on Comic Sans
or Courier New. How did Comic Sans get its name. Was whoever
came up with it like, Hey this font IS CRACKING ME THE FUCK UP!
Sans means, "without," right? So maybe he was like NOPE NOTHING FUNNY
ABOUT THIS FONT. ALL THE OTHER FONTS CRACK ME UP BUT THIS ONE IS JUST
BUMMING ME OUT.
I remember the first iteration of Crazysheet,
Crazysheet.com (RIP 2004-2007 or 08) for some reason Microsoft FrontPage (Thing
that helps you make the website) had a font called Courier New Final Draft
or something like that. They MADE UP THEIR OWN COURIER NEW! VERY
SIMILAR BUT THEY WERE LIKE NOPE NOT PERFECT WE'RE GONNA MAKE SOME TINY
ADJUSTMENTS. And the point is I USED THAT FONT OVER THOSE
FEW YEARS I'M NOT ASHAMED TO AD MIT IT. So any thoughts of hey this
is pretty creative never seen anything like this before was actually due to
subconsciously realizing the font is a little different and then ascribing that
Newness to the content. Hah! FOOLED YOU GOOD! Anyway now I
still use the same program but the font isn't there anymore for some reason.
Now it's just plain 'ol regular Courier New. Other one coulda been
called New Courier New. C'mon, you get a chance to make a Word Palindrome,
YOU TAKE IT!!
THIS PROGRAM IS MICROSOFT FRONTPAGE, FINAL DRAFT WAS THE
SCREENWRITING SOFTWARE! THAT'S WHERE THE FONT CAME FROM]
Saw Joker yesterday.
Wasn't as disturbing as the hype. I was expcecting to see a movie that
made me scared to leave the theater after it was over because I was pretty sure
the world would have erupted into The Purge over the course o the 2 hours I was
in the theater. Nope! Still your standard most regular people obeying
the law and still most Trump/Republicans/Etc. breaking the law.
Nothin' Old, Nothin' New! Also my main gripe with it is that Joaquin
Phoenix has gotta be close to 50 but as far as I could tell his character is
probably in his 20's. They don't say it explicitly but the pieces are
there to put that together and whatnot. Hmm, good idea for Joker II!
Joker putting together a puzzle for 2 hours. But its good because he
laughs crazily every 8 minutes to keep us the audience entertained.
What else is crap. I dunno Joaquin Phoenix could easily be just 40...
IMA CHECK IT OUT. ALRIGHT SPLIT'D THE DIFFERENCE HE'S 44!
Fourth paragraph! The good news is I finally
started a movie on HOBOGO, the 2018 Halloween. Saw it in the theaters! Now
have seen half of it on TV! But I was shitfaced for that time so I didn't
really register 90% of what was happening. And I was on the phone reading
twitter for that 10% of registering what was happening so I only half-registered
it. Wow! I like the ballsiness of making a sequel in a franchise and
just being like Yeah all the other sequals didn't count... except for the
ones you liked... so yeah all the other sequels sucked BUT TRUST US this one is
better and then presume people'll buy it. Which they will!
Worked for Halloween (let'lets forget them all except the 1st 2) is gonna
work with Terminator (exact same thing, people seemed to like the first two
so THIS IS THAT CANON COMBINED WITH ONLY THOSE TWO PLEASE BELIEVE US THIS IS
BETTER THAN THEM OTHER SEQUELS) Gotta assume that's gonna
pay off in the long run. Cause what's the worst that could happen?
Someone leaves the theater going hey that was crap, too, What The Hell?
Too late they already got your money!
Movie idea-- sequel to The Truman Show but this time around
he's inadvertently starring in The Truman Movie. And they play Pavement's
Shady Lane in the trailer. (some chorus lyrics go you've been
chosen as an extra in the movie adaptation in your life.) There's
Something There! Truman thought he escaped the Reality Show only to slowly
find out he's now in a Reality Movie! Hey let's watch that movie but
first they have to make it THE BALLS IN YOUR COURT HOLLYWOOD. Also,
forget the lyrics, that song would be a good soundtrack to a movie trailer.
Specifically that kind of movie. And also the lyrics line up great
so in teh end there's really no reason not to make this movie just for
the trailer! What else is going on. Hey, here's an interesting
thing-- What The Hell Kind of Music Does Donald Trump like? I've seen
Obama release lists of the music he likes. There was that interview with
Kamala Harris. What the hell gets Donald Trump going.
Everyone likes some sort of music! He can't just be thinking 100% of
this is for the plebes I don't give a fuck about this nonsense.
Because he wouldn't know the word plebian and surely wouldn't be clever enough
to shorten that to plebes as a slang!
What else is going on and crap. Sixth paragraph!
Figure I'll take a walk after ~10. Come back, eat some lunch while writing
another 5-10! Cool beans. I can't wait to here Green Day's NHL-themed
song. I hope it makes me want to watch hockey. I got nothin'
better to do might as well get into some hockey right? Plus, if Green Day
says hockey is good, I'm sold! Why would they lie? They'd get
nothing out of lying, presumably they just love the NHL so much they decided
hey lets make a song about hockey because we love hockey so much and then
there was no quid pro quo Green day just LOVES hockey and wanted to get the
message out! No Quid Pro Quo there at all! C'mon put your thinking caps on
people, this ain't complicated!
Anyway, jeez. 7th Paragraph! Switching up Colors
for Fonts again this month, but am just gonna limit myself to Very Light
versions of colors. Easier to read. A Dark Blue or Red, no one wants
that! Too aggressive last entry was a real light blue THAT'S FUN AND
EASY TO READ PPL GET A KICK OUT OF LIGHT COLOR FONTS. This one is like a
light orange, close to a light yellow, right? PPL LOVE COLORS AND I'VE GOT
THE BEST OF THEM. Jeez. Gonna get a haircut over the next few days.
Survey Says the #1 Reason I Go To Get A Hair Cut is I need a shave and
I'm both too lazy to do it and relatively unequipped to do it these hairs are
realitively long and unruly it'd take WEEKS to pull each hair out one by one...
or shave. Hard to shave with manual OR electric razor. So the
point is I go to someone to shave me but just for shits have them cut my hair
too! Hmm, good song to play over the montage of me getting my hair
cut-- Pavement's Cut Your Hair.
The point is we're now living in the Pavement Era of our
lives and each thing we do should have a Pavement song playing over it.
Hah. Pavement. Pave Me Not. I Get It. Huh?
Jeez, eighth paragraph! Wonderful. She paves me, she paves me
not. She paves me... Wonderful. Apparently Bernie Sanders
had a heart attack. I'm under the impression that Heart Attacks are like
Tommy John Surgeries. That's Baseball thing. It's a thing that
pitchers often need to get that takes like 18 months to recover, but once you've
had it, its less likely you'll need it again. So pretty much Bernie
Sanders Got His One Heart Attack out of the way before his presidency so it's
actually Good. Kind of like a chicken pox thing, too. Bernie Sanders
held a birthday party for Bernie Sanders a month or two ago, exposed him to
other 70 year old kids with Heart Attacks, and That's How That Went Down!
At first I was like well this ain't good for his chances
politically. But then I was like what are the odds Trump, his
Presumed General Election Opponent, will have had a heart attack by then, too?
Gotta be above 50%, right? Dude eats cheeseburgers like they're tic tacs.
Then again, we'd never find out probably. Dude could have had 3 heart
attacks in the last three years as far as we know. Jeez, what else is
going on. Is Tic Tac supposed to be an onomatopoeia? Cause that's
kind of the sound they make when you shake up their little container?
Cause, if so, GREAT I LOVE ONOMATOPOEIA! What else is
crap. May go over 10 paragraphs for this portion of entry, before
WalkBreak. We'll see! HAH I CAN MAKE THAT SLANT RHYME, JUST
WATCH... Waeeelk Break. Or how about WOK BROCK.
Allah Wok Brock. Sorry. Sometimes things just come to me and
I have no choice but to write them down to share with the world.
I feel like if I had a Reverse Freaky Friday and became a kid
again, my first big thing would be like alright second chance at childhood--
I'm gonna have some grilled cheese sandwiches. Never had them in Real
Childhood, thought they seemed gross. Now I want some grilled cheese
sandwiches! But it's too late to make that transition now at 30 years old.
Really should be a Reverse Big... if it's a reverse Freaky Friday then I become
Some Other Real Life Kid and that's a complication I'm not prepared to deal
with-- too focused on having some Grilled Cheese Sandwiches. TThe
point is if you need someone to Face/Off with a kid, real life or in fiction,
I'm your man! I'm the right height and everything and that's most of what
Wow! I dunno. Been drinking a lot lately, which
isn't healthy, but on the other hand, who gives a shit. I'MA SURVIVE
ANYWAY JOKES ON U. Lots of Joker Smoking Cigarettes in the movie Joker.
A lot. Literally roughly 50% of the time he's smoking. Not even an
exaggeration, that's the truth! I assume because the filmmaker wanted us
to be constantly thinking Smokers are jokers, smokers are jokers,
smokers are jokers... and yeah that's our inner monologue for the whole 2
hours. I'm not sure how I feel about Robert De Niro being in movies like
this. I mean, this movie, apparently bound to be critically acclaimed, so
I guess that's okay. But he has been in a lot of relatively stupid stuff
that in theory might hurt his legacy. And he played sort of that kind of
stupid character in this movie, kind of to its extreme, but because the movie is
good, and that Stupid Kind of Character fits perfectly into this movie, it all
paid off in the long run? I don't have all the details.
Also, I was born in 1988. My main reference point for
What My Generation Thinks Truly About Robert De Niro has got to be Meet The
Parents, right? I mean, before that, we knew he was a great actor.
We knew that in Our Childhood. And as we've grown we've seen all his great
movies. But, just on a visceral level, it's kind of like well he made
that charming pretty funny comedy franchise and that was pretty good.
I DUNNO WHAT THE HELL I'm TALKING ABOUT. Here's what I'm
thinking about, though-- Lunch is Gonna be a cup of matzoh ball soup and
some sort of homemade sandwich. Got an extra Soup from Diner Dinner, most
responsible thing is to have it for lunch, and pair it with some crap I have
around the house. I got lean pockets. I got chicken nuggets.
But, no! I'm either gonna make a processed turkey/ham sandwich, or just
use those 2 slices of bread and combine it with 3 awfully low fat hot dogs.
1.5 for each piece of bread to wrap around I SWEAR THIS LUNCH UPDATE IS
TRUE TO THE BEST OF MY INSIGHTFULNESS.
That'll happen after I get back from walk! Prove me
wrong. What else is going on. The good thing about drinking is
when you're drunk you don't care if you're relatively rapidlly gaining weight!
And then, when you're not drunk, and you're thinking, I gotta put a stop to
this, guess what? The easiest way to Put A Stop To This is to Start
Drinking because You'll Stop Caring For A While! It's a true
win/win/ultimately-lose-long-term-to-the-extreme proposition! Wow!
13th paragraph. May take that walk after 15, or more, depending on how
quick I can spout off this bullshit. I like potential Republicans who may
come out against Trump, and how they're really hedging their bets. "Well,
if he did this its very troubling" Hey he did do this, he
released the Summary of the call which blatantly contained references to crimes,
then he went on TV and committed more crime for all of us to hear and see...
"yeah that's what I'm saying, if this happened, that's very troubling we
might have to think about doing something in that case." IT
HAPPENED WE ALL SAW IT! PRESUMABLY YOU SAW IT AS WELL! "We need
to look at all the facts, this is important to get right"
I dunno, maybe any tiny baby step towards holding him
accountably by Republicans should be encouraged. But who knows not me I
got no clue about anything like this. Also, maybe not give so much
positive press coverage to a, "Moderate," Republican whose
and maybe devote that coverage to one of the Democrats actually DOING SOMETHING
and frame it around THE DEMOCRATS ARE GONNA SAVE THE DAY, OR AT LEAST TRY TO
BY DOING THE RIGHT THING, POLITICS BE DAMNED, and not HEY THIS ONE ONE
REPUBLICAN CAME OUT TO SAVE THE DAY, OR AT LEAST SENT OUT SOME FEELERS TO SEE IF
SUCH A THING IS POLITICALLY VIABLE. You wanna make the few
random-non-Trumpist Republicans the heroes when you already have 230 actual
heroes just waiting for you to acknowledge and cover and give a platform to
speak out! I get that being able to present impeachment as bi-partisan is
a worthy goal, and its good to encourage Republicans to come out against Trump,
but don't give them all the credit for hopefully being some sort
of check on Trump. It's the Democrats. If they never took back the
congress in 2018, and started impeachment query, nothing would have happened!
So give credit where credit is due and whatnot.
I feel not-so-strongly-about-this-but-a-little-bit-strongly.
Strongly to the point where yeah that's how I feel and I kinda wanna get
those feelings off my chest but also who gives a crap right not me not
you most likely no one. So that sums that up. 15th paragraph!
Figure I'll take a walk after this one, get lunch going when I get back, then
write a bit more and close ths nonsense up. Anyway, got some beer at
Bodega today, was ready with my ID, and he goes how old are you and I go
here, I have my ID and he's like no just tell me. And I was
like, well, I'm actually 30. Forgot what e said after that but
that's always a source of micro-humiliation. That I'm definitely into
full-fledged adulthood and still need to acknowledge the first instinct of
people is to think I'm either a teenager or just barely outside of teenagerdom.
Oh well such is life!
Alright 1 bonus paragraph before I take my walk.
Probably a walk around the park today. Hah, WALK & PARK, THOSE CRAPS
ALMOST RHYME IF YOU PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT! I dunno. Apparently
in the four playoff games yesterday the team I'd rather win has lost. WY
WOULD GOD LET THIS HAPPEN. I dunno, ask him yourself. I DON'T
WANNA BOTHER HIM I'M JUST PRIVATELY WONDERING I WANT TO LEAVE HIM OUT OF THIS.
I don't get this supposed debate over why is God definitely a HE maybe God is
a lady. Well, first of all, there's no God. Second of
all, my impression is that, under most interprettations of God, including the
JudeoChristian one, I believe, God ain't even really a person. He's
beyond He/She. Yeah we say He for simplicity's sake but God doesn't
actually have a Dick or anything. Then again, on the other hand, in
Christworld, he impregnated Jesus' Mother, right? Kinda implies he's a
dude. At least in that storyline where Jesus is born and he's The Shit or
The point is I don't care I'll go there wherever there is.
Hard to have a human child if God is the mother. So some mortal human
found God's vagina hidden somewhere like the end of Indiana Jones and the last
crusade? A hidden holy quest to find God's Vagina? Then they did the
deed, 9 months later, some kid falls from the sky? I DON'T BUY IT!
Anyway, what else is crap. ALRIGHT BREAK TIME!!!
Hell Yeah I'm 30
Anyway, Bernie had a heart attack. AT LEAST HE
HAS A HEART! LolBURN FELLTHEBURN
JUSTNOTINYOURCHESTCAVITYITMAYBEAHEARTATTACK. What What else in the
world is going on. 18th paragraph or so, right? Yeah! The
point is-- and I know this is out there-- it's 2:13 right now-- what if I SKIP
LUNCH COMPLETELY? Would God in all HIS Glory be okay with such a
thing? I know the other Dem candidates all wished Bernie Well on Social
Media, but there's gotta be some segment of people involved in the Democratic
Primary that's like Hey Great Hopefully 1 Down, 8 or 9 to go! The
jokes on them, though! BERNIE DON'T GO DOWN THAT EASY. THIS DUDE'S
GOT HEART OUT THE YINGYANG. If anything, it only makes him stronger!
John Q. American is gonna be like, hey, heart attacks, I've heard of those!
Now he's more human to me to know his body has the same vulnerability as Mine
and My Friends.
And, like I said, can't we subpeona Trump's medical
results? Partly to sift through to see if he's unfit (mental medical
results) and also partly just to laugh at his unwellness (hah he's unhealthy and
that may catch up with him let's hope SOONER rather than LATER am I right I
Don't Want This Guy Around On This Earth Anymore He's Fucking Things Up For The
Rest Of Us) Anyway, what else is going on. I think Trump comes up
with denigrating nicknames of people not to really stick it to 'em, but just so
he'll remember who they are. Dude can't even remember his opponents names,
but he knows oh right this guy he's the LOW ENERGY guy or this guy is THE
LITTLE GUY NOW I remember who these people are! Sad, but true!
Good quote for his tomb stone.
What else is going on. How about a simple, "Fake
News." And his supporters will be like DAMN THAT MEANS HE'S STILL ALIVE
SOMEWHERE DEEP STATE SAVE ME Q. II'm not sure what about Deep
State is supposed to be so frightening. Hey people who work in the
government, or the media, or wherever else you're imagining a 'deep state', they
all exist within their own ecosystem and have their own culture and have their
own specific roles in our society. WTF CONSPIRACY WHY THE HELL HOW COME
I'M NOT IN CHARGE?!?!? Jeez, what else is going on and
crap. Also, if Q did exist, what exactly is his motive. I goI got
this inside knowledge info on big things, so what I will do with this is string
people along day after day, week after week, giving them clues to things for
some reason. Clues that never add up or are verified. But I'm doing
it because... people must know ahead of time... things that may or may not
Makes sense to me! Pretty sure, "Q," was in the
James Bond movies. I think that's what Dummies are living in, pretty
much. They think Q, and themselves by extension, are somehow living in a
cross between James Bond & The Da Vinci code. Dumb weirdos.
The point is Q IS A WHISTLEBLOWER BUT SUDDENLY THAT'S ALRIGHT??!?!
The The point is Lunch Is Still Up In The Air! Wonderful.
I Tell Ya, drinking stronger drinks has been great for my quality of life.
Drink the same amount throughout the day, but just more at once. Doesn't
last me any less times, and tere's also a period where I'm more drunk.
So I'm more drunk for the smae amount of time. Prove me wrong!
I think we need to bump things up with the, "Q," narrative. Maybe some guy
named, "R," gets in the mix and is posting on 4chan or whatever, Yeah this Q
is getting some tings right but don't trust him! And Q is like look
R is part of the deep state ignore him. And then R is like Q has
been lying to you! C'mon, these conspiracy theories are severely
lacking in drama!
What else is going on. 22nd paragraph! I can dig
it. Probaly aim for 25, right? Great, just great. If Bernie's
campaign slogan is Not Me. Us. then does that mean every day
he holds a lottery consisting of people who voted for him and we each get to be
president 1 Day At a Time? Because, if so...!!! THAT WOULD SUCK I
DON'T TRUST THESE ASSHOLES. What else. I'm confident Bernie's
campaign will catch fire at some point over the next few months. I think
they know what they're doing. I'd be perfectly happy with Warren, but I'm
not counting Sanders out yet just because he hasn't had as much Media Momentum
as Warren. This dude is BERNIE SANDERS yo! He's been my hero for as
long as I can remember! And I can't remember anything before 18 months
ago, so you know its true!
I just I just hope there's a time when Warren
say something like the law is we don't force kids to pray in school and
FoxNews' chyron says The Warren Christmas. Also it has to happen
around Christmas. Great, just great. Also, I hope Bernie is
president, and talks about climate change but doesn't do enough to address it,
and the MSNBC chyron says The World Is Berning I dunno.
MSNBC, by the way, is not the liberal version of Fox News as that joke may
imply. Fox News is far right/way too far right. MSNBC is
center/left of center. I feel very strongly about this. I think from
now on we should have to check in with Greta Thunberg, let's say, once every
month. Hey how's it going still worried about global warming?
Yeah nothing is being done! Cool cool maybe one more month In The Hole
will get you to change your tune!
That's how that might go, right? Why the Hell
are Energy Companies still winning?!? THERE'S SO MANY MORE PEOPLE NOT
PROFITING FROM THIS THAN THERE ARE WHO ARE! C'MON SOCIETY THIS
AIN'T THAT HARD! 24th paragraph. I don't remember the details or
circumstances at all, but I had a dream last night where I temporarily became a
member of The Squad. I forget the context completely, but there was this
feeling, well here we are and I'm part of it now... they may not
want me but that's a problem for when I'm Waking Up, when it turns out none
of this has happened in real life at all... II don't 100% get sports
rivalries. HEY THAT OTHER TEAM IS FROM ANOTHER CITY! I HATE
OTHER CITIES! Or THAT TEAM IS A DIFFERENT FRANCHISE MADE UP OF
A DIFFERENT ADMINISTRATION, MANAGEMENT, PLAYERS... THEY ALL SEEM LIKE
JERKS TO ME
IT MAKES ME SO MAD!
I mean, philosophically, its stupid enough we root for a
team in sports arbitrarily (well, usually based on where we live geographically,
which is pretty arbitary). Then take that to the next level of actively
dislikign other teams? Seems weird, that's all I'm saying!
Anyway, someone with much more time on their hands than me (which, upon further
examination, is impossible) and is much more stupid than me (which, upon further
exampination, is pretty unlikely) should make a parody of The GHostbusters Theme
Song for The Squad. IT ALREADY SLANT RHYMES IF YOU DO ITE CORRECTLY
--CALL/SQUAD SO CLOSE TRUST ME IF I WAS SINGING THAT I COULD MAKE IT SOUND LIKE
A RHYME BUT I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME NOR AM I STUPID ENOUGH GET OFF MY BACK
ABOUT IT. The pint is next time I get beer from Supermarket I'm gonna
get it in bottles because I Just Don't Give A Fuck.
Sounds about right. Let's say 5 paragraphs to
go. Jeez. God must be lonely. Can we make a female God out
of God's rib to keep him company? Seems only fair, returning the favor,
and what not. Hmm why A Rib to make another human out of. There's
many really important parts to a person's body, and A Rib is not one of
them. I get that he needs to pick something that Adam will be fine
without. But a rib? Who needs ribs, people have them removed for
cosmetic surgery, right? Like you want to have rediculously large fake
breasts, don't they sometimes remove ribs to accommodate that? I saw it on
some sort of TV show. You know, The Freak Channel? I forget
what its actually called, its the channel that shows Freaks of All Natures.
Lifestyle? Some sort of, "Discovery," channel? Who can remember!
What else is crap. I think Pizza Hut is really shooting
itself in the foot by demanding a delivery be over 20$. I'd be getting
Pizza Hut all the time if I wasn't forced to add on things I don't really want.
Public Message to Pizza Hut-- get it together GOD no one wants your stupid
cinnamon sticks WE JUST WANT DISGUSTING MASS PRODUCED PIZZA WHAT ABOUT THAT
IS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND. Anyway. Saved about 2000$ which
would have been spent on smoking cigarettes over the last 1/2 year. That's
good news for Health and Financial reasons! Great, just great. Maybe
God should have picked a more importnat part of Adam to create Eve, so Adam has
more of a vested interst in the whole enterprise. You take Adam's right
arm, he's gonna be like MAN I FUCKIN MISS THAT ARM, but here's this new
person because of it, WELL MIGHT AS WELL SEE WHAT SHE'S ALL ABOUT I ALREADY LOST
AN ARM OVER IT. Made her out of a rib? Adam could care less.
YEAH I LOST A RIB WHO NEEDS IT ANYWAY HEY LADY WHAT ARE YOU ALL ABOUT I DONT
REALLY CARE ONLY A RIB I LOST!
In some alternate universe, this may make some sort of
sense. I'd like to meet that universe some day. Three paragraphs
to go! Why does God need Adam's rib in the firs place. he made Adam without
any kind of rib. Why cant he just go ABRA CADABRA EVE! And
there she appears. The point is there's many plot holes in this story and
I'm not buying it! What was the original intent of the bible and other
religions. We know that today they're used to manipulate people, but the
people who made this crap up, did they think yeah people are gonna like this
and maybe become better people it's good what we're doing. Cause
that's very much at odds with today's Religion Leaders which is to just exploit
people-- financially, politically, socially-- all sorts of exploitation.
But maybe originally the intent was more beningn-- who knows! And, either
way, what's their motivation. Hey I just came up with this story called
Adam And Eve, they live in a garden, first humans. Interested?? Hear
me out, let me continue... did they just think these stories were
captivating, or were they like this is gonna teach some profound life lesson,
or, hey, lets be nice, did they think this story was The Truth?
Maybe! I dunno, I wasn't there!
2 paragraphs to go. I guess. There used to be a
resturaunt The Garden Of Eating. True story! I would eat
their food while watching Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction. Some sort of
steakish dinner with garlic bread. You put the steakish stuff on a piece
of garlic bread, you watch Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction, and then you're me
when I was 9 years old! Do it! It's fun! Man I can
sure go for som garlic bread right now. Unfortunately, it's just not in
the cards! Oh well! I wonder how often the NHL has to clarify that
they're not proponents of nihilism. Probably very often. Right?
Seems like it would be coming up all the time and crap. Jeez.
Anyway, jeez. Third entry in 5 days of October.
I like that rate! Because each time I write an entry I can imagine people
reading it! That's fun! It's all like yep its me creating this
BUT ALSO let's pretend it's Some Other Guy/Gal reading this!
That's something I can get behind if I were so inclined. The point is it
certainly looks like No Lunch today. Dinner'll be between 3 and 4 hours.
Why eat lunch? Even if its a small lunch? Makes no sense.
Anyway, I'll see you guys later.
Thursday, October 3, 2019
Okay Let Us Entry
Almost halfway through the WakingDay and no alcohol!
FIgure I could go all day without it! Yesterday I had a real
breakthrough-- Hey I'm drinking drinks with 50% of the alcohol I USED TO
drink back when I was a lot younger... now gonna try 2x as strong drinks.. HOLY
SHIT I REMEMBER THIS IS BEING DRUNK IS LIKE IMA BE DIZZY ALL OVER THE PLACE!!!
So the point is I drank more yesterday, but it led to me being like well That
Fun should last me a while. So great anyway what else is going on.
The point is I have no idea why I continue to heat up vegetables (Broccoli or
Stewed Zucchini) in the oven when I'm re-heating a meal. Chicken, steak,
seafood, somethin' else... FINE HEAT IT UP IN TEH OVEN DON'T TAKE THE
BROCCOLI DOWN WIHT IT. I know iI know it dries it out. I
know it saps it of its nutrients. But I just feel hey I'm using up
Environment by turning the oven on, Might As Well Oven The Most I Can!
It's called being environmentally conscious you dummies.
Anyway. HBOGOin' all over the place. Sure I'll
watch the first season of Oz over the course of One and a Half DayTimes, I
Don't Know WHY its the first thing I decided to rewatch! There's even
presumably a bunch of stuff to Non-re-watch, movies and TV shows!
NOPE GONNA WATCH THAT ADEQUATE PRISON DRAMA. The good news is this morning
I've started mixing it up. Finished Season 1 of Oz, but also watched
Season 3 Episode 1 of Mr. Show: The Sketch Comedy Show as well as Season 1
Episode 1 of The Sopranos: Mafia People. Skipped to Season 3 Episode 1
for several reasons. One, over the last few years, I tried to start
re-bingewatch all of Mr. Show, but I don't think I ever made it past halfway
through Season 2. ALSO, if I remember, from in high school when I had an
encycloedic knowledge of Mr Show: The Content In The Show: Not All Other Aspects
Of It, anyway remember thinking Oh right Season 3 is the best. Then
season 4. Then 2, then 1. I HAVE MEMORIES DEAL WITH IT.
Mr. Show was an HBO show from the 90's. How come there's no generic online
quiz Which Mr. Show Star Are You? You know, like in Sex And/Or The
City, are you a Miranda, or a... Julie? Frances? CONNIE ONE IS
CONNIE RIGHT? Anyway in high school I was a David and now I'm more of
That's PERSONALwise. In terms of my career/artisticwise,
I'm a John Ennis because hey this guy is pretty good Lets Forget About Him.
I'm always intrigued about putting pasta or rice in the oven. I feel like
I used to do it regularly, but sometimes it would work fine, and other times it
would make the pasta/rice crispy which is no good. Maybe it's just a
matter of how long you leave it in for. WHO KNOWS THERE'S NO WAY OF
FIGURING THIS ONE OUT! The point is I can see myself drinking only 2 times
a week, if I really Go For It those 2 times. Don't drink to get buzzed,
where's the fun in that? I can Buzz Myself without beer if I really tried!
Just drink to get drunk! That's my motto. Well, it isn't really.
But it might be from here on out. Seems like a good motto,
How do people who have never seen Tenacious D: The HBO TV
Show think of Jack Black. Probably in some innacurate way! They may
be a Tenacious D fan, but without that show, they don't get it! And
then there's most of America that may know abstractly about Tenacious D but they
just know him as hey he's that actor guy who makes me laugh I don't know why
But I Don't Really GET HIM I dunno why they'd be explicitly thiking
that, just sorta fits in with my premise though! Anyway, if there was any
justice in the world, Stan wouldn't be a slang for Big Creey Fan of
something-- it would be Lee. Watch the HBOSHOW and/or it's probably
on the album, too! Basically the premise is Lee is a huge creepy fan of
Tenacious D but Tenacious D becomes huge creepy fans of him!
BECAUSE OF COMEDIC INSIGHT THAT'S AN INTERESTING STATEMENT ON FANDOM RIGHT HERE>
Jeez, what else is crap. I can easily relate to
that all over the place. If I had a fan(s) no fucking shit I'd be fans of
them being fans. Anwyway. Saw Trump is continuing to commit crimes
on Live TV! That's gotta be fun for people watching it. They'd be
like hey umm what's the deal with this guy whose the president and all these
crimes he's committing? I try not to watch that stuff. But my
parents have MSNBC on about 90% of the time there's someone in that room to
watch it. Which is like 2/3rds of my WakingDay. So I heard bits and
pieces now and then and Man Crap Is Shitty these days in the news! Oh well
what can ya do. Fifth paragraph. Jeez I had some save-em-up from
this morning but I can't remember it! Such is crap.
In lieu of drinking today, figured I'd just abuse some
other drug. Was thinking about snorting a Ritalin, give that a go!
Decided against it, that's not a ResponsibleAdultGuy thing to do. No,
instead I just took 3 pills at once instead of the recommended 1 pill.
Hey I'm ingesting these in the proper way WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT. [Hey
guys did you hear Crazysheet is abusing his prescription pulls]
WHO THE HELL IS THAT GUY WHY SHOULD YOU BELIEVE HIM ITS A SCAM GIVE ME BOTH
SIDES COVERAGE I DON'T KNOW WHO BRACKETGUY IS PROBABLY FUNDED BY GEORGE SOROS
THOUGH. Hey I'm Jewish. Maybe I'm funded by George
Soros and don't even know it! That'd be an interesting turn of events,
right? Hmm, well the only way we could ever get to the bottom of This Mystery
is have it drawn out for weeks or months and hopefully Brackets guy will show up
and support his claim! Cause right now its up in the air! AH
THANKS BOTHSIDESCOVERAGE I OWE YA 1!
That's pretty much where we're at right now? Anyway
what else is going on. II WILL SAY THIS, THOUGH. I ALSO JUST TOOK
2 KLONOPIN INSTEAD OF THE RECOMMENDED DOSE of 1! BUT ANYONE WHO WILL TELL
YOU THAT IS A LYING SCUMBAG DON'T LISTEN TO 'EM! What else is going on
and crap. I think I just cracked some kind of code there.
Abstractly, this entire psycho-drama is sort of Trump calling himself a liar.
Because he's insane. And it all plays out on a large scale with many
surrogates and strange confusions. Trump clearly says things-- out
in the open-- and his response to these new turn of events is to then indirectly
imply (or directly state) that its actually not true at all. I may
be using the phrase psycho-drama incorrectly. By it, I just
mean, Trump is a psycho and there's some sort of unfortunate drama element to it
all. Seventh paragraph. A lot of Overeating/Drinking is just a
matter of IAmAConsumerAtHeartAndMustBePhysicallyConsumingThings. Haven't
had a cigarette in half a year, that's the good news! And if I'm
overweight and drunk half the time, but don't smoke cigarettes, that's probably
still better for my health in the end.
Cool! What else is crap. Man I'm gonna watch
THE SHIT out of Isn't It Romantic? That was the first movie I saw on
HBOGO and haven't browsed what else is there at all! For all I know, the
only current options on HBO are shows I've watched before and I liked, and Isn't
It Romantic. Hey, great, just great. Anyway, being in a
different state last night, and bored, I decided to go ahead and transfer a shit
load of songs from Mostly 2010 from my old computer to my new one.
Listened to 1 of 'em! I liked it! No one else would! But I'm
my own biggest fan. Also, the other songs might not be great, but damn I
was IN THE ZONE for titling songs. So many great titles that I can
just re-use with Better Music. So I got that going for me is the point!
I can't be the only one whose sick of scandals being
called WhateverGGate. Jeez its played out I'm sick of it!
Also half or more of us weren't even alive back at The Original Watergate.
Not to be confused with Watergate 2014: Flint Edition. I'm still a
proponent of, if we are gonna use WhateverGate, for Trump, just go with
TrumpGate. Anything else doesn't cover everything. I honestly
can't think of a better WhateverGate them just TrumpGate.
Hey TRUMPGATE MAYBE THAT'S A GREAT NAME FOR BORDERWALL!!! That's
him and/or some other idiot(s) talking. But not me! I'm a different
kind of idiot! The Green Day kind of Idiot! AMERICAN!
Cool, cool. Hey that must have been the 3rd New
Monkee Stupid. Almost definitely. One is Fool, Two is Idiot,
Three is Nincompoop, Four... I'll leave that one open! i'm not gonna be
writing this all by my lonesome so the fourth one, we'll have to wait to see
what the rest of The Team wants to say! Also, good title for a music
song/album-- Let's Go Team. One of my favorite titles I've ever
done. Because it means 3 dozen things at once. My favorite, though,
is I imagine like a little league team that just got beat badly and the coach,
in his humiliation, sees its time to go and dejectedly goes Lets Go Team.
That may or may not say a lot about where my head is now/where it was 9 years
ago when I first came up with the title! Hey what's the music like for
that track. MUSIC? HUH? THESE ARE JUST TITLES. 3
MINUTES OF WHITE NOISE-- BUT LOOK AT ALL THOSE FANTASY ALBUMS IN ITUNES
WITH ALL THOSE NARRATIVES CREATED BY READING THE TITLES FROM TRACK 1 ONWARD!
I'm a story teller is the point and I tell stories the
only way I know how-- with Empty Titles. What else is going on.
I saw they're getting rid of iTunes or something? That can't be good for
independent bands. The more they streamline our consumption of music, it's
gonna be less and less likely people are exposed to/can easily listen to
independentistas. Which I am so Hey I Don't Like This Turn Of Events!
Also THE FONT ON iTUNES IS VERY SPECIFIC AND IF YOU GET RID OF ITUNES SUDDENLY
THAT THROWS ALL MY TITLES OUT OF WACK-- DIFFERENT FONT MEANS DIFFERENT TITLES.
Anyway. Maybe put together an album out of This Batch of Songs.
I feel like I had a pretty specific voice for this specific time period of Crap
and no reason why people shouldn't be able to listen to 30 minutes of it at
their own convenience! Have to listen at bandcamp.com, though! No
More Itunes, thems the breaks!
Sure, sure, what else is going on. Another thing that I
found really fun from That Time Period was I had an album plotted out that was
like 60 tracks long. The music, again, may or may not have existed-- I
think it did exist but the quality varied from forgettable nonsense to
unforgettable mediocrity all the way to forgettable decentness. But just
reading that narrative the titles made on iTunes, wow, what fun! 12th
paragraph? Wow! The great thing about Ritalin and Klonopin is
that they're drugs which I have, and have the capacity to Lightly Abuse.
C'mon, taking 2 or 3 at once once in a blue moon, that ain't so bad.
Also, how often are there blue moons? I've been around 30 years or so and
can't remember any blue moons. So if something is Once In A Blue
Moon, you'd be real lucky to accomplish it even once at any point in
Hi! I don't get the conept of mooning someone as an
insult. Hey you wanna see an intimate part of my body that I keep under
wraps from strangers? CHECK THIS OUT!!! And then I'm like
Well, you got me there.? I GUESS? Put your pants back on You're
Embarrassing Yourself! I hate it when that happens. Are butts
intimate parts of the Body. We all know that people like them sexually,
but it doesn't really serve an exact purpose, right? Not including anal.
I dunno how I got down this rabbit hole. Oh, right, Moon.
Hah. I like people who think the Moon LIghting was stages. And have
now grown into people thinking... well... all the conspiracy Fox News crap.
Its like Occams' Razor in reverse. TThe simplest solution is often THE
MOST CONVOLUTED AND NONSENSICAL SOLUTION! That's the philosophical
mindset about 30, 35% of our country is living under. hmm-- maybe we
should start our own crazy conspiracy theories about Republicans. Yeah, I
know, who needs Made Up Stuff with their Real Stuff is so Cartoonishly Super
Villianlike-- but just for that segment of the population thats like Nope not
good enough I want something So unbelievable Only I Would believe it!
SoHow about this-- Trump changed his name from Donald PMURT, because the guy
who signed his birth certificate was dyslexic. That urban legend where a
vacationing couple brings back a dog from Mexico for their kid and it turnsout
to be a rat? Based on a true story from Trump's childhood. But
instead of his parents brining him back a dog(/rate) they just decided to
intermittently call Donald a Dog and/or a Rat and that's where he gets his self
esteem from. Also, Donald Trump came up with the idea for the I Know
What You Did Last Summer franchise.
Sure these are all about Trump. Gotta Give The People What They Want!
That's a fun idea, though, once Trump is gone (presumably) and our country
returns a little bit back to normal (hopefully). Someone should just
start publishing a series of Trump Fan Fiction, but it's Not-a-Fan
fiction, and it's just humiliating stupid funny situations that Fictional Trump
is getting into now that he's out of office. Just a real whitewash of the
crap we went through. Back into the realm of the unbelievable, right where
he belongs. Jeez. Signed up with my local multiplex to see a showing
of Joker: The Major Motion Picture tomorrow afternoon. Dunno what to
think. I'm under the impression it may be very dark and desturbing.
And we all know that The Impressions I'm Under Here And There often tend to be
100% accurate about 65, 70% of the time. I'll take those odds! I
Don't Have A Choice About Taking Them! They're unequivocally MY
Odds and I'm stuck with 'em. Anyway. It's been 2 and a half
years with Trump and, give credit where credit is due, I don't remember one
official press conference he gave where he was in the middle of eating a
cheeseburger. If I know Trump as well as I think I know him, he's
gotta constantly be like JESIS THIS ALL WELL AND GOOD BUT WHENS MY
CHEESEBURGER BREAK GONNA HAPEN?
SLOB! II know a lot of I know a lot
of comedians and writers and artists and thinkers have been thinking and
Political Correct culture and whatnot, pretty much for the last 3 or 4 decades?
But definitely manifesting itself differently these days. I only have on
question-- alright, we've talked about PC Culture-- now lets talk about MAC
cultre. You're all on a Justin Long framed esoteric debate about societal
morals within art-- hey there's a whole other way-- let's think in a John
Hodgeman-centric world view! Not sure what that would entail but it seems
like almost an insight-em up that someone much more clver than me can make
something out i. WIAT IM GONNA CANCEL MYSELF HODGEMEN WAS THE PC AND
JUSTIN LONG WAS THE MAC.
The point is the inherent confusion in this riff
is deeply demoralizing to try to stick with it and get to some esoteric piece of
humor that I was imagining from the get go. Ok, lets start over.
Comedians don't like PC Culture because they're jealous of John Hodgeman's
success. They do like Mac Culture because Justin Long is the patron
saint of comedy and everyone just wants to see him succeed and be on the
Justin Long Boat from the beginning. Anyway. I can point to John
Hodgemen as the first time of many where I saw someone's work being similiar to
something I had written. And at the time it was great, Hey This Stupid
Joke Is Good Enough For Him! But the more and more it happened
(totally innocently-- that's just the facts about writing jokes-- a lot of
repetitiveness, and for the most part we all fit similar modes creatively)...
Anyway that ended up combining with mental illness, seeing a joke i wrote
show up somewhere else, then some paranoia gets involved. But anyway, the
first time it happend, I was in highschool, and his book back then had a
reference to Cryptozoologists which I something I had just made up,
presumably on the inetnert,preusmably on crazysheet.com. But I wasn't
really sick then so I was just like Hey That's Really Cool! This ONE
Thing was good enough as a throwaway thing for This Other Guy! ANYWAY
it might have been, "CryptoGeologists? Or maybe he said cryptozoologist as
a real thing, but my bit was about makign a nonsense word,
Fun! Anyway, jeez. Hmm internet says
Cryptozoology is a real thing. Like for Big Foot and Sasquatch.
Nah I'm jus gonna continue to just think its a MakeUpThing
ThatSoundsRedicioulsWhoeEVerWRoteofCryptoZoology. Sasquatch was
also a fan of Tenacious D in Tenacious D: The HBO SHow (and, later, in the
movie) and they in turn were friends with Sasquatch. Point is what else is
going on. 17th paragraph!?! Amazing! Gonna take a walk
right now. Come back to either write 2-7 more paragraphs! See ya
Okay Let Us Continue
I dunno where I got the idea that to create any kind of
art, its best to be on drugs or inebriated in some fashion. I mean, first
thing that comes to mind is that good musicians and other kinds of artists are
always dying from drug overdoses. These jerks do a lot of drugs! But
I think I made that leap from Using Drugs to Using Drugs Help Artistically.
Sorta a correlation doesn't prove causation. I dunno, was Kurt Cobain
going man if only I was high I'd get to the nuts and bolts and in the nitty
gritty and the... some third thing.. gotta get high to think of that third thing
in the first place, lets go! INo, thinking about it now, the high drug
use was probably just related to the stress of the artist's lifsyle, right?
I Still Don't Know! Maybe both to help creatively and to help take the
edge off caused by this wild 'n crazy career. Maybe a third thing!
The point is I have dreams a lot where I find an extremely easy way to buy
illegal marijuana. It's just oh there's this park, sometimes in the
city, sometimes near where I live, there's gonna be a guy on a bench, ok?
No scam-- you pay him, you get some weed. Not gonna rip you off.
Quality won't be so great but Hey That's The Price You Pay For Convenience.
The Whatta dream. Drugs are kind of like the
Inverse of fashion. You're choosing all these accessories that you're in
full control of, seeing how everything plays off one another, and its to create
a cohesive sense of how you (Fashion-->Appear to the world, as wel as yourself,
and for [Drugs-- justify how you ACT to the world, and how you appear to
yourself] The point is life is a scam lets just throw it all out the
window. 20th paragraph. Figur another 5 is the way to go. Have
no idea what I'm gonna do for dinner tonight! Doors are wide open!
Frankly it's a safety hazard! If I have the front door wide open and have
no interest in closing it the least I can do is take this business downstairs so
I could at least keep an eye on that open door!
Eh, whose got the time. Anyway. I hope
impeachment is accomplished within the next few months, because by the time it's
Christmas, I feel like A Christmas Carol night happen to Trump. Pretty
much his best case last ditch chance for redemption. His press confrence
the next morning, after he's a better person, would be like Listen everybody
I talked to some ghosts-- they really seemed to like me, they said Sir you're
doing a great job, and I said yes I am. Then they started becomign a
bit indignant so, who you gonna call, I called the ghostbusters... turns out
that was fictional movie. They don't exist in real life. But
ghosts do, in this scenario. Oh well such is life, what else is going on.
AlsALso, Ghostbusters don't really Bust ghost. Not by the
definition of bust I know. They trap 'em in a ziplock bag type
deal. If you're busting a ghost, that means you're fuckin' breakin' them
apart or something. Or at lesat giving them a full physical beatdown.
No, you're just catching them and storing them for your own amusement which
seems kind of diabolical what the Hell are they up to? Eh whose got the time for
more entry. I'll see ya later
Tuesday, October 1, 2019
The Title Means The Entry Is Near!
Hello jerks and friends. This month is a new month. Similar to last
month, but spelled differently, pronounced differently, and contains different
kinds of days. Well, the kinds of days are pretty similar. Still
got your standard Sunday Through Next Saturday Week. Or Monday-Sunday,
or Saturday-Friday. Last one is for Jews. First one is for
Christians. Middle one is for THE FORGOTTEN AMERICAN WORKING MAN
HEY LETS HAVE ANOTHER LABOR DAY IT JUST FEELS RIGHT.
Anyway, what else is going on. The point is its a new month!
Thought about experimenting with New Fonts for Entry, other than Courier New.
Decided against it! You don't change horses in mid-stream! Also,
riding horses in streams, is that where Water Polo comes from?
Ah A Real Think-Em-Up!
I like how in Oregon Trail, if there's an 11 foot deep
river, it gives you the option of would you like to continue walking into the
river with your friends and horses? And you can go well, we'd all
be submerged underwater for, I don't know, several hours... yeah lets
take a chance! And then sometimes it pays off! I guess if
you invested some of that Starting Out Money in snorkels, that turned out to be
great. If Oregon Trail was such an Oregon Trail how come Oregon isn't the
most populated place and crap. I get that demographics can switch up over
a century and a half, but I'm not under the impression that Oregon was more
populated than California even back in the mid-late 1800's. And I have
absolutely no base knowledge on this topic so obviously whatever stupid
"impression," I'm under must be taken seriously!
Good title for a one-man-show. Under The
Impression. And, yeah, it's an impressionist one man show.
Impressionist One Man Show, you mean like Cézanne doing.. a... one man show...
HAH "CÉZANNE" I DUNNO WHO THAT IT IS BUT IT SURE SOUNDS FUNNY.
Another good idea for an Impressionist One Man Show -- Many Man Show!
Cause he's gonna be trying to convince you he's several people over the
course of the show. Don't fall for it! It's all an act!
Was there ever a thing-- even like a one time only thing-- must have happened a
bit-- where they did a Reverse Oregon Trail? Like you just band together
with some outcasts and misfits from neighboring villages in Oregon and are like
yeah this isn't working out for us... Gonna go back to the east coast!
And presumably you face all the Challenges Backwards. I dunno, maybe
there's something there, I don't have the patience to find out right now!
Anyway. Just set it up so I could watch HBOGO on my
computer. So that should keep me occupied until the 2030's, 2040's or so.
Then it's time to do a Ready Player One and presumably by then there will be a
dozen sequals so we'll know what to continue doing then in the future in real
life. Huh. I credit seeing Ready Player One in the theaters
as the start of my Regaining Some Sanity Period. I was all like Stephen
Spielberg would want me to be... sa... I dunno what else is going on and
crap. The point is everything that ever happened 2012 on is basically
within the context of how is this going to make me More Sane? And
look at me now! Writing a Website! Hey how about that that's great.
I hope Trump is just messing around with Civil War talk.
Because I can see it becoming a thing. Hey we don't like the coast and
presumably the coasts don't like us, maybe we should just Be Separate!
And someone's like oh but you rely on the parts of the country You Hate for
all your resources and wealth and everything. And you're like hmm I
don't think so, everyone knows Idaho is the global center of finance and
industry! Well, potato-wise at least. Hah Potato Wise
ITS A BRAND OF POTATO CHIP GET OUT OF THE WAY! Anyway. How crazy
do you wanna push this thing. That's the question on everybody's mind.
Alright gonna start lunch and then star t a new block. The point is I have
HBOGO now its all uphill from here!
Is it good? Is it bad? I'm eating it and I
Still can't say! It's certainly distinguishable than from your local
adequate Italian Restaurant. I just can't figure out if its better or
worse. I know the portion size is better! It's like 40% of what
you'd get. Perfect! I love that number and when you put a
PercentSign ahead of it EVEN BETTER. The point is, to get HBOGO, I needed
to enter in a Passowrd, and my parental units had forgotten, and I had to spend
3 hours convincing them to let me click Forget Password so they'd e-mail
it to my Dad. They felt that would fuck everything up. With the
premise being that it would change the password for Many Things because its like
the generic account for all our internet and TV (Turns out it wasn't). But
even if it was-- they were talking like SHIT WOULD BE FUCKED UP IT'D TAKE
DAYS TO SORT THINGS OUT! And I was like well no worst case scenario
is you spend 15 minutes adjusting 3 or 4 things to a new password. The
point is I Turned Out To Be Right and it was the best birthday ever.
Hmm this Chicken part of the Chicken Parmegiania-- I figured it out.
It's worse than you'd get at Restaurant as part of a Parmgegan-- but if you just
wanted a chicken cutlet Outside The Realm of Spaghetti Dinners-- its Better!
Before HBOGO happened, I was ready for My Next Thing to be
watching Beyond Belief: Facts And/Or Fictions for free on YouTube. Which I
would have been fine with. It's terrible, but, hey, sometimes terrible
does the trick! I hope the final episode of the series, at the end, they
go Did we have you going that some of these were based on true stories?
Yup, WE GOT YA. ITS ALL BULLSHIT DUH YOU MOR--OH WAIT WE'RE BEING
CANCELLED? Oh well, jokes on us I guess. What else is going on...
That was all Jonathon Frakes and/or James Brolin. Turns out Bernie Sanders
is raising money all over the place. And he says he doesn't like it
when people have a lot of money! HYPOCRITE! But, yeah, sure
that's good news. Its good too because I like that there guy for
president! Anyway Sphaghetti Lunch is dunn. I was okay with it!
A solid B-/B!
Jeez. Gotta come up with a Hilarious Title for The
Month. Hmm. Novem--WAIT NOT YET. Nah, that's no good.
Greenday's September OSmething Now NOLONGER nope that's not a thing.
I'm starting to come to terms with Black Cherry Soda being a great option for
mixing with any kind of alcohol. It's on the Savory Side of soda (which
means absolutely nothing and even if it did mean something its still incorrect)
but it just works man! Cherry is a Citrus. It doesn't
feel like a Citrus, though. That's the, "Black," working! Eighth
paragraph. Figure 10-15 or so is the way to go, right? I just
noticed the brand of my comb is Conair. WHY. Cause
hair is up in the air? Rhymes with air and it's at the top of your shizz
way up where air is? Anyway. Dunno even why I have a comb.
Doesn't fit into my daily routine at all! Not even weekly routine!
Yup! The point is I've made a huge lifestyle shift
going from almost exclusively sweet snacks to mostly salty. No more
cookies ice cream cakes. More cheez its wheat thins crackers.
Prove me wrong! Anyway, the playoffs start tonight. Man, it's gonna
take a real miracle for the Mets to sneak their way into this one!
Ya gotta believe! Really? What good would believing do?
Then God will get involved and help your team win because of all that nice
believing you did! I saw Greenday teamed up with NHL. I presume
because the NHL wanted to get the message, See, we're THIS kind of white
people! out there. And ya know what? Mission accomplished!
Now I get the NHL a little bit better. OH Green Day kinda white people,
that clears things up, gotcha.
10th paragraph! Maybe take a break after this one.
Come back later and write another 5 or 10. I feel like this entry has been
a solid D+/C-! ALRIGHT PASSING GIMME FIVE! The next time I get Beer
from Supermarket, I'm gonna get bottles instead of cans. BECAUSE I LIKE
FUN! Anyway, yesterday, only drank one beer! THAT'S IT!
Also all that overeating but No Overdrinking! I didn't overeat that
much. Pretty much AteOnTarget. The point is HEY OCTOBER HUH.
What else is crap. I dunno who came up with advertising Pay Websites do on
Porn Sites by having their Preview Video be 2x the speed, but that guy was a
GENIUS! Now I wanna watch ALL PORN at fast forward rates! I don't
know why IT JUST FEELS RIGHT! Hmm. That ended up in a weird
place. See ya later soon!
This Show's Quality Is
BEYOND BELIEF!! FIVE STARS
I guess. 5-10 more paragraphs, I Guess.
The point is I'm gonna need some time alone with this New Pornographers album.
Anyway. New Monkees. Knew Monkees. Isn't that how AIDS
started? That's a Shakespeare thing, right? You know
somebody, means you fuck'd 'em! Classier way of saying it, though.
May be Biblical, not Shakespeare. Fine get off my back about it leave
me alone is the point I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. Hey you know Trump?
Yeah I know him. EWWW SICKKKKKKK. What else is going on and
crap. I think Trump is getting lazier with hiding his obesity. I saw
a picture of him and was like that dude is 400 pounds. ...MAYBE HE'S
THE SECRET HACKER!!! That surely would be a twist worthy of
Shakespeare and/or Biblical Texts.
Anyway, jeez. It had been a while since we had a real
obese president. No one likes to talk about it but its true. I feel
like FDR might have been overweight? He certainly didn't get that much
exercise. I think I'm picturing TR, though, not FDR. Pretty sure if
FDR was running in the 21st century [lol dude can't runn!], good chance the
Republican media/politic would be like c'mon guy can't even walk we're
supposed to trust him? not buying it. Just a matter of how
explicitly they'd get that thought out there, whether they'd be overt with it or
use it more subliminally. The point is its gonna be a rare Dinner where I
have Subway because I'll pair it with a Diner Soup [Broth + some sort of other
thing(s)] and sure that's a dinner right there I'm happy with that turn of
Anyway. MAN on demand HBO makes Me GOOOOOOOOOOO holy
shit. As soon as I'm in a position culturally to inflict my own slang on our
collective conciousness, I'm usin' all that capital on making Go happen.
Oh shit this girl makes me GOOOOOO. Just blow all my cultural goodwill
(how I got it in the first place, I dunno!... but anyway...) on "Go!"
Anyway, jeez, what else is going on and crap. Two and a half more
paragraphs theoretically. Anyway, where do I go to vote for who I want to
win Baseball: The Playoffs? That's how they decide it, right? Fan
vote? Today is the wild card playoff between Milwaukee and Washington.
I'd like to vote for Milwaukee. Can someone direct me to the voting booth?
It's important very time sensitive the results should be being tabulated in a
matter of hours!
Daaammmmn that idiocy makes me GOOOOO HOOOLY SHIT.
Also, that's a good, standard amplifier-or-qualifier-or-whatever to GOOO.
"HOLY SHIT!" Terrible Presumably Cliché Riff-- Hey Guys What If Sports
Teams Were Actually Made Up Of What Their Names Said They Were!!!????!!!
Like Milwaukee would be made up of people who work in some sort of a Brewing
Enterprise. And Washington was made up of Trump supporters (National...ists...you
get the point) Not a great riff, because, like the Washington
Nationals, 1/2 the time it just doesn't make sense at all [The mets are made up
of Mets? Huh? <yeah I know Metropolitians GET OFF MY DEAL>]. And the
other half of the time its OK, so the team is made up of people who work at a
brewery. What's so funny about that? I can imagine guys working at a
brewery in Milwaukee wanting to play some baseball, doesn't seem particularly
out of character or BEYOND BELIEF)
Oh well, what can ya do. Write 1 more paragraph I
guess! Cool! The point is I Did Supermarket today so I got a whole
week until Responsibilities rear their ugly head around my door business and
whatnoat! Interesting thing about eating salty snacks vs sweet snacks--
often the portion size is more fluid. Like, you wanna eat one substantive
cookie, that's a set amount. You want some crackers or whatever, NOT a set
amount! Each one may be only 5-15 calories! You might end up using
this to your benefit, and you'll eat as little as you posisbly can limit
yourself to, or, you just go overboard and eat more and more and more because
hey what's one more Six Calories gonna do make you gain a pound NOT GONNA HAPPEN
UNTIL YOU EAT LIKE 600 OF THEM WHICH WHICH YOU WILL IN NO TIME AT ALL THIS
IS THE LIFE YOU CHOSE. See ya folks later.